Runaway Train
by Kiyoshi'sGirl64
Summary: On a trip to America, Yusuke & the gang meet a girl who deeply distrusts Kurama. Despite her distrust, she returns to Japan with them to escape her past. But her fear of the past repeating itself has a dramatic effect on her relationship with Kurama. KxOC
1. Prologue

Two silhouettes sit together on the riverbank. One reaches for the hand of the other.

"Don't," a girl's voice objects as she pulls away.

"Why not?" This voice is male, and he is confused.

"Don't," the girl repeats. She turns away. "Just don't."

"What's wrong, Anna?" He makes no move to touch her hand again. He doesn't even try to get her to turn around.

"I don't want to fall in love with you," the girl whispers. Then louder, more forcefully, "I _can't_ fall in love with you."

Now his voice is quiet. "Why not?" He makes no attempt to hide the fact that he is hurt by her words.

"Nothing good ever lasts. Either it dies, or they run away."

"You don't really believe that?"

"It always ends. And I'm tired of dealing with the hurt." She turns to face him. "If I stay distant, it won't hurt when it ends. Because what never began cannot end. If someone you never loved walks away, it makes no difference. I don't want to hurt anymore."

The man stares at her. "I won't leave you."

"You say that now. But you can't know."

"I _do_ know. And I promise. I will not leave you. Not now, not ever. And if that's not enough, that's okay. I can wait. I will wait as long as it takes me to convince you that you are wrong."

Anna stands. "You will be waiting a long time." She walks away from him.

He doesn't follow her. He remains at the river until the sun has set and the darkness has settled.

* * *

Well there you have it. The prologue. I own Anna but not the man. This story is going to draw on the lyrics from 'Runaway Train' by Soul Asylum

This story is the first in a long time that I will be posting without having the next chapter written beforehand, so the length of time between updates is likely to be totally random. Also the chapter lengths are likely going to be drastically different.

Please review!


	2. One

**Called You Up In the Middle of the Night**

_Six months previously…_

**Anna POV**

I am sitting on the riverbank. It's one of my favorite places in the world. The sound of the water is soothing. It's almost dark. My dark hair falls in front of my face as tears stream down my cheeks. Sometimes even during the day I can't escape the memories. But that's okay. Suddenly there are voices. That is the only disadvantage to this spot. It's so close to the hiking trail. I shrink into the shadows of the nearest tree, a large oak, and listen.

"This was a great idea Yusuke," a man's voice says.

"A good one," another voice agrees. Then he grumbles, "Even if it is more expensive than I can really afford. Why couldn't Hiei have paid his own way?"

"You are the ones who dragged me along," a cold voice answers. "I couldn't care less."

"But to spend three months in America!" the first man says enthusiastically. "It's fascinating. You get to see everything in a way you cannot learn from books. This really was a good idea, Yusuke."

"Heh heh. Stop, you're embarrassing me," a fourth person, Yusuke I assume, replies. "And try telling that to Keiko. I mean, it's not _my_ fault she's the only one who decided to go to college."

Their footsteps suddenly stop, only feet away from where I am hiding. "I'm not the only one who feels that, right?" the second speaker asks. Crap. They aren't just the normal hikers. They're spiritually gifted, like me. Sixth sense.

"No, Kuwabara," the first man reassures him. "But why would someone have left the trail? It's dangerous out here. Especially this close to dark." They should see it after dark.

"Not for you," the man called Yusuke cracks. "You couldn't get lost in here if you tried." What could he possibly mean by that. It's far easier to get lost in this forest than one might think. And after the sun has set… it's next to impossible not to get lost.

"Shut up," the first man replies chuckling at some sort of inside joke. Then he commands, "Show yourself."

Yeah, like I'd do that. Not a chance. I turn and run. They're just tourists, foreigners. What do they care if a lone American girl gets lost in the woods at night? Not that I can get lost. This national park has been my home for nearly six months now. I know every inch of it. Well, every inch of this area.

But they do follow me. And they catch up. Somehow one of them ends up in front of me, dropping from a tree. I skid to a halt. "I don't really care what happens to you." The man with the cold voice. "But they do care. And I know it'll be easier for me if I just stop you." His hair is black and spiked. He is shorter than I am. That doesn't happen often. But I obviously cannot outrun him, and I am only human. He is not.

Suddenly two of the others appear. One has dark hair and dark eyes, just like mine. He is laughing. This is all just a game to him. The one they call Yusuke, by the sound of his laugh. The other has bright green eyes. His hair is such a bright red it has to have been dyed. Except…except…he's not human. None of them are. But the one with the red hair is pretending. The other two aren't trying to hide it.

They stop for a moment, taking in my ragged clothes and uncut hair. They glance at my bare feet and scratched arms. They seem as if they can think of nothing to say. Typical reaction.

I glance at the cold one and then at the red one. I'm not sure which is a bigger threat. Physically, the cold one would be more of a challenge to escape. But the red one is not being truthful, not even with his aura. I back up into the nearest tree, keeping my eyes on the red one. The others aren't as much of a threat. They can wait. I drop to a crouch. "Stay away from me."

Confusion crosses the faces of the red one and the one called Yusuke. Suddenly a fourth man barges in. He's taller than any of the others and has very orange hair. "Thanks for waiting up," he tells the others sarcastically. Then he sees me. "What's going on? She looks like a cornered animal."

Great observation. They have me pinned up against a tree. "Hiei stopped her until we caught up," the red one says. "Then she saw us and dropped into that crouch. I don't know what set it off." So the cold one is called Hiei.

The tallest man is human. All human. Thank god. He looks at me once then takes a step forward. He looks at me more closely, then tells the red one, "Sixth sense. That's why you frighten her. It's hard to get used to." The man takes two steps toward me, then crouches down next to me. "They won't hurt you, I swear it." I do not believe you. Get away from me. He sticks out his hand. "I'm Kuwabara."

I look at it. He's human. He is sincere, and he introduced himself. I think I can trust him, at least enough to get me out of this situation. I take his hand, and he pulls me to my feet.

**Kurama POV**

How intelligent, Kuwabara. A sixth sense. That didn't occur to me. I'm so used to humans either not knowing of the otherworldly or being accustomed to it. She is evidently not well acquainted with it.

"I'm Yusuke," Yusuke tells her. "And that would be Hiei." He points to Hiei, who is leaned up against a tree ignoring us.

Before Yusuke can say anything else, I say, "I'm Shuichi." She's human; the only humans who know me as Kurama are those directly involved with Yusuke. Best to keep it that way.

She presses herself up against the tree and glares at me. "If your name is Shuichi, who is Kurama?"

Never mind, then. She already knows. "I'm Kurama," I say. "Shuichi is my human name. You heard all that?"

She glares at me with those dark brown eyes and nods.

"What's your name?" I ask. I want her to know that I have no intention of harming her. Names seem like a good place to start. But she doesn't answer. I add, "We gave you our names."

"I didn't ask for them. And you lied."

Hmmm…she makes a good point. Kuwabara interrupts, "He leads two separate lives. One human, one demon. He prefers that humans don't know his demon name. It's nothing against you."

She nods. She trusts Kuwabara more than the rest of us. Understandable, considering he's the only human. "Anna." Her eyes break away from Kuwabara's face and turn to glare at me once again. It's curious. She only glares at me. She completely ignores Yusuke and Hiei. I don't understand her open enmity. Maybe if it was directed at all three of us. But it seems as if she has completely forgotten about Yusuke and Hiei.

But then Yusuke says, "It's almost dark. We better head back." Hiei is on his feet in an instant. The rest of us turn and start to walk away. Anna doesn't follow. "Aren't you coming with us?" Yusuke asks her.

"No."

"We can't just leave you here," Kuwabara objects. "You could get lost. You could die."

Anna looks at him. "You can leave me here."

"No," I say. "Kuwabara's right. It's too dangerous."

She turns her gaze on me once again. "If you won't leave without me, then I will leave without you. Good luck finding your way back." She sounds completely insincere. Then she turns and scrambles up the tree in a way I was not aware humans could climb.

I look at Yusuke, and he nods. Then he climbs quickly up the tree after her.

**Anna POV**

I've only been in the branches a moment when Yusuke appears next to me. "What do you want?" I ask.

"I just want you to go with us, back to the trail. Then you can go wherever you like, and we'll leave you alone. We just don't want you to get hurt."

"Why do you even care?" No one cares. Not really. They all just pretend, until it no longer suits their purposes. Then they leave.

"Heh heh," he laughs, shrugging. "My morals may be pretty loose, but I can't just stand by and let a pretty girl like you kill herself."

"I heard that Yusuke!" Kuwabara calls from below us. "And I'm telling Yukimura when we get back."

"Whatever. She listens to Kurama more'n she listens to you. He'll vouch for me," Yusuke shouts back. Facing me again, he says, "Well? Come on."

"I'm not killing myself. I know exactly where I am. I've been living out here alone for nearly six months. It's you all who need to worry. This forest changes after dark."

And not just normal changes brought on by a lack of light. Spiritual changes as well. This forest is a nocturnal being. Full of individual creatures in the day, it unifies itself, and the whole thing comes to life at night.

But Yusuke doesn't seem worried. "Kurama can get us out."

"Actually," the liar's voice says, "I don't think I can. When she said the forest changes, she meant it. This is not a normal forest."

I drop from the tree and land in front of him. "I don't really care who you are or how you can tell. But now you see where worrying about someone else gets you. Stuck in a forest full of demons."

"Demons?" he asks, "Where?"

"Not the kind of demons _you_ are," I spit at him. "Those you could handle. The demons in this forest are emotional ones. Your worst memories. This forest draws them out. I don't know how many people I've had to lead out. Some of them go mad. Those memories will find you soon. Mine are already coming to the surface." I hope he is one of the ones who goes mad. Somehow, though, I don't think I'll be that lucky.

"Then why do you stay here?" Yusuke asks me.

"My demons, my ghosts, help me remember why I trust no one. This way. The sooner I lead you out, the sooner I'm rid of you."

**Kurama POV**

She told the truth. She knows this forest. And it does bring forth the memories. All the memories. The worst ones are so strong it feels as though I am actually living them again. It is all I can do to keep my eyes on her back and continue following her. I can tell the others are struggling with it too.

Every once in a while, she flinches away from nothing. She feels the effects of the forest too. But she lives her? Because it helps her remember why she trusts no one? I do not understand. How has she not gone mad? Or is she insane? Are we simply following a madwoman deeper into the forest? We should have reached the path by now.

But she seems to know exactly where she is going. And suddenly we emerge from the trees. She hasn't led us back to the path; she has led us back to the place where the path starts. "Have a nice life." She turns to go back into the forest.

"Wait," I say. She whips around to face me, that glare piercing through me. I feel as if I have done something wrong. "How do you know how to speak Japanese so fluently?"

Her frame relaxes slightly, but her glare remains intact. "My mother grew up in Japan. She made sure I knew her native language as well as English."

"Why don't you come back with us?" Yusuke asks.

"Excuse me?" she says.

"Every night you endure the torments of your past. Why not come back to Japan with us. We're leaving in a few days. Maybe it will help to leave the land you suffered all the hurt in."

She doesn't say anything for a long time. When she does, it is not what I expected. "I don't have any money."

"Not a problem. One plane ticket, food?" Yusuke asks. "We can cover that." I nod.

Then she looks at me, at Hiei, at Kuwabara, at Yusuke. She points at me. "As long as I never have to sit next to him."

What have I done to offend her so badly? It can't possibly be that I lied about my name?

* * *

There we go, chapter one: Called You Up In the Middle of the Night

I only own Anna. Now, to reply to the reviews…

Foxgirl Ray: Well, it makes me happy when a person checks out one of my stories just because I wrote it. Hope this chapter revealed something about Anna.

ShadowFireFox13: Don't you just love irony? Yes, I have every intention of continuing it. Glad you enjoyed the beginning.

Thanks to the two of you who reviewed and also thanks to those of you who added me to any of your lists.


	3. Two

**Like a Firefly Without a Light**

**Anna POV**

Kurama is driving the rental car. They told me it's because he's the oldest, and therefore their parents considered him the most mature. Whatever. I feel as if my life is in more danger now than it was back in the forest. At least I'm given the seat farthest away from him.

As he pulls onto the highway, I catch him glancing back at me in the rearview mirror. "Just watch the road," I snap.

"What a bright little patch of sunshine you are," Yusuke says from two seats over.

"You're the one who invited me to come. You got a problem with me? Then Kurama can just pull this car over and I will walk back home." I cross my arms and slouch down in my seat. No one ever said I always act my age.

"Man, Anna, I was just kidding. No need to take it so personally."

"Whatever." I sit up straight. "You said you're leaving for Japan in a few days. Where are you staying until then?"

"There's a guy who's renting out a furnished garage. It's divided into several rooms. We agreed to rent it for three months. It's pretty nice, and he doesn't charge an exorbitant rate," Kurama answers.

I glare at the back of his head. I can't seem to keep from doing that whenever he opens his mouth. He does seem to comply to my earlier suggestion, though, as he doesn't look at me in the rearview mirror or otherwise. And I still can't keep the suspicion out of my voice. "Do you pick up lonely girls and take them back to your little apartment often?"

"No." Kurama sounds offended. "Never. Not like that. To help them, every once in a while, as we are trying to do for you. But never for the purpose you are suggesting."

I do not feel reassured. I am still one girl in a car with four guys, any one of which could easily overpower me. "Can you give me a real reason not to be worried?"

"I have a feeling the answer is no," Kurama muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap.

"You doubt everything we say. You won't even consider for a moment that it might be true," he snaps right back.

"Reason?" I ask tersely.

He sighs then mutters, "Yusuke and Kuwabara are both so in love that they don't even know how to think about _looking_ at another girl. Well, Yusuke knows how to look but never with any intention beyond annoying Keiko."

"And yourself?" He is the only person I am truly concerned about.

He looks at me. "I would never. And if I did try, Kuwabara wouldn't let me."

"You'd have me believe a human could stop you, a… whatever you are?" I do not trust him. Not at all.

"Kuwabara's got some pretty nice tricks up his sleeve," Yusuke tells me. "And in that scenario, I would be helping Kuwabara. I promise."

I glance at Kuwabara, who has been silent. He is the only one I trust to any extent. "They're alright, Anna, really." Well, maybe. Maybe I can trust them not to hurt me at least. At least not physically. Emotionally… if you get close to someone, you always get hurt.

I am starting to believe Yusuke isn't a bad person. But I don't trust him yet. And I do not like Kurama at all. But if Kuwabara says they're safe… "And Hiei?"

They all glance at the man sleeping in the front seat. Slowly Kurama says, "Hiei…he's dangerous but only because he has a short temper."

"Yeah," hoots Yusuke. "The only girls Hiei speaks to voluntarily are the ones he's about to kill in a fair fight and his sister. And very rarely them!" He laughs again.

**Kurama POV**

Of course, Yusuke doesn't bother to mention the fact that gender has nothing to do with it. Hiei only talks to a very few people outside of his opponents, women or men. And he doesn't seem to care that we're talking about him either. But before I can clarify, Anna asks a question I am not expecting to hear.

"So he's gay?" She is perfectly serious.

After a moment of silence, Yusuke and Kuwabara crack up. I can feel Hiei seething next to me.

"What?" she demands impatiently. "I'm serious." That, of course, only makes them laugh harder. So it's going to be up to me to sort this out. And she already hates me. Great. She probably won't believe me, even on this.

"I would have said you didn't have to worry about Hiei at all," I say loudly so that I can be heard above the laughter. "He didn't really care about you either way. But now you've insulted him. I'd watch your back because Hiei can get violent when he's been insulted."

Suddenly she turns to Yusuke and Kuwabara. "Shut up. It wasn't that funny." They are stopped short by her tone, which is something between annoyance and contempt. "If he's not gay, why doesn't he talk to women?"

She is trying to understand us. She still doesn't trust us. And she's decided that she'll be in the best position she can be in if she knows more about us. "It's not just women," I explain as I pull off of the highway, "Hiei doesn't talk to anyone, if he can avoid it."

She slumps back in her seat. "Smart man."

Great. Thanks Yusuke. This was an absolutely brilliant idea. This is just what we need. She's cynical in the extreme and even more distrustful of everyone's intentions. Another Hiei.

**Anna POV**

Kurama pulls into a long driveway, then up to the garage, which is its own building. Kurama looks at me and says, "You can take your pick of rooms. It's like a small house; all the doors even have locks, and we'll give you the key if it'll make you feel better."

"Not like you couldn't pick the lock in about ten seconds," I mutter.

I see Yusuke glance at him. Then Yusuke says, "In an effort to win your trust, we're not going to lie. Kurama and I could each pick those locks in about _three_ seconds. Hiei wouldn't bother with picking the lock; he'd just burn the door down."

I look at Hiei. "Pyro." It's not a lighthearted joke. I can tell he sees that.

He glares at me. There is something refreshing about being on the receiving end of a glare for once. "Got a problem with it?" he asks and climbs out of the car.

I think I could get along with Hiei quite well. But I don't say that. I have come to the conclusion that Hiei isn't generally considered a very likable person. And Yusuke and Kuwabara will laugh if anyone suggests otherwise. They slide out of the car, but they don't shut the door.

After a moment Yusuke says, "Kuwabara wouldn't steal anything if his life depended on it. He never bothered to learn how to pick a lock."

"So you're saying the only person I am not worried about is the only one who couldn't get into the room easily?" Loaded question. They either lie or give me an answer I obviously don't want to hear.

Yusuke pauses. "Yes," he finally says. He really is trying for the truth then.

"I want the key to the room, and I want Kuwabara to stay in the room with me," I demand.

"Wait, what?" Kuwabara asks.

"You're the only one I trust to any degree. I don't trust you much, but it's still more than I trust any of them." Kurama in particular.

Kuwabara looks slightly confused, but he agrees to my request.

I climb out of the car, and Kurama does the same. I am almost to the door when I hear me name.

**Kurama POV**

"Anna, a moment alone, please." She turns around, glaring. No surprise there, I suppose. Yusuke just shrugs and walks past her, following Kuwabara inside.

She doesn't take a step toward me. She does, however, hiss, "I have nothing to say to you."

"But I have something to say to you," I walk slowly toward her. "And I have several questions."

She glares, tensing. Is me simply walking toward her really enough to make her fight-or-flight instincts kick in? I stop. She doesn't relax. She says, "I do not care."

"Well, please humor me anyway. I want it out in the open, once and for all. I have no intention of harming you."

"I don't believe you." I feel as though her eyes are drilling holes in my head. Who is this girl?

"Which leads me to my first question. Why have you singled me out to distrust the most?"

"You lied. You are The Pretender."

What fire she has. But all of her spirit is filled with such a negative energy. She could give out such light, but instead she chooses to smother her own light as much as she possibly can.

"The pretender?" I ask. She said _the_. There is only one…? And something in her voice said it is capitalized.

"Are we done here?" she asks, ignoring my question.

"No. Why are you so…_afraid_ of people?" Perhaps it's a bit personal, but I need to know.

She takes several angry steps toward me. She's only human, and she's several inches shorter than me, yet the action is still intimidating. I involuntarily take a step back. She spits out her next words. "I am not afraid of people. I simply cannot stand them. They lie, they cheat, they steal." The pause is a long one, and her eyes drill into mine. Does she know I was a thief? But how? "They take what is not theirs to take and give nothing in return."

She is not speaking of physical things. But… I need to know. I normally have more tact than this, but this girl somehow makes me confused. She isn't like anyone I've ever met. Yet she's exactly like them all. "If you're not afraid, why is it you distrust people so much?"

I didn't know it was possible, but her glare intensifies. "I trusted The Pretenders," she mutters.

So there is more than one. But what does she mean? Before I can ask, she has returned to the house. The door slams, the noise echoing in the darkness.

* * *

Once again, I only own Anna. There's chapter two: Like a Firefly Without a Light. Thanks to those of you who added this story to their alerts/favorites

Reviews…

animegrlsteph: Yes... It's weird for people to dislike Kurama that much. Which is one of the things I like about Anna. She's different from everyone else. I hope her reason for not liking him is at least partially explained in this chapter (it will be explained further later).

Foxgirl Ray: Yes, strangeness. But strangeness is good. And her aversion to Kurama... Yeah, that's what I'm getting from everyone. I know perfectly well how odd it is.

ShadowFireFox13: Glad you noticed the connection to Hiei. That's kind of what I was going for. As should be evident from this chapter.


	4. Three

**You Were There Like a Blow Torch Burning**

**Anna POV**

Not fun. Not fun at all. They did as they said, and they got me a ticket, even managing one in the row of sits they are in. Small comfort.

They stuck to their promise. Kuwabara stayed in the room with me each night, and no one tried anything. Not even Kurama. Well, he kept trying to talk to me. I stayed in the place alone during the day, while they got in the last bits of their touristy stuff. That's when I slept. When no one was there. That's the way I like it. Alone.

Not like this. People everywhere. I haven't been around this many people at once in months. Maybe more than a year. I don't really remember.

"Anything I can get you, Miss?" the flight attendant asks. She is a short, blonde woman, slightly chubby, wearing heels that have got to be killing her. They bought me some shoes and new clothes. So I'd look _presentable_. Like I even give a damn what other people think of me.

I don't answer her question, just glower. If I wanted something, I would have signaled her. Overly-helpful people are idiots. Do they think I can't see through their charade? She doesn't care about me. She just doesn't want me to complain about her once we've landed and I've gotten off the plane.

She stands there awkwardly, still waiting for an answer. Does she not get it? Is she really that dense? Before I can voice these sentiments, from next to me, Kuwabara says, "She doesn't need anything. Sorry about her… attitude. She's not in a good mood today."

Once she walks away, I turn to Kuwabara. "What was that for? I do not need to have my attitude defended. Especially not by lies." Lies. Pretenders. It is one thing to not tell everyone everything. It's acceptable to leave out irrelevant information or to flat out tell someone you're not going to tell them. But hiding what's important or, even worse, lying about it, that is not permissible.

"Anna," he sighs. I've been getting the feeling that my temper is wearing on him. Whatever. Not my problem. If I let it become my problem, it means I've formed an attachment to him. And if you form any kind of bond with another person, you're going to get hurt. "I would like to avoid unnecessary conflict, at least until we get back to Japan." Grunting, he stands. "I need the restroom." Why do I get the feeling that he just wants to get away from me? Oh well. That's the least of my problems now.

Within seconds of Kuwabara leaving, Kurama slides past a dozing Hiei and a snoring Yusuke and slips into Kuwabara's seat. A direct violation of their promise.

**Kurama POV**

"What is with you?" she asks, anger pervading every syllable. She has turned as best she can in her seat to face me. She doesn't want her back exposed.

"I just want to speak with you. I just want to understand." That is true. Kuwabara has had a few successful conversations with her, but she never completely drops this defensive attitude. Yusuke gave up speaking to her about three days ago.

But I can't seem to leave well enough alone. I know I _should_. I know that it's far easier to cross the lines she's drawn than the lines normal people find acceptable. I know where the lines should be drawn with a normal person. And I'm still crossing even those. I cannot help myself. She fascinates me. I want to know how someone can have such a fierce, fighting spirit while simultaneously being so pessimistic. Most people need to have some optimism, something to fight for to have that kind of fire. She doesn't seem to have that. She lacks even Hiei's excuse of fighting for the sake of power.

In six days, I haven't seen her smile.

"We've been over this," she replies curtly. I feel certain she would turn away, if not for the fact that she believes I will stab her through the heart if given half the chance. "There is nothing to understand."

"Yes there is. Why are you like this all the time?" The scowl that seems to be permanently fixed on her face doesn't change. There's a surprise. One of the most curious things is that she trusts me least, yet she speaks to me every time I approach her. She just ignores Yusuke and, half the time, Kuwabara.

"Like what?"

"So cold. So… angry. You never smile. It's like you hate the world."

"I _do_ hate the world," she says, no longer whispering in that low, angry hiss she normally uses when speaking to me. "I hate the world. I hate everyone in it."

"Why?" Why can't I just stop talking? How does she draw this behavior out of me? It's rude, and it will only push her away.

"That. Is. None. Of. Your. Business." Each word is separated from the next by a short, terse pause. And with each word she gets a bit louder.

"But couldn't you tell me?" Damn it, Kurama. Why can't I just shut up? Or get up and return to my seat? Where is Kuwabara? He'd make me move, he'd get rid of this weird inability to act as I normally would. To act as I should be acting.

"I could," she snaps. "But I won't." Then she says, quite loudly, "And I've already _told_ you. It's because of all The Pretenders." But she never explained who The Pretenders _are_.

"No need to shout at me," I mutter, moving to return to my seat. But her response makes me freeze.

She jumps to her feet. "I'll shout all I want!" And she is, too. "What do I care if they know I know they're Pretenders! I don't! I don't give a damn about any of them! And I don't freaking care if I accidentally let slip what you are, either!" What, not who. "Just leave me alone, damn it!"

She has attracted everyone's attention by this point. Thankfully, Kuwabara appears and mutters to me, "Nice going." So this is my fault? Well… yes, I suppose. I should have known she'd react like that. I get up.

But before he can usher Anna back into her seat, the flight attendant has come up and asked her, "Could you please keep it down? You're disturbing the other passengers."

And as Kuwabara grabs her arm to pull her into her seat, she says to the stewardess, not quite shouting but still loudly, "Get the hell away from me."

Then she calmly sits down, and her glare burns into the seat in front of her. It takes a long time for all the stares to turn away from us.

I watch her from four seats away. She rarely blinks and never once gives any indication that she is getting tired. As I fall asleep, I realize something.

She never sleeps when other people are near.

* * *

So there we are. We see a bit of Anna's more... belligerent side. Please note: This chapter is a more accurate taste of the kind of language Anna will be using. Just in case anyone is uncomfortable with that. I think it'll be okay, as well as some of the other things that they do later which aren't exactly _good_ ideas, but I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. So that's what's up. The main thing I'm worried about is that the rating guidelines are very vague. In my opinion, it should still be rated T. But it would be bad if someone disagreed and my story or account was in jeopardy because of it. So if at any point you feel this story should be rated M rather than T please take it upon yourself to consider it as such because, in my opinion, some of the things are debatable. I am aware that I am most likely being paranoid, but I would be very upset if my account was terminated because of an inaccurate rating. So there's your overly-cautious warning.

Now the much more fun part of the author's notes. Reviews!

Feistyfilly14: Glad you like it! It's always nice to see new names pop up in reviews. It means more people are reading my story!

animegrlsteph: Yeah, scary. The second one isn't true, btw. And again with the lack of punctuation! You know it drives me mad!

ShadowFireFox13: Glad you find it amusing. However, they're not as opposite as you might think... they just deal with they're problems in _very_ different ways.


	5. Four

**I Was a Key That Could Use a Little Turning**

**Anna POV**

At last. At last. Of course, once we're off the plane there will be even more people. But that's okay for now. It will make it easier to disappear.

Kuwabara looks at me. "Please don't run, Anna. We talked it over the other day while we were out, and we came to the conclusion that the best place for you is at Genkai's."

"Genkai's?" Who is that? And how did he even know what I am planning to do?

"She was Yusuke's teacher. When she died, she left her land and money to us, so we could provide a sanctuary."

"A sanctuary for whom?" Why does he look so nervous?

"Demons." He looks at me. Evidently I don't look too pleased because he quickly adds, "But they're all demons like Yukina." Who? "It's more likely a human will hurt them than the other way around." As we step into the main airport he says, "And outside her temple, there are hundreds of acres of forest."

I freeze. Then I find myself nodding.

"Yukina!" he shouts, disappearing from my side.

I follow him up to a group of girls. He is standing in front of a girl with blue hair. Demon. But, strangely, I don't feel threatened. I feel even less threatened by her than I did by Kuwabara. "You are so beautiful," he says, and she giggles shyly. Something about her reminds me of Hiei… Kuwabara continues, "I missed you."

"Love you too, Kazu," another woman says, thumping him on the head. "My brother comes home after three months, and this is the hello I get? And after I came all the way up here to meet you when you got off the plane?"

"Hi, Shizuru," Kuwabara says weakly.

Hiei doesn't approach any of them, and I hang back with him. I am closest to trusting Kuwabara, but I get along with Hiei the best. He doesn't like to talk either.

Yusuke walks up to two women. "Hey, Ma. Hey, Keiko." Ma? She can't possibly be old enough to be his mother. And the other girl is Keiko. Suddenly, he grabs her butt.

"You pervert!" she screams, slapping him.

He is forced to take a few steps back in order to keep from falling over. Then grinning, he wipes a bit of blood from his lip and says, "I missed you too, Keiko."

Kurama is speaking with a human woman with dark hair. My eyes narrow. That would be his human mother.

Then there's this other chick who can't seem to decide where she wants to be. She keeps hopping back and forth between each group, blue hair flying in every direction. I tense. She isn't human. But she isn't a demon, either. Another Pretender of the Kurama variety? No… I am so confused.

Suddenly she bounces toward me and Hiei. Seeing me, she stops short. "Who's this?" she asks loudly.

Yusuke turns, sees she's talking about me and says, "That's Anna. We found her in a forest full of demons."

"Which I then had to save _you_ from because you wouldn't leave well enough alone," I mutter. Of course he says it to make it look like they saved me. They wish. He doesn't hear me, but the girl does. Confusion crosses her face.

But she doesn't say anything other than, "I'm Botan. Nice to meet you." She sticks out her hand. I do not take it.

Suddenly Kurama appears. Seeing Botan's hand and my obvious reluctance to take it, he sighs. "She's a guide to the River Styx, Anna. A messenger from the Underworld. She isn't just pretending."

She nods cheerfully. Kind of odd behavior for the grim reaper. I carefully shake her hand. Then she bounces off in the other direction.

Then Kurama points to each of them and gives me their name. Why is he being so helpful when he knows how much I hate him? "Keiko." The girl who slapped Yusuke. "Atsuko." Yusuke's mother. "You already met Botan. My mother Shiori." The dark haired woman. "Shizuru." Kuwabara's sister. "Yukina."

Suddenly it clicks. "Is Yukina Hiei's—" I am stopped by Kurama slapping his hand over my mouth. So I do the first thing that comes to mind.

**Kurama POV**

I jerk my hand back. "Ow!" She _bit_ my hand.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Then she takes a breath in an obvious effort to calm herself. "Is she Hiei's—"

"Yes. Just don't say it. Hiei doesn't want her to know." I can tell Hiei isn't happy. "How'd you figure it out." I look at my hand. I'm bleeding. She _drew blood_. My god.

She sees where I'm looking. But she doesn't apologize. Oh, no. "Be thankful I didn't fight back harder. I could tell because of their eyes. Plus, Hiei's been staring at her since we got here. But not like he wants her, like he's protecting her. And their auras aren't the same, but they resonate with one another somehow."

She really put all that together and came up with sister? I'm not quite sure it's safe to have her around. She's unusually observant and extremely cautious, but she gets violent quite easily.

_Six hours later…_

We're finally at Genkai's. That ride wasn't enjoyable. We were all crammed together in a large van Atsuko somehow managed to obtain. I don't think I really want to know the story behind that one. And then we were driving on a mountainous road. Fun. It didn't help that Anna was given the passenger seat where she could have told my mother, who was driving, anything before I had a chance to stop her. And on top of all that, I was stuck in the back with Yusuke, Keiko and Shizuru. Shizuru never once stopped smoking. I don't think I've ever been this close to being carsick in my life.

But we're here now. That's what's important. And this is Shiori's first time at the temple. I can see she's in awe of it. As Yusuke leads us through, he says, "You can take your pick of rooms. Just make sure you don't pick one that's already inhabited. There is a bathroom every five or six doors since this place was built for so many people. The kitchen's down the hall. You're in charge of cooking your own meals, but Genkai's will said her money was to be used to provide food for those staying here. And this," he throws open a set of doors, "is the back porch."

Mom rushes out, looking at the trees, the mountains, the clear blue sky. "It's so beautiful! Why haven't you brought me here before, Shuichi?"

I flinch, thinking that the name will set Anna off. But she doesn't even seem to hear.

She has stopped in the doorway, eyes wide. Then, unexpectedly, she smiles, big and bright and beautiful. She slowly walks across the deck, taking it all in. Then she goes down a flight of steps to reach a forest floor. Shiori follows.

"I don't think we'll see her for a while," I mutter, staring after her.

I hear snickers from behind me. I turn and see Yusuke and Kuwabara trying not to laugh. Hiei has a wicked grin on his face. Atsuko isn't paying attention, which is par for the course, I guess. But all the other girls are smiling. Shizuru blows out smoke, grinning.

"What?" I ask. Why are they all acting like this.

"That's why you wouldn't leave her alone," Yusuke snickers.

"Huh?" What are they talking about?

"I thought you weren't as dense as these two idiots," Shizuru says, indicating her brother and Yusuke who are still laughing at me. "Please don't tell me I'm wrong."

"I don't understand."

"Kurama," Yukina says gently. "Your eyes lit up when she smiled. I've rarely seen your face show such strong joy. And never that kind of joy. You've been watching her with a small, confused smile on your face ever since you got off the plane." I have?

When I don't say anything, Atsuko says, "I thought he was supposed to be the smart one."

Shizuru replies, rolling her eyes, "Me too. But he's acting even more idiotic than Yusuke."

What? In what context are they talking? "Can someone please just tell me what's going on?"

Yusuke and Kuwabara's guffaws get louder when I say this. The girls all shake there heads and sigh. "Kurama…" Botan says with disappointment in her voice. "I thought you, of all people…"

"What?" I demand. I am so confused. And this thing they're doing with not telling me is beginning to get on my nerves.

Hiei jumps off the table he's been sitting on and walks back inside. Over his shoulder he calls, "You're falling in love with her, you moron."

"No I'm—" I begin to object. But I'm stopped by the thought of her long dark hair, her dark piercing eyes, that spirit that could so easily bring happiness if it could just learn to trust. How she sees everything. How she can put two and two together and get the right answer. How she can look at you and make you want to shut up. How every time I see her, I want to ask her questions, know more about her. How I lose focus every time I approach her and start asking questions I have no business asking, acting like a total idiot. How much I actually admire the fight she puts up, even if it generally results in my getting injured because I can't make myself go on the defensive because I might accidentally hurt her. How convincing she can be when she wants to. The upward curve of her lips when she saw the forest. I freeze.

He's right.

* * *

Well, there we go. Let the more interesting part of the story begin.

Foxgirl Ray: Perfectly okay if you don't review every single chapter. Especially when I'm updating this often. (Yes, daily updates are planned until I run out of prewritten chapters, and I've basically been writing two for every one I post, so that could take a while.) I hope the end of this chapter explained the real reason Kurama has for his interest in Anna's reactions. Also... something horrible did happen, but she is also overreacting to some other things that aren't so horrible. As for mental problems... well, it's quite possible Anna has some of those too...

ShadowFireFox13: Very differently. Hard to beat? Quite possibly, if Anna fought in any manner other than defending herself. She's really more into the evasion. Except when Kurama's around... I'm kind of getting the feeling that she enjoys his pain. Not good.

animegrlsteph: The Pretenders. Yes. Who exactly the Pretenders are remains unclear to me, even though I've written through chapter eleven. They are important, but more as a concept than as an actual group of people.


	6. Five

**So Tired That I Couldn't Even Sleep**

_Four months later…_

**Kurama POV**

How is it I have formed such an attachment to someone I only knew for a week? Who I only talked to very little during that time? It doesn't make sense. And yet I find myself making the hour long journey to Genkai's as I have every other day since she walked down those steps and disappeared.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel. I'm worried even though I know that's ridiculous. It's evident she can take care of herself, and she is mentally stronger than almost everyone I've ever met. Even if she is a little insane.

I don't know what it is about her that appeals to me. She's beautiful, sure. But there are lots of beautiful girls out there who can barely make me pay attention when they talk to me. No one has made me seek them out. Maybe it's that she is intelligent too. And she knows about the spirit world. I don't need to hide from her.

But… but just because she's _different_ doesn't mean I should dwell on her like this. It's starting to make Shiori worry. I can't concentrate on my work. But she doesn't care so much about that as she does about the dark circles under my eyes. I can't sleep.

As weird as it sounds, her smile haunts me. The idea that hundreds of acres of uninhabited land—land where she was unlikely to cross paths with another person—could make her so happy… I find it disturbing. It makes me wonder if she was telling the truth when she said she hates the world. But if she did, why does she need to try so hard to distance herself from people?

Then you have to factor in what Hiei said. That I'm… never mind.

I pull up in front of the temple. Shizuru walks out. Other than Yusuke, she was closest to Genkai. She's taken it upon herself to take care of the temple. "She hasn't been here Kurama."

I sigh. "I'll wait anyway. I might as well. I already drove out here. And whether or not I consciously decide to, I'll be back up her two days from now, waiting again."

"You're breaking your own heart, Kurama." The characteristic smoke. Will she never quit?

"She'll come back eventually." Will she? I don't know.

"I don't think she will, Kurama," she replies sadly. "Yusuke and Kazu told me she'd been living in that park alone for six months. They said she didn't exactly care for any of you. She has no reason to come back." After a moment, she continues, "It may be cruel to say this, but you need to hear it. I honestly don't think she'll ever come back from that forest; it's her sanctuary from whatever she's hiding from. And if she does come back, it won't be for long. And it most definitely won't be for you." I flinch, but she carries on mercilessly. Saving someone's emotions has never been her strong point. "I understand she liked you least of all of us. Alone in that forest, there's nothing to change her mind. You're breaking your heart for no good reason."

"She is a good reason." Didn't mean to say that. I've been saying a lot of things like that lately. And I never intend to say them. I never even know I'm thinking them until they've already been said.

Shizuru looks at me. Then she sighs, "Okay. She may be a good enough reason to break your heart, but she isn't good enough to kill yourself over. Because that's what you're doing."

I look at her. What is she talking about? I'm not depressed. Definitely not suicidal. "Kurama, you can't hide the dark circles. You can't hide the hope you have every time you pull up here. You can't hide the heartbreak you feel every time you drive away. You never even had the girl. You need to move on." She's probably right. I don't know how Shizuru got this… wise.

We step out onto the porch where I last saw her. It's where I wait the typical two hours. It's where she never appears.

**Anna POV**

What is he doing here? As if I don't see enough of him in my sleep. He taunts me. Asks me over and over again why I don't smile, why I hate people. He tells me I should go back to the temple. And when I give in to this impulse, he is _always there_.

Normally I just turn and walk away, but this time I hear him arguing with a woman. The chick with the cigarette. What was her name? Shizuru? Keiko? Whatever. It doesn't matter. I hide beneath the porch where they are standing.

"I can't just give up. You know how long it's been? It's been twelve hundred years, Shizuru." So it is Shizuru. "In twelve hundred years no one has ever had this effect on me. Maybe it's what Hiei said, maybe it's—"

Shizuru interrupts him. "Don't kid yourself, Kurama. There is no _maybe_ involved here."

"Whatever," he snaps at her. "I don't care. I give up. I don't care anymore. Twelve hundred years is too long."

Whoa. Wait a second. I did not choose to change locations. No. I will not walk up those stairs. I won't do it. Not with him here. I manage to stop, a small miracle lately.

Then I hear Shizuru say, "Interesting. I was wrong."

"About what?" Exactly my question. He doesn't sound as though he really cares.

"You may be to distressed to realize it, and I may not believe it's my place to say, but I promised. There's a human at the bottom of those steps." I turn and run.

**Kurama POV**

"What?"

"She was here, listening to us."

"How do you know it was her?"

"What other human would approach this temple from the back steps, Kurama?"

I'm down the steps before I can even begin to think about what I'm doing. What do I even intend to do? She knows this forest by now. I control plants, but she still has home field advantage. I stop. She's gone. There is nothing I can do.

Shizuru walks up to me. "This is an interesting wrinkle. I fear it will cause more harm than good. Now you have an excuse for waiting for her."

**Anna POV**

He's waiting for me? I couldn't make myself keep going. Why not? He's so close! Too close! And he's been waiting for me to come back? I don't understand. I don't like him at all. I never even pretended I did.

I slide down the tree I'm leaning against and try to stifle the sobs. But his stupid, sensitive, demonic ears pick it up, or he finally registers my aura. It doesn't really matter which. He runs toward me, and I can't seem to move.

He almost runs past me. Almost. But I'm not that lucky. He sees me and stops. Then he drops to his knees and hugs me. He _hugs_ me. He can't do that.

And I do the first thing that comes to mind. I lift up my right leg, ramming my knee into his chest. Hard. "I thought we already established this," I growl as he wheezes, trying to catch his breath. "You. Do. Not. Touch. Me."

He's managed to get his breath back and glances at his right hand. He picks himself up off the ground and shows me the palm. There is a faint scar. "Yet I can't get you out of my head," he mutters.

"And I can't get you out of mine." Is it my imagination or does he actually look hopeful? "You freaking _haunt_ me. Every night." Not my imagination. His face falls when I say _haunt_. "You keep on telling me to come back, learn to trust people."

Curiosity covers his face. "Why don't you come back then?"

**Kurama POV**

She looks at me as though I'm mad. Maybe I am. But then she asks, "What the hell do you think I'm doing here? I can't seem to make my own freaking decisions anymore. My legs carry me wherever the hell they want to, whether or not I approve. The couple of times I've come back, you've been here, and it's still taken way more effort than it should to walk away."

She's been back but walked away because I was here? I'm not sure if I manage to keep the hurt off of my face or not. "I know what you mean," I mumble. Shizuru is right. Alone, there's nothing to change her opinion of me. Nothing at all. Then a question rises to the surface of my mind, and it's escaped before I can stop it. "Who are The Pretenders?"

She sighs then mutters, "People who pretend for the whole world they are something they are not. People who pretend that they care when they really don't." She looks dejected.

What made her like this? Don't ask it, Kurama, don't ask it. "Why don't you come up to the temple?" Thank god; that question is acceptable.

She rolls her eyes and stands. "Whatever. My feet'll do what they want anyway, and they seem to want to go inside. It's not like my day can get much worse."

* * *

Well, since I haven't said it in a while, I only own Anna. I don't really know why it took so much writing to get what amounts to a rather small amount of information, but that's what happened. As for the time lapse, this story is about Kurama and Anna. What's the point of going into a lot of detail about the time they're not together? So please don't ask about that in the reviews. All you really need to know about those months has already been said. I have no intention of elaborating. At least not any time soon. Sorry.


	7. Six

**So Many Secrets I Couldn't Keep**

**Kurama POV**

Her day can't get worse? Is that because she can't control her own actions? Or because she saw me? I have a sick feeling it's the latter.

She walks back toward the house with a certainty I couldn't have felt at the direction. I don't understand how she doesn't get lost.

Shizuru is waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. "Hello Anna." Anna nods, the closest thing to a sincere greeting I've seen her give. I see that Shizuru is staring at me. "You need to look at yourself, Kurama, really look. Try to see past the basic features. You running after her was not a good idea. In less than ten minutes, she's already hurt you. This will only end in heartbreak for you." For me. Not Anna. I don't respond. Shizuru shakes her head and turns to walk back up the steps, muttering, "And you're so far gone there's nothing I can say to make you see that."

Anna has her head tilted to one side. "Heartbreak?" I hear her ask herself. "The waiting?" Then she shrugs and follows Shizuru up the stairs. How can she have enough strength to walk up stairs that quickly? She's been living off of who knows what for ten months, with only a week-long break for real food.

And the shoes and socks we bought her are gone. Her clothes are torn again. What is with her? What makes her more willing to live like that than to live with other people?

"Get up here," she suddenly calls. "I know you're going to ask questions anyway, and honestly I'll be more comfortable when you're where I can see you. Although I reserve the right to pass on any or all of the questions." Was that an invitation to ask questions?

I hurry up to her. Something not too threatening to start with… "What's your name? Your full name?"

"Anna."

"I said full name," I repeat, startled by her definitive answer.

"I know. I gave up my middle and last names when I ran away."

That's the first real reference she's made to her past, other than the random comments about where she learned Japanese and The Pretenders. The first comment that truly elaborates on where her hurt comes from.

"Ran away?" I ask.

"Pass." I guess her answering that question was too much to hope for. Particularly considering she won't even meet my eyes.

"Where were you born?"

"America."

So vague. "City? State?" America doesn't necessarily mean the US.

"Pass." Whoa. She is avoiding her past that much?

Something more recent then. "What have you been doing since I last saw you?"

"Surviving." Okay. I guess that answer shouldn't be surprising. She keeps opening and shutting doors. What is she looking for?

"How old are you?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"You don't know?" How can you not know your own age?

"I haven't been around people for a long time. I can tell a rough passage of time by the moon. But eventually I lose track. Age is unimportant. The passage of time is immaterial. Time is nothing more than a human construct. When there are no people, it loses all meaning beyond the fact that seasons come and seasons go. And human nature doesn't change anyway, no matter how long you give it. The forest we met in wasn't the first you know." She opens a door, takes a few steps in, looks around and walks back out, closing the door behind her.

Human nature doesn't change. Not as a whole, maybe, but individuals can change. It's interesting the snippets she reveals when she's not really paying attention. But if I pursue that line of questioning, I know she'll clam up. "If I tell you the date, will you tell me your age?"

She sighs. "I suppose. Although I don't know why you care. And you should know that I am perfectly aware of everything I am saying. You won't be able to trick anything out of me." So she is paying attention. She even guessed what I was thinking, while hardly looking at me. I'm not sure if that is interesting or unnerving.

I just tell her the date. "It's June 16, 2010."

She frowns. "It's been longer than I thought. It's been two and a half years." She enters another room, looks around then faces me. "Goodbye." It's slightly sarcastic but mostly dismissive. Her meaning is evident. It's time for me to leave.

"You never told me how old you are."

She takes me by the shoulders, spins me around and shoves me out the door. "Nineteen." The door snaps shut.

And I am left wondering why all I can think of is the way her hands felt on my shoulders.

**Anna POV**

What is he doing? He's just standing there, outside my door. He doesn't make another attempt to talk to me, but he won't leave either. Oh well. I can wait. He'll have to go home eventually.

What did Shizuru mean when she warned him about heartbreak? Is he… oh god no. If that were true, I might have to kill myself. And I was under the impression that everyone thinks he's the smartest of the lot. They're wrong, of course. He's too willing to get close to people. Hiei is the most intelligent.

Eventually he does walk away. I get up off the bed and leave the room, locking the door with the key that was hanging on the handle.

It doesn't take me long to find Shizuru, smoking in the kitchen. "What do you need, Anna?"

"Just some clothes. I don't need to keep them, but I don't want to shower then put these back on." I pluck at the clothes I am currently wearing, and Shizuru nods. How I hate asking her for help.

"No problem. But you can keep'em. They're just the ones the boys bought you in the US. They left'em here with me in case you ever came back." In case? It's interesting how convinced she seemed to be that I wouldn't be back. Of course, I thought the same thing, yet here I am. She pulls a suitcase from the closet in the hall and hands it to me. "Toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, all that good stuff is in the bathrooms. Need anything else, let me know."

I nod, but she's already on her way back to the kitchen.

I climb into the shower in the bathroom nearest the room I picked out and turn it on full blast. I always forget how amazing it is to shower in hot water. Washing in a cold stream is more refreshing, perhaps, but there is just something about hot water… It takes a while to get all the grime off. It's been months since I washed with soap. It feels odd to nod wash with my clothes on, which is what I normally do. It helps wash them.

I stand under the water until I feel like I'm about to pass out from the heat. Then I turn off the water, dress and return to the kitchen.

Shizuru is still there, still smoking, still looking bored. Does she ever stop with the cigarettes? I raise my eyebrows. She smiles. "Food's in the pantry. It's good to see you alive." Alive? Who does she think I am? It's good to see me? She hardly knows me. Why would she care?

I fix myself a bowl of cereal. Milk is the one thing I miss when I'm out there. Cows don't live in the forest. I can find fruits, roots, sometimes vegetables… I can make a decent bow and kill rabbits and whatnot. Food is never a problem. But I do miss the milk.

I eat the cereal quietly as Shizuru watches me from the other side of the table. She evidently has nothing better to do. "How many people are staying here?"

"Right now?" she asks. She thinks a moment then says, "Including you, thirteen I think. We have room for a lot more, but it never seems to be needed. A lot of them just stay in the forest like you."

"I noticed," I mutter. I did meet several demons while I was out there. But Kuwabara was right. None of them tried to hurt me. Most of them were like spiders. You know, they're more scared of you than you are of them. Should I? Do I even want to know? "How often is he up here?"

"Every other day." That often? What is going on here?

"You said heartbreak."

Shizuru sighs, sitting up straight. "He's waiting for you. I'm sure you gathered that. He always shows up hopeful and leaves hopeless. Seeing you… it just makes all that worse. And what I've heard from the boys, you're going to disappear into that forest again soon. And then he'll wait. He's going to wait until you give in. He's stubborn like that." She shakes her head. It makes her sad. He's her friend.

I stare at her. "I won't give in." I'm stubborn too. And I won't get close to anyone again. I've been hurt so many times. It hurts so much. I put my spoon down.

"I know you won't," Shizuru says. "That's what I keep telling him. You never gave him any indication that you liked him. Nothing to suggest you were even willing to tolerate him. Maybe you gave him the opposite. That's what I keep saying. It's not you who's breaking his heart; he's doing that to himself." She sighed.

"I wish he'd just leave me alone," I mutter. "He keeps asking questions he has no business asking."

"You have secrets too, eh?"

I nod. "You?" Not that I particularly care. It just seems like the right thing to say.

"Of course," she says. "Everyone has secrets. Mine aren't as tightly kept as his, though. If you want him to quit asking about your past, it might help to ask about his."

"And if he actually answers because he's deluded himself into thinking I actually care?"

She takes a drag on the cigarette then puts it out. She blows out the smoke, thinking over my question. "There is that downside."

I stand. I go to the sink and wash the bowl. "I'm going to bed." Like she even cares what I do when. Like it's even any of her business.

"Mm-kay. Goodnight. Tomorrow's Saturday."

"So?"

"They all come up here on Saturdays. All day long."

Brilliant. Wonderful. Absolutely peachy. "What do you mean by _all_?"

"Yusuke, Kazu, Kurama, Keiko, Yukina, Atsuko… They usually drag Hiei along. Most Saturdays Chu, Link, Suzuki, Jin and Toya show up. You haven't met them. Sometimes Koto, Juri and Ruka. You don't know them either… that's the central gang. There are others who drop by once in a while. And most of the demons who live here end up joining in too because this place turns into Party Hill. Food, booze, smokes, you name it, we got it. And by all day, I mean they show up about four in the afternoon and don't leave until well after midnight. If they leave at all. You're welcome to join in." She sounds sincere. How odd.

But a party every Saturday? That's spiffy. Just fabulous. "Thanks for the warning." Then I add, if a bit bitterly, "And the invitation."

* * *

Okay, as always, I only own Anna. WARNING: as you may have guessed from the second to last paragraphs, the next chapter is one of the reasons I'm on the line on whether this story should be T or M. As I said last time, I still think T, but as that is merely my personal opinion, I cannot be held responsible if any of you guys disagree with me...

Foxgirl Ray: You have no idea how semi-real this is going to get. I was writing this chapter, and I thought it was okay as far as believability goes (as in no less believable than the actual story). Then I get to some of the later chapters, and Kurama, at least, begins thinking in ways that make him seem more real than fiction. Sorry if that confused you. I typed it and I'm now a bit confused.

animegrlsteph: glad it reminds you of me. The other day my sister and I realized that if you put Anna and Kiyoshi and Ella together you get me. _smacks forehead_

Kiara3rayerayepoo: It's nice to see new reviewers pop up! You're right... I don't have a choice. This story is far too easy to write for me to be able to stop and I love you guys too much to disappoint. Anyway... Anna's cynisism is great, but I do not know how long it will last. As you may have guessed, she's very... conflicted. Was this update soon enough for you?


	8. Seven

**Promised Myself I Wouldn't Weep**

**Anna POV**

I don't get it! It takes all of the self-control I possess to walk calmly back to my room and shut the door before I start crying. I don't cry in front of people. It's a sign of weakness. But the moment the door is locked, the tears well up and pour out.

I don't understand. I don't even like him. The others are okay I guess, but he is so obviously a Pretender. Shiori _trusts_ him with all her heart, I could see that. And all he does is lie to her. Why do I even care? I don't! I don't. I don't…do I?

No, Anna! Stop thinking like that. It'll only get you hurt again.

Tears still clouding my vision, I stumble to the bed and fall into the pillow, sleep a blessed escape.

**Kurama POV**

I get home and immediately go to my computer. The internet is a marvelous thing. You can find anything if you know where to look. I search for missing persons in the US. This'll work as long as she was actually reported missing.

An official-looking link comes up, and I click on it. I find a search that goes through all the names they have. I type in her name. The list dwindles drastically. Only five people with the name Anna have gone missing in the last twenty years.

There she is. I click on her picture, and it takes me to a page with all the basic info. She looks a bit happier in that picture than how I've seen her. But not by much. Her name is Anna Lynn Matthews. She was born October 19, 1990. She disappeared November 27, 2007 at the age of seventeen from a town in Alabama. I see the contact number. Is it bad that I'm not tempted to call it? Her parents are probably worried, still hoping she'll come back.

There is a bit of personal information on the side. Just a list of people she might try to contact. She has an older brother. And she was a foster kid. Her foster parents are the ones she might try to contact. I guess they assume that, at her age, she was kidnapped.

Nothing else. Just her dark brown eyes, almost happy, staring at me from the screen.

I'm the best at breaking codes and stealing treasure. I spent years, centuries, doing it. So when Shuichi's schoolwork was too easy, I spent the extra time learning a new form of code-breaking: computer hacking. God help Shiori with a son like me.

Actually, computer hacking is quite difficult, given that it isn't fortified spiritually. But it still isn't hard enough that I can't get in. I'm the master at things like this, as much as I hate to say it now. But because of that, I can get into anything, any file. From anywhere.

Social services. Never tried this before. There are going to be so many firewalls. Government files are fiercely protected. I'm just glad the file of a foster child and missing person won't be considered a matter of national security. It won't be guarded as closely as some things. Not that it matters. I know hacking is illegal. But for years I lived on crime, almost breathed it. And all I want now is to know more about Anna.

**Anna POV**

I wake up and can't go back to sleep. I can't stop thinking about him. And the thing I keep thinking to myself is _maybe he's not as bad of a person as you think he is_. I can't keep thinking that. If I do, I'll just get hurt. I can't take that again.

And he is that bad. I know he is. He's a Pretender. And even if his heart isn't bad… well that would make it all worse. The nice people hurt you the most. Because they never mean to hurt you.

Dawn. I go down to the kitchen. I make myself oatmeal. Then toast. Cereal. A bagel. Why am I so hungry? Whatever.

**Kurama POV**

There it is. For eight hours my fingers have been flying over the keyboards. And there it is. The biggest question here is how I managed to access it in only eight hours. Part of it is that I was right in saying Social Services is less protected than some other things I might have wanted to access.

I read through it quickly. Her parents. Mom ran away. Dad died, was murdered. Put into the system. Foster parents after foster parents. One last set. She was with them for nearly two years. A note that she disappeared. Then a whole separate file on how she evidently was seeing a psychiatrist from the age of fourteen when her dad was murdered to the time she ran. I'm torn between looking at it or not.

My computer makes up my mind for me. A red light indicates we've been detected. Crap. Hands flying, I leaving, doing my best to erase the trail as I disappear into cyberspace. No guarantees, but I'm fairly certain I got out clean.

I sit back in my chair. I am exhausted, but I won't be able to fall asleep. I'm too torn by emotions right now. I'm happy I know more about Anna. But I'm ashamed. Not that I did something this illegal while acting as Shuichi, but that I did this behind her back.

**Anna POV**

Shizuru walks across the kitchen, box of cereal in one hand and a magazine in the other. It's eight o'clock. Looking at all I've eaten she asks, "Man, how do you find enough to eat out there?"

I just shrug. Actually, I don't normally eat this much.

I go to my room and get dressed. Then I brush my hair and teeth. I just hang out in my room until I start getting hungry again.

When I return to the kitchen it's already half past four. How long did I sit there with my brain turned off? The kitchen is filled with noise. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei have arrived. Yusuke and Kuwabara are shouting at Shizuru who is ignoring them and arguing with Kurama. I hear my name several times.

I guess the others will come later. Then I hear the name Matthews. He didn't. If he did, I will kill him. I let out a small noise of surprise. Yusuke turns around and calls out, "Anna!" He heads toward me, but I'm already halfway across the room, doing the first and only thing that makes any sense.

* * *

Okay, I lied. I obviously don't know what chapter is what. It is the _next_ chapter that has me on the fence for the T vs. M debate. My bad. But I checked this time. It's definitely the next chapter. Well, hope you didn't mind Kurama's rather unorthodox behavior in this chapter. I know it is a bit OOC, but what can I say? Anna has that effect on people. Anyway... I only own Anna. On to the review.

Foxgirl Ray: I'm glad you find it entertaining that it's the opposite, but I have to be honest. I didn't do it on purpose. That's just how it happened. I may have said this to you before, but I honestly don't think I have any control over the stories beyond word choice. Most characters... the random people in my head (such as Kiyoshi) write them. But with occasional characters (Kiyoshi himself in 1 Dead, 3 Missing, Ella from FATE, Zuberi from A Past To Be Forgotten (I haven't posted that chapter yet, don't get confused), DEFINITELY Anna), they write themselves. No consent from me, or Kiyoshi, or anyone else who exists or doesn't exist. They just... are. And that is the reason I feel characters in books are real. Not real in the same way as we are, maybe, but real nonetheless. You cannot think of something and have it not exist; it may not exist beyond paper or even an idea but it is there. And that is why this story is coming so quickly; Anna exists more strongly than most characters. She writes herself the way she wants to. I don't need to try to think up ideas for it, it just comes. Anna is currently fighting with Kiyoshi to become the easiest character I have ever written. She definitely took on a life of her own far sooner than he did... Sorry for the long-winded response. You never know what's going to come spewing out when you hand me a keyboard.


	9. Eight

**One More Promise I Couldn't Keep**

**Kurama POV**

Yusuke says her name, and I spin around. My eyes lock on her face as she rushes toward me. For one blissful half second I think she's excited, if not happy, to see me. Then her palm makes forceful contact with my face.

I reel backward. What? "What was that for?" Now I know how Yusuke feels when Keiko slaps him. I even have the bloody lip to prove it. I can feel the space just beneath my eye begin to swell. That'll be fun to explain to Shiori.

"I heard the name Matthews. If it's just a coincidence I will apologize, and we will never mention this again." She glares at me, and it's all I can do not to flinch back. "Too bad we both know it's not a coincidence."

"She knows, Kurama," Shizuru mutters. "Best to cut your losses and own up." She turns to Anna. "I was telling him he was wrong, Anna. I'm not involved in this." She walks away. Anna doesn't look sure if she should believe Shizuru or not.

But she's telling the truth. I dragged her into it. I told her because I felt bad about going behind Anna's back. And Shizuru didn't approve. She may not seem like it, but she's a fairly moral person. Not the most moral I've ever met… but she's more moral than I ever was, at least.

I shuffle my feet and try to meet her eyes. All I can think to say is, "She really wasn't involved, Anna."

"You bastard," she hisses, shaking in anger. "What did you find out?"

"Your name, your birthday, where you're from, when you went missing." Hopefully that's enough to get her to drop it.

"What else?" Of course I'm not that lucky. I suppose I deserve that.

"That you were a foster child. That you have an older brother."

"What else?" It's like she already knows and is forcing me to say it.

"You were shuffled from home to home after your mother ran and your father was murdered." I wince. I've got to say it. She'll find out eventually. Might as well get it over with. "You were seeing a psychiatrist."

She purses her lips. It seems to be all she can do just to control herself. Finally she says in a very curt voice, "You don't know the half of it. Where's Hiei?"

"Probably off in some corner of the main room. He'll stay there until we all leave." I'm just thankful she didn't get angrier than she did. She turns on her heel and stalks away without another word.

**Anna POV**

I find Hiei and sit down next to him. Soon Botan, Keiko, Atsuko and Yukina show up, along with three girls I don't recognize. Koto, Juri and Ruka, I assume.

Then a group of five guys walks in. I'm guessing these are the others Shizuru mentioned, as they seem familiar with the place. One of them is already drunk. And one of them is just a kid. Well that's how he looks at least. They're all demons.

Some of the others emerge from their rooms and the party begins. Like Shizuru said, food, smokes, booze. It's all here.

Hiei and I just sit in silence waiting for it to be over. I listen to the conversations going on around me.

One of the demons asks, "Who's dat, Yusuke?"

"Huh?"

"Her." The man points at me. He's very light on his feet.

Yusuke glances at me. "Anna."

"Why isn't she joinin' in? Why's she just hangin' wi' Hiei?"

"Kurama did something he had no business doing, and it made her angry and rightly so. And she already hated him." At least one person's got this picture right.

I stand and find a cooler. I pull out a beer. No one's ever accused me of making good decisions. I don't want to go back to my room. And this might help me escape this nightmare.

_Six hours later (eleven o'clock that night)…_

**Kurama POV**

She's still sitting in that corner with Hiei. It's like she's imitating him or something. Except Hiei doesn't drink. She's been drinking since everyone got here. Fairly quickly she just faded into the background.

I hope it's been long enough. I walk up to her and reach for the beer she's got clutched in her hand. She pulls it away from me. "Get your own." She doesn't sound drunk. At least, her words aren't slurred. She adds, "And stay away from me."

So she's one of those people who gets quiet and angry rather than loud and ridiculous. "How many have you had?" I ask. I reach for the can again. She drains it then lets me have it.

"Lost count. Whadda you care?"

"I don't want you to get hurt," I say sharply. I turn to Hiei. He'll know even if he wasn't really paying attention. "Hiei? How many?"

"That was number thirteen."

_Thirteen_? How is she not passed out or puking? Sure she's been drinking them over the course of six hours, but that's still a little over two an hour. Easily enough to get trashed on. An adult man can get drunk off of one beer an hour. And she's a teenager. A small one. Atsuko generally gets to around twenty before passing out, but she's an alcoholic. She has a much higher tolerance than Anna. Unless… but she's always in that forest. She doesn't have access to alcohol.

"Ain't illegal to eat fruit," she mutters. What? "You know what you're lookin' for and fermented fruit ain't that dangerous. Alcohol levels can be higher than those in beer."

She's drunk, and she still knows what I'm thinking. Unbelievable.

I set the can on a nearby table. She is sitting on the ground. I take her hands and start to pull her to her feet. Then she kicks me in the shins. Her eyes are a bit glassy when she looks at me. "Told you not to touch me."

My lip is still puffy from earlier, and now I'll have a bruise. Oh well. I lean over, directly disobeying her request. I slip my right hand under her knee and my left hand behind her shoulders. Then I pick her up and carry her to her room. She fights the whole way. And it _hurts_.

I dumber her on her bed because I know she'll want me gone as soon as possible. And dropping her is quicker—and easier, the way she's fighting—than placing her on the mattress gently. "Go to sleep."

As I reach the door she mumbles. "Thanks for stopping me." I guarantee she only said it because she's drunk. Then she continues, eyes closed, "I didn't really want to die, you know. I promised Dad I'd live. But it all seemed like to much."

I stop. "What?"

"You know. It's too much for a fifteen year old to handle." Fifteen? She's reliving something. She isn't talking to me. "My mom is gone, my dad is dead. Jake… he doesn't care about me like he did before all that happened. The pills just seemed like such an easy way out."

Who's Jake? Her brother, I think. And pills? Is that why she was seeing a psychiatrist? Drug problems… no. It didn't sound like a continuous thing. Just once. A suicide attempt.

I turn off the light and walk back to the main room before she can say anything else. I grab a beer.

"Kurama…" Juri says. Everyone knows I don't drink. But what I heard. God.

"Shut up," I mutter, taking a drink. I hate the taste. How can they drink so much so often? I don't get it. "I need this. And I've made enough stupid decisions in the last two days as it is. One more isn't going to kill me."

I drink the beer. Everything's a bit cloudy. Good. I sit on the couch until I fall asleep.

* * *

Well... yes. There is the chapter that was causing me a bit of distress... If you find the alcohol levels ridiculous or otherwise wrong... deal with it. I just made something up. And I'm fairly certain Anna is turning into a bad influence... Not that the others are that great either...

animegrlsteph: yes... trusting them would probably help her. Unfortunately, she doesn't see it that way. And when she does start trusting them... well in this chapter she says 'no one's ever accused me of making good decisions' Well, as bad as her decisions are now, when she starts trusting them, her decision-making skills decline. Anna is truly a moron.


	10. Nine

**It Seems No One Can Help Me Now**

**Anna POV**

Oh, my head. What happened? Oh yeah, I got drunk. Then… Kurama stopped me and brought me back here…at least I think it was Kurama…I remember throwing a lot of punches. Punches? It was definitely Kurama.

I stumble down the hall. Keiko and Yukina and Botan are all there in the kitchen, cooking. I stop. Why is it so _bright_? It hurts. I put my hand to my head and cover my eyes. Then Botan sees me, "Anna! You're up already. Most of them are still passed out."

"Oh. You got any pain killers?" My _head_.

"You're kidding me, right?" Keiko asks. "With this many people getting drunk in the house so often, we don't keep any drugs here. But Yukina can help, and I'm almost done with one of Genkai's home remedies. It works wonders."

I nod and sit down. Yukina comes over and places her hands on my face. A cooling sensation spreads through my head. That's better. It still hurts but not so much. I can think a bit more clearly. "You said most of them. Who else is up?"

"Well the three of us," Botan answers. "Koto, Juri and Ruka just left. Hiei doesn't drink, so he's around somewhere. And then Kurama because he only had one. Which was odd because he never drinks. But the rest of them are still passed out." So Kurama's Mr. Responsible now?

"How many did I have?" Way too many, that's all I know.

Botan thinks, then says, "Kurama said Hiei counted thirteen."

"Thirteen." No wonder I feel like crap. "Never drank that much in one night before."

"No worries." Botan smiles. "Most of the boys got through close to that many." Close to. But not that many. Nice going, Anna. They're going to think you're a drunk. Botan continues, "And Chu showed up drunk and put away at least fifteen before he collapsed. Then Atsuko got halfway through number twenty three before she went out. She got so close to her record." Never mind. I feel a bit better.

"Yes. You're all idiots," Keiko mutters. "The three of us tried to keep these impromptu parties to a minimum. Then we gave up and decided just to make sure there is food and a hangover remedy whenever everyone wakes up." She sets a cup in front of me.

"Thanks." They all freeze. "What?" I ask.

Then Yukina says quietly, "You have never before said anything like that so sincerely, Anna. It simply took us by surprise."

Oh, that's all. Whatever. I drink it. Oh, that helps. I don't even care how it helps or why it helps so fast. "How'd I get back to my room?" I'm fairly certain I know, but I hope it's not true. Better to verify before I get upset.

"Kurama carried you. I don't know how he avoided dropping you, the way you were fighting."

I remember the fighting. And unfortunately I was right in thinking it was Kurama I was attempting to fight off. "I say anything?" That's why I should really avoid getting drunk around other people. I may get quiet, but then my filter disappears.

"Just things like 'Don't touch me!' and 'Put me down!'" Botan replies. Good. Wasn't as bad as it could have been.

**Kurama POV**

I walk in and find Anna talking to the girls. She tenses. "Good morning, Anna." She turns and nods stiffly in my direction. Two days and her people skills are already improving.

I wish I could, but I don't think it's a wise idea to pretend I didn't hear what she said. I'll say something that'll tip her off sooner or later. As perceptive as she is and the way I can't seem to control my mouth around her makes me guess sooner. And I don't want her to be angry for not telling her. "Anna? Can I speak with you alone?"

"No. You can say anything you want to say in here."

But she'll kill me if I do. "I don't think you want me to. It's about some things you said last night."

Her face freezes, but she gets up and leads me out of the room. In the hall, she faces me. In an emotionless voice, she asks, "What did I say?"

"You mentioned your mom and your dad. You said your brother's name." Her face remains expressionless. "You mentioned not really wanting to die. You said, 'The pills just seemed like such an easy choice.'" Nothing. No reaction. She knew it was likely she said something like this. There! An emotion. But it's not rage, not horror, not sadness, not even embarrassment. It's confusion.

Now I'm confused. What does she have to be confused about? She asks me, "Why'd you tell me? You could have pretended you hadn't heard. But you risked my anger instead."

"You would have found anyway. And I want you to trust me."

Her confusion only increases. "Why is my trust so… _important_ to you?"

"I don't know." Then before I can stop myself, "Probably for the same reason that the others say I'm falling in love with you."

She looks at me. "You're an idiot." She walks back toward the kitchen, adding, "And they say you're the smart one." It contains more than a hint of sarcasm.

I walk back to the main room where bodies are strewn everywhere. Of all reactions, confusion was the last one I expected. Except for maybe happiness.

**Anna POV**

Entering the kitchen, I sit back down and cradle my mug in my hands. I hear myself say, "Kurama says you all think he's falling in love with me. Why?"

Keiko and Botan stand there awkwardly, but Yukina doesn't so much as blink before answering. "He is always so happy when he's around you, Anna. Even when you're beating on him. And he worries about you so much."

He worries about me? No! He's not allowed to do that to me! It's not fair! I stand and without thinking throw the empty ceramic cup to the tiled floor. With a loud crash, it shatters.

I am instantly on the floor picking up the pieces. Yukina joins me. No, Anna. You can't cry. It shows weakness. It's weak.

But this time I can't help myself.

Then Kurama runs in. "What happened?" he asks startled. Seeing it's only a broken cup, he crouches down and begins picking up pieces. Then he sees my tears. Why is it always him who sees me when I'm crying? "Are you okay, Anna?"

I drop the pieces I'm holding. "Just leave me alone!" I race back to my room.

**Kurama POV**

"What did I say?" I'm bewildered. Normally she'd snap at me or hit me. What's different about this time?

"She doesn't hate you, Kurama," Keiko says simply, as though it answers everything when in reality it doesn't answer anything.

"Yes she does." Or else she's doing a damn good job of acting like she does.

Botan sighs. "No, Kurama. She just wishes she did which is why her hate seems so real. But she doesn't, not really. And it scares her."

"But she doesn't act like she hates you guys this much." She's still terse with them, sure, but not the way she is with me.

Keiko glances at Botan. "Love turns everyone into fools."

Huh? Botan replies, "Like you're one to talk, Keiko." Keiko blushes, and Botan turns to me. "You're blind to more than what's on the surface. You're worried she won't ever feel anything for you. So you can't see she doesn't really hate you. But the fact that she doesn't hate you means one of two things. Either she's just singled you out for some reason based in her past or…" She trails off.

"Or?" I ask.

Keiko finishes, "Or she has to try harder to dislike you because she feels something towards you that she doesn't feel for the rest of us."

* * *

Well, as you know I only own Anna.

ViolentAlice: Yeah, I do not like those stories. And evidently, Anna and my muse/the person in my head don't like them either because they're the two people writing this story. Glad you like the story the way it is. And I hope you enjoy Anna's... stupidity in the coming chapters.

animegrlsteph: she doesn't do anything different when she's drunk... well, she says things she shouldn't. But you haven't seen her REALLY drunk yet. like, to the point where half a drink more and she'll collapse where she stands. Yeah, then she does some things she would definitely NOT be doing otherwise. And that is truly entertaining. Especially Kurama's response to it. :)


	11. Ten

**I'm In Too Deep, There's No Way Out**

**Anna POV**

This isn't right. This isn't supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to let anyone get close to me. I tried so hard, but Kurama still got in somehow. But why? Of the group, he's the biggest Pretender! It shouldn't be hard to hate him! But it is hard to hate him. It's so hard. I have to work at it. I didn't the first few days, but after that…

I put my head to my knees. What is wrong with me?

He knocks on my door. "Go away."

"I just want to talk."

"Well I don't."

"We need to talk, Anna. Something's going on, and we can't just keep avoiding it."

Oh yes we can. "Go away."

"I'm not leaving until I've talked to you even if it means I have to pick this lock," he threatens.

"Start picking," I snap. It should be so _easy_ to hate him when he says and does things like that. Why am I finding it so difficult?

**Kurama POV**

"I'm coming in now," I warn her. She doesn't respond. I pull a seed from my hair. A small plant grows from it, and I move to pick the lock. But the plant won't go into the keyhole.

I check the lock more closely. She's fortified it with spiritual energy. She's hiding more from us than I thought. She never mentioned skills like this. It could explain why it's so easy for her to live in the forest. While not much good in a fight, I think, it would be very beneficial for evasion and self-preservation. But why can't I get through? She's still human.

"Thought you were coming in," she taunts.

"I can't pick this lock," I reply.

"Why not?" she sounds… uninterested.

"You won't let me."

Silence. Then the lock clicks. She doesn't get up, but it still unlocks. She wants me to come in. It's impressive she can do it from a distance. I open the door. "What do you mean?" she asks.

"You reinforced the lock with aura." Aura. That's it. Aura is simply a word, meaning a person's strength of spirit. I'm a good fighter, but that doesn't mean my spirit is stronger than hers. Demons are typically better at controlling it, but that doesn't mean humans can't be just as strong. But why haven't I sensed her aura field before? It's next to impossible to make such a thing undetectable.

She looks at me. "No I didn't." She isn't lying. I can see that. She's almost as confused by my words as I am by what she's done.

Which means she was doing it unintentionally. That would be why. Strength is generally based on how much aura an individual can control; the huge amounts of aura many people possess which is not controlled... that kind of strength of spirit is often entirely discounted because it is no good in a fight. I knew her spirit was strong, but a strong spirit doesn't generally affect the environment unless given a conscious order to do so. How odd.

"What's so important?" she asks. Her eyes are red, but she is no longer crying.

"We need to talk about us." The moment the words leave my mouth, I know I've worded it wrong.

"There is no us."

I sigh. "I know. But, good or bad, there's something going on between us. There's no point in ignoring it."

"Whatever. You start." She still won't open up to me. How can I fall in love with someone I know almost nothing about? Honestly, though, it doesn't matter. Shizuru was right; I'm too far gone.

Might as well quit pretending. "I'm giving up, Anna. I'm going to stop trying to convince myself I'm not in love with you."

She stares at me. "Shizuru's right. You're just going to get hurt."

"Well there's not much I can do to make myself not love you…but maybe I can make you love me." I pull another seed out. "Watch." Soon a single rose blooms in my hand. I reach out to hand it to her. She refuses to take it.

"No," she says. At least she doesn't pretend it's possible simply to spare my feelings. Not that I expected her to. What you see is what you get. She doesn't… pretend.

I go to leave. At the door I turn to her and say, "I am not just pretending to love you, Anna. But you are pretending." Shock covers her face. "You're pretending you don't care about anyone. But I think you really care a lot. About everyone here. And you cared so much in the past that you can't let it go." I take a few steps back into the room, drop the rose on the end of her bed and leave.

**Anna POV**

_I'm_… the Pretender? I pretend I don't care? But I don't care. I don't care about any of them.

The rose lies at the foot of the bed. It's so beautiful. It was beautiful the way he made it grow, not that I'd tell him that. I pick it up and turn it over in my hand. One tear hits the dark red petals, then another. I nick my finger on a thorn and watch as blood the color of the petals seeps out. You can't have roses without the thorns. You can't have love without the hurt. As I contemplate the droplets of blood, I realize I do care about them. All of them.

I just wish I didn't.

* * *

Well, Anna is finally starting to come to grips with how she feels...even if her actions in the next chapter seem to suggest otherwise. All can be explained by one simple sentence: Anna is an idiot.

animegrlsteph: believe it or not...yes. more drunk. like i said, she's an idiot...and a bad influence. HAHAHAHA!


	12. Eleven

**This Time I Have Really Led Myself Astray**

_One month later…_

**Kurama POV**

"You're depressed again, Kurama. Maybe you should go home. Get away from this place," Shizuru suggests.

For the last month I've been staying here at the temple. "I've tried."

"Then why are you so depressed? If you want to be here?"

"I've been leaving a rose outside Anna's door every morning," I explain. Shizuru doesn't say anything which is good because I already know how sappy it is. But in twelve hundred years I've never felt this way. I didn't know what else to do. Especially since she was avoiding me until a few days ago. "At first she just threw them in the trash. Then after a few days the scent of roses started coming up from the garbage disposal."

"Oh, Kurama." She looks sad.

Then Atsuko, who's already here, ready to party, suggests, "Get drunk tonight and forget it for a while. I'll make sure she doesn't drink too much and you don't do anything too embarrassing."

"Like you'll be sober enough to do that," Shizuru mutters. She looks at me, "Just don't do anything you'll regret."

I nod just as Anna walks in. "Hey." She's been like this ever since I told her she was pretending. More relaxed. At least according to Shizuru.

I smile and wave. She nods back. She's even been more tolerant of me, at least after she stopped avoiding me altogether.

She makes a sandwich and sits down at the table. I move next to her. She doesn't move. Awkwardly, I ask, "Why'd you stop shredding them?" A few days ago the sink's scent of roses started to fade. That was also when she stopped avoiding me.

"It was pointless. It achieved nothing."

"What was it supposed to achieve?"

"I was hoping you'd take the hint." She sighs and picks at her sandwich. She still wants me to drop it. I can't convince myself that doesn't hurt. And because of that hurt, I have a bad feeling that I'll end up following Atsuko's advice, which is very rarely a good idea.

**Anna POV**

I finish my sandwich, wash the plate and return to my room. There are four roses in a pile in the corner. There is a wilted one on my bedside table. I try to throw it out every day. That's been real effective.

Today's a Saturday. I've stayed away from the alcohol since the disaster that first night. I somehow think that attempt at building a good habit is going down in flames tonight. I somehow think it has to do with the fact that I am no longer avoiding Kurama. I'm tired of seeing him so sad. It makes me sad. But I don't want to feel that way. Not about him, not about anyone.

I've given up on not liking the others. I could even let myself like Kurama if he would just give up on the love aspect. Because I won't let that happen.

Eight hours later (nine o'clock that night)…

I tried not to get that first drink. I really did. But once I had that first one, I knew it was too late. I'm not even trying to keep track anymore. I think I've had… I don't know. A lot. By now, I think I'm a little drunk. Maybe even a lot drunk.

Where's Kurama? I wanna talk to him.

**Kurama POV**

What time is it? Nine? I had my first drink at about seven… I think. And now everything's blurry. I like it.

I find the cooler and reach for another, but Shizuru stops me. "You've had enough to drink, Kurama."

"But I'm not drunk yet." I'm not, am I? Course not. I used to drink all the time. Haven't had that much yet.

"You sure as hell aren't sober," Shizuru mutters. Dragging me away from the drinks, she adds, "Shuichi, remember? As Shuichi, you don't drink. As Shuichi you have a very low tolerance for alcohol." Oh yeah.

"Anna!" I say. "Good to see you!"

"Good to see you too." She smiles. Why's she smiling? She never smiles. 'Specially not at me. Whatever. I don't care why.

"You're beautiful when you smile, you know that?" I ask.

"You're an idiot, Kurama. Don't do anything you'll regret tomorrow," Shizuru warns and walks away. How could there be anything to regret? Nothing can go wrong with Anna here.

"What do you want, Anna?" Why do I feel like my tongue isn't working properly?

She looks at me. "I wanted to talk to you."

"No need to talk." I grin, step forward and pull her to me. I lean my head forward and kiss her. This feels vaguely wrong. Should I be doing this? But I love her. You're supposed to kiss the girl you love, right?

And she isn't objecting. She kisses me back, pulling me a few feet to the nearest couch. She's so warm. My hands have moved to her waist. Her arms are around my neck, pulling me closer as she presses her body to mine. I love her so much. I never realized how much I wanted to kiss her.

Why do I feel as though I shouldn't be doing this, even though it feels so right? So right. I pull her closer and keep kissing her. At the same moment we both pull back, breathing heavily. We look at each other a moment then I pull her toward me again. She doesn't resist. She feels the same way. This _has_ to be right.

In the background someone shouts, "Yusuke! Kuwabara! Some help!" Who is it? Keiko? Who cares. I have Anna.

Suddenly someone grabs my arms and pulls me away from her. What are they doing? They ruined it. I was so happy. I try to fight, but Yusuke has my arms pinned to my sides. I don't remember him being this strong. Maybe I'm more drunk than I thought… Keiko is holding Anna, but she just sits there looking dazed.

Kuwabara appears and, with Yusuke's help, drags me back to my room. They shove me into bed.

I'm so tired…

_The next morning…_

My head. God. This is why Shuichi doesn't drink. The hangovers are killers. I know that, but I'd forgotten how bad they can be. Hopefully Botan and the others have that brew ready because… god.

I sit up slowly. I feel slightly nauseous. I stagger down the hall to the kitchen where Anna is already nursing a mug of the stuff. I signal Keiko, and she hands me my own. She sighs. "We'll leave." The three of them exit the room. Why? What happened last night that makes me and Anna need to be alone?

Anna… I… Anna… Oh no. I jump up and follow them. My head. I really need to drink that stuff. I run into Keiko, almost knocking her over. She looks at me. "Did I…?" I point at myself then back towards the kitchen.

Keiko nods. "Although she didn't exactly object. But it took Kuwabara and Yusuke to get you back to your room." It's easy to see that she doesn't approve of our actions last night.

This is so embarrassing. I slide to the floor, head in hands. The memories are coming back, blurry but there. She is going to _hate_ me for this. I kissed her. She didn't protest, but she was at least as drunk as me. At least, I think she was… Ohhh… I don't want to go back to the kitchen, but I really need that stuff.

I get up and slowly walk back to Anna. She has gotten herself a bowl of cereal and is now reading the milk carton.

"We need to talk about last night," I mumble, sipping the drink. Oh sweet relief.

"No we don't." How I wish that were true.

"Yes, Anna, we do."

"No we don't."

"Do you even remember what happened last night?"

"Vaguely and unfortunately." I flinch. It hurts that she so obviously doesn't want to kiss me now that she's sober. That the only reason she did is that she was wasted. It's a miracle she even remembers it.

"We kissed, Anna."

"Don't remind me."

"Are you angry with me?" Best to get the explosion over with now.

"The way I remember it, I was more drunk than you, and I sought you out. You had told me your feelings, and you were drunk. I, personally, don't feel you can be held responsible for your actions. In fact, they were to be expected. Neither can I be held responsible for my actions, despite the fact that I'm the idiot who encouraged your advances." She is still refusing to look at me. She is almost as embarrassed as I am. She's just hiding it behind this matter-of-fact attitude.

"But I kissed you first." Do I want her to get angry? Maybe… I kind of deserve it right now.

"I don't blame you, so unless you want me to get angry, drop it."

She doesn't blame me? But… she always blames me if she possible can. Then, I guess I _do_ want her to get angry, I say, "You kissed back. Which means you feel something for me."

I close my eyes, waiting for the blast of anger.

"I know I do," is all she says. "And that's the problem."

* * *

Hahaha. I told you guys Anna is a bad influence. Hope you enjoyed that chapter. It was so much fun to write. Anyway, sorry the consistent updates got not-so-consistent. I'll try to fix that. As usual, I only own Anna. This is also one of the chapters that kind of makes me go, uhhh, is this story really appropriately labeled T? So, my opinion is yes. However, if you feel it is not, please take it upon yourself not to read the chapter if you feel it is inappropriate for your age group...as if...no comment.

animegrlsteph: now do you see what I mean by REALLY drunk? yes. very bad influence.


	13. Twelve

**Runaway Train Never Going Back**

**Kurama POV**

She considers her feelings for me a problem? That's all I am to her, a nuisance that must be dealt with, a fly that must be swatted? No. That's not right. I am more than that to her, and that is what she considers a problem. She wants me to be a mere triviality, an insignificant detail.

I am unsure if this hurts or if it is a good thing. A bit of both, I think. I hurts that she pushes me away and wants to dislike me. But that is only with her mind. Her heart is not cooperating. This fight has not been lost. Not yet.

Yusuke wanders in and calls out, "Keiko, hit me up. This headache is a bitch." She places a cup in front of him and hits him on the back of the head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For getting drunk _again_. And you told me to hit you."

"You know I didn't mean for real! Now I'm gonna have a headache even after the hangover's gone! And I wasn't the only one to get drunk! Have you hit Kurama yet?"

Oh, that's embarrassing. But the hangover… the headache and the nausea… all of it's gone. That's amazing. I must discover what is in this drink.

Anna gets up, washes her dishes and leaves the room. Well… now's when I find out if it was as bad as my memories suggest. "How bad was it, Yusuke?" I ask.

"You and Anna last night?" Okay. He remembers. He wasn't as drunk as we were. At least not then.

"Yes. She wouldn't discuss it, and I don't remember it too clearly."

He nods taking a drink. "You know those movies where the last scene shows the hero and the heroine, and it looks as though they're trying to eat each other's faces?"

"Yes…" I do not like where this is going.

"Well that was you guys."

Until now I have never truly understood the phrase _the blood drained from his face_. I couldn't imagine how that could actually happen. Now I understand. It means you feel so much horror that even your heart, the muscle itself, is horrified. In this case, it's because I'm beyond embarrassment. My heart can't bring itself to pump enough blood to my face to make me blush.

After several minutes, I manage to stand, push in the chair and wash my mug. Then I return to my room.

As far as I can tell, only one good thing has come from my foolish actions: I now know that I have a least a small chance.

**Anna POV**

There must be some way to end this.

It's just like the last time with Connor. Except this time I know how it is going to end.

I must take my heart back before the loose grip he has on it now tightens. As it is, I can still get me heart back. But I know… I know that if I wait, his hold on me will strengthen. I won't be able to get my heart back at all. And Shizuru said he was stubborn. Once he has a good hold, he won't let go. At least, not till it suits him. And then it will be a ripping, shredding, crushing release.

I know what he wants. I'm not stupid. That's all any of them wants. I could feel that want last night.

Last night… I really need to stop with the booze. It only ever gets me into trouble.

Like last night. If the others hadn't been there… hell, if the others had been there but had been as completely trashed as we were… I can't say how far I would have let it go. I can't say I would have stopped it at all. He certainly wouldn't have.

Most of it is blurry. Like a drawing in sidewalk chalk just as it starts to be washed away by the rain.

But not all of it has that vague and surreal taste. The actions do. But the emotions, the want, the passion… those are clear as day. Unfortunately. I can still feel them burn whenever I think of it. Which is far too often.

The problem is, it isn't the memory of the way he wanted me, the love I could tell he felt for me at the moment that burns. It's how much I liked the feeling of being loved and wanted. More than that, it's how much I enjoyed being loved and wanted _by him_. And at least part, if not all, of me in my drunken state loved him just as much as he loved me.

I can still feel that burn in my veins. When I close my eyes there is fire. I close my eyes, and I can feel the way he held me, kissed me, loved me, even if the love only lasted a moment. Even though the love can probably be more truthfully defined as lust.

All I truly know is that I wanted him to keep holding me, keep kissing me. I wanted to hold him and kiss him. I wanted to keep him with me forever.

It's irrational, and I'll only get hurt if I let this go any farther. But I can't get his embrace out of my head.

This isn't right, Anna! You can't fall in love with him! It's not allowed. You'll only end up getting hurt. You'll be broken again. And maybe this time there won't be anyone there to help me pick up the pieces.

I get up and stomp around the room. I need to throw something, break something. If I don't, I'll go mad.

I scream through my teeth. Why the hell does he have to make it so damn freaking difficult to hate him?

* * *

Well. There you have it. Anna is very upset. She's fun to write when she gets angry like this.

animegrlsteph: She kind of admits it to him. Not what the feelings are but that there is something. Anna is a moron.


	14. Thirteen

**Wrong Way On a One Way Track**

**Kurama POV**

I can hear her raging around her room. She's more upset than she seemed out in the kitchen.

I'm in my room, but I can hear her through the walls. I chose the room right next to hers. She was angry but not angry enough to move. Is that because of her half-buried feelings that are quite possibly a delusion on my part?

No. It wasn't a delusion. She loved me as much as I love her, if only for a short time. If only because of the alcohol.

I want her. I want her so much. I want her for forever. I want her to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish… I want that. All of it. I want her—love her—like I've never wanted anyone before.

It would be foolish to pretend there weren't others. There were always women. Beautiful women. Women who didn't care that it wouldn't last more than a night or two. Women who didn't care that there was no real emotional connection. Women who didn't care that being involved with me for even a day could mean their deaths. I was famous; that was all that mattered to them. And, in truth, the only thing that mattered to me was their beauty, their bodies. None of them was smart enough to hold my interest in any other way. Thinking of it now, I'm ashamed. Of course, much of what I did in my old life I am ashamed of, even disgusted by, now. But I can't pretend those women never existed. Not now. That would be a lie. It would be a wrong against Anna to pretend that.

**Anna POV**

I cackle. That is the only way I can describe it. Because the phrase _seeing red_ isn't accurate. A rage so great all you can see is the color red? Yeah right. I freaking wish. But no. I get red _and_ green. Like it's fricking Christmas in my head.

I got the red, sure. But it's not the deep, bloody red anger is supposed to be. No. It's the bright red of his hair, always intermingling with the bright emerald green of his eyes.

This rage is weird. It all reminds me of him, which aggravates me even more!

It is colored red and green.

It tastes of beer and wine coolers.

It smells of freaking roses.

It whispers "I love you" in his soft voice over and over again.

It wraps me in its warm, soft, loving embrace.

And. I. Hate. It.

I hate it. My rage is him. He is my rage. How can he occupy so much of my mind? It isn't fair! I can't even escape him in my anger!

**Kurama POV**

With Anna… it's all different. So different from the others. I still want her for that reason; denying that would be ridiculous. But it's so much more than that too. She's smart, she's observant, she fights, she has a strong spirit. I want her for all of these. I love her for all of these reasons. It might not be the right thing, but I do love her.

I'll always lover her. Forever. Till death do us part.

* * *

well there you have it. hope you liked it. as always, i only own anna. well, not as always, since in the coming chapters i will add two characters to the who-i-own list. but right now, just anna.

animegrlsteph: knowing what you know, do you like the last sentence?


	15. Fourteen

**Seems Like I Should Be Getting Somewhere**

**Anna POV**

I scream in frustration and rip the blankets off of my bed. Leaving them in a heap on the floor, I tear the pillowcase off my pillow and add it to the pile. I look frantically around the room. Why aren't there any matches? I want to watch something _burn_.

I take my pillow and chuck it at the entrance. The _thump_ it makes when it hits the door is satisfyingly loud for an object that soft. But it's not enough.

The crash the lamp makes when it hits the floor is much more satisfactory.

Unfortunately, it also brings me back to my senses.

I can't deal with this. If I don't do something about it soon, I won't be able to get away. I sink to my knees, then curl up in a ball on the floor. And if I don't get away, he'll use me, just like the others. I can't take that again. It hurts too much. I can't take the hurt. Anything would be better than the hurt.

I sit up, get up and leave my room. I know what to do. I'll never need to deal with the hurt again. Not from him, not from anyone.

**Kurama POV**

She rages around her room for nearly fifteen minutes. The stomping is accompanied by shouts of rage, thumps, bangs and cursing. Loud cursing. And not just the occasional "damn it" either.

Then there is a loud crash and everything goes silent. Completely silent. Thank goodness. She's done. I'm not sure if I'm upset or glad or confused that she took her anger out on her room rather than me.

I think I have to go with thankful. I know I deserve that anger. But given the amount of damage it sounds as though that room has just taken, I don't like to think what I'd look like afterward if it had been me instead.

What I find interesting is that this kind of disturbance doesn't bring anyone running. The rest of the house just continues on with its business. Violence isn't uncommon here. Even if the demons who live here aren't violent, it's still a way station. And some of those who stop are violent. Throw in Kuwabara, Yusuke, Hiei, a few drunks and several battle junkies and it's a recipe for disaster.

After about five minutes of silence, she gets up, walks quickly to her door and exits, snapping the door shut.

I feel like there's something more I could be doing to make her feel comfortable around me. I feel like I'm just driving her away. I admit I haven't made the best decisions as far as she's concerned, but I also think that my decisions could have been worse.

Suddenly her door clicks shut, much more quietly than it did before. Where did she go, I wonder? She wasn't gone long.

I can hear her pacing back and forth. But just barely and only because I have hearing beyond that of a normal human. Suddenly her soft treading stops.

I haven't the slightest idea why the silence that replaces it seems almost… ominous. The last one was just quiet. This one is somehow more than quiet.

I wait a minute or two, and when that complete…_deadness_ drags out, I get up and walk to my door. Each of my footsteps seems far too loud. I open the door slowly, but it has a creak I hadn't noticed before. As I walk down the hall, away from Anna's room, a normalcy returns the sound of the silence.

The silence disappears when I reach the kitchen. There is always someone in the kitchen. In this case, it's Shizuru, Keiko, Botan, Yukina and Yusuke. "Was Anna here?" I ask.

"Yeah, a couple of minutes ago," Keiko says.

"What did she say?"

"Nothing. She just walked over to the counter and stood there for a moment. Then she walked back towards her room." Keiko shrugs. "Anna is kind of odd, Kurama. There's no denying that."

I glance at the counter. Something's off. But what? My eyes fall on the knife block. One is missing. Why…? …The pills! "Damn it!" I shout. All of them jump. I shout at them, "Shizuru, get the car started! Botan, Keiko, get as many bandages and as much gauze as you can to Anna's room! Now!" I don't know if it's the urgency in my voice or the words themselves, but they all do as I say. Yusuke has already disappeared down the hall to Anna's room. I grab Yukina by the wrist and drag her after me.

Yusuke has just finished picking the lock when we get there. I push past him, still dragging Yukina.

Blood. How can there be so much blood? It's only been a few minutes.

"Anna!" I scream. Salt? Wet? Salty water on my face. But… so much blood. "Anna!" I scream again. I check her pulse. It's still there. Stronger than I expected. She's still fighting…? I don't understand. But a stronger pulse means she's pumping out more blood! No! "Anna!" Plant after plant, herb after herb. Yukina next to me, working her magic. Keiko and Botan. Horrified. But the bandages. "Anna!"

Why? You can't do this to me, Anna! Twelve hundred years. You can't do this. You can't take this away from me now. You can't do this to me, "Anna!"

* * *

As is usual, I only own Anna. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

animegrlsteph: there's where the last line comes into play.

Foxgirl Ray: it's perfectly okay that you haven't reviewed the last few chapters (I'm just glad people are still reading my story!). It also makes me very happy that you caught that foreshadowing. Well, if it turns out the what you thought would happen actually happens, let me know. :)


	16. Fifteen

**Somehow I'm Neither Here Nor There**

**Anna POV**

Cold. Why is it so cold? I shiver. It's so cold.

…

Cold. Where am I? The Underworld? No. There wouldn't be this terrible aching pain. Or the cold. What happened? Why am I so cold? So cold…

…

It's cold again. Why is it always cold? Why is the rum always gone? I want the blackness. The blackness isn't cold. But… that _smell_. It smells… clean. Like Clorox wipes and pool water. I feel like I'm going to choke on the clean, drown in it. If I don't freeze first.

My eyelids flutter. It's too bright. Too clean. So _cold_…

…

"You should've called an ambulance. You did well with the bandages, but you are still lucky she didn't die." Whose voice is that?

Before I can figure it out, someone else is shouting, "If we had called an ambulance we would have needed to wait for it! We broke about fifty traffic laws just to get here on time!" Now that voice I recognize… "We live so far from anywhere that it would have been _lucky_ if they had gotten there before she died! And it's got absolutely nothing to do with luck!" Kurama… "It's got to do with twelve hundred years of knowledge of herbal medicine and three hundred of traditional healing and driving thirty miles over the speed limit on twisting mountain roads! Now do your freaking job, and make her better!" Why is he so worked up?

"Kurama," I moan without opening my eyes. My voice is scratchy. "Shut up. You're giving me a headache."

"Anna!" he shouts. At least, it sounds like he's shouting. Why does he need to be so loud? Suddenly he's holding my hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I thought I told you to shut up," I mumble. I try to open my eyes. It's so _bright_. I close them again. "And I know I told you not to touch me…"

He freezes, then pulls his hand away. From somewhere else in the room, Shizuru's voice says, "I think she's feeling well, all things considered."

What things considered? Oh, I don't even care. I just care about the fact that I ache all over, and it's so cold. Why is it so cold?

Then the warm blackness comes again.

…

Oh, not this cold again. Why is it always cold? I open my eyes. It's still bright but not as bright as before. Kurama's leaning on the bed. I shift slightly, and he wakes up with a start. "Anna," he breathes. He reaches for my hand again but pulls back before he touches me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"You tried… you tried…" Why is he crying? I look away, down. My wrists are covered in bandages. Oh. That. But why can't he say it?

"Oh," is all I say.

"What do you remember?" he asks tentatively.

"Being angry. And scared. Then pain. Then it's all black, but someone keeps screaming my name… then the cold and the achy-ness. The clean and the bright. And I remember you shouting. And I remember telling you to shut up… Kurama…?"

"Yes? I'm here."

"I know. But where is everyone else?"

"They went home. They were worried about you, but they figured you would be alright after you told me off. They decided there was no real need for more than one person to stay. They let me." Let? Not made?

"Oh." Why would they be worried? Do they actually care…? Even though they know how messed up I am now? "Kurama…?"

"Yes?"

"Why is it so cold?" I glance at him. He looks… confused. Then he seems to understand.

"You lost a lot of blood, Anna."

Oh. I'm so cold. All I want is to be warm. That's all I'm asking of life right now. Although, considering I tried to get rid of it, it has no real reason to comply… "Could you… could you… maybe… get up here on the bed with me?" He hesitates. "I'm cold," I repeat. "And no one else is here." He still hesitates. I pause then whisper, "Please."

His face softens, the concern disappears, and he nods. Then he climbs gently onto the bed, positioning himself around me, careful not to touch my wrists.

I nestle into him. He's so warm So much warmer than everything else. It's nice. Nice and warm.

But is it nice because it's warm or because it's him?

I think this, then slip into blackness.

* * *

As is usual, I only own Anna. Of course a couple chapters from now, there will be another character I own. But that's the future, so forget about that for now! Hope you guys liked this chapter. So far, it's one of my favorites. Now, on to reviews!

animegrlsteph: I warned you at the beginning of the story that the chapter lengths and when the updates were going to come would be totally random...there is one chapter (chapter 34 maybe?) that's only one typed page long. Most of the chapters are between 2 and 4...

Foxgirl Ray: I am very happy my foreshadowing worked! And good assumption. How can a story continue with the main character dead? Then again, YYH itself STARTS with the main character dead... Anyway, this story is nowhere close to being finished.


	17. Sixteen

**Can You Help Me Remember How to Smile**

**Kurama POV**

She's been sleeping off and on, but when she's awake she doesn't do much beyond sit there. I don't know how long it's been. I lost track of time. I was too worried about her. I don't know…it seems like it hasn't been long enough for her to be feeling this good, but at the same time it feels as though it has been far too long.

The nurses have been in to change the bandages a few times. The first time I tried to watch, but I couldn't. It didn't look as bad as I thought it would. I think it was more the idea of why she had bandages than anything else that repulsed me.

I got out of the bed whenever they needed to change the bandages. Whenever they just came in to check on her, I didn't move. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but the nurses and the doctor didn't even blink. I guess they see things like this all the time; family lying on the bed with a patient to make them feel better. Of course, one nurse didn't seem to approve; a guess she assumes I'm Anna's boyfriend. I wish I could say that were the case.

Each time they change the bandages, it wakes her up. Then after a few minutes, she starts shivering. She huddles under the blankets, but then she asks quietly, ashamed, "Kurama?" and I climb back onto the bed.

I understand why she's cold, but I do find it odd that it lasts this long. It makes me wonder if…no, Kurama. Don't delude yourself. She is actually cold. You can wish all you want, but…no. We got her more blankets, but they didn't help. I can tell she's embarrassed to be asking me. There's your reason, Kurama. She doesn't want to ask you. But her embarrassment isn't because she has to ask me. It's because she has to ask at all.

She's embarrassed because she needs help. She's used to being entirely independent. It frustrates her to need help. And Kurama, it makes it worse that it's you. Keep that in mind, Kurama.

_The next (Wednesday) morning…_

Ow. I fell asleep on the bed. It is definitely not meant for two people. I need to move. I shift slightly. I need to get up is what I really need to do. But it might wake Anna up. In fact, it almost certainly would. While we were asleep she rolled over and curled in on herself. She has her head pressed up against my chest, and her fists are clutching my shirt. How can she have such a tight grip on something, even in her sleep? "Kurama…" she murmurs.

"What?" I ask.

"Mmm-mmmm…" she mumbles. She wasn't talking to me. She's still asleep. What is she thinking—dreaming—of I wonder?

She is so beautiful. I don't understand why she would want to take her own life. Murder me… that I could understand. But why would she want to smother such fire? But…she didn't really want to, did she? Her strength of spirit… if she had really wanted to… she would have succeeded. She still wants to be here. Then what made her go temporarily insane?

It's all I can do to keep from brushing her long, dark brown hair out of her face. But I know she wouldn't want me to do that. If she woke up, she'd hat me for it. "Kurama…" she whispers again.

"Yes?" I can't tell if she's asleep or not.

"Don't touch me…" I pull away, but her grip on my shirt tightens. Definitely asleep. But what is she dreaming? Why does she keep saying my name?

The door closes. I look up. The five who were with us yesterday have come back, along with Kuwabara. My face heats up, and I try to pull away from Anna. She won't let go. I give up. Better for me to be embarrassed than to wake her up. She's far too beautiful like this. She's even smiling a little. I don't want to ruin that.

"You're smiling, Kurama," Yukina says softly. I am? Yes, I suppose I am. Anna's alive. She's beautiful. What is there to keep me from smiling?

Then Shizuru asks the obvious question, "What are you doing, Kurama?"

"I…umm…I…" I fight the impulse to pull away again. "She was cold."

After a very loud pause, Yusuke and Kuwabara start laughing at me. The noise startles Anna awake. She sees her hands and immediately jerks back. Then she says, "Why is it so hot? Get off my bed." Then she pushes me off the bed. I am so surprised that I actually hit the floor. All this makes Yusuke and Kuwabara laugh even harder. As if to prove a point of how hot she is, she throws off all her blankets. Is that just because the others are here or… don't think it Kurama, don't think it. Stop. Stop.

Yusuke and Kuwabara's laughter dies down as I pick myself up off the floor. Sparing people's feelings is not one of Shizuru's strong points. "Okay, Anna. We all want to know. Might as well get it over with in one go. Why'd you do it?" Neither is tact.

Anna shivers. "I was scared."

"Of what?" Yusuke asks.

"You guys. All of you." What? She shivers again. I thought she said she was hot? Is she hot but mind over… No, Kurama.

"But we're really not that scary." Kuwabara grins and adds, "Well, Hiei is, I'll give you that."

Then Yukina, her voice almost hurt, asks, "What is there to be scared of, Anna?"

Anna sighs frowning. "I've already gotten too close to you guys. I trust you guys too much. I'm just setting myself up to get hurt again. Anything is better than that hurt." She pauses. "And if I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have told you that. Maybe if I didn't…" she looks at her monitor, then at me and stops, shivering.

Shizuru looks at me. "Kurama, most times, when a girl tells you to do something, it's a good idea to listen. Now is not one of those times."

Anna and I both look at her. I have a feeling that there is as much confusion on my face as there is on Anna's. In response to this, Shizuru says, "Kurama, she's freezing. Get back up on that bed with her, and keep her warm. She might pretend to hate you, but it'll all be an act. Anna, quit being an idiot and just accept some help."

Anna glares at Shizuru for a moment. Then she sighs and nods, pulling her blankets back up. It's hard to out-argue Shizuru; other than Hiei, she is probably the most stubborn of all of us. "Fine," Anna mutters. Shizuru and Anna look at me, waiting to see what I'll do. I hesitate. Then Anna says timidly, "I _am_ cold, Kurama."

"Couldn't one of you…?" I ask the others. I know Anna doesn't want me on that bed. If it were up to her, no one would be on that bed. But Shizuru is going to force it on her.

"Uh-uh." Shizuru shakes her head. "Taking care of her is your job, lover boy." Based on the slight pink tinge of Anna's face—Anna, who rarely reveals emotions other than rage…based on that and how warm my cheeks feel, I'm somewhere between fuchsia and bright red.

I climb slowly onto the bed, careful to touch Anna as little as possible. Let her decide how much contact is acceptable or necessary. She doesn't feel cold… I glance at her monitor. Body temperature is normal… She doesn't move any closer, and I hear myself say quietly, "I'm glad you failed." When she doesn't respond, I continue, "I'm glad I made it in time. I know you didn't really want to die." Why'd I say that? I mean, I know it's true, but I highly doubt she wants to hear it.

"How do you know what I want?" she asks sharply.

"You already told me you didn't want to die." Here I go again with the saying something I don't really mean to say out loud…

She stiffens at me reference to what she said just before she passed out. Then unconsciously shifting closer to me, probably for the warmth, she says, "That was then, this is now."

I look down at her and say, "You still didn't want to die."

"Says who?" She looks up at me angrily.

"Says me," I say, louder than necessary. I then begin counting the reasons, ticking them of on my fingers. "You have a strong enough spirit that if you had really wanted it, Yusuke wouldn't have been able to get through that lock. You have too much spirit, too much life to be able to dampen it entirely on purpose, no matter how you try, you can't let yourself. Your own body was rebelling against what your mind was trying to do. And most importantly, if you had really wanted that, you would have done it in the forest, where you could have been sure no one would find you." I pause. "Therefore, you didn't really want to die."

"I hate psychology." I don't think now's the time to tell her I'm going to have her see a psychiatrist…

She worms her way farther under the blankets and snuggles in closer to me, resting her head on my arm after several failed attempts to get comfortable on the pillow. She must feel colder than I thought. Or she actually wants… no, Kurama. You're not going to fall into that delusion.

Kuwabara snorts, and Yusuke chuckles, both attempting not to laugh at Anna's actions. Hearing them, she sits up straight and threatens, "You don't think I'm not strong enough to get out of this bed and beat you both to a bloody pulp before throwing you out the window?" That's my Anna.

They stop laughing, and she reverts to her earlier position. After several minutes of silence, with Yusuke and Keiko bickering in the background, she says, "I hate you."

"Hmmm?" What brought that on?

"I hate you," she repeats. It hurts, hearing her say that out loud.

"Yes," I sigh. "I caught that the first time. Why?"

"Because you make it so damn difficult for me to dislike you."

And she says she hates psychology.

* * *

Well, I am back! This is the last chapter that I only own one person (Anna). After this, I will own someone else.

Foxgirl Ray: I'm glad you liked the way it was written. I really liked the way it was written too, but I wasn't sure if you guys would.


	18. Seventeen

**Make It Somehow All Seem Worthwhile**

**Kurama POV**

The nurses come and the nurses go. Anna doesn't pay them much mind. Eventually her doctor comes in and asks to speak with Anna's family alone. After a moment's hesitation, I say, "She has no family." At least not here in Japan. And definitely no family she'd have here even if they were in the country.

"I see," he says. He goes on, "I need to discuss some possibilities with Anna, so if you all could just leave, it would be helpful."

"They can stay," Anna says suddenly. "I probably won't listen to your suggestions anyway, unless they force me to."

The doctor looks temporarily disconcerted. I smile. That's Anna for you. Blunt force truth. The only time she lies is when she's lying to herself as well. He slowly continues, "Well, Miss Matthews—"

She hits me on the back of the head and tells the doctor, "My name isn't Matthews." Not this Anna. Not now.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. This is his first real conversation with Anna; I don't think he realized how…troublesome she can be when she wants to. "Then what is your name?"

"Anna." Here we go again.

"Anna what?"

"I don't have a last name." Oh, Anna. Must you be like this?

I intervene. "She gave up her last name two and a half years ago. It was Matthews. Use that for the paperwork, just don't use it when speaking to her."

Eyes wide, he takes a deep breath and nods. I don't think Anna is helping the impression he's already made of her that she is quite possibly crazy. "Well, as I was saying Anna, I think—"

She interrupts him again. "I'm not checking myself into the psych ward. I may have been temporarily suicidal, but that doesn't mean I belong in the loony bin. And as far as nut houses go, I'd rather live in the forest with the squirrels." If only he knew how true that statement is. "So don't even suggest it. Nothing doing."

He sighs. It's interesting how quickly she picks up on what people are trying to say. It makes me wonder if she just lets us finish for the sake of polite conversation…Perhaps Anna's people skills are better than we've been giving her credit for. The doctor can't seem to decide whether to face me, the person closest to Anna, or Shizuru, the oldest. He decides on me. "Since she's intent on not checking herself in—"

"You do that, Kurama, and I will break out and come after you." Is she going to let the man finish even one sentence?

"Those facilities are well-guarded, with—" Evidently not.

"Don't underestimate the force of my will." Does that mean she does know how to control her aura? No…but she knows that with enough determination, it will all work out for her. Will I ever truly understand this girl?

"Willpower alone—" the doctor begins.

This time I interrupt him. "You don't understand, doctor. You ever heard of a sixth sense?" His face is answer enough. Without my consent, my mouth and voice box continue, "How that works is a person can sense the spiritual force others give off, living or dead. That force is known as reiki or aura."

"Kurama…" Shizuru warns.

I'm too into this to really care though. Anna needs my help. "I'm fine, Shizuru. It's unlikely he'll believe me anyway." I turn back to the doctor. "Now, while some can sense this aura, a few can control it. Those of us who can are able to make things happen. Things that seem almost…otherworldly to the untrained eye. Do you get my drift?"

"Yes. You're all mad."

"Need a demonstration?" I ask amiably. Why'd I ask that? Not a good idea.

"Sure," he says sarcastically.

Shizuru shakes her head in disbelief as I do something undeniably stupid. I pull a seed from my hair and grow a monstrous plant. I smile coyly. "Proof enough?" The plant shrinks, shrivels and dies. "Now while I specialize in plants, this aura can be used in a myriad of ways, including forcing one's way out of a closed ward. Get the picture?"

I glare, and he takes a step back. He then purses his lips and nods. I smile and say, "Glad you see it our way. Thank you for your cooperation. We will make sure she sees a psychiatrist, but she won't be living on the ward."

He nods. Then he says, "I see. I will contact someone. I know a psychiatrist who might be…suitable to work with Anna."

Before I can ask what he means, he leaves. I sit back down on the bed. I don't even remember standing up. Then Anna says, "It wasn't your words or even the plants that made him give in, you know."

"What?" I ask. I admit it, I'm confused.

"For a moment, your eyes weren't the warm, soft green they normally are. They flashed a cold, hard gold." She notices what's in my eyes that much. Quite calmly she asks, "Why did that happen?"

I slowly say, "You know I lead two lives, demon and human. This is my human form. But sometimes, when I get angry, I can't control the demonic side completely, and the true Kurama forces himself past the human Shuichi."

She looks at me, trying to see if I am lying. "Okay." Okay? That's all she has to say? I truly do not understand her, and I suspect I never will. After a moment, she asks, "Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get angry. Argue so hard for me. I could've handled it. But you took that risk, showing him the plant, instead. Why?"

Why did I do it? It just… I don't know. I didn't think about it. I just kind of happened. "I figured it'd be simpler to just keep you out than to deal with the trouble of you breaking out." Yeah, that sounds good. But is that why I did it? I'm not sure…

She analyzes my face for a moment. Normally it's me doing that. I now understand why I sometimes make people uncomfortable when I try to read their emotions. "Liar. Strike one."

That wasn't my reason? No… I couldn't care less about the trouble it would cause. "You're not insane. You shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to do?" Even I can tell it sounds like a question. And it's wrong, since I have every intention of making her go to a psychiatrist.

Without hesitation she says, "Strike two." The others are watching us, fascinated and confused by Anna's behavior. Or my behavior. I don't really know if it's me or her.

Me or her. My reason wasn't about her, not exactly. I did what I did for selfish reasons. I'm just too stupid to realize that, and I wish I could say my actions were more noble than they really were. "I didn't like the thought of you being away from me," I finally say.

She studies my face, looking for signs of a lie. Evidently she doesn't find any because she sighs, rolls her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder. She likes being next to me to some extent…but I can't think about that. It might just be because she's cold. She says, "So damn difficult to hate you."

Before I can respond, a woman walks in. She looks strangely out of place in her more business-like clothes. Her heels clack on the floor. Anna is instantly asleep.

Or rather, Anna instantly _pretends_ to be asleep. So much for hating pretenders.

The woman sees her and says quietly, "Is it a bad time? Anna's doctor said I could come in and speak with her."

I roll my eyes. "She's just pretending."

Without opening her eyes, she says, "Yet, for some reason, I can't figure out _why_ it's so difficult to hate you."

The woman seems interested and almost amused at this. She reaches out to shake my hand, as it's obvious Anna is intent on ignoring her. Why is it always me? Just because I'm no the bed doesn't mean I have any more say than anyone else in the room. I shake her hand anyway. "I'm Dr. Takei," she says.

I nod. I gesture to Anna. "As you may have gathered, this is Anna."

"Hello, Anna," Dr. Takei says.

Anna still won't open her eyes. All she has to say is, "I hate psychology."

She saw the woman for half a second and knows exactly what she wants. She must really hate psychiatrists if she can spot them that easily. Dr. Takei smiles. "Don't be like that, Anna. It's only reverse psychology that's annoying. It gives the rest of the study a bad name."

I think I'm beginning to understand what her other doctor meant by suitable…

Anna says, "And psychiatrists." Oh, that's real nice, Anna.

Dr. Takei, however, doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she laughs. Then she says, "Well, my first goal is to change your mind on that. That is if you choose to see me rather than someone else. I won't go so far as to assume I'm the only psychiatrist you would honor with your dislike."

Even though her eyes are closed, I can see her confusion.

Suitable. Yes, very. Dr. Takei even seems up to handling Anna's rather volatile and sometimes violent personality.

* * *

Well, there you have it. I now own TWO characters: Anna and Dr. Takei. And guess what? NEW REVIEWERS! YAYAYAYAY! Thanks to all of you who reviewed, old reviewers and new!

animegrlsteph: I do too...Anna is great.

vicmignognaismyhero1234: First, sorry if I got your screen name wrong. Second, here's more. I'm glad you think this story is addicting and easy to understand. I won't stop, I promise. I don't think Anna would allow it.

Angel of Randomosity: she confuses the crap out of me too...you know how some characters are written and some characters write themselves? Well, Anna is most definitely one of the ones who writes herself.

avengedchocolateangel: I'm happy to hear it's held your interest. As for Kurama being the assertive one...as Keiko said earlier, "love turns everyone into fools." And as Shiori will say in the future of this story "If it's meant to be..." Yes. He doesn't really have another option when Anna acts the way he does, does he?

FallenAngelx3: Anna is definitely a different kind of girl...


	19. Eighteen

**How On Earth Did I Get So Jaded**

_The next day (Thursday)…_

**Anna POV**

My doctor just discharged me. Finally. Yesterday and most of today have been nothing short of hell. I could get up and walk around, but then the others complained. I guess they thought I was going to pass out or something. But as soon as I got onto the bed, I would start shivering. I kept checking the monitor, but my body temperature was normal.

And after those first few hours, I didn't feel cold. But I was still shaking. Those shivers that just take hold of your entire body for no good reason. And no matter how many times I told them I wasn't cold, Shizuru—and soon Keiko and Botan as well—used my shivering as an excuse to all but force Kurama onto the bed.

But none of that is a problem.

The problem is I stopped shivering whenever he got onto the bed. The problem is I liked having him next to me. I liked it that he seemed to care enough about me to forget his own embarrassment. I liked that he was doing what he thought would help me most even though it made him uncomfortable. I liked the way he argued with the doctor for me.

I like his reason for doing so.

But I don't want to like any of that. I want to go back to being normal, slightly screwed up Anna who has anger issues and no friends. Life hurts less that way.

Instead I have all these people who seem to genuinely care for me, who it's next to impossible not to like. And this guy who believes he's in love with me. This guy who was crying his eyes out when I woke up, it upset him so much that I tried to kill myself. This guy who, no matter how I try, I can't seem to suppress my feelings for.

None of that would be an issue if I hadn't had all that before. But I did have it. All of it and more. Parts of it more than once. And it all went away. And it hurt beyond anything I could have imagined. I'm just afraid it will all disappear again.

We all get into that stupid bus of Atsuko's. Kurama is driving, so I climb in the back with Yusuke and Kuwabara. But I can't get it all out of my head.

I can't forget the faces and the names. Mom. Dad. Jake. Liza. Evan. Amy. Connor. Mr. and Mrs. Carl. Mr. and Mrs. Swift. So many faces. Why can't their memory just disappear like they did in real life? Why can't the hurt just go away?

I put my head in my hands. Almost immediately the van slows, and Kurama asks, "Are you okay, Anna?"

"Just watch the road." Isn't that one of the first things I said to him? But that was months ago! Why should I remember that? I shouldn't. But I do. And I know why.

I know. I always knew. I looked at them, and in spite of the fact that he was the one pretending to be something he is not, I knew. I knew from the very beginning that it would be harder not to fall in love with him than any of the others. I knew I would have to work at not falling for him.

And now here I am, failing miserably.

_One hour later…_

I walk into my bedroom, despite Kurama's request. Someone cleaned everything up. The sheets, the lamp. The blood.

He appears suddenly behind me. "I think you should move to a different room. This room has memories in it that could encourage a negative mindset."

I snort. "It has nothing to do with the room. It has to do with a human instinct for self-preservation."

"How does self-preservation go with suicide?" He asks that, then clenches his teeth, and his hand curls into a fist. He does that whenever he says something he doesn't mean to say. Which he does quite frequently.

"The kind of self-preservation I'm talking about deals with a natural tendency to do the thing that will result in the least amount of pain," I say. I guess that I share that tendency to say things I don't mean to say out loud. But only around him.

It looks as though he wants to say something else, ask another question. But he refrains. All he says is, "Your first appointment with Dr. Takei is tomorrow at four."

"Whatever."

"Will you please be civil, Anna?" he asks. I shrug. He sighs, "Promise me, Anna."

Why should I promise him anything? And isn't she supposed to help me with my issues? How is she supposed to do that if I am behaving in a way I normally wouldn't? I shrug. "I promise I'll try to be civil."

He looks at me a moment then rolls his eyes. "Best I'm going to get?" he asks.

Glad he caught that I wasn't promising to stay polite, just that I'd start that way. "You're lucky I agreed to that much," I mutter.

He smiles. "I know." What is with him? He knows what my behavior is likely to be, yet he smiles? "Why did you do it, Anna?" He clenches his teeth again, and the fist reappears.

But this question is much more personal than the last. "I already answered that question." My teeth are grinding together, and my fists are clenched as well but for an entirely different reason than his.

He sighs, and I guess he is just giving in to his impulsive mouth because he says, "I know the why Anna. What I really want to know is the reason behind the why."

I feel my face go blank. It's not that I force the emotion away. I can just feel it disappear. Because everything disappears except the learned numbness when he asks that. The numbness that makes me immune to the stories behind the faces.

So many faces. Mom. Dad. Jake. Liza. Evan. Amy. Connor. Mr. and Mrs. Carl. Mr. and Mrs. Swift. Mom. Dad. Jake. Liza. Evan. Amy. Connor. Mr. and Mrs. Carl. Mr. and Mrs. Swift. Mom. Dad. Jake…

Suddenly I find that the numbness is gone. And the hurt that hits me is like twenty tons of concrete moving at speeds well over one hundred miles per hour. And I cry. Jake. Why'd you have to do that to me? It's not fair. After all that happened, you'd pull that crap on me? Even after Connor, I was there for you. Broken-hearted, maybe, but I stayed. Oh, Jake. It would have been better if you had just left like the others. Why'd you have to take yourself away from me that way? You were still there physically, but your mind was gone. Why did you have to do that to yourself? Especially when I needed you.

I bury my face in the soft cloth in front of me, clutching the fabric with my hands. I rest my forehead on his chest. I don't even care that he's seeing me like this. It doesn't matter.

After a few seconds, he wraps his arms around me and just holds me. No questions, no words, nothing. He just holds me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Once I manage to quit crying, I sniffle, "Don't touch me." I don't pull back, don't even let go of his shirt which seems to be the only thing anchoring me to what's left of my sanity.

He just chuckles quietly and keeps holding me.

* * *

I only own Anna in this chapter. Now for reviews...

animegrlsteph: Yes. Dr. Takei is pretty much...weird. But where Anna is weird in a spaz-out-and-do-something-really-stupid way, Dr. Takei is weird in a perfectly-calculated-every-single-move-in-order-to-help-my-patient way.

Angel of Randomosity: Yep. Always entertaining. Especially when it makes Kurama look like an idiot because he can't control his mouth... as for the lady having six chapters... if you meant you give Dr. Takei six chapters before Anna drives her away or she ticks Anna off beyond anything we've seen, you are far underestimating Dr. Takei's skill, my friend.

vicmignognaismyhero1234: babbling is good if it's caused by excitement (I don't babble a lot in this story, but that's simply because I have very few author's notes). As for characters writing themselves, the issue is they write themselves, and then they stick around after the story is finished. One of my characters from 1 Dead, 3 Missing is still walking around, writing my stories (at least the characters who don't write themselves). God forbid Anna follow that path... Things might start gettting destroyed.


	20. Nineteen

**Life's Mystery Seems So Faded**

_The next day (Friday), four o'clock…_

**Anna POV**

I don't like it. It's exactly like the other two psychiatrists I went to see. Suddenly, Dr. Takei appears. "Hello, Anna," she says brightly.

"Hello." I promised I'd try. Kurama nods his approval at my attempt.

I stand and follow her into the therapy room or whatever it is. And it is not like the others.

There are six different kinds of chairs. "Take a seat," she says. I slowly sit in the nearest one, a swivel chair like you see at computer desks. She takes the one opposite me, a plastic chair like you'd typically find at a school. She sees my confusion and tells me, "I am a bit unconventional. I want my patients to feel comfortable. You can also feel free to move around."

"Am I allowed to get angry?" Not that an answer of no will really mean anything. But I really am trying for civility.

To my surprise, however, she says, "I have only one rule: you are not allowed to harm yourself. I am here to make you better. Whether that means talking through your problems, diagnosing you with an actual disorder and giving you medication or just listening to you rant, it doesn't matter. Whatever will make you feel better is fine by me, as long as it does not involve hurting yourself."

Huh? She really believes this is only about me? My other two psychiatrists had other things they were concerned about. I find this woman…odd but not dislikable.

When I don't say anything she asks, "Is there anything you want to ask me, Anna? Or anything you want to tell me?"

I say nothing.

She nods. "I get it. You don't trust me and don't want to talk to me. But we're here for hour, so we might as well talk about something. How about I tell you a little bit about myself, just to take up the time?"

I don't respond.

So she starts talking. "Okay, if you have anything to say or ask, relevant to what I'm saying or not, just interrupt."

I say nothing, just watch her.

"My name is Hikari Takei. I grew up in Japan. I have two brothers. My parents stayed together, but I think everyone involved would have been happier if they had gotten a divorce. I went to Nagoya University to study psychology. I have been a psychiatrist for eight years." She pauses a moment, so I interrupt.

"Why do you think I did it?"

"Why do I think you attempted suicide?"

"Yes. Everyone else keeps asking me. You're my psychiatrist, and you haven't. I know my reasons. I want to see what you think those reasons are."

"Hmmm…" she thinks for a moment then says, "I talked to your friend Shuichi, and he told me you were scared to get close to people." Shuichi. Shuichi. Enough said. I wait, so she continues, "I think the reason for that is that you got hurt in your past; I do not think it is a psychological disorder which would be the normal reason people come to see me." She is good. After a moment's silence, she adds, "Since there is no evident disorder, I want you to feel free to go see a different therapist if you want to. I am happy to keep seeing you, but I want you to know that option is available. Does that sound good to you, Anna?"

I nod. She asks, "Just out of professional curiosity, how close was I at guessing your reasons?"

"Too close for comfort."

"Now, I don't want you to feel obligated, but it's my job to ask if you'd like to tell my any of the specifics."

No. I don't want to tell you. It's none of your business. I don't even want to be here. Then something else registers. "Why did you talk to him?"

"Shuichi?" she asks. Sure, if you want to call him that. I just nod. "He told me he was the closest thing you had to family, so I talked to him about your health and that kind of thing. You had no medical records, Anna. There are some things I need to know."

He's the closest thing I have to a family? Is that how he sees himself? But he had no right. No right. And he knows this wasn't my first suicide attempt. "What did he tell you?" I ask through my teeth.

"Not much. Just that you are scared to get close to people, scared to trust them. He said you are inclined toward violence. He said you are nineteen, but if I asked, there was no way I'd get you to tell me that." She shrugs. "That's it. He apologized that he didn't know much and explained that he hasn't known you long and that you've spent most of that time avoiding him." I can't imagine why I would avoid him.

But that's it? He didn't tell her? "That's all? Really?"

"Yes, Anna. Nothing else."

"He didn't tell you this wasn't my first attempted suicide?" She's my psychiatrist; it's not as though she doesn't already know I'm potentially suicidal.

Genuine surprise crosses her face, then concern. Slowly she says, "No. He didn't mention that." After a minute or two of silence, she asks, "Is there a reason you weren't seeing a psychiatrist until after this attempt?"

Disapproval of Kurama's judgment. I like it. Too bad it's only because she thinks he knew me when I first tried to kill myself and didn't make me see a doctor then. "I was," I answer. "You're my third psychiatrist. And you're also the only one I haven't hated." Mainly because I'm finding it very difficult to hate her.

"Why do you think Shuichi didn't tell me any of this?"

Even I can tell this is a loaded question. But I can't tell what her intent is. "He didn't know I was seing a doctor. My first suicide attempt was four years ago."

"I see. Why do you think he didn't tell me about the first try, though? It sounds as though he knows."

Why didn't he tell? "I didn't mean to tell him. It just came out. I don't actually remember telling him. He wants me to trust him."

She nods, asking, "Would you mind telling me why you stopped going to your last doctor?"

"I ran away from home," I reply simply. Wait. Why'd I answer that? How'd she get me to answer any of those questions? I narrow my eyes and shake my head. "You're good at this."

She smiles. "I try my best."

I don't know why I'm not angry with her. Maybe it's the fact that she didn't trick me into answering. She did nothing more than ask the questions. "How much longer?" I ask.

She looks at her watch. "About two minutes."

Okay. We sit in silence until her watch beeps, at which point I stand and leave. "Goodbye, Anna," she says. "I will see you next week."

I can barely keep myself from returning the farewell. But I don't want to like her.

**Kurama POV**

She walks out looking more than a little confused. She sees me and immediately asks, "Did you just wait here the entire time?"

"Yes," I tell her. "It's not like I have somewhere else I need to be."

She doesn't respond. In fact, she doesn't say anything else until after I've started the car. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"Hm?" What didn't I tell her?

"Why didn't you tell her I'd tried suicide before?" Dr. Takei actually got her to discuss something? I thought that would take more than one week.

"You were drunk when you told me," I answer, not looking at her. "I didn't feel it was my place to tell her anything you wouldn't have told me sober." In other words, I don't want her to be angry with me. Which she doesn't seem to be; she seems more confused.

"The trust factor?" she finally asks.

I nod. "That was a lot of it."

"Just give it up," she says.

I shake my head. "No."

She looks at me. "Why not?"

"I won't give up until you trust me."

She slouches down in her seat and crosses her arms. "I've noticed. Well, you can stop trying so hard. I'm not so stupid as to think you're not gaining my trust no matter how I try to stop it," she grumbles.

I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. What she just said…that is definitely Anna-speak for the fact that she doesn't want to, but she does trust me. At least a little.

* * *

There you have it. Anna and Dr. Takei.

Foxgirl Ray: Glad you're still enjoying it! What's your theory about Jake? Please tell me! I wanna know!

Angel of Randomosity: Yep, Anna defintely is a piece of work...

animegrlsteph: I hope this chapter isn't so sad. Although I don't quite remember...oh yeah.


	21. Twenty

**I Can Go Where No One Else Can Go**

**Kurama POV**

We get home, and she is immediately out of the car and back inside. Probably back to her room. It took so much persuasion to get her to switch rooms. Then she decided she wanted mine, although I think that was just her trying to be difficult. Not that she really has to try to achieve that. At any rate, I gave her the room and moved one room down the hall.

I step inside. Botan is flying around the room arranging sofas and chairs. Keiko and Yukina are helping her, although at a much more relaxed pace. They have set Yusuke and Kuwabara to work preparing a projector and a dvd player.

Shizuru walks over to me and, before I can even ask, says, "Botan had the idea that we should have a movie night tomorrow rather than the party that usually happens. The idea's not half bad, actually."

No, it's not. "What can I do?" I ask.

Shizuru laughs. "Botan was complaining about the lack of selection in Genkai's personal collection. Keiko, Yusuke and my brother are going to bring theirs tomorrow but given what Yusuke and Kazu like, I doubt that'll add much variety."

I chuckle. "Okay. I'll go grab mine and see if I can borrow Shiori's. Then I'll go check discount stores and such."

"Take Anna with you." I look at her, and she says innocently, "I thought she might like to pick some out."

Like I needed an excuse to bring her along.

The next day…

Everyone shows up as usual. And they all seem fine with the idea of a movie night. As long as we have snacks. We all settle into our seats, the popcorn, candy and other junk already starting to disappear. No one is sitting next to me.

Botan suddenly pops up in front of the screen. She has a basket in her hand. "I wrote everyone's name on a slip of paper," she says cheerfully. "Whoever's name gets drawn gets to pick the next movie since there are way too many of us to each pick one. If you don't care, you can pass." She stops then asks, "Where's Anna?"

"Her room," I say. She's been there all day. "I'll go get her."

I get to Anna's room, and the door opens before I can even knock. "Okay. I'll come. I was hoping you'd forget about me."

She felt my presence and knew what I wanted. That's Anna for you. She follows me back to the main room, where Botan is starting Yusuke's movie choice. I sit back down, and after a moment of looking around, she takes the only available seat. The one right next to me.

Yusuke's movie is a predictable action film, with a lot of fighting and much more fake blood than is strictly necessary. Next, Botan picks a chick flick. If my name is drawn, what movie do I want to watch? After that Chu and Shizuru pick an action-adventure film and a horror movie, respectively. Then—"Anna, what movie do you want to watch?"

She gets up and picks a movie. Botan looks at her a moment, then smiles. It starts playing. Anna chose _The Lion King_. I can't say I was expecting that.

"Why the Lion King?" I ask when it's over.

"It was my favorite when I was little." She sighs. "Sometimes it's nice to be able to pretend you're a little kid again. It's nice to pretend none of the bad stuff has happened." Her past…where do the good memories end and the bad ones begin?

Juri picks a horror movie. But where Shizuru's was an older one whose fright factor lay in the fact that it left everything to your imagination, this is a newer one that is all blood and guts. Most of us laugh through the whole thing. It's hard to take a movie like that seriously when you've lived through the atrocities of the Dark Tournament.

Anna is one of the few who doesn't laugh. That's because she falls asleep ten minutes into the movie. She's not the only one, either. Yukina is asleep, her head on Kuwabara's shoulder, who is looking quite pleased with himself. Link is snoring. Toya and Ruka are both asleep as well. So she's not the only one not to make it through all the movies.

But she is the only one to slump over onto my left arm. By the time Juri's blood-and-guts movie is over, my arm is asleep. But if I move it, I'll wake her up.

"Uhhh…" I say to Botan as she puts in Keiko's chick flick. "What do I do?"

Botan glances at Anna. "Nothing. Just wait for her to wake up, or you can move, which will probably wake her up."

"My arm is asleep."

"So?" Keiko asks. And she's right. It's a choice between Anna's comfort and my own. And I think the two of them already know which I'm going to choose.

Halfway through Keiko's movie, my arm goes completely numb. No more pins and needles, just numbness. "Yusuke, toss me one of those throw pillows," I hiss. He does, and I place it on my lap and gently ease Anna over so her head rests on it. Ow. Why is it that it's uncomfortable to lose the feeling in your arm, but it actually hurts to get it back?

As I move her from my arm to the pillow, she wakes up a little bit. "Kurama," she says quietly. "Thanks for stopping me. You were right. I didn't want to die."

I smile and nod, and she falls back to sleep. I like this. The last two nights I haven't slept well. I knew she was alone in her room, and I didn't know if she might try again. I don't think she will. But fear is irrational. It doesn't care for logical arguments or detailed observations. I logically believe she won't attempt suicide again, but I'm still afraid.

I soon start to drift to sleep as well.

The next morning…

Ow. My neck. Where am I? Oh, yeah. I fell asleep on the couch. Where's Anna? I walk to the kitchen. Botan's there. How can she have so much energy? "Have you seen Anna?" I ask her.

She nods. "She left just a few minutes ago."

"Left?" That doesn't sound good.

"Yep. She walked out onto the porch and down the steps. I'm surprised she stayed away from the forest this long."

What? She went back to the forest? No. This isn't good. This is bad, very bad. It's like I told her; if she tries to kill herself out there, no one will find her. I move toward the door, and Botan says, "Don't, Kurama. She asked me to tell you that if you follow her, she will murder you and never come back." She waits a moment before adding, "She told me she's coming back in a few days, that she just needs to think some things over. I think she missed the forest."

I breathe in, calming myself. She said thank you last night. Remember that, Kurama. "Yes," I reply eventually. "I think you're right." The only problem is, now _I_ miss _her_.

Anna POV

I didn't realize how much I missed this. I rub my hand over the bark of the nearest tree. I like being back here. It's calming. As a whole, the forest rarely changes much, beyond the cycling of the seasons. That sameness is comforting.

It helps me. Because right now, I'm so confused. Dr. Takei I cannot even begin to understand. She seems to care about me. She hardly knows me. But my confusion over Dr. Takei is hardly important.

I haven't the slightest clue what my feelings toward Kurama are. I feel like he really does love me. But I thought that Connor loved me too. Yet I can't help but trust Kurama. He's always there when I need him—whether or not I want him to be. I feel something that's like… I don't know! The closest thing I can think of is how I felt about Connor…but that's not it exactly. I loved Connor until I found out what a jerk he is. At least I thought I loved him. But now I'm not sure.

Because this is the same emotion I felt, but it is much stronger. I don't understand. Well, I do. It means that if I let myself believe Kurama will stay with me, that he'll never leave me, it'll hurt even more when it proves false.

I sit up against a tree. I like it out here. So calm. So alone. No one else. It's nice.

* * *

I only own Anna and Dr. Takei.

Melancholy-Symphony: It should be simple to understand. I'm trying my hardest to make this story sound like a train of thought. People (at least not me) don't think in long flowery sentences that are difficult to understand. Simplistically compelling does make sense.

animegrlsteph: please please please use some punctuation. It is so difficult for me to understand what you're trying to tell me. I never said it was supposed to be sad. Ever. Dr. Takei is ridiculous. Ugh. PUNCTUATION.

Angel of Randomosity: I told you not to doubt Dr. Takei. She is pretty awesome.


	22. Twenty One

**I Know What No One Else Knows**

_Six days later…_

**Anna POV**

I should probably go back. It's been six days since I left. That means it's around noon on Friday. I have to go see Dr. Takei in a few hours. And I actually don't mind.

I arrive at the stairs. I'm going to miss being here. Ah well. I can come back out whenever I feel like it. I stop. I really don't want to walk up those stairs. I really don't want to face Kurama. Because being out here alone made me realize just how close I am to giving in and falling in love with him.

He appears at the top of the stairs. "Anna!" he calls. He looks and sounds relieved. Why was he so worried? I can take care of myself. He flies down the stairs and states the obvious. "I was worried about you," he says, hugging me. I stiffen. He immediately lets go. Looking ashamed he adds, "Sorry. I forgot myself. Forgive me?"

Oh yeah you did. Completely inappropriate. I take a deep breath and ignore his request. Instead I ask, "Have you been waiting up there since I left?"

"No." I look at him, and after a few moments, he averts his eyes. He's lying. "Yes," he mutters. Then he adds, rather defensively, "I went inside at night."

I snort. "Why?"

"I was worried," he says again.

"_Why_?"

We reach the top of the steps, and he turns to face me. "I told you the best place to kill yourself would be the forest where no one would find you. If you hadn't come back, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself." So he wasn't worried about something happening on accident; he was worried about something happening on purpose. I guess I can't blame him for that.

He stares at me. I refuse to look away. His eyes are so green, so kind, so intense. How can his eyes possess such intensity, such fire? How can they be so fiercely protective? Is it something to do with the fact that he's a demon? How is it I can be so close to falling in love with someone who I know almost nothing about?

Suddenly he blinks, and the fire is replaced by confusion. "What?" I ask.

"You didn't attack me when I hugged you."

I didn't? No, I didn't. I hadn't noticed. I just ask, "What time is it?"

"A bit past one."

I nod, swing my hand back and slap him. "What was that for?" he objects loudly.

"You hugged me."

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and presses his lips together. He nods, as though it should have been obvious. Why do I get the feeling that he's trying not to laugh at me? "I'm hungry," I tell him.

I guess he can't control his amusement any longer because he starts laughing. "What?" I snap.

He manages to stop laughing and say, "I was just thinking about how predictably unpredictable you are being." What is that even supposed to _mean_?

After a moment, he takes my hand and begins pulling me inside. "Let's get you some real food."

Why can't I pull my hand away? He certainly won't let go. He probably doesn't even realize he is violating my no-contact rule. But my arm won't respond.

He leads me inside, where Shizuru asks me, "Anna, are you aware he's holding your hand?" I grimace and nod. So she asks, "Kurama, are you aware you are holding her hand?"

He glances down and freezes. Nope. He hadn't noticed. Feeling suddenly returns to my arm, and I dig my nails into the back of his hand. He jerks back. "Ow," he says weakly.

Shizuru laughs at us.

_Three hours later…_

I don't think I'll be able to sit down. I am so…uhhh! I pace back and forth as Dr. Takei closes the door and sits down. She says nothing. So I do. "I am so…frustrated!"

"With what?" Why is she so calm?

"Nothing. Everything. My life. Myself. Everyone else. I don't know. I'm just frustrated." I take a deep breath. I sit and say as calmly as possible, "Why don't you tell me more about you."

She nods. "I—" she begins, but I'm already on my feet, pacing again, so she stops.

"I don't understand! I tried so hard! I don't want to like any of them. I don't want to like you. And after that disaster with Connor, I can't fall in love with him. I just can't do it." Connor. That bastard. "Ugh!" I shout. "He told me he loved me. And I loved him. But the moment I gave him what he really wanted, he dumped me." Not that what happened with Connor was the worst of it. Not even close.

"I dealt with that crap. I can take a lot more than that. My mother left when I was twelve. _Twelve_. Just packed her bags and basically told my dad, 'I don't love you anymore, and Anna and Jake don't mean enough to me to make me stay.' How in hell is a twelve year old supposed to take the fact that her mother hates her dad more than her mother loves her? I don't know. But I never cried."

I take a breath and continue screaming at her. Dr. Takei just sits and listens as I pace back and forth. "For two years my father raised us. Then those two morons murdered him. All he was doing was trying to protect us. So they shot him. And the police never even found out who did it!"

"And then I moved away because of social services. After that my boyfriend and friends just kind of fell away. They somehow managed to keep me and my brother together and stuck us with the Carls. Then Connor came and screwed everything up!" I can feel the tears running down my face, but I don't care.

"But I stayed. I tried. Jake needed me, and I needed him. But he didn't care. He started the drugs. And when they found out, the Carls got rid of us." They didn't care about us. At least not enough to put up with our issues. So we got sent off to the Swifts.

"Jake continued the drugs no matter what I or anyone else did or said. His mind was _gone_. He abandoned me just like everyone else. That was it. I attempted suicide. Mr. Swift found me, they pumped my stomach and all that crap. Then the psychiatrists! I hated them both. So I ran away."

I'm breathing heavily, but Dr. Takei doesn't stop me. So I continue, even though my voice is starting to hurt from all the shouting. "And then they found me. And no matter how I try, it's impossible not to like them! He doesn't care what I do or say. It doesn't matter. He doesn't get offended or angry. He still loves me. Or at least seems to. And I'm starting to believe he's not just pretending. But that hardly matters. He could just as easily fall out of love with me!"

I stop. Then I scream through my teeth. "I need to break something!"

"Just don't hurt yourself."

What? That's all she has to say? My rage somehow dissipates. I sink into a chair.

"I thought you were going to throw something, break a couple of things," she says.

"I said something similar to my other psychiatrists," I say quietly. "The first basically told me, you break it, you buy it." I stop. If you doesn't ask, I won't say it.

"What did you do?" Oh. She asked. Great. I should probably answer.

"I broke his nose."

She looks as though she finds this amusing, but she doesn't say anything other than, "And your other doctor?"

"Begged me not to break anything. So I didn't, but I didn't say another word, and I ran away the next day."

"So why didn't you break any of my things?"

I hesitate. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't. "I think it's because you are more concerned about your patient than your stuff."

She smiles gently. "As it should be."

"I know why I'm frustrated." I do. I know. She waits, so I add, "No matter how I try, I think I'm falling in love with Kurama."

**Kurama POV**

Why is she shouting so much? I'm not sure if that should worry me or not. It means she has a lot of pent up anger or frustration. But it also means she's getting it all out, without physically harming me. At least not yet. Who knows what she'll be like once she's done talking to Dr. Takei. The thing I'm most worried about is I can't make out everything she says, but the names stand out. Jake. Connor. And my own. Why is she shouting about me?

The door swings open, and she comes out, looking slightly frustrated, slightly confused and slightly relieved.

On the way to the car, I ask, "Anything you need to talk about?"

"No."

Of course not. Well she might have something she needs to talk about. But nothing she wants to talk about. Especially not with me. "You want to go get some ice cream?"

She hesitates, then climbs into the car. "Yes."

* * *

Well, there you have it. I hoped you all enjoyed learning a little bit more about Anna. Anyway, I only own Anna and Dr. Takei.

Kaori Minamin: Thanks for the review. It's nice to see new names. Yes...Kurama is kind of turning into an idiot. At one point, one of them does make a reference to him acting like a stalker (that's a few chapters from now though). I am having a lot of fun writing Kurama in this not-so-calm manner. Just as a warning, eventually it will become necessary for me to be very mean to him, or the story will never come to a satisfactory conclusion. As for Dr. Takei, I'm kind of just making that up as I go (I am not a psych major), so if there are any inaccuracies, I apologize.

Foxgirl Ray: It's almost frightening how much your predictions follow what I have planned out (or already written)... Next chapter "our lovely kitsune's other side" as you put it, comes up. Yay! ;) As for the lack of enemies, there are enemies. However, this story is much more psychological. The enemy is Anna's past and her...inability to show love. Hope that helps some.

animegrlsteph: glad you liked it. and i went to answer the reviews for this chapter, and I about had a heart attack because i thought i had missed one of the a past to be forgotten reviews. but it was the review you sent to the chapter i posted to day. wow...i fail.


	23. Twenty Two

**Here I Am Just A-Drowning In Rain**

**Kurama POV**

She eats her ice cream slowly. She doesn't say anything, so neither do I. I just eat my ice cream and watch as she takes miniscule bites of hers. She chose chocolate. I didn't expect something so…ordinary. For some reason, I've come to see Anna as this person who never follows the norm. But that's not true. She just doesn't follow any norms for the sake of fitting in. And as a result, she surprises me by picking a completely boring flavor of ice cream. I don't understand her. I start figuring her out, and it's like she finds a stick of dynamite on the side of the road and blows up all the conclusions I've come to. And it's never on purpose, as far as I can tell. Maybe I should just accept that I'll most likely never figure her out and be finished with this confusion. But that's a lot easier said than done.

Without warning she asks, "Why do you live two separate lives?" I stare at her as she stirs the air in her empty ice cream cup. After a long silence, she looks up. I still can't find words. She's asking me about…me? She adds, "Yusuke and Hiei are demons, but they don't pretend otherwise. Kuwabara can do some pretty weird things. None of them has more than one name. So why do you?"

The strangest thing is, the last question isn't accusatory. She is simply wondering. I finally say, "It wasn't my choice, Anna." She doesn't say anything, so I continue, "I was a thief. But then I crossed paths with a powerful bounty hunter. He injured me. I was forced to shift into—"

"Shift?" she asks. I always forget how little she really knows about my world. About me.

But how to explain… "I was—am—a fox demon. One of the primary abilities of a fox demon is shape shifting." I pause, and she nods her understanding. She's paying attention, yet she looks almost bored. How does she do that? Hide what she's thinking so well? I go on, "I changed into soul form and fled. But I hadn't the strength to change back. So I possessed the soulless embryo of the human who became Shuichi."

"Okay." How can she be so calm? I do not understand.

"Then some complicated things happened. I'll tell you eventually if you want me to. But the result was I regained the form of the fox. For the most part, I'm in this form by choice. It's also easier to maintain than the fox demon." I don't know why; that's just how it is. "But I can switch between the two."

For nearly a minute and a half she doesn't say anything. Then, "Could you show me?"

I look into her eyes. She looks perfectly sincere. I do not understand. Why is she suddenly so… not curious exactly. There is no real curiosity in her eyes. It's closer to someone finding something vaguely fascinating but only in a purely scientific sense. Is that what I am to her? A scientific oddity she's grown slightly attached to? I know she likes me, even if it's not enough to make her stay forever. At least I think she likes me. But what if she doesn't? What if she just finds me a curiosity? An anomaly that needs to be explained? I feel so… insignificant. A high school experiment that can be thrown away once it's been finished. That's all I am to her. I feel like I'm being smothered. I'm nothing more than a scientific peculiarity. Did she even finish high school? I don't think so…

But… I don't think I care that she sees me like that. All that matters is that she cares enough to notice. All that matters is that she's interested enough to ask. That counts for something, doesn't it? "Yes," I finally answer. I can show her. Not only that, I think… I think I _want_ to show her. "Just not here. Back at the temple."

She nods, and we fall silent. After several minutes, she stands and throws her trash away. I follow her example, and we head out to the car.

As I drive down the highway, I ask her, "I told you about my past. Is there any way I can get you to tell me anything about your past?" I have a feeling I already know the answer.

She sighs and looks away from me, staring out her window. After a couple minutes she says, "Probably." I was wrong.

I wait, and she doesn't say anything else. Finally I ask, "Are you going to tell me anything?"

"You asked if there was anything you could do to get me to talk." Yes I did. Anna would take that question literally. She then says, "I'm sure there are multiple ways you could get it out of me, although the most effective method would probably be to get me drunk. But after the last time, I am never touching alcohol again."

The last time…yes. That was bad. Well, kind of. I may not be drunk, but my feelings for her haven't changed. How it felt to be kissing her hasn't changed. I wish I could have that again. But only if…I only want it if she really wants it too. I only want it if she's sober when she wants it. "Will you tell me about your past?" I ask. "All I want is to understand."

She looks at me for a long moment. "My mother abandoned us when I was twelve. My father was murdered in an armed robbery two years later. Then Jake got into drugs when he was sixteen and I was fifteen. That's when I tried to kill myself. A little more than two years later I ran away. That's it." She didn't even mention the boy called Connor. I wonder why.

And what about her time in the forest? Is that significant at all? "What about the forest?"

"What about it?"

"How did you survive?"

"I somehow just…knew which plants were safe. I could get injured, and I'd find a plant that could help heal me. I don't know how or why. That's just the way it was." So her self-preservation abilities go beyond escape? Anna is truly like no one I've ever met.

"Your spiritual rather than physical instincts helped you survive." I add, "I think."

"You mean to say my sixth sense led me to what I needed?"

"…Yes."

"Cool. I always thought it was luck. Now I can say I did it on my own."

Why does she have to be so independent? She can take care of herself without anyone's help, but that doesn't mean she should rely on no one. We finish the drive home in silence.

We get out of the car, and she doesn't go inside. She simply stands there, staring at me, waiting. I walk around the car and say, "Okay, here we go." I force the fox demon out. I don't get why it's difficult; it should be either easy or impossible. And it's even harder now than normal. Perhaps that's because I only use the fox demon in high-pressure situations.

She takes a step back and breathes, "You're so much more _there_. More solid somehow." What? I am lost. But she goes on, "All flecks and traces of a human aura are gone. You seem so much more sure of yourself." Oh. My aura is stronger like this. That's what she's talking about.

I watch her. She crosses the eight feet between us and stands on her tiptoes to look into my eyes. She normally isn't that much shorter than me, but I'm several inches taller than normal in this form. She examines my eyes, my face. My heart is beating faster than I thought possible. She's so _close_. It's easier to maintain this form with my heart beating like this. The adrenaline? She's so _close_. It is taking all the self-control I possess not to lean forward and kiss her. _She's so close_.

Ignore her, Kurama. Focus on something else. Focus on… Focus on… There's nothing else _to_ focus on. Not with her this close. She pulls away, and I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. She walks behind me, and I follow her with my eyes as best I can. She has absolutely no reaction to my tail, just a continuation of that slight fascination. What is she _thinking_?

She comes back around and faces me. Suddenly she reaches out and pokes my shoulder as if to see if I'm real. Then a small amount of real curiosity covers her beautiful features. She reaches up, and even though I know exactly what she intends to do, I twitch involuntarily when she touches my ear.

She bites her lip, obviously restraining a smile of amusement at this reflex. Then she steps back, evidently satisfied. "That is so _weird_," she says.

Honestly, I'm slightly irritated. I let myself shift back to Shuichi and say, "As though you're one to talk." I say it more harshly than I intend, but she doesn't blink. She just stares at me a moment before turning and walking towards the house.

Over her shoulder she calls, "I'm not the one who just grew ears and a tail." I stare after her as she disappears inside. She makes a very good point.

After a minute, I follow her. Shizuru meets me at the door. She tells me, "You're finally realizing that if you show her your past, she might reveal some of hers to you."

"Since you all made me realize I'm in love with her, I haven't had any reservations on telling her," I reply. "But I didn't want to force the information on her if she didn't want to know."

"She asked about it?"

"Yes. And she answered some of my questions about her past. Not in great detail, but she did answer." She did answer. She trusts me a little bit. She's opening up to me a little bit more.

"I'm surprised. When she first came back, I told her I knew she wouldn't give in, that you were breaking your own heart." How is that relevant? Shizuru gives me a small smile. "You're making progress, Kurama. Despite her best efforts and what I thought would happen, you are slowly winning her affection."

* * *

Weeellllllllll...As is usual, I own Anna and Dr. Takei. Now to give an answer to all of my absotively posolutely FANTABULOUS reviewers...

Foxgirl Ray: I'm glad you're enjoying the more psychologically based story! It's actually a lot of fun for me to write because I'm not very good with describing fight scenes and such. As for Jake, yes, drugs. When you take into account what her family was like (and her life in general), Anna's behavior actually starts to make a little bit of sense...She comes from a really screwed up family. Thanks for the review!

Angel of Randomosity: How'd you like Anna's reaction to youko? And yes, her life is complicated (not that she helps with that much...). As for giving it two or three chapters...I think you may be underestimating Anna's desire to avoid getting hurt again.

FallenAngelx3: Glad you liked the overview of Anna's life. That will all come into play later *hint hint*

animegrlsteph: me thinking i had missed a review wasn't your fault. it's just cause i'm stupid like that... Anna is so much fun to write when she's really angry. And, quite honestly, you haven't seen her get REALLY angry yet. frustrated, yes. angry, yes. completely and totally pissed, no. So much fun to write.

vicmignognaismyhero1234: yes, a bit out of character. then again...she's confused about everything and is losing her sense of identity so who really knows what she'll do next? Glad you found it funny and serious. (serious content with amusing presentation is what i was going for. based on your review, i achieved that, which makes me happy. :) )


	24. Twenty Three

**With a Ticket For a Runaway Train**

_The next evening…_

**Kurama POV**

While everyone else is being loud, Anna is sitting in the corner with Hiei, saying nothing. I walk over and sit down next to her. "Hey."

She looks at me. "Hello." Her voice is guarded. Because of what she told me yesterday…? Or because of what I showed her? Or for some other reason entirely?

"Something wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I'm just conflicted."

"Conflicted?"

She sighs and nods. "I don't want to like any of you. I don't want to form an attachment of any of you. But I have. I do like you." She sighs again. And in that last sentence she switched to the singular. Was that intentional, or am I reading too much into it? She looks up at me and says, "I'd forgotten how nice it is to have a friend."

She considers me her friend? Really? She smiles. I don't know how to define that smile. A little happy, a little frustrated, a little confused. "It is nice to have friends," I say.

She nods. "I'm going back to the forest tomorrow to try and resolve my issues. Don't spend all your time waiting for me. I promise I'll come back." She's leaving again…

I don't respond, and she doesn't speak again. We watch everyone else for nearly half an hour before she breaks the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

Of course. Anything. Anything at all. "Every question you ask, I get to ask you one." Will this work? It being Anna, I'm not sure.

She hesitates then says, "Fine. But I can pass on any of the questions." That's not fair; she could just say pass on all of them, and I would learn nothing. She seems to realize this because she reluctantly adds, "But if I pass I guess you can ask another. But I get to ask first." She pauses then mutters, "All this for one stupid question."

Only one? "Fair enough," I respond.

"Your eyes," she begins. She wants to ask me about my _eyes_? "They say eyes are the windows to the soul. How can your eyes—your soul—be so caring, so strong, so protective, and how can they burn with such intensity?"

She can get all that from my eyes? For someone who says she hates people, she sure is good at reading them and their emotions. Especially mine. Which all supports my belief that she actually cares about people a lot. After a long silence, I respond, "The reason for what they show is nothing less than the fact that I love you, Anna. I don't want anything to happen to you. As for the intensity…I wasn't aware of it. The only reason I can think of is the fact that I'm over a thousand years old. Genuine emotions taking hold of you in a significant way when you've lived that long…it's a rare thing. Nothing surprises you. Well, almost nothing. But when something does manage to draw out a real emotion, it's stronger than anything I can describe."

She stares at me, analyzing my answer. Finally she says, "Your turn."

What I really want to know is… But it might make her angry. But she has the pass option. She doesn't have to answer… "Who is Connor?" She looks alarmed. "You shouted his name several times at the psychiatrist's. You were being quite loud." Why do I sound so guilty? I did nothing wrong.

But once I explain where I got the name, she relaxes. I guess she was worried I was spying on her or something. Quietly she says, "He's an old boyfriend. Not the first but definitely the last. I gave up on men after that." Is Connor the reason she's so afraid to get close to people? Is he the reason she won't even give me a chance? If that's true, I might have to kill him. He broke her heart, and now she's like this.

After a moment, I am surprised to hear her continue, "I was fifteen. I was young and stupid. He was seventeen and handsome. He said he loved me, and I believed him. I loved him, even. But he only wanted one thing, and once he got it, he was gone." She says it quietly. Then quite unexpectedly she asks, "Were you ever in love with anyone? Have you ever had your heart broken?"

In love? In lust, most definitely. But in love? Never before Anna. Slowly I reply, "There were always women. But I never really loved any of them. I said I did. And they all pretended to believe me, but we always knew it wasn't true. And since I have never loved, my heart cannot have been broken." Occasionally it does feel like it's being torn in two, but that is only because Anna keeps pushing me away. "Do I get another question?"

"Technically, that was it, but I'll give you another since I actually asked two."

I smile. There are so many things I love about her. So many reasons I'm going a thousand miles per hour down this new and dangerous track. "I know you tried to kill yourself when you were fifteen. Is Connor the reason for that?"

She thinks a moment then says, "Actually…no. Connor pushed me toward it, sure." How can she sound so matter-of-fact? "But my brother and the drugs are the direct reason. I was getting over Connor, forcing him to join the other parts of my crappy past when I tried to kill myself the first time." She stops then adds, "You remind me of him, you know."

What? She says it in a positive tone, but I can't see how it could be anything but negative after what happened. "Connor?" I ask, trying to keep how hurt I feel out of my voice and off my face.

"God no," she says. "Jake. You remind me of Jake before the drugs took control. He cared about me, protected me no matter what I did. I told him what happened, and he went out and beat Connor up. He was the only person in the world I trusted. And just like that, he was gone. There but not there." She looks so sad. I wish I could do something to make her feel better.

Without consciously deciding to, I scoot toward her and put my arm around her shoulder. She looks at me. It looks as though she wants to smile and cry at the same time. "It's like you _know_. When I was sad, this is how Jake would hold me. It was weird how close we were. More like best friends than brother and sister. And he would hold me just like this. He would never say anything because he knew there was nothing to say."

She closes her eyes and leans into me slightly, reliving the times with her brother. The times when she had someone she felt she could truly trust.

I guess there are worse people she could compare me to.

* * *

I only own Anna and Dr. Takei (not that that's a new development or anything). Now for reviews. There were quite a few this time around...

Kaori Minamino: Glad you caught on the 'he thinks she thinks' bit. He is a bit blind to what Anna is actually thinking. And I agree, he is a sweetheart. On the subject of how Anna is acting: she does care. She cares a lot. She just doesn't want Kurama to know she cares. Does that clear it up or make it more confusing?

animegrlsteph: if you think about it, Anna is kind of like a little kid. at least in the fact that she doesn't have good people skills yet. and what would you do if you were faced with something like that? you've got to give Anna some points for being able to hide what she's thinking so effectively...

Foxgirl Ray: BEST THING EVER. I was at a loss for a chapter in the future (like WAAAAAAY far in the future, like chapter 50, or something ridiculous like that). Now, I hadn't even thought of how Anna would react to Kurama's past as a whole... Thanks for the idea. And cruel is definitely a good word.

Alaska-Pixie: glad you like Anna so much. she is one of those characters who just writes herself...half the time, even I don't know what she's going to do next. by the twist on Kurama, do you mean how he has to chase after her rather than the other way around like it normally is? If that's the case...yeah, that's Anna for you.

Angel of Randomosity: yep, Kurama and Dr. Takei are making progress. Let's see where it goes from here.


	25. Twenty Four

**And Everything Seems Cut and Dry**

**Anna POV**

I love them both so much. Kurama and Jake. But I can't let myself love Kurama any more than this. I can love him, that's a lost cause. But I can't be in love with him. If he's just a friend or a brother to me, it will still hurt when something goes wrong but not as much. There may be betrayal, but there won't be a way for him to use me.

What surprises me is that he admitted to having had other women. I thought he'd deny it. I mean, I already knew. He's told me he is around twelve hundred years old. To assume or pretend there weren't women would be foolish.

I don't know how long I sit leaned up against him with his arm around my shoulder. I miss Jake so much.

I sit up and pull away from him. He removes his arm from my shoulder, and I say, "If I'm not back by Friday, don't worry. I'll get myself to Dr. Takei's." I stand. I can't wait until tomorrow. I have to get away from him _now_. I can feel his eyes follow me as I leave, but he doesn't try to stop me.

**Kurama POV**

I watch her go. No one else notices. Despite what Shizuru said, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. She just keeps pushing me away. I don't understand it. "Why won't she stop pushing me away?" I mutter to myself.

"Either shut up or go away," Hiei says suddenly. I look at him, and he adds, "I don't want to listen to you wallow in misery and self-pity. It's disgusting."

"What?"

"Anna sits over here and never says anything, which is perfectly fine by me. But I can sense her general mood. At first it was always tense and negative. But lately it's been positive and negative and a bunch of other things. But she still keeps it to herself. Unlike you, fox boy. You're happy until she leaves, then you get depressed. It's pathetic. And you can't even keep it to yourself. And it's not like she's really pushing you away. You just hugged her, and she never retaliated."

His words are so harsh. But he's right. She never got mad at me for touching her. Does that mean she isn't really pushing me away, that's just how I'm interpreting it?

"It's disgusting how hopeful you are now," Hiei mutters.

_Friday, seven thirty p.m..._

Anna suddenly walks in. Finally. I couldn't help but worry. I didn't wait on the porch. But I still worried. "Anna!" I say standing up.

"Hey." She collapses on a couch. She looks at me. "I don't understand why you worried."

I grimace. Of course she knows. "I tried to relax. I tried not to worry. I failed."

"Obviously."

"Did you go to your appointment?" I change the subject.

"Yes," she answers. "I caught a ride from a lady in a pickup truck."

"You _hitchhiked_?" I knew there was a reason I should be worried.

"Sure. That's how I got from place to place back in the states. If I get a bad feeling about someone, I tell them I'm walking cross-country and I just want to know where I am." She shrugs. "It works. No one's ever tried anything." I always forget. Self-preservation is Anna's thing.

She stands. "Well, I must be going." What? She's leaving already? Then she finishes, "I _really_ need a shower. Dr. Takei didn't say anything, but I could tell she thought I smelled bad." Oh. She's not leaving. She's just leaving the room. That's okay.

**Anna POV**

While I was out there I realized… Kurama sees the world in a different way than I do.

It's like everything's in black and white to him. Either I'm in love with him, or I don't love him at all. He can't see that I _do_ love him, despite my best efforts. He can't see that, right now, I can only keep myself from falling for him by letting him hold Jake's position, so I can love him as a brother rather than… But I don't know how long it will work. Its effectiveness is already starting to fade. It's all so confusing. And none of it is black or white. All of it is foggy and colored in shades of gray.

I don't understand how he got past my defenses. I was careful, meticulous even. There shouldn't have been any holes. But he found one. Or made one.

I don't know! All I know is that I care about him no matter how I try not to.

I turn off the water, dry and dress. I step out of the bathroom, and he is there, waiting for me. "That's really creepy," I tell him. Yet for some reason, I'm not angry. And that frustrates me.

He looks at me, trying to see if I'm angry with him or not. He comes to a conclusion and says, "If you don't give me a chance, I might have to resort to stalking."

Did he really just say that? Yes. And I find it amusing for some strange reason. I smile. All the amusement slides off his face. His eyes flicker all across my face. Then he smiles. I have never seen him so obviously happy. "What?" I ask.

"You smiled," he answers.

"And that results in you grinning like a fool how?" I ask as I stop smiling.

His happiness doesn't lessen. "You've never smiled at me before. Not a smile of real happiness when you're not drunk," he says.

"You're ridiculous." I turn away before he can see my smile. Why am I happy? Because he's happy? "I'm hungry," I say. Why is my heart fluttering? More importantly, why do I have this sudden urge to kiss him?

I know why. It's because the way he seems to see the world is right. Either I'm in love with him, or I don't love him at all. And I do love him. Why do I love him?

* * *

Hurrah, hurrah, there you have it. Anna and Dr. Takei I own, the others I do not, but you guys are smart and already knew that.

Foxgirl Ray: First, if you ever have an idea I will always be happy to hear it. Or you can just rattle off randomness and it might give me an idea. Second, do you know how happy it makes me that you can say this is your favorite of my stories? That means you've read more than one. I mean, I already knew that but...never mind, I'm just confusing myself now. Glad you liked the comparison; that seemed very important to me, as far as the overall storyline goes. I'm not sure why, but it does...

Angel of Randomosity: Glad you like Anna so much! She...well, I was going to say she appreciates it, since she's one of those characters who writes herself, but I honestly haven't been very successful at getting into her head and figuring out why she does what she does... Is it bad that even I, the author, don't have any kind of control over or understanding of Anna?

animegrlsteph: Let's just see if they continue to get along, shall we?

Kaori Minamino: What will Kurama do when he doesn't have to fight for her affection? That is a very interesting question...one that I couldn't give an answer to, even if I wanted to. I am also happy you like seeing all this from both points of view. When I got ready to write this story, I wasn't sure about the perspective. It's often hard to write switching back and forth, but strangely enough this story isn't. But I'm off on a tangent. What was I even trying to say? Oh, yes. I was initially going to write this story in third person, but that didn't seem to be enough, and their perspectives are so different. But I wasn't sure if it would be effective. What am I even talking about anymore?


	26. Twenty Five

**Day and Night, Earth and Sky**

**Kurama POV**

I follow her to the kitchen. Now that I've said it out loud, I do kind of feel like I am stalking her. She opens the cabinet and pulls out a box of cereal.

I watch as she eats it. Her hair keeps falling over her shoulder, and she keeps brushing it back. Her dark eyes never leave the bowl as she spoons the food into her delicate mouth. I want to kiss her so badly.

"What made you fall in love with me?"

"What?" I ask in surprise.

"What made you fall in love with me?" she repeats. "Why do you care about me so much? Why don't you care that I'm totally messed up?"

Messed up? What does she mean? As for the rest… I don't know where to start. "I fell in love with you because your spirit is so strong. I love that about you. You're smart." She raises her eyebrows, so I go on, "I never said you make good decisions, just that you were smart. It's not as though you don't know what the good choice is and what the bad choice is."

She nods. "Good point. Go on."

"Once I was in love with you, I kept finding more reasons to love you. You can't love someone and not care about them." I hesitate. She mentioned being "messed up." Wait… she is referring to the possible psychological issues? Actually, it doesn't matter. "Anna," I say gently. "I'm finding that when you truly love someone, you don't notice their flaws so much. And when you do, it doesn't matter. You love them anyway."

Her brown eyes stare into mine. I can't look away. So for once, she averts her eyes first. She eats a few more bites of her cereal. Then she looks back up at me. Her eyes are alight with…excitement. What is she thinking?

She stands and drags me out of my chair by the sleeve of my shirt. Leaving the bowl of milk on the table, she drags me onto the porch. At the top of the stairs, she lets go of my shirt and gives me a small push. I'm not ready for it, so I have trouble not simply falling down the stairs. I make it almost to the bottom of the stairs before I lose my balance.

When she reaches the bottom of the steps I am still laying on my back. She looks me over quickly and says, "You're not hurt. Good. Come on. I want to show you something." Then she holds out her hand.

Slowly, I take it, and she helps me to my feet. She actually helps me. Then she leads me into the trees.

"Are you sure this can't wait till tomorrow?" I ask. "It's starting to get dark. I don't want us to get lost." But if we get lost, we'll be out here alone…

"I couldn't get lost out here if I tried." Probably true. I follow her for a good ten minutes before she stops.

We are next to a stream. It's fairly wide, but it's moving slowly. She sits down at its edge. "This is my favorite place out here. I thought you might like to see it."

Yes. Of course. I sit down next her, and she says, "It was next to a river I first heard you, you know."

I nod and say nothing. It's nice being out here with her, where no one else can find us.

After several minutes she stands. I guess she's ready to go back. I get up. The moment I'm on my feet, she places her palms on my chest and pushes me backward. I stumble, trip over a rock and fall backwards into the foot-deep water.

I look up at her in shock. And her eyes are on fire with amusement. She's actually having fun. I have never seen Anna like this before. But I hide how happy it makes me feel.

Instead, I sigh in mock frustration. Then I move to stand up and intentionally slip on the rocks and fall back into the cold water. She laughs. It's quiet. But she actually laughs. It's suddenly much harder to hide my joy. Then she holds her hand out. I take it and pull her in next to me.

Her laughter grows a bit louder. "I don't think I'll ever understand why I didn't see that one coming." She splashes me. "You are so obnoxious."

"Hey," I say innocently. "You pushed me in first."

She laughs and splashes me again. I send a wave crashing her way. Within minutes, we are both soaked, even though the water isn't very deep. Still laughing, she climbs out and lies on her back. I do the same.

"It's been forever since I've had that much fun," she suddenly says. I smile. I like the idea that she enjoys spending time with me, even if she won't admit it.

I glance at my watch. It's past nine. "We should probably head back. It's getting late." As much as I like not having anyone else around.

"Naw, let's not."

"What?" She wants to stay out here with me?

She rolls over onto her side to face me, propping herself up on her elbow. Her wet clothes are clinging to her body, and her hair is sticking to her face. She's so beautiful. "How long has it been since you spent a night in the forest, Kurama?"

How long? Not since before I became Shuichi. "Nineteen years," I reply.

"So let's stay out here tonight. Listen to the forest. Feel the earth beneath us and see the sky above us. Breathe in all the _life_."

I smile. She is so beautiful. And she doesn't even have to try to look like that. I nod. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

I would like to throw out the fact that I had no idea that this was coming. But I've basically given up on trying to predict what Anna will do, much less control her in any way. So there you go. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

animegrlsteph: glad you thought it was cute. how'd you like the cuteness in this chapter?

Kaori Minamino: What will Kurama do now that he doesn't have to fight for her affection? I would like to point out that he doesn't know she's in love with him. The phrase 'love is blind' comes to mind...he's so in love with her, he's blind to how she feels about him... In conclusion... yeah, they're both idiots. Glad you liked the bit with Hiei. I wasn't sure if he was talking too much there, but I did feel it was a very Hiei-type thing for him to say.

Foxgirl Ray: The reason Kurama is acting a bit strangled, as you put it, is that he never knows what Anna will do, he doesn't know where he stands with her, and he has never been in love before, so he really has no idea what he's doing. I hope that answered your question. As for Kurama seeing things in black and white, that will never be elaborated on. If you need to, go back and check to see who said that. It was Anna, not Kurama. He doesn't actually see things in black and white, that's just what she thinks. I think their relationship status on Facebook would definitely be 'it's complicated'... As for calm and calculating kitsune-yeah, I'm not sure he'll be back until he figures out Anna a little bit more. Which might not ever happen. I really don't know. Sorry.

Angel of Randomosity: Yeah you get used to them eventually. *turns to glare at Kiyoshi* Of course, only very few of my OCs write themselves like Anna. The three I'm coming up with right now are Ella, Anna and Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi came into existence...a year and a half ago, his story was completed about six months ago, and he still won't leave me alone. Glad you liked the chapter. Hope you liked this one as well!


	27. Twenty Six

**Somehow I Just Don't Believe It**

**Kurama POV**

I toss and turn all night. It's been nineteen years since I slept without a roof over my head. Even during the Dark Tournament and when I was helping Yomi prepare for war, there was shelter. I feel so vulnerable.

Anna falls asleep quickly. She is totally at ease out here. And the laughing. She's happier too. This is still her home. She may spend most of her time at the temple, but this is where she feels at home. I haven't fully understood that till now. And I can see what she loves about the forest. She wanted me to see that.

I feel the plants around us. It's odd… I can control them, but it's Anna who seems to know them. I force them into submission, I use them for my own ends. Anna lives with them. She understands at least as well as I do what is helpful and what is hurtful.

I've wanted to believe that she just came to the forest to escape us. I wanted to believe that once she trusted us, she would abandon this life. That won't happen. I see that now. Her reasons for loving the forest go beyond simply wanting to avoid people. She loves the forest for its intricate complexities and perfect balance. She loves it for its quiet beauty and endless cycles. If I am truly to stay in love with Anna, I must accept one thing. I will have to share her with the forest.

But after seeing how happy she is out here…that doesn't bother me. I just want Anna to be happy.

Dawn is breaking as I finally fall asleep.

_Two hours later…_

I wake with a start. Where's Anna? Did she just leave me out here? She wouldn't do that, would she? I don't know this forest. It'll take me longer than ten minutes to find my way out of here. Does she _want_ me to get lost?

Probably.

I stand and turn away from the stream. I turn back around to face it. Did we climb out on the side we came from or on the opposite bank? I have no idea. Crap.

Suddenly something seizes my shoulders, and I hear Anna say, "Boo!" I jump and only narrowly avoid falling back into the water. How can she move so quietly? She giggles. "Why are you so jumpy?"

I catch my breath and answer, "I didn't sleep well, I didn't know where you were, and honestly, I don't know where I am. Put all that together, and I'm a bit disoriented." It feels odd to be admitting such things aloud.

"You want to go back then?" She says it with a blankness in her voice. But then she grins again. She finds it funny that I'm so jumpy.

"No… I don't care either way. I just don't want to be out here alone. I don't have your inborn ability to recognize helpful and harmful plants. I can, but it's a conscious process with a good possibility for error." It bothers me that I've become so dependent on having a roof over my head.

"Fail."

That stings a bit. "Are we going back?"

"Why would you _want_ to go back?"

She is so genuinely confused… I wonder if my estimate of how much she loves the forest was wrong. Perhaps she loves the forest far more than I thought. Perhaps I am competing with the forest for her love… if that's the case, I feel I have no hope of winning her affection.

"Kurama?" Her voice sounds…worried? Am I delusional? I look up at her. Any enjoyment has fled her face. "Is something wrong?"

Yes. It's all wrong. I sigh, "Just realizing I'm fighting a battle I have no hope of winning is all."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," she objects. After hesitating a moment, she adds, "I don't like seeing you sad."

She doesn't like it that I'm sad? She cares? I respond, "I just…I'm competing with the forest for your time and affection." Who says things like that aloud? I love her too much to be able to keep anything from her if she asks about it. But it sounds so…jealous being said out loud. There. That's it. I'm jealous of a non-sentient being. I continue, "You love this place. You tolerate me. I can't win. I don't have a chance."

She turns very slightly pink and turns away from me. She mutters to herself, "I wouldn't bet on that." What? What's that supposed to mean? "Let's go back."

That was a quick change of mind. Only minutes ago she couldn't understand why I would want to go back. I guess it's because of me… "What did I say?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," I answer. "What did I say wrong?"

"You didn't say anything wrong," she mutters so quietly I can hardly hear her. "You didn't even say anything wholly unexpected."

"Then why are you so ready to get back all of a sudden?"

"It has nothing to do with you."

Yes it does. I can see that. I'm not blind. "You're angry with me," I say. "I just want to know what I did or said."

She stops walking toward the temple, spins around and snaps at me, "Just drop it, Kurama."

"But—" I object.

In a second she is halfway up the nearest tree. How does she climb like that? There are no visible footholds…

"How do you do that?" I ask.

"Do what?" she snaps.

"Climb like that. Walk so silently."

"The human body is an amazing thing. I see no reason to impede its fantastic abilities by wearing shoes."

"Anna, could you come down please?" I can't see her.

"No." I can hardly hear her. How high up is she?

"I'm not leaving without you." I hope that will get a response.

"If you won't leave without me, then I will leave without you. Good luck finding your way back."

What? Why does that sound so familiar? Oh… "This forest isn't teeming with personal demons."

She suddenly drops from the tree and glares at me. "Do you know where you are? How do you know I've actually been leading you toward the temple not away from it?" I don't respond. "I thought not."

She turns and walks away. I follow. I know we're heading back.

Only heading back would cause such an increase in Anna's negativity. At least I hope that's the only thing that would cause it.

* * *

Well, there you have a good example of Anna being Anna.

Kaori Minamino: Totally real, I promise. 100% real forever. I was reading your review, and I'm like what chapter did I post? There's a chapter a couple chapters from now when the reality of the scene comes into question. But I never even considered the possibility of making this scene not be real. Bigger smack in the face when he figures out how she feels? I like that...hahaha. Thanks for the review, as always.

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you think I'm an amazing writer. I'll take a look at your story, but that doesn't mean I'll know what she was talking about.

Cheshire Lee Kat: I'm glad you like the way it's written. This is one of my first attempts at a stream-of-consciousness first person pov (b/c you have SOC 1st person, and 1st person where they only tell exactly what's important). SOC makes it seem more like a person's thoughts because, in my opinion, it's less organized. And as I've said before, I do not write my stories. I write them down, sure, but the people in my head are the ones controlling what happens. That could account for why it sounds as though Anna is telling her own story: she is. Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it.

T. R. Blessing: First, thanks so much for the review. Second, I hate it when all the problems disappear. And trust me, Anna has not even BEGUN to truly address her problems. At this point, basically all she's done is admit the problems are there. Fun stuff. And I'm still trying to figure out how 'Congratulations once again, even though it probably doesn't mean much to you' could possibly be condescending... I am so confused.

Angel of Randomosity: That's the first cute scene by my record, too. There have been scenes that could be defined as 'sweet,' maybe, but none that could really be called cute. Glad Anna is confusing someone other than me and Kiyoshi. Thanks for the review!


	28. Twenty Seven

**Runaway Train Never Going Back**

**Anna POV**

Finally. He finally stops asking me what he said wrong. I told the truth. He _didn't_ say anything wrong. He did say something…not predictable exactly, but not surprising either. I'm not mad at him. How can I be mad at him for telling me the truth? I am mad at myself.

Because he's right. Since Dad died, I haven't loved anyone other than the forests and people who hurt me. And now…I love this forest. But I love Kurama too. And Kurama hasn't hurt me yet. When he said he's competing against the forest for my affection, he was right.

But he was wrong, too. He does have a chance. Right now, he's actually winning.

Which is why I'm angry with myself. I'm letting him win. I'm letting my heart take control instead of keeping my head on straight and my heart locked up safe.

_Six hours later…_

I'm thirsty. But I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to talk to Kurama. I don't want to talk to anyone. But I'm so thirsty. I need a soda or something.

I sigh and leave the room.

I am about to enter the kitchen when I hear Shizuru say my name. "Anna doesn't hate you, Kurama." I freeze where they can't see me.

He lets out a loud, frustrated breath. "It's not that she hates me. It's that she loves the forest so much there is no way I could possibly get her to leave it for me." Why is he so upset about that? I tried to make that perfectly clear from the beginning.

"You don't really believe that?" Shizuru asks.

"Yes, I do." Good. I've convinced him.

"I don't believe that she won't leave the forest for you." But I apparently haven't convinced Shizuru.

"Why?" he asks.

"She is continually leaving the forest, Kurama. You're the only one she talks to seriously and consistently. She's leaving the forest for you already."

"Not permanently." He sounds almost morose. Why do I suddenly want to tell him he's wrong? But I can't. If I admit to him I'm in love with him, it will be the same as starting a real relationship. And I can't take that again.

"Permanence will come with time," Shizuru says calmly.

"No!" he shouts. I jump. It sounds as though he jumps up too and slams his hands against he table. "It won't! Because there won't be any time! Something serious happens or starts to happen, and she runs away. She avoids me or slips back into the forest and avoids everyone! And from what I know of her past, that's what she's always done. She prefers to run away rather than face the problem!" I do?

"You think of yourself as a problem?" Shizuru asks the question calmly, almost suggesting that this view is a problem in itself.

"She doesn't want to fall in love with me." Correction: I don't want to fall in love with _anyone_. He continues, "_She _sees me as a problem. Soon, she's going to run away, and she isn't going to come back."

I don't hear Shizuru's response because I walk away. After entering my room, I close the door and sit down on my bed.

I always run away? Is that true?

Yes. It's true. Unbelievably true. Unavoidably and undeniably true.

When my mom left, I pretended I didn't care, and I never cried. When Dad died and we moved, I didn't make much of an effort to keep contact with my old friends. After Connor, I let Jake fight that fight for me. When Jake got into drugs, I tried to kill myself. When that didn't work, I ran away.

I ran away.

I always run away.

* * *

Sorry this chapter is so short. What can I do? That seemed to be the proper place to end it. As y'all already know, I own Anna and Dr. Takei. Here's my responses to my WONDERFUL reviewers...

Kaori Minamino: I really don't know where that bit came from, although it does seem kind of odd to me too. A tree house would be cute. Somehow, though, I doubt Anna would feel the same way. And she's the one writing the story. I'll see if I can somehow work that in because I really like that. :)

moani-sama: Glad your enjoying the reversed roles. I'm getting that a lot. However...I'm not quite sure how that bit came about. I'm not even sure when I decided Kurama was going to be head over heels in love with her. It all kind of just happened.

T. R. Blessing: You are probably right about Kurama reconnecting with the forest. However, I have several chapters written in advance, and it doesn't look like there is going to be another important scene in the forest any time soon. Sorry.

Cheshire Lee Kat: Glad you found that last chapter enjoyable and believable.

Angel of Randomosity: Indeed. If anyone tries to understand Anna when she doesn't want them to their head might explode. Their head might explode even if she does want them to understand... who really knows when it comes to Anna? Definitely not me.

animegrlsteph: YOU think the random mood swings are irritating? How do you think that makes me feel about them? They're not irritating; they're unbelievable frustrating because I never have the slightest clue what she's going to do next. Urgh. And how do you think it makes Kurama feel?

Foxgirl Ray: Thanks for the review. I am very glad you're still liking Anna. As for the idea of him getting lost in a forest, it's not that he's actually lost. More turned around.


	29. Twenty Eight

**Wrong Way On a One Way Track**

**Anna POV**

Calm. You must remain calm, Anna.

I walk toward the kitchen. Kurama's gone, but Shizuru is still there. I think…I think I want to talk to her about Kurama. I'd really like to talk to Dr. Takei, but I just saw her yesterday, so that is out.

I walk into the kitchen. But they never noticed me when I was listening. It would be so easy for him to listen in on our conversation. And I can't have that. He can't hear what I'm going to say. He can't hear the words I suddenly need to say out loud.

Then Shizuru asks, "Is something wrong, Anna?"

"No," I say. "Yes. I don't know. Where's Kurama?"

"He's on his way to see Shiori. After that, I told him to get the groceries. I needed him out of the house for as long as possible."

"Why?" Normally she and Kurama get along great…

"I didn't know how long it would take you to come talk to me."

"How'd you know I was going to?" I don't understand how Shizuru makes these predictions.

"He told me what happened in the forest." Of course he did. After taking a drink of whatever's in her glass, she adds, "And just because he was too worked up to realize it, I know you heard most of our conversation."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"You didn't want us to know you were there. I can't help it that I sensed your presence, and he didn't."

"Thanks, Shizuru." I sit down across the table from her.

"What's wrong?" she asks again.

"I'm in love with him, Shizuru." Whoa. How did that slip out? I didn't mean to tell her so soon... But why is it such a relief to say that out loud? Is it because not telling anyone makes me feel like I'm lying?

"I know." Wait, what? How could she know?

"You knew?"

"Anna," Shizuru says seriously. "I've been around my brother when he's with Yukina. More importantly, I've known Yusuke and Keiko long enough to tell you that it was a long time before they stopped pretending they aren't in love with each other. I know what love looks like, even if Kurama's too self-critical to realize there is good reason for you to be in love with him."

"Oh." I suppose that makes sense…kind of.

"I'm guessing that's not all you wanted to say?"

"Why does he love me, Shizuru?"

"Anna, you think too little of yourself. So does he. He can understand why you don't love him, but without my help, he has trouble finding reasons for you to love him. You are exactly the same way."

I look at her. "What do I do?"

"I suppose it would be the epitome of foolishness to suggest you could just admit you love him and let it take its natural course."

"I can't." I can't do that to him.

She sighs. "Of course not. Kurama won't hurt you, Anna. He doesn't often speak of real emotions, but when he does, he means what he says. And I've only seen him this frustrated and stressed out once before. His life was on the line then. That's how important you are to him, Anna."

What? Oh. She doesn't know yet. I only realized it in the last hour. "I know he won't hurt me."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm broken, Shizuru. I love him, I really do. But it wouldn't be fair to him. He won't hurt me, but I will end up hurting him."

Shizuru rolls her eyes. "You two are ridiculous. Neither of you thinks you deserve the other. It makes me sick."

"But I'm broken, Shizuru."

She stands up suddenly. I don't think I've ever seen her angry before. I've seen her beat up Kuwabara, but I've never seen her angry. "Then fix yourself! You think you're broken. But you're the only one who thinks that. Maybe it's true, I don't know! But since we're talking emotionally, you're the only one who can do anything about it! I'm sick of the two of you acting like such idiots!"

Do something about it? She's right. But what can I do?

* * *

Well... As always I only own Anna and Dr. Takei. As not always, there are no reviews I need to reply to, since I posted the last chapter ten minutes ago.

Why am I giving you two updates in one day? you may ask.

The answer: Today is 10/19! I felt I should do something special.

Explanation for the answer: In case you don't remember, October 19 is Anna's birthday.

Please note that the 10/19 is real time, not the date in the story. In the story, I want to say it's mid to late August (maybe).

Adios.


	30. Twenty Nine

**Seems Like I Should Be Getting Somewhere**

**Kurama POV**

I pull into Shiori's driveway. Is it bad that I'm going to ask a woman more than a thousand years younger than me for advice? Then again, that's what I'm doing whenever I talk to Shizuru. And Shiori has had more successful relationships than I have had, so it's the logical thing to do.

I get out of the car and walk inside. "Mom," I call out.

"Shuichi!" I hear her call from the kitchen. "I didn't know you were coming to visit."

I find her washing dishes. I take up a towel and start drying. I see the scars on her arms. And, for a moment, it isn't Shiori washing the dishes. It's Anna. It's Anna because I want to have a life with her. It's Anna because I want to wash dishes like this with her one day. It's Anna because, once they've healed properly, her arms will bear similar scars.

"Shuichi?" Shiori asks.

"What?" I say. I missed something.

"I asked how you've been. But now I know. Something's bothering you." She always worries about me. I always worry about her. What an odd relationship we have.

I have no problem with asking her. I just don't know how… "How did you meet Dad?"

She looks at me a moment, then says, "We went to the same university."

"Why did you fall in love with him?"

"Shuichi, once you're in love with someone, it's difficult to pin down the first reason because there are suddenly so many reasons. If you are truly in love, it just happens, and there is nothing you can do to stop it."

That one, I understand. "How did you start dating?"

She looks at me and replies, "He asked me to go to a party with him. When I told him no, he asked why. When he found out it was because I didn't drink, he decided to take me out to dinner rather than go to the party. He cancelled his plans, so he could be with me."

She finishes washing the dish she's holding and turns off the water. Not all of the dishes are clean. She _always_ finishes the dishes once she's started. What's going on? She walks across the room and sits down at the kitchen table. "Shuichi," she says. "I can see there's something you're not telling me. Sit down, and tell me what it is."

She always knows. A mother's intuition, I suppose, even though I'm not her son, not really. I sit down opposite her and say, "I need some advice."

"Who is she?"

I shake my head. She knows. Of course, my questions made it fairly obvious. "Anna."

She smiles. "That's what I thought." I look at her. How could she have known that? In response to my unasked question, she adds, "I saw how you looked at her when you came home from America, Shuichi. You looked at her the way your father used to look at me."

I sigh. "I love her, Mom. But she just pushes me away."

"Maybe you should just wait. You should just let her come to you."

"I've tried. But…I can't stay away. I love her too much."

She looks at me, hesitating. She has something she feels she needs to say, but she doesn't really want to. Finally she tells me, "I believe you believe that. But are you absolutely certain it's actually love you are feeling, Shuichi?"

I don't blame her for asking that. It's actually a very logical question. But…I know I love her. I know what lust is. And now I know the difference between love and lust. "Mom," I eventually say. "I want to marry her. When we were washing dishes, for a moment you were Anna because I want to have a life with her. If the physical side of it were all I wanted…" I sigh. Should I say it out loud? "She tried to kill herself a few weeks ago, Mom. If all I wanted was…sex, I could've abandoned her right then. But I couldn't. It never once even crossed my mind." Maybe it's the fact that I'm not actually nineteen, but this conversation isn't nearly as awkward as I feel it should be.

And I think she understands what I'm saying. "Take a step back. Force yourself to give her space. If it's meant to be, she'll see you're doing it for her. If it's meant to be, she'll start to love you for that alone. Just put her first, Shuichi."

I nod. "Thanks, Mom."

Shiori's husband walks in. She gets up and kisses him on the cheek. I want that. I want to come home and have Anna kiss me like that. Then Shiori surprises me, saying to him, "I'll leave. I think what Shuichi needs now is to hear it from you. A man-to-man conversation, or whatever you want to call it."

"Okay…" he says uncertainly. I've always gotten the feeling that I make him nervous. He doesn't know how to act around me because he sees I'm more mature than most guys my age. Shiori leaves, and he asks, "What do you need, Shuichi?"

I get the feeling that this conversation is going to be more awkward than the one I just had with Shiori. "How'd you get your first wife and then my mom to fall in love with you?"

He sits down slowly, thinking over my question. After several minutes, he answers, "You have it all wrong, Shuichi. You don't work to fall in love. You don't work to get her to fall in love with you. Falling in love is easy, staying in love is hard."

"Then why do I feel like I'm trying so hard to make her love me?"

"Perhaps you're trying too hard. Let her take things at her pace, if you really love her. It'll all come together eventually."

That's almost exactly what Shiori told me to do. And they're probably right. "Thanks," I say. I grab my keys and go to get Shizuru's groceries. I may be older, but they both know more of love.

* * *

Well, there you go. End of chapter. Only Anna and Dr. Takei. On to reviews.

animegrlsteph: yeah, she's finally realizing. Question: will it be good for the relationship b/w Anna and Kurama, bad for the relationship or neither? And never feel sorry for Anna. That's an order. It's not allowed. She'd hurt you if she knew. And most of her problems are her own stupid fault and stubborness, so I have no pity. Actually, I just don't like Anna b/c she's taken over my life. *glares at Kiyoshi* Of course, this one over here has me talking out loud and going out of my way to do things just because he wants them done.

Insanity4Apples: Glad you're enjoying the story. It's always good to see new names pop up in reviews. :) I hope you enjoyed your update.

Kaori Minamino: Haha. Indeed (wait a second, what am I agreeing to? I read your review three seconds ago, and I don't remember what it said. I just remember I agreed with all of it...). Yes, Kurama is blind, and Anna is being stupid. What a pair. Thanks for wishing Anna a happy birthday.

T. R. Blessing: Glad you're excited to see what's coming. As for Kurama's temper tantrum, I hadn't thought of it that way before, but that's true. And I basically let Anna do whatever the heck she wants. I have a vague outline for the story, I shove it at her and say, 'okay, you figure out how to get this done.' But, yeah, asking the characters helps a lot. And they are more annoying the more real they become. Finally, I LOVE HELPFUL HINTS. But people don't give them to me very often. Thanks for that. :) It makes me happy.

Angel of Randomosity: I agree with everything you just said. Thanks for wishing Anna a happy birthday.


	31. Thirty

**Somehow I'm Neither Here Nor There**

_Two Nights Later (Monday)…_

**Anna POV**

I'm so scared. I'm not sure what of. I think I'm scared of loving him. I'm scared he'll hurt me. I'm scared I love him too much. I'm scared _I'll_ hurt _him_.

And I'm angry with myself. Why do I always run away? It's stupid. I'm stupid. I just need to stop running away! I really don't deserve him. He cares about me so much.

I just… I hate it! I love him. But I can't let him know that. I can't. I can't deal with the heartbreak. Because I love him so much, when I do something that hurts him, it will break my heart.

There is a way to escape all of this. No, Anna! No. Not again. That's just another way for you to run. And that will hurt him even more than anything else I could possibly do.

But…no.

I climb out of bed and walk out of my room. It's nearly midnight, but I somehow doubt he'll care.

**Kurama POV**

What? What's that tapping? Oh. Someone's at my door. I glance at the clock. It's 11:54. What could they possibly want at this hour?

I climb out of bed, pull on my pajama pants and shuffle to the door. I open it. It's Anna. "Anna?" I ask. Am I dreaming? No. I don't think so. I am fairly certain she is really standing outside my door in her pajamas.

"I'm scared," she mumbles, looking at the ground to avoid my eyes. "I'm confused. And I'm angry." What? Now I'm confused. I don't understand why this would make her wake me up in the middle of the night. When I don't say anything, she adds, "This is similar to how I felt both of the times I tried to kill myself."

Oh. No. "Anna, don't. I don't think I could—" I stop. They both said to let Anna set the pace of our relationship.

When I stop she says, "Suicide already crossed my mind once tonight. But I don't want to die. I know that. But when I feel like this, I don't think things through. I'm afraid in a fit of rage I might try again. You might not be able to save me again."

No. No. She can't. I won't let her. "Is there anything I can do?"

She looks…I don't know…broken, almost. Is she really that confused? But about what? What could have her feeling like this? After a moment, she asks, "Can I stay in here tonight?"

That might be the last thing I was expecting her to ask. But I find myself answering, "Of course." I step back, and she walks in. After I close the door, I tell her, "You take the bed."

"No. This is your room. I am intruding. I just don't think it's wise for me to be alone right now. I will not take the bed."

Why am I not surprised? Well, two can play at that game. "I won't take the bed. I want you to have it."

She doesn't say anything, she just lays down on the floor. So I lay down next to her. I can be just as stubborn as she is.

After a while she says, "This is ridiculous, Kurama. Get back in your bed."

"No."

"It's uncomfortable on the floor. Get back in the damn bed."

It is uncomfortable. And I refuse to sleep in the bed when she's on the hardwood floor. "No. You get in the bed."

Finally she sighs. "You're ridiculous, stubborn and an idiot. I hope you're aware of that."

There is one thing we could do… but I won't be the one to suggest it. "You're being exactly the same way."

"It's stupid to have two people lying on the floor in the same room as an empty bed." She hesitates. After a long silence, she says, "We could share it."

I cannot believe she actually suggested it. "Are you sure?" I ask.

"Neither of us will get any sleep trying to wait the other person out. Then we'll both be irritable tomorrow." She says it so calmly. Almost too calmly. And the logic… I feel like she's using logic to hide what she is really thinking or feeling.

"Okay," I reply after a moment.

We climb onto the bed and lie on our backs, shoulder to shoulder. "It was nicer in the forest," she suddenly says. "There wasn't a ceiling to block out the trees and the sky."

"And there was space between us." I like being this close to her, but I know she doesn't feel the same way.

She doesn't say anything for a long time. I start to drift off, and she answers my comment softly, "Actually… I like having someone this close. It's nice. I like having people who care about me."

She likes being this close to me? But…but…I don't understand. "Why did you come to me rather than Shizuru or Yukina?"

"You're my closest friend, Kurama."

I don't say anything else, and neither does she. She falls asleep, leaving me alone in the dark with my arm pressed up against hers. My thoughts chase each other around my head.

I don't know where I stand with her. Earlier today, I was still sure she didn't love me. Now I'm not convinced.

It is a long while before I fall asleep.

* * *

Hola! Yeah, I'm aware of how weird this chapter was. But no one ever suggested Anna was even close to being normal. So there you go. And, for the record, this is chapter 30 (31 counting the prologue). It is officially my longest story. Now for reviews.

Foxgirl Ray: Good. I'm not the only one who thought it was cute. As always, thanks for the review!

Angel of Randomosity: He's only getting smarter if he can act on their advice. Thanks for your review!

animegrlsteph: Can't you just imagine? He loves Shiori, which takes the awkward away. But then there's this random guy who thinks he's a teenage boy. Shiori insists this random guy give Kurama advice. And this random guy already thinks Kurama is weird. How could that _not_ be awkward?

T. R. Blessing: First, thanks for the tips. It drives my friends crazy because sometimes I'll right a chapter or oneshot and let them read it before it's typed, but it will be all out of order because I right the end first and then the beginning and then the bit just before the end and then fill in any gaps. Anyway, I'm glad you think Kurama's developing. Sometimes it's really hard to make one of the characters from the manga/anime develop because they have already been well-developed throughout the story. As always, thanks for reviewing.

Insanity4Apples: I know. That chapter seemed sweet/cute to me also, even though Anna wasn't really in it. I really hope you liked this chapter, even though it's more than a little weird. Anna likes throwing me curveballs. *makes face* Anywho, thanks for the review!


	32. Thirty One

**Bought a Ticket For a Runaway Train**

_The next morning…_

**Anna POV**

Coming in here last night wasn't a good idea. Why do I keep doing stupid things like this? He was right. I should have gone to Shizuru or Yukina. Now…now I know how nice it is to be this close to him.

He's still asleep. I can hear him breathing. He seems so calm like this.

His arm is pressed up against mine. There is only one thin layer of fabric between us. All that separates us is the sleeve of my nightshirt because he isn't wearing his. He's so… cute, handsome, hot. I don't know. All of those.

Why does my face feel so hot? I'm glad he's not awake. I can tell my face is bright red. If he saw it he'd ask questions. All the questions I can't give him an answer to.

I love him. But it's because I love him that I can't be with him.

If we were to start dating, I'd just end up hurting him. Because I'm still afraid of people. I don't know how to show people I care about them. Not anymore.

And I'm already hurting him. I can see that. I can see how much it hurts him whenever I push him away. But no matter how much that hurts him, it doesn't hurt him as much as it would if he knew I do love him.

I carefully get up and leave the room. Just before I shut the door, I whisper, "I do love you, Kurama." I leave him sleeping and head to the kitchen for food.

_Ten minutes later…_

**Kurama POV**

Oh. That was odd. What a nice dream. Very nice, if completely crazy. I dreamt Anna came in here last night. We had an argument that resulted in us sharing the bed. She said I'm her closest friend. Then she spent the night, and as she left in the morning, she told me she loved me.

But that's all ridiculous. How could any of those things happen when Anna feels the way she does?

But the spot next to me is slightly warm. Part of it actually happened. But how much of it was a dream and how much of it was reality?

* * *

First, I would like to apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow to make up for it. Also, Anna and Dr. Takei. Here we go with review replies!

Aya Ayame: I am happy to see a new reviewer! I am also happy you like the difference between this one and the majority. I work my hardest to make it all flow.

Angel of Randomosity: Personally, I didn't find it OOC for Anna. The biggest point in Anna's personality is her unpredictability. I'm glad you think it works though.

Insanity4Apples: I don't particularly care for the mushy stuff, but to each his (or her) own, right? I am happy to see you liked it.

T. R. Blessing: Change the setting up on Anna, just to mess with her head... there's an idea I hadn't thought of... I hope this chapter was satisfactory.

animegrlsteph: YES. There is a miracle. Anna avoided doing something stupid. That's a first. And perhaps a last. I don't really know...


	33. Thirty Two

**Like a Madman Laughing At the Rain**

_Friday…_

**Anna POV**

"How have you been the last week, Anna?" Dr. Takei asks me.

I don't know why I trust her so much. Maybe it's the fact that she cares about me more than her stuff. And she can't tell anyone anything. "I thought about suicide on Monday."

Her eyes flash in alarm. "How far did you get in that thought process, Anna?"

"I got to the killing-myself-would-hurt-less stage. I hadn't formed a plan yet. Is that what you mean?"

She looks relieved. "Yes."

Unfortunately, there are still some things she doesn't know about my last two attempts. It would probably be wise to tell her. "But Dr. Takei…I never really formed a plan."

She looks at me in concern. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, one minute I'm scared and angry and confused. The next, I'm completely calm and thinking nothing beyond 'death would be so much simpler.' Then I wake up in the hospital." That's all true. I have no memory of deciding on the pills or the knife.

She nods and asks, "You mentioned being scared and angry and confused. Do you know why you felt that way?"

"Which time?" Same emotions each time, completely different reasons.

"Let's start with the first."

"Okay. That's probably the most straightforward one. Jake wouldn't go off the drugs. I was scared of being abandoned by him for good. I was angry at him for doing the drugs. I was confused because I had no idea why I could do nothing about it. And at that time, I had no control over my own life." Nope. Social Services had the control. "Do you want me to tell you about the second time?"

"Yes."

"I was starting to fall in love with Kurama. I was scared of getting hurt again. I was confused as to how he got me to feel that way. I was angry at him for it and angry at myself for letting happen."

She looks at me. "And Monday?"

"I don't know why I love him, but I do. I'm angry at myself for it. I'm scared of what will happen if I tell him I love him."

She thinks for a minute and asks, "Why didn't you give in to your impulse on Monday like you have the last two times?"

Why? Slowly, I say, "I'm not sure when, but at some point, I stopped being so afraid he is going to hurt me. Now I'm more afraid that I'm going to hurt him. And I knew killing myself would hurt him more than anything else I could do."

"Could you tell me about your relationship with him?" How is it she makes me want to tell her all this? Actually, it doesn't matter.

"I met him in a National Park in the States." She doesn't really need to know the details… "When they found out I have no family, they offered to bring me here. Then they took care of me, and I started to fall in love with him. He tells me he loves me frequently, but I can't tell him I love him. And of all of them, I think he's the only one who hasn't figured out that I'm in love with him." I still don't know why the others have it figured out, and he doesn't.

"Permit me to ask one question," she interrupts. "Who do you mean by 'them?'"

"Kurama and all his friends."

She nods. "One more thing. How does Shuichi fit into all of this? If Kurama is the one who's in love with you, why is it Shuichi who always brings you up here?"

I freeze. I can tell my eyes are wide with surprise, but I can't seem to fix them. I don't know if I want to laugh or cry or do something else entirely. Well, Kurama wants me to tell her the truth. It's not my fault he's tangled up in the root of my problems. Finally I manage to get out, "Shuichi _is_ Kurama."

* * *

Well, there is that chapter. Also, I am going to attempt to answer reviews, but I do not know how well that's going to work out. My email is down, so I'm going to have to use the site's review log. If I miss your review, it's not intentional, I promise, and I apologize if that's the case.

animegrlsteph: Yes very cute. Oh what will Anna throw at us next...actually I already know. :P

Angel of Randomosity: I'm not going to lie: I'm really not sure what that review was supposed to mean...I think it sounded like a good thing, and I'll keep believing it was a good thing until you tell me otherwise, how about that? At any rate, thanks for the review.

Insanity4Apples: Is Anna even capable of such a thing?


	34. Thirty Three

**A Little Out of Touch, a Little Insane**

**Anna POV**

"Is there a reason you call him Kurama rather than Shuichi?"

Of course. I just had to tell her. "Is that relevant?"

"Maybe," she says easily. "I won't know unless you tell me. But if you don't want to tell me, that's fine too."

I nod. "I'm just afraid that telling you the whole truth will make you think I'm delusional…"

"It takes a lot to convince me of something like that, Anna," she assures me. Too bad. Me having a sixth sense and my would-be boyfriend being a twelve hundred year old fox demon stuck in a human body making him lead two separate lives… Yeah. I'm fairly certain that falls under the "a lot" category.

Whatever. I really don't care if she thinks I'm crazy. "Dr. Takei, do you believe in the idea of a sixth sense?"

Instead of shaking her head, she smiles. "I thought this might come up. Your doctor mentioned the idea of a sixth sense, something you all called aura and I quote, 'the crazy kid with the insane magic tricks.'"

"And?" I want to know how she feels about that before I say anything else.

"Well, I'm guessing the 'crazy kid' is Shuichi, or rather Kurama. I'd also bet it wasn't a magic trick. I have enough of a sixth sense to be able to sense ghosts, Anna. I couldn't tell you anything beyond the fact that they are there though. I do understand that some people have much stronger senses."

I nod. "I'm one of them. Most of the people I'm staying with fall into that category too. And Dr. Takei… if you know there are ghosts, is it too much of a stretch for you to believe that demons exist too?"

She pauses before saying, "What kind of demons?"

"The kind from stories and legends. Sentient beings with a humanoid form and seemingly super-human abilities. Creatures who sometimes have a connection to a specific animal but sometimes don't." I add, "Then you have personal, emotional demons. But those are irrelevant at this point."

It's a long time before she answers. Finally, "I admit I'm having trouble grasping this one, Anna. But it's my job to keep an open mind. I also understand that many would feel the same way about me if I told them of my apparently-weak sixth sense."

"Your conclusion?"

She hesitates. "I believe you. At least for now. Now why don't you tie this all together for me?"

"Kurama is a fox demon trapped in a human body. The mother of the human and most other humans only know him as Shuichi, and he tries to keep it that way."

"So Kurama possessed Shuichi, and now he can't get out?" How can she take all of this so calmly?

"No…Kurama took over the body before it had a soul. Other than in name, Shuichi doesn't really exist." Before she can ask anything else, I add. "But none of that matters. I'm still so in love with him that I'm going to end up hurting him."

"How do you know you'll end up hurting him?" She is _so_ good at this. I change the direction of the conversation, and she goes with it, just like that.

"I don't know how to care about people anymore. I've been a recluse, more or less, for more than two years. I had few personal relationships in the three years before that, and every single one of them ended in disaster."

Dr. Takei thinks over my words for a while before saying, "I think you're very good at caring, Anna. You didn't try to kill yourself because it would hurt Kurama. I think a lot of what you do is a subconscious effort to make the people you care about happy, Anna. Not please them but make them genuinely happy."

I glance at the clock. Our hour was up five minutes ago. "Our time is up."

She doesn't look at the clock. "So it is." She already knew, didn't she? But she still continued the conversation… She is so odd. "I will see you next week."

I nod and think of what she said all the way back to the temple. I also think about what Shizuru said, about me fixing myself.

* * *

Well...I think (or at least intended) that we learned a little bit more about why Dr. Takei is the way she is...kind of. Anyway...y'all know who I own. Sorry this chapter is so short, and sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I fail :( On to the reviews...

joey'sBrooklynRage: YAY! New reviewer! And that makes me feel so special, that you think this is one of the best fanfics you've ever read. My day just got better. :)

Foxgirl Ray: My favorite part about Anna telling on him is that she justifies it by saying he wants her to tell the truth... Chapter length...yes, sorry about that. In my defense, I did warn you guys at the beginning of the story that the chapter lengths were going to be totally random. I also mentioned at some point that this story is loosely based on the song 'Runaway Train' by Soul Asylum. The chapter titles _are_ the lyrics to the song, so that has some influence on what happens in each chapter. They should be getting longer a few chapters from now (maybe).

animegrlsteph: Her issues with 'Shuichi' get more pronounced later on in the story...

Angel of Randomosity: No...Anna thought that one through. And blamed her decision on Kurama, no less. What else can you expect from Anna, though?

Insanity4Apples: You're probably right. And actually, both told about names... didn't realize that until you said something.

Kaori Minamino: Yeah, the BOTH need to open their eyes and quit acting like idiots. I liked the 'mom of the year' bit. Except you guys haven't even gotten to the worst bits yet. As for cuddling...that comes later ;)

T. R. Blessing: I don't know... I feel like Kurama's a bigger moron in this story than any other I've ever written. I guess that's what happens when he is faced with a situation that is so completely alien to him and also so completely out of his control... ah well. I'll just let Anna do whatever the crap she wants, since my writing goes downhill if I try to defy the people in my head.


	35. Thirty Four

**It's Just Easier Than Dealing With the Pain**

_The next night…_

**Anna POV**

There are too many people here. I can't get what Dr. Takei and Shizuru said out of my head. I stand and walk out onto the porch. But there are several people out here too. I walk down the stairs and into the forest.

And he thinks he's being so stealthy, following me like he is. I stop at my river and sit down with my toes in the water. After several minutes of waiting, I call out, "I know you're there."

I hear his footsteps as he approaches. I guess I can understand his confusion on how I can walk so silently. He most definitely cannot walk without making a sound.

He sits next to me and says nothing.

Why'd he have to follow me? I'm trying to resolve my conflicted emotions about him. Having him here just makes that harder.

He reaches for my hand. The worst part of it is the fact that he's not making a move. All he's trying to do is make me feel better. I pull away. "Don't," I tell him.

"Why not?" He knows that I know he only meant to comfort me. And lately, that hasn't been a problem. But right now…what I might need to do…having him close will make it hurt both of us more.

"Don't," I repeat. I pull my feet from the water and turn my back on him. Not long ago I never would have done that. I distrusted him too much. Now I just can't bring myself to look at him. "Just don't."

He doesn't move. "What's wrong, Anna?"

I can barely hear myself whisper, "I don't want to fall in love with you." But it's too late for that. I'm already in love with him. But he must think otherwise. At least for the time being. "I _can't_ fall in love with you." I say the second sentence loudly; it's the only way I can get the lie to pass my lips.

"Why not?" I don't need to look at him to see the hurt that covers his face. His voice says it all. I know what his face looks like right now. And it is _killing me_ to do this to him.

"Nothing good ever lasts. Either it dies, or they run away." Or I run away.

"You don't really believe that?"

No. Not anymore. "It always ends. And I'm tired of dealing with the hurt." I brace myself and look at him. That hurt…I just want to kiss him and make the hurt go away. "If I stay distant, it won't hurt when it ends. Because what never began cannot end. If someone you never loved walks away, it makes no difference. I don't want to hurt anymore." For not wanting to hurt anymore, I'm sure causing myself a lot of pain by doing this to him.

His green eyes stare into mine. I don't know how he doesn't see through my lie. It takes all the willpower I possess not to look away. "I won't leave you."

I know. I know you won't. "You say that now. But you can't know."

"I _do_ know," he objects almost violently. "And I promise. I will not leave you. Not now, not ever. And if that's not enough, that's okay. I can wait. I will wait as long as it takes me to convince you that you are wrong." And he will. I know that.

I stand up. I need to get away from him. I can't keep this cruelty up much longer. I'm so sorry for this, Kurama. "You will be waiting a long time." I walk away from him, leaving him sitting on the bank of the river. I scale the nearest tree and use the tree branches to make my way away from him.

Dear God, please let him forgive me for this when I come back.

* * *

That scene does seem familiar, now doesn't it? Anywaaaaaay... I own no one new this chapter and on to the reviews (five of them, and it's only been a day since I last posted! I love you guys!)

T. R. Blessing: Thanks for the review, and as always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

joey'sBrooklynRage: I know I could have put it in the last chapter, and I felt it was short too. But as I told another reviewer yesterday, what happens in each chapter is slightly influenced by what the title is (which, in order, make up the lyrics to 'Runaway Train' by Soul Asylum). And this chapter (It's Just Easier Than Dealing With the Pain) had to have this content. And nothing happens between the session with Dr. Takei and this chapter. And the two chapters covering that session were titled 'Like a Madman Laughing at the Rain' and 'A Little Out of Touch, a Little Insane.' The reasoning behind that one was that psychologists/psychiatrists are often associated with insanity/crazy people even though that isn't always the case. I hope I made at least a little bit of sense in this rambling response... As always, thanks for the review!

Angel of Randomosity: Uh-huh. Dr. Takei is good. So good it almost frightens me. It frightens me that she understands Anna better than I do. Perhaps that's because they're both in my head...

animegrlsteph: Yes I did force Kiyoshi to write more. But not for this story. Anna is about twenty chapters ahead of schedule at this point *smacks forehead* so I made Kiyoshi write some of APTBF. I don't know if I would say it's funny...maybe. I don't really know. Taking it all so lightly just seemed a very Dr. Takei-ish thing for her to do.

Insanity4Apples: Actually, I don't know where Kurama was at that point... strange the gaps in the story I don't realize I have... ah well. "It'll all work out."


	36. Thirty Five

**Runaway Train Never Going Back**

**Anna POV**

After ten minutes of escaping through the treetops, I climb down. And I throw up. My emotional pain is making me physically sick. And I welcome it. That's how much it hurt me to hurt him on purpose. I can hardly keep myself moving away from him. All I want right now is to go back and tell him it was all a lie.

But if I'm ever going to be with him, I need to fix myself first. And I need to be away from him to do that.

All of it will work better if he remains convinced I'm not in love with him.

And if it doesn't work…if I end up breaking myself beyond repair, it'll be less painful for him in the long run. Less painful than if he had me and then lost me.

Most people would say that I should take Kurama with me when I go to see them. But if I want to feel like I deserve him, I have to fight these battles on my own. I must force myself to learn how not to run away.

**Kurama POV**

I thought…I thought…I thought I was making progress. Everyone else seems to think so. I thought she trusted me. But she's still hung up on her past.

Or is that just her way of telling me she could never love me?

At dark, I make my way back to the temple. I paid more attention this time, and I know where I am.

I get back to the temple. What I want now…in all honesty, I just want to forget it all. Every last bit of it. I grab a drink. Shizuru sees me and asks, "Kurama, are you sure that's wise?"

"I don't even care anymore, Shizuru. And Anna's out in the forest anyway."

"What happened, Kurama?"

I take a long drink before muttering, "She basically told me she could never love me. Hearing her say that out loud…I didn't know anything could hurt this much. But, if I could, to escape the pain I would fight every battle of the Dark Tournament a hundred times over."

"Oh, Kurama. I doubt she meant it. She's just scared. You've known from the beginning that she's scared of getting close to people." Something in her voice makes me wonder if she really believes what she is saying. She seems almost confused.

"You didn't hear her, Shizuru. I've never seen her like that. I've never seen her so defensive."

"Kurama…all that means is you're getting closer. And the closer you get, the more she cares about you, the more it scares her. The other day she told me—" She cuts herself off.

"She told you what?" What did she say?

"I wish I could tell you, Kurama, I really do. But it's not my place to say. That is one thing that only she can tell you."

I nod and drain the beer in my hand. I turn to grab another, but Shizuru stops me. "Don't, Kurama. It's not worth it. It won't help, and you know it. If anything, it'll make you feel worse. And you'll have a hangover tomorrow on top of all that."

"I don't know what else to do, Shizuru. I feel like I can't breathe. I want to throw up. That's how much it hurts."

"What exactly happened?" she asks suddenly.

"She looked upset, so I tried to comfort her. Which only made her more upset."

"But what did she say?"

"She said 'I don't want to fall in love with you. I _can't_ fall in love with you.'" It makes me sick just thinking about it.

But Shizuru gives me a smile. How can she smile? "She was the one who brought up love, Kurama. That means she was already thinking about it. Think about that, then go to bed, and try to get some sleep."

I go lay down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. Anna was already thinking about love? Is that why she was so confused? What does this mean?

And how long will it be before Anna comes back?

* * *

Okay! Sorry that, once again, it's so short. A couple of chapters from now they'll start getting longer again... I only own Anna and Dr. Takei. Here we go with the reviews!

Sarcastic Nightmare: Yay! New reviewer! Anyway, glad you're enjoying it. I feel bad for Kurama too, especially knowing what comes next...well, knowing what comes next actually makes me not feel sorry for him...oh I should just shut up before I give everything away. Thanks for the review!

Foxgirl Ray: Yep, that's the scene from the prologue. And it does mean we've come a long way (six months! of course, four of those Anna spent hiding from Kurama in a forest and another considerable amount of time just avoiding him in the house...and somehow she's still in love with him. Anna bewilders me). I hadn't thought about Kurama being broken. But he's not if you think about it this way: he doesn't think he's broken. the only person who thinks Anna is broken is Anna. so, if she didn't think she needed to fix herself, they'd basically be on the same page. Did you catch what she seems to be planning from this chapter? She mentions it once. :)

animegrlsteph: yes, Anna is kind of a stupid kid sometimes...a lot of the time...all the time... She'll start wondering about why she does things like that later, though (she's improving in her peopls skills! *gasp*)

joey'sBrooklynRage: Thanks for the review, hope this one was enjoyable as well.


	37. Thirty Six

**Wrong Way On a One Way Track**

_Six days later (Friday)…_

**Anna POV**

Finally. I was starting to worry no one would give me a ride. I climb into the front seat. There are two kids in the back seat. "Thanks for the lift."

The man nods. "Where are you headed?"

"It hardly matters. I'll let you know when we're close to the exit. And if you need to stop before then, don't feel bad about kicking me out."

He nods. I guess he understands that I want to keep my reasons to myself. "Daddy…" one of the kids says from the back. "Why'd you pick her up? You normally just drive right on by."

"Picking up a young woman who needs help is far different from picking up a forty year old man who might've escaped from prison or the psych ward."

I snort. How sexist and ageist. I could be a psychopathic killer just as easily as the man he was just describing. And throw in the psych ward bit… He looks at me questioningly. I just say, "Just thinking of the irony. I'm going to see my psychiatrist." He looks suddenly looks uncomfortable and nervous, so I add, "Suicidal not homicidal, I promise. If you want, you can kick me out now."

He takes a deep breath and manages to calm himself. And he lets me stay in the car which actually surprises me. Of course, he'll probably never pick up another hitchhiker again, no matter age or sex. When I have him pull over, he does look relieved to be rid of me. Before I shut the door, I hear one of the kids say, "She was really weird." And don't I know it.

When I arrive at Dr. Takei's, it's ten after four because of how long I spent trying to catch a lift. She looks relieved to see me. "I was starting to wonder if something was going on. If you weren't just running late."

"Well here I am."

We sit in silence. Finally she opens the conversation with, "Where is Kurama today?" Of course she would ask that.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, since he seems to be tied up in your emotional turmoil, shall we call it, yes, it does matter."

"He dropped me off. Shizuru wanted him to pick up some groceries." It's only this easy to lie because I know what I need to do, and she cannot suspect.

"I see. Now, how have you been the last week? How is your relationship with Kurama?" Now that she knows, she's targeting a specific area.

"I've been avoiding him since Saturday."

"Why?"

Ummm…because if I don't I won't be able to do what I need to do? "I don't know. Just because."

"I really think it would help if you talked about it, Anna."

But then you'd know. And the fewer people who know I'm leaving, the better. I'm already going to need to tell Shizuru. "I…said some things. And I know it hurt him."

"And it is still hurting you that you did that." It's phrased as a statement rather than a question.

"Yes," I say. "And I cannot bring myself to face him."

"Is it possible that your avoidance is hurting him more?"

"No. It's not _possible_. It's probable." And it is. But I must do this. If I don't…I'll run away again. But I can't face Kurama again until I've faced my problems.

I space out, and I'm not sure what we talk about for the remainder of the hour. At five, I stand to leave.

"Goodbye, Anna. I'll see you next week."

"Bye." But if everything goes according to plan, I won't even be in the country next week.

* * *

Well...sorry this chapter was so short. The chapter lenght should start getting longer soon. I know I've been saying that for a while now, but I think it's actually true this time.

Foxgirl Ray: As much as Kurama frustrates me...Anna is worse. She's stupid, stupid, stupid. Sweet...perhaps. I hadn't thought about it like that...Anna being sweet. There's a contradiction.

animegrlsteph: pretty much

joey'sBrooklynRage: No control over chapter length. It ends where it ends, end of story. Sorry.

Angel of Randomosity: mm-hmm. Anna is stupid, stupid, stupid, and she's probably going to continue being stupid, stupid, stupid.

Insanity4Apples: I wish she would too. Anna is a failure.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Yes poor Kurama. Anna is...urgh.


	38. Thirty Seven

****

Seems Like I Should Be Getting Somewhere

**Anna POV**

I leave Dr. Takei's. I find a woman with three kids. "Excuse me," I ask. "I hate to ask this, but could you possibly lend me enough money to make a phone call? I have no money and no way to get home." All technically true at this point.

"Oh, of course, dear." She digs in her purse a moment then hands me enough change to make a call.

"Thank you so much."

I go to the nearest payphone and call the temple. "Hello?" Thank god. It's Shizuru not Kurama.

"Hey, Shizuru. It's Anna. I really need your help."

"What do you need, Anna?" She sounds concerned.

"I'm going to be home in two hours, maybe a little less. Could you make sure Kurama is gone when I get there? It's important."

"Okay. What's going on, Anna?"

"I'll explain everything when I get there. I promise." Then my time runs out.

I walk to the highway and walk a while before catching a ride from a trucker.

_Two hours later…_

I walk inside. "Is Kurama here?" I ask. Why do I feel so nervous? Just because I'm inside? No. I was inside at Dr. Takei's. It's because I'm so close to actually doing what I need to do. And I think, deep down in my heart, I've known I need to do this for a long time.

"No, Anna. Now tell me what's going on." Her voice is both concerned and demanding.

"You told me I need to fix myself. Dr. Takei told me I only think I don't know how to show people I care. And if I don't do something, I'll end up hurting Kurama worse than I did on Saturday." I sit down. Do I really want to know. "How bad was it, Shizuru?"

"His first reaction was to try and get drunk, if that tells you anything. I stopped him, but I think he was in shock. He's been confused and depressed ever since." I wince. Seeing that, Shizuru asks, "Why did you do it, Anna? I can see it's killing both of you."

"First, can I ask a big favor of you? If you can't help me, all the pain I've caused us both will have been for nothing." She stares at me and waits for me to continue. So I ask, "Could you lend me enough money for a plane ticket to America?"

She looks shocked and starts shaking her head. She stops. "Why, Anna? That won't solve anything."

"You know I heard you talking about how I always run. Well, to learn how to stop running, I need to go back and face the problems I left behind."

"And why can't Kurama know?"

"He'd insist on going with me." I can't have that. Not if I ever want to feel worthy of Kurama. "I have to fight this fight alone, Shizuru."

She looks at me. "I think I understand why you can't tell him you're going. But why did you tell him those things on Saturday? It stills seems like a lot of unnecessary hurt to me."

I stare at the wall for a while before I answer. "What I'm going to do…it will either fix me or break me beyond repair. If it's the latter, I won't be coming back."

Her face softens. "If he doesn't know you love him, it might hurt him less to lose you. And when you come back and explain, he'll understand."

"If, not when, Shizuru."

"No, Anna," she replies firmly. "When. You're strong. You'll come back. I know you will. You love him enough that you wouldn't be able to stay away forever, even if you are broken."

Whatever. I'm not convinced. "The point is, if it doesn't work out, it will hurt him less in the long run."

She nods and smiles. "There's not enough time to drive to the airport tonight. Meet me at the car at dawn, and if we're lucky, you'll be on a plane to America by this time tomorrow."

"You're my hero, Shizuru."

"Anna…I'm doing this for Kurama, too." When she says this, I realize she's right. I am coming back. No matter how I try, I won't be able to stay away from him.

"I know. Which makes me like your reasoning even better."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "You really should just tell him the truth."

"I will." After a pause, I add, "_When_ I come back."

* * *

Weeeeelllllll... There you have Anna, the best example of _stupidity_ ever. Anna and Dr. Takei.

Insanity4Apples: No offense taken. Actually...that's basically how I feel about Anna at this point in the story too.

Angel of Randomosity: Yeah, Anna pretty much deserves that. If only _Kurama_ could see that she is more stupid than anyone I've ever met.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Hopefully. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)

animegrlsteph: YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS?


	39. Thirty Eight

**Somehow I'm Neither Here Nor There**

_One week later…_

**Kurama POV**

When is she going to come back? Other than the first time, she's never been gone this long. I just want to sort everything out. I want the truth. But do I? Do I really? Yes. I want to know what she is really feeling, no matter how much it hurts.

The phone rings, and I jump. Shizuru glances at the clock. "It's for you."

"How do you know?"

"Just a hunch," she shrugs.

The phone rings again, and I grab it out of the cradle. "Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Shuichi?" a woman's voice asks. How does Shizuru make such predictions?

"This is he."

"This is Dr. Takei. It's four thirty. Is there a reason Anna isn't here?" She sounds so worried.

But Anna's not there. "Not that I'm aware of," I respond. Why isn't she there? "I haven't actually seen her in two weeks."

"Then how did she get here last week? She told me you dropped her off." What? Anna's lying to Dr. Takei? Exactly what is going on here? Where is she?

"Honestly…I don't know. She disappears into the forest, and we won't see her for a week, but she always makes it to her appointment somehow." I don't want to freak her out with the fact that Anna likes to hitchhike. Hitchhike. Could something have happened to her? What if her innate sense of self-preservation failed her at exactly the wrong moment?

But she freaks out anyway. "You let a girl at risk of committing suicide run around a forest _alone_ and don't worry when she doesn't come back?" Dr. Takei nearly shrieks.

I can't keep all of the sarcasm out of my voice. It's my natural defense against letting her hear how panicked I really am. Where is Anna? "There's a surprise. You don't really know Anna. She obviously hasn't opened up to you as much as you think she has. The forest is her real home. The forest is where she is happiest. And if we tried to stop her or follow her, she would be at risk of committing homicide."

"You have got to be kidding me."

Unfortunately, no. And she doesn't believe me. "Dr. Takei…when we found her, she'd been living in a forest alone for two years. We can assume she is safe." Can we? Can we really assume that? No. We can't. I can't risk that. "I'll take care of it."

"Okay. Thanks for your time, Kurama." Wait, Kurama? How could she…?

"How do you know my name?" I ask.

There is silence at the other end of the line. Eventually, she says, "I can't answer that due to patient confidentiality. I do, however, believe that you can figure it out." And actually that answers my question. There is a loud click as she hangs up the phone. How much does Anna talk about me?

I'm breathing fast. Despite what I told Dr. Takei, I find Anna not showing up for her appointment very worrisome. I pace back and forth with my hands behind my head. Then my hands drop, and I begin wringing them. What do I do?

"What's wrong, Kurama?" Shizuru asks.

"I don't know where Anna is."

"You haven't known where Anna is for a fortnight." Is it just me or does her voice sound…guarded? And something is off…you. She said _you_. Does that mean she knows where Anna is? Or does it mean she just doesn't care?

"But she didn't show up for her appointment today!"

"What are you going to do?" You again. Not we. What is with her? Doesn't she care about Anna at all?

"How can you be so calm?" I shout.

Very slowly she replies, "Getting angry and panicked won't help find her, Kurama."

She does care. She's just taking this better than I am. And she's right. She's right. "Yes. Calm," I say. "I'll go check the river. She said it's her favorite place. I want to see if she's been there in the last day or two."

"And if she hasn't?"

How in hell can she be so calm? How can she even imply that I might not be able to find Anna? "If she hasn't, I'll call in a freaking search party!"

"Kurama," she sighs, shaking her head. "What am I to do with you?"

What's that supposed to mean? Before I can ask, I'm out the doors and down the steps.

_Two hours later…_

"When and where did you last see her?" the officer asks me.

I lead him and his partner to Anna's river. "This is where I last saw her."

"When?"

"Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks? And you're just now reporting her missing?" They find that suspicious. I don't blame them.

"Officer, you need to understand something about Anna. She could live out here for years on her instincts alone. She frequently disappears for a week or so. Once she disappeared for four months." Should I mention the fact that she lived alone in a forest for two and a half years _before_ we found her? No. They probably think she's mad as it is.

"Then why report her missing this time when she's been gone, er, _only_ two weeks?" That…that's a very good question.

How to explain…? "She was seeing a psychiatrist. She always got to her appointments. She missed today's session." Anything more than that and they'll probably think I'm crazy too. They'll probably think we're all crazy. Which isn't exactly out of the question at this point.

"The psychiatrist's name?"

"Dr. Hikari Takei."

"Who was the last person to see her?"

"Known would be Dr. Takei."

"Known?"

"It's quite possible she's been hitchhiking."

They freeze. The woman says, "You people are all mad."

"Just find Anna," I say shortly.

I walk away, and they follow at a distance. I hear one of them say, "I get the feeling that there's something he's not telling us."

"I got the same feeling from the girl. Even more so. They're both hiding something. But I think there's also something that she's hiding from him."

Shizuru is hiding something from me? Yes. I guess I already knew that. I just didn't want to believe she knew something about Anna's whereabouts that she wasn't telling me.

I lead the officers out of the house saying, "Thank you."

"No problem. We will do our best to find your girlfriend."

"She's not my—" I get out before the man cuts me off.

"Kid, I've been around awhile. My advice: save it for someone who'll believe you. Good night."

Is it really that easy to see I'm in love with her?

They leave, and I shout, "Shizuru!"

"Yes?" She walks up behind me.

"I know you're hiding something from me."

"I figured you did. But I wasn't going to say anything unless you brought it up." She makes a face that says quite clearly she wishes I hadn't.

Too late for that. "What do you know, Shizuru?"

"Last Friday when I all but kicked you out of the temple, it was because Anna called and asked me to. She came up here and talked to me. That's all. I don't know where she is now." Why do I feel like there is truth hanging by a technicality somewhere in all of that?

"Does Anna's disappearance have anything to do with _your_ unexplained one-day absence on Saturday?" She doesn't respond. That means yes. "Where is she, Shizuru?"

"Kurama," she says sharply. "I swore to her I would not tell. I have told you too much already, by saying I have seen her. Do not deceive yourself into thinking that you are the only one who had to work to gain her trust. I am not going to risk that. Her trust is important to me, too. Just remember, if she had wanted you to know, she would have told you herself. You should just be happy that you know she is safe." She turns and walks angrily away from me.

The only thing I can think is the fact that Anna doesn't want me to know where she is. She's running again. And now she is a missing person in two countries.

**Anna POV**

So long. It's been more than four years since I was last here, but nothing has changed.

I go to the cemetery. There it is. His tombstone. Jeremy Matthews. July 16, 1956 to January 27, 2005. Forty eight years old.

I sink to my knees. "Hi, Daddy." I put the flowers I pulled from a garden next to his grave. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how deal with it. I didn't know how to handle any of it. So I did some kind of stupid things. Okay, I did a lot of really stupid things. I know I must be a disappointment to you. But I cam back to fix it all. That must count for something, right?" But of course he doesn't answer. If he does, I can't hear him. I stand. "I love you, Daddy." I wipe the tears from my cheeks and leave the cemetery.

Ten minutes later, I'm downtown. Good lord. I'd forgotten how much I didn't miss this place.

* * *

Well there you have it. Yay for Anna. Also...we've finally arrived at the longer chapters! Yay! Not sure how long they stay longer though...

T. R. Blessing: Yes that's what I meant by stupid. Stupid for the way she's going about it, not for what she's actually doing. Thanks for the review!

Insanity4Apples: Me neither. And Anna doesn't want him to be hurt either. I shall play devil's advocate for a moment by pointing out what another reviewer noticed: Anna's reasons for doing what she's doing in the way she's doing it are actually very sweet...in a very twisted, typical-Anna sort of way.

Sarcastic Nightmare: I think I'm going to refrain from giving a real comment on your review, since I know exactly what happens. :)

animegrlsteph: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME? REVIEW LIKE THREE SECONDS AFTER I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER SO I HAVE TO GO IN AND ADD ANOTHER REPLY, THEN SWITCH THE CONTENT BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN'T LOGGED OFF MY EMAIL OR MY FF ACOUNT? WHY, WHY, WHY? As for her going to America, my favorite scene is the one with her mother, not her brother. the one with Connor is good too though... hahahaha.


	40. Thirty Nine

**Runaway Train Never Coming Back**

**Anna POV**

This place…last time I was here, I was burying my father. But then…then I had Jake. Now I'm alone. But that's good. I need to learn to stand alone. Until I learn to stand alone, I can't depend on anyone. Because to truly depend on someone, they must be able to depend on you. And if you can't depend on yourself, how can anyone else?

I told that to Shizuru on the way to the airport. She told me, "I understand that. I understand your reasons for not telling him. But I disagree with them. I think he has a right to know where you are."

"Shizuru," I told her. "You once said he is stubborn. And he is. He's just as stubborn as I am. Maybe even more so. If I insisted he didn't come with me, he wouldn't. But he would follow me on the next flight. Please promise me you won't tell him anything."

"I don't like lying to my friends, Anna," she replied.

"Please, Shizuru. After this, I won't ask you to lie for me again. I promise."

"Anna…"

"Just this once, Shizuru. Promise me."

She sighed when I said that. "Fine. But never again. And if you're not back in two months, I'm telling him."

"Fine." By then, if I'm not coming back, it'll be next to impossible to find me.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence. She bought my ticket and saw me onto the plane. "If everything goes well, I'll call you in a couple weeks," I promised her.

She smiled. "I'll hold you to that." And she will. I know she will. And, for some reason, I find that comforting.

But then came the plane ride. I don't do well with people. Especially not large groups of people at once. Of course, no one was sitting near me, so I fell asleep pretty quickly. After that, I only woke up to eat.

But then we touched down. Once I got out of the airport, the fun began. I will never understand how hitchhiking across four states can be entertaining. But it is. I chuckle to myself.

That truck driver. Oh, he was funny. First thing he said when I climbed in the cab was, "Shhh. Picking up hitchhikers is against company policy so if you see any other trucks like mine, duck!"

I guess the look I gave him was entertaining in some way because he laughed and said, "Kidding. Well, about the ducking. I'm really not supposed to pick anyone up. But what no one knows, won't hurt them." He had grinned at me in an almost conspiratorial manner.

I smiled, but I guess my smile wasn't good enough. "Come on," he said. "You can give me a smile better than that. What's a pretty girl like you so sad about?"

I knew he didn't ask it expecting me to answer. But I know I won't see him again, so I told him everything. Well, almost everything. I left out the seemingly supernatural bits. "And now I'm in love with him. So I need to stop running away."

He became serious. "If you're not running away, why are you hitchhiking?"

Ha. Funny that he noticed that. "I must face my old problems on my own," I told him. "He would insist on coming with me if he knew."

He laughed. "So you're running away to not run away. Don't that just beat all." I smiled. He saw me and added, "Now there's the smile I was looking for."

The rest of the time I was with him, he kept making jokes. Most of them weren't really that funny, but his good humor was contagious.

He is the only person who made an impression. The rest were just the normal, helpful type. Where are you going, small talk, half-hearted attempts to get to know me.

There was this one woman. She made the usual, boring conversation. But she stuck me. Well, she didn't. Her radio did.

It was set to some country station. It was turned down, so it was kind of hard to hear. But then this song came on. I don't know what it's called or who it's by. All I know is that I could hear the man's voice, clear as day.

_And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance_

Since then…all the way back here…that's all I can think about.

He's wrong! It's good to know how something is going to end! That way there are no surprises. And if you know it isn't going to end well, you can forego the whole thing.

But…isn't that what he's saying? If you know it'll end badly, most people will just say, "no thanks, I pass". But then they miss the good parts. They may not get hurt, but they won't have the happiness either.

If I had it to do over again, knowing the consequences, would I still date Connor? No. Was the joy I had worth the pain I suffered? No. The pain and the betrayal I felt…it wasn't worth it.

But…but if not for Connor, I might've been able to handle Jake and his drugs. And if I had handled that better, I might not have run away. I wouldn't have lived in that accursed forest. Kurama and his friends wouldn't have run after me.

I never would have met Kurama.

I think I understand what the song means. Experiences have changed me. Things that have happened to me influence what I do now. Maybe letting the chips fall where they may _is_ a good idea. Not trying to control every last detail lets life be more…full. You're not afraid of what might happen. You can just enjoy it.

And even if what I might have with Kurama ends in disaster…it will be worth the pain. Having him for a short time would be worth any pain it could possibly cause. I can see that now. But is that true? Or have I just gone temporarily insane? No…it's worth it. It's definitely worth it.

_Yes my life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance_

* * *

Well...this chapter is the first of the chapters that really shows how much songs influence my writing. I have trouble not including lyrics. That'll come up later. The song in this chapter was Garth Brooks "the dance." I only own Anna and Dr. Takei. And we have a ton of reviews so good luck finding yours. Why are there so many when I just posted yesterday?

joey'sBrooklynRage: Turning point #1 you mean. :)

Insanity4Apples: Hahahaha. You'll see what happens. As for the cast of my story backing away slowly...everyone but Anna. Anna would probably just stare at you like 'what the crap are you doing?'

Aya Ayame: EPIC! My life is now complete. One of my stories is official epic. Here's the continuation. :)

Angel of Randomosity: It's cool. You don't need to review every chapter. (I basically try to update once I have one review :).) Thanks for the support. And I agree that Dr. ta-ta (haha) is right too. I think the only person who would disagree would be Anna. Which is the only person who really matters *face-palm*

01Trycia-chan01: Soooooo...this is the chapter I was posting when I got the review about Kuwabara being in the chapter. Glad you liked it. Sorry it hasn't continued. It does seem odd to me, however, that Shizuru is so important in this story (you see Shizuru how much in the actual series?) Anyway, thanks for the review!

Foxgirl Ray: No problem. It bugs me too. I don't know...I've been struggling with Kurama's personality in this story. I think the reason for that is that normally it's the girls going after him, not the other way around. I'm not trying to make excuses, especially since personally, I think he gets even more OOC (sorry, thought I should warn you) in the next few chapters. After that, it's kind of...eh. so-so, I guess. Not quite as bad as it was last chapter and definitely not as bad as in the next few chapters but still...not completely Kurama-ish. I really do apologize. Thanks for the review! (Between you and me reviews with constructive criticism are my favorites.) Alsoooo...I just got your review to chapter thirty seven. Fixing yourself...well, I don't feel Anna is broken to anyone but herself. Therefore, she is the only one who can do anything. And she's not going to be by herself. :) One question: what do you mean by Kurama's dark side? You kind of lost me there...

animegrlsteph: glad you're looking forward to it. I got stuck for so long on these chapters because Anna wasn't looking forward to it. Which is why nothing super-important happens in this chapter since she's trying to avoid doing what she really needs to do.

Sarcastic Nightmare: yeah...I'm getting mixed responses on his calling the police. I think that, while it's not something he'd normally do, Kurama is a bit...off-balance because he has no idea to handle his feelings. what a stupid kid he can be. Anyways, I'm happy you liked it and thanks for the review!


	41. Forty

**Runaway Train Tearing Up the Track**

**Anna POV**

Public records. It should be there, right? "Excuse me," I tell the woman at the desk. "I'm looking for the marriage and, or death certificate of Katsumi Matthews. Or Katsumi Hiro."

"No problem, darlin'," she says. After several minutes, she says, "I have a divorce record here for a Katsumi and Jeremy Matthews…"

I nod. "That's her."

"Okie-dokie…other records I have for her…Marriage certificate. She married Earl Nelson on August 16, 2003."

I grimace. "I knew there was a reason I hated her." The woman gives me a strange look, so I add, "She broke my father's heart, abandoned me and my brother and divorced my father in May of 2003. I think in our hearts we all knew it was another man even though none of us ever said it out loud. Do you have an address you could give me?"

She gives me the address, which I'm not sure is actually legal but whatever. "Thanks for all your help." Now for the beginnings of the unpleasantness that can only get worse.

_Thirty minutes later…_

What gets me is that she didn't even have the decency to move to a different town. She just stayed here. She could have run into one of us at any time, but that didn't matter to her.

I knock on her door. A little girl of about five answers the door. Oh god. She is unbelievable. "Is your mother home?" I ask her.

She just stares at me blankly until a man rushes up behind her. "Wendy, what are you doing? We told you not to answer the door without one of us." He shoos her away from the entrance and faces me. "Yes?"

"Earl Nelson?"

"Mm-hmm." He looks at me questioningly.

"Is Katsumi home?"

He nods. "Come on in." He leads me to the kitchen, where the little girl stares at me with big brown eyes, tinted green. "You can wait here. She's upstairs, I'll go get her. Who should I tell her wants to see her?"

"Anna. She'll know who I am."

He has no reaction to my name. Did she never tell him? Who else is she lying to?

I turn to the girl and address her in Japanese, "Hello. How old are you?"

Hearing the Japanese, her face brightens. "Five and a half," she answers. She's so young, so cute. I can't resent her for what her mother—our mother—did to me years ago.

My mother walks in, eyes wide. "Anna." That's all she says. She doesn't need to say anything else.

I can hardly keep from glaring. We stand at opposite ends of the room, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking. Finally I ask, "Why did you leave?"

"I didn't love him anymore."

"You were married to Earl less than three months later. I can do the math."

She sighs. "I fell in love with Earl. Your father was never home. He didn't love me. Earl gets home every night, and he takes care of me!"

What is she saying? "I was twelve. I remember everything. I wasn't some little kid whose memories you can mold to fit your purposes, your agenda," I snap. "You are selecting details. He _occasionally_ missed dinner. He _occasionally_ had to go out of town for work. He was _occasionally_ too tired to kiss you when he got home. It wasn't him. It wasn't ever him. It was always you. He waited for you to come back. He was still waiting when he died." By this point I am screaming at her in Japanese. Her new husband's face seems a bit shocked; I guess he isn't exactly fluent yet.

She screams right back at me, "So what if that's true? Is it a crime to leave a man you don't love in order to be with the man you do love? Is it, Anna?"

Silence falls over us, and after a moment, I whisper, "No. It's not a crime. But when you left him, you abandoned your daughter and son too. That…that's not a crime. It's just a downright bitchy thing to do."

Her eyes go wide. I turn away from her and face Earl. Switching easily to English, I tell him, "Take care of Wendy. With a mother like that, she'll need it."

His eyes narrow, and he says, his voice bordering on threatening, "Don't talk about my wife that way."

I nod. "I wasn't talking about your wife. I was talking about my mother." I face her again and say in English, so Earl can understand me, "I stopped thinking of you as my mother long ago. This was just the closure I needed. Goodbye Katsumi." And I walk away, out the front door and down the street.

_Four hours later…_

"Hey, Evan." This is so awkward.

"Anna?" he asks in surprise.

"Yeah, it's me. Back after all these years."

"I never thought I'd see you again when you…just stopped communication."

"That's what I came about Evan. I need to sort through my past, so I can have a future. One thing I needed to do was apologize. And I'm sorry, Evan. I was trying so hard to escape my father's death and anything associated with it. And because of that, you got caught in the crossfire."

He nods. "I understand. And I forgave you for it long ago. You just need to forgive yourself."

"Thanks Evan. That's more than I deserve. Do you know where I could find Liza and Amy?"

He hesitates then says, "They were together in a car that was hit by a drunk driver a year and a half ago. Liza died on impact, and Amy is still in a coma." Oh. I'm not sure…but the way I left things…Anna, you will always have regrets. Just try to make it so you don't have any more than you already do. When I don't answer, he asks tentatively, "Where have you been lately? You almost have an accent…I can't place it…"

"I've been in Japan for the last six months. I got back here, and my English was a little rusty. That's at least part of it." I smile. Evan was always so sweet. It's amazing that he has changed so little in the last four years. It's amazing that we can talk so openly like this.

He laughs. "Okay. Is there a reason you came back now?"

"While I was in Japan, I fell in love with this guy, Evan. He loves me too. But he doesn't know I love him. I can't let him know that until I've dealt with all the issues I've run away from in the past. Do you understand?"

"Of course. Could you describe him? I just want to know what kind of guy is going to be taking care of you, Anna." What? He isn't mad at me? We were dating when I left… "We were fourteen, Anna. We both knew it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Now I can just be happy for you. What's he look like? What type of person is he?"

I dig into the pocket of my pants and pull out the photograph Shizuru gave me just before I got onto the plane. I hand it to Evan, and he unfolds it. He looks at it. "He looks…kind. But there's something about his eyes that is hard to place. It's like he cares about people in general but would do anything to protect those closest to him."

"You always were too good at reading people, Evan. He loves me. He doesn't get mad at me when I do something that hurts him, physically or emotionally. He cares. He's strong, physically and mentally. He's smart. I really don't deserve him."

"Yes, Anna. You do deserve him. I know you do."

"Thanks Evan."

* * *

Well...chapter forty. That seems like a lot. Anyway, I really like this chapter. It was fun to write. I actually enjoy the scene with Anna's mother a lot. Anna is the only person who remains important that I own. And I don't know if it's shown up yet, but I got a new profile picture. :) :) :) Keith Harkin makes me so happy. :) :) :) So. Moving on to the reviews.

Aya Ayame: I'm happy to hear you enjoy the way I've written Anna and Kurama. I've been struggling with Kurama on this story...normally he isn't this frustrating. Maybe it's because I don't normally write stories that focus solely on romance/love...

Sarcastic Nightmare: You hit the keyword there: finally.

animegrlsteph: yes, it fits. now two questions: first, pertaining to this chapter, do you think Anna's attitude toward her mom says anything about me? Second, jake pov, holy water songfic: should it be a bonus chapter posted at the appropriate time, or a story in itself, posted at the appropriate time?

joey'sBrooklynRage: Glad you liked it. :)

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Internal conflict! YAY! Someone (other than me) said those words! I'd dance but I'm too lazy to get up! Yes, this story is entirely based in internal conflict. At least up till this point. Later it'll get all...not quite so internal since there are two people involved, but it'll still be emotional turmoil...Anyway, thanks for the review!


	42. Forty One

**Runaway Train Burning in My Veins**

**Anna POV**

I don't want to do this. I think I was hoping no one would know where he is. But of course I had to ask his mother. She didn't even remember me. I guess that's to be expected.

At any rate, she gave me his address. Oh, I really don't want to talk to him. I knock on the door. After a minute, when no one answers, I knock again, more loudly this time.

The door swings open, revealing a girl who can't be more than fifteen or sixteen. She's wearing a tank top and short shorts. If this is what I think it is… He appears behind her.

He's just as handsome as he was four years ago, maybe even more so. Which is precisely the problem. Compared to Kurama, though, there is something he lacks. Perhaps it's the lack of subtle definition of his muscles, or the fact that his eyes do not possess any of Kurama's warmth. Maybe I'm simply reading a physical aspect into the fact that he always lacked the love Kurama obviously feels.

The girl smiles warmly at me. "Why don't you come in?" His face sours when she asks that, but he doesn't say anything.

I nod. "Thank you." My god, I hate him.

He doesn't look happy to see me either. "Anna." His voice isn't nervous or ashamed or even surprised. It's irritated. I interrupted him. Good.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Connor?" I ask. I don't intend to make it sound that mocking, but I don't care that it comes out that way either.

His eyes narrow slightly. "Anna, this is Lily. Lily, this is Anna."

She smiles. "Nice to meet you." I nod as she curls her arm around his and looks up at him adoringly. He bends his head slowly forward and kisses her, but his eyes never leave mine. When he pulls away, Lily giggles and blushes. "How do you know each other?" she asks.

"Anna was an old girlfriend," he says grinning. "You come here to beg me to take you back?"

"Don't flatter yourself." I look at Lily, "He's the bastard who told me he loved me, took my virginity, then dropped me like a stone."

Her brows are knit together in confusion. It's evident he's been telling her he loves her, and now she's having doubts about his sincerity. As well she should. At least I've done one good thing.

He glares at me and pulls his arm away from Lily. "You just wait here, okay, Lily? I need a word alone with Anna."

She nods, as though she's in shock. I don't blame her. Back then, I would have had trouble believing it too. I follow him into his bedroom. He closes the door. "What the hell are you doing here, Anna?"

"I need to resolve the issues from my past in order to have a future. You're one of the biggest."

He grins. "I stuck with you that much, eh?" He looks quite pleased with himself. Such an egoist.

"Unfortunately."

Suddenly he steps forward, wraps his arms around me and kisses me. So I knee him where it hurts. He squeaks and steps back. "What was that for?" His voice is several octaves higher than normal as he collapses onto the bed and curls up slightly.

"For doing what you did to me four years ago."

He groans and sits up. I hate him so much. "That was a long time ago, Anna. Your brother already kicked my ass. My nose still isn't the same shape."

Pathetic. He is truly pathetic. What could I possibly have seen in him? "Jake fought that, not me." I move forward and slap him as hard as I can.

"That is also for what you did to me." I slap him across the other side of his face with my left hand. "That is for trying to cheat on your girlfriend when she's in the next room. Which, by the way, is completely illegal. When you and I were together neither of us was a legal adult. You're twenty one now, Connor. She can't be more than sixteen. That's known as statutory rape."

His eyes widen at my accusation. "Why you…!" he spits at me. He lunges toward me, but I quickly sidestep him. Living in the forest improves your reflexes tremendously. He falls to the ground. I laugh. I hate him so much.

"I'm not the stupid, weak fifteen year old I used to be, Connor." I grin. "But I hate you just as much as I did when I realized you had just been using me."

He jumps up and moves to throw a punch. I dodge and catch his arm, twisting it up painfully behind him. "How the hell?" he shouts.

"You haven't been working out, Connor. I'm disappointed." Even I can hear the condescension in my voice. "I, on the other hand, have not lived with civilized society for two and a half years. Heavy lifting is sometimes necessary."

"You bitch!" he screams.

"Shhh," I say, mocking him. "Your neighbors might think to report a domestic disturbance." I let go of his arm and push him away from me.

He spins around. His intentions are far too obvious. It's no wonder Jake had no problem beating him up. I can't help but snort. It's also most likely tied to his preying on teenage girls. He has inadequacy issues. I duck, and his slap misses me. I punch him in the nose. There is a crunch under my fingers as his nose breaks. It's a disturbingly pleasant sensation. As blood begins to pour out, I smile sweetly and say, "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit a girl?"

I spin on my left foot, using my right to send him slamming into the door. He hits it, stumbles a few feet then hits the ground. I step over him and open the door. "If you're lucky, when your face heals it'll be the same shape as before. That's what you want, right?"

I walk out. Hm. Lily's nowhere to be seen. I guess she gave at least a little bit of credence to my words. I close the door to his apartment and walk down the stairs.

That was strangely pleasant. But perhaps I did overdo it. No. I broke his nose and damaged his pride. Then there's…at least the girls he seduces won't get knocked up now. That can only be a good thing.

**Kurama POV**

"Come on," Shizuru says as I pick at my hamburger. "You haven't eaten a square meal for two weeks, Kurama. You're going to kill yourself. How do you think that'll make Anna feel when she comes back?"

Two weeks? Is that all it's been? It feels like a lot longer. "Why's it matter?" I mumble. "She's not coming back."

"Yes she is, Kurama. You just have to trust her."

"I do trust her. But I've also seen what she does when she's afraid of something. She runs."

Shizuru sighs in frustration. "She's not running this time, Kurama. Ugh. This would be so much easier if I could just tell you everything. She is running, but she isn't running away. She's running toward…us by a very circuitous route. She promised me she'd come back." What does all that even mean?

"She might've just been saying that."

Shizuru groans and flops her head onto her arms, which are crossed on the table. "You're an idiot, Kurama."

"I suppose." I stand and dump my burger in the trash and stick my plate in the sink. And I return to my room and lay back down on my bed.

I want Anna back.

* * *

Well...there you have it. Chapter forty one. I only own Anna. Well, Connor too. But that is over and done with. Sorry Kurama was a bit (or a lot, depending on your POV) OOC in this chapter. That's just what happened. At this point in the story, what's going on with Anna is more important (sorry Kurama! I do love you!). On to reviews.

animegrlsteph: Evan is rather sweet. I'm trying to figure out how she went from someone like Evan to someone like Connor...

Angel of Randomosity: yeah, she pretty much stuck it to her mom there. I really don't like her mom. As for your little rhyme...BEST THING EVER. That definitely made my day.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Obviously, you were correct! There is just so much she needs to do in America it would never fit in one chapter. I felt, as her second biggest problem, Connor needed a chapter to himself. As for her biggest problem, which I'm guessing you're wondering about (sorry if I'm wrong), that's next chapter! YAY!

Aya Ayame: It's cool. It makes me happy to see people review consistently. Especially when they consistently enjoy the story. Anna a puzzle...ummm...yes. Definitely. I'm the author, and I don't understand her. Kurama's in love with her and doesn't understand her. Whatever.


	43. Forty Two

**I Run Away But It Always Seems the Same**

**Anna POV**

Sitting in the passenger seat of some guy's car, I pull out the picture of Kurama. It makes me sad. His eyes are laughing, and he's biting his lip to keep from laughing aloud. It makes me sad because I miss him. And because in my heart I know he's not like that right now.

"Who's 'at?" the guy asks.

"It's complicated." Not really. The facts are easy enough to understand. It's my actions that don't make much sense.

"You like each other, but one of you has another girlfriend?"

"What?"

He looks at me, confused. "Lesbian love triangle, right?"

I look at the picture and burst out laughing. "This is a guy."

He opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it before anything comes out.

After a long silence, I say, "He's in love with me, and I love him. But…yeah. Just trust me when I say it's complicated. This is the exit I need."

I prepare to get out, but he doesn't pull over. Instead he says, "Give me the directions, and I'll take you wherever you're going."

"Thanks."

For the next half hour I direct him until he pulls up in front of the Swifts' house. There's a rusty, blue pickup in the drive. That's weird. They have enough money that they don't need to drive a rusty, old gas-guzzler like that. Did they move? Only one way to find out. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem." I get out, and he drives away.

I walk to the door and ring the bell. What if they've moved? I didn't realize I was counting on them still being here so much.

A young man answers the door. We look at each other a moment before we both open our mouths in surprise. Then, "Anna!"

Jake takes a single step forward and hugs me. Oh, how I've missed him! I hug back, leaning my head onto his chest. Wait… "You smell clean, Jake."

"You see me for the first time in more than two years and the first thing you comment on is how I smell?"

"Jake…" I pull away from him.

He pulls away from me too, but he keeps hold of my hands. "Okay, I suppose I deserved that. But you obviously have some explaining to do too." I nod. But then he says, "I have a good guess of why you left, so that's not what I'm talking about. _This_ is what I'm talking about." He turns my arms over, making the effects of my suicide attempt all too obvious.

"Oh," I say. "That. I'll tell you once you've let me in and explained what you've been doing for the last two and a half years."

He smiles. "Okay. I missed you, Anna. Just one question: why is Japanese the first language you address me in? Is English really too much to ask?"

I shake my head and switch back. "I got excited and forgot I was in America again. I've been in Japan for the last six months."

As we go inside he shakes his head. "Only you, Anna. No one else could have run away and ended up on the other side of the world."

"Shut up." I pause then say, "When did you get clean, Jake? And why?"

"When?" he asks. "About five months after I realized you left. Which was about two months after you actually left. I think that's when I realized you weren't coming back."

"You knew I hadn't been kidnapped?" A seventeen year old girl, especially one who's smaller, like me, wouldn't be all that hard to abduct.

"No," he says, shaking his head. His dark hair is cut short, and his brown eyes are almost confused. "The Swifts suspected abduction. But me… I don't know. I was stoned about seventy five percent of the time back then, Anna. You know that. Some drug-induced logic led me to believe you left because of the drugs. Then in my drugged state I came to the conclusion that if I got clean you'd know and come back."

I smile. "You were half right. I left because of the drugs. How are they doing, Jake?"

"Well…Maria was broken with worry when you left. Couldn't sleep, wouldn't eat." God. I'm such a terrible person. Why do I do such things to people who care about me? "Mark was worried too, but he tried to hide it, so Maria would have someone to lean on."

"Anything else?"

He smiles. "I just finished getting my GED a few months ago. Now Maria and Mark are helping me get through trade school."

I snort. "More than I can say for myself."

"Why'd you try to kill yourself again, Anna? And who exactly do I need to thank for saving you?"

"I'm in love with this guy. Kurama," I say as I hand him the photo. "But I was scared because I really haven't had many relationships where I didn't get hurt. Then I was confused and angry…suicide crossed my mind again about a month ago. But I stopped myself."

"You're making progress. Who do I need to thank?"

"Kurama. Shizuru. Yusuke. Yukina. Keiko. Botan. But mostly Kurama."

"Okay, what's the phone number?"

"You were serious?" When he nods, I add, "You can't. Only Shizuru knows I came back to America."

"Why didn't you tell the others?"

"I had to fight these battles alone."

"Plural." Of course he noticed. He always did pick up on the most important bits.

"I didn't know you got clean, so I wasn't looking forward to seeing you. Sorry. Then I had to apologize to Evan." His blank look indicates he doesn't remember who that is. Oh well. "I had to fight Connor on my own." I hurry on before he can say anything, "I confronted our mother."

"And then you came here." He hugs me. "I'm glad you're back, Anna. If only for a short time."

"How'd you know I'm not staying?"

"You said you love him," Jake says simply.

I nod and lean up against him. We both jump when a male voice behind us says, "Jake, you know I don't want you alone in my house with girls. If you want to do that, you can take it somewhere else."

Oh my god. Did he really just say that? Same old Mark… "Ummm, Mark?" Jake says carefully. "This girl…anything more than a quick kiss on the cheek would be extremely awkward. Even a kiss on the cheek might be awkward now."

I shake my head. "No." Mark looks at me more carefully. His eyes widen, his mouth opens slightly, and he freezes. "Hey," I say.

"Anna!" He rushes over and hugs me. "Thank god you're safe." He's not even mad at me… "What happened?"

"Can we leave that till Maria gets here? I've already explained it to Jake, but I don't want to say it two more times."

"That's fine. She should be home soon." The deadbolt turns in the front door, and we all hear the thunk it makes. "Speak of the devil. Jake, I think she should be warned."

Jake's on his feet in a second, heading toward the door. "Maria," he says. "I don't want you to have a heart attack, but…"

"But what?" she asks sharply. No nonsense, as usual.

"Anna's back."

"Don't say things like that, Jake. It's not funny."

"She's in the living room."

There is a very loud silence. Then a clatter as all of Maria's work things hit the ground. She rushes into the room and all but tackles me. "Anna!" she shrieks.

"Sorry I ran away. I couldn't deal with it anymore."

"What have you been doing the last two and a half years?" she asks, looking me up and down as if to make sure I'm all in one piece.

"Living in a forest."

"Oh, Anna," Jake sighs. Oh yeah. I haven't told him that part yet.

_One hour later…_

I finish telling them all that has happened. Slowly, I ask, "Would it be too much to ask to request making an international call?"

"Why?" Mark asks.

"I promised Shizuru."

He nods. "That's fine."

"Jake, I need your help." I pull him off the couch and toward the phone.

"Why?"

"If anyone other than Shizuru answers the phone…"

"Oh." He rolls his eyes.

**Kurama POV**

I stir the cereal around in my bowl. I'm not hungry. But Shizuru said I'm not allowed to leave the table until I eat it all. I'm not hungry. How can I eat when I'm not hungry?

The phone rings. Shizuru gets up to answer it, but she never stops watching me. I guess she doesn't want me to slip away.

"Hello," she says. After a pause, "This is Shizuru. May I ask who's calling?" Another pause then, "Oh!" What on earth could make her excited? Nothing's worth it now that Anna's gone. "It was no problem. I love her too." Who are they talking about? "Let me talk to her." After another pause she says, "Finally. I was starting to worry you wouldn't call." So she was expecting this.

I stand and move to leave. "Not till you finish that cereal, Kurama. And the milk." Oh. I forgot. I sink back into my seat.

**Anna POV**

"He's not eating?" I ask.

"Not if he can help it. You really need to…"

"I know. I'll come back in a couple of weeks. After running out on them, it's the least I can do to stay more than a couple of days. Especially if I want them to buy me the ticket."

"Good," she sighs. "I look forward to it."

"Shizuru…in the meantime, could you tell him something for me? And omit that it's from me?"

She hesitates then says, "Sure."

**Kurama POV**

Shizuru laughs. What could be funny? Who is she talking to? I don't care. I'm not hungry. "I could kiss you right now!" she says. Anna is the only one I want to kiss… "But I think I'll pass and leave that to him. Bye."

She sits down in the seat across from me. "I've been thinking about Anna," she says, suddenly serious.

"Me too," I mumble, forcing down a bite of soggy cheerios.

She looks up at the ceiling and then back at me. "I know. And I have one thing to say: absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Or it makes the heart forget."

"Not in this case, Kurama, I promise."

Whatever. I try to stand, but she reaches across the table and jerks me back into my seat by the front of my shirt. "Not until you finish that one measly bowl of cereal, Kurama."

* * *

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I'd give you reasons (or excuses), but I know you don't really want to hear that. Anyway, I only own Anna, Jake and Dr. Takei (well, Mark and Maria, but let's face it, they're really not that important). Also...the titles of the chapters have been the lyrics to the song 'Runaway Train' by Soul Asylum. If you care and know the song, you'll realize that this chapter is the last line to the song. So after this...different song. Moving on the the crazy number of reviews...

Foxgirl Ray: Yeah...sorry about the pathetic Kurama. It irritates me too. But I couldn't think what to do with him, and it wouldn't work to have him just disappear completely from the story while she's away. So I chose this half-way believable situation. In reference to how strong Anna is...I didn't think it was possible, but she's even more fun to write when she gets back. :)

Starmaid15: I have not heard that song. I'll have to look it up. :) The song that goes with Anna to me (at least from Jake's POV) is Holy Water by Big and Rich. Thanks for the review and here's your update!

SolitaryNyght: I'm glad to hear you are enjoying the story. I find how Kurama's acting rather irritating. But I didn't know what else to do with him while Anna's gone.

Angel of Randomosity: Nope. Biggest problem (i.e. the straw that broke the camel's back) is Jake's drugs. Not Jake. Just the drugs. But actually...I really like Jake. And you have no idea how much my OCs annoy me *glares at Kiyoshi*

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Oh, that made me laugh. The first time I read the review and the second time. :D I agree. But Anna just doesn't have that kind of time. And she really doesn't care enough to bother with something like that. He's not worth her time or trouble. And you are totally right in saying Kurama's one of the things that will put her on the right path.

animegrlsteph: You have absolutely no idea how much fun that chapter was to write. No idea. None.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Ding ding ding. yes, Jake and his drugs. Or rather, the drugs. Kurama getting a hold of Connor...there's an interesting idea...

Insanity4Apples: Haha, that's funny about the kids in your class. Yeah...there was some direct influence from one of my friend's exes on choosing Connor's name... And yes, poor Kurama (although, he is being a bit of an idiot).


	44. Forty Three

**The Strands In Your Eyes That Color Them Wonderful**

_Five weeks later…_

**Anna POV**

Why am I so nervous? There's nothing to be nervous about. It's the plane. I don't like planes because of all the people. But I've been on planes before. There is no reason I should be more nervous this time.

Just face it, Anna. I sigh. I'm not nervous because of the planes or even the people on the planes. I'm nervous because I'm going to be seeing Kurama again.

"What's wrong, Anna?" Jake asks me, glancing away from the road.

"I'm just going to miss you guys is all," I reply. The Swifts didn't come with us. They both had to work today, but we had a nice goodbye dinner last night.

Jake's eyes flicker toward me again. "That's not all, Anna. It may have been two and a half years, but I can still see when you're lying to me."

"It's just…it's nothing, Jake. Don't worry about it."

He pulls into a parking space at the airport. "How can I not worry when I'm sending my baby sister halfway around the world? I don't know how long it's going to be before I see you again. I don't want to send you off all nervous."

"I'm not your baby sister anymore, Jake. In less than a month, we'll both be twenty."

He grins at me. "And less than a month after that, I turn twenty one. You'll always be my baby sister, and I'll always worry about you."

I climb out of his truck, and he does the same. I smile. "You have enough issues of your own. If either of us should be worrying about the other, _I_ should be worrying about _you_."

He laughs, and walks around the truck. "You wish."

I laugh and put my arm around his waist in a hug. He places his arm around my shoulders. "We're just one screwed up pair, aren't we?" I ask.

"Definitely."

I frown. "Dad would be so disappointed."

"No," he says looking at me. "He'd be disappointed where we were two years ago. I think right now…right now, he'd be proud we came back from that."

I smile, and we enter the building. As he walks me towards my terminal, he says, "He won't be mad, Anna."

"What?" I ask. How does he do that? How does he always know exactly what I'm worried about?

"If he really loves you, Anna, I doubt he'll be angry."

"But him being angry is only part of what I'm worried about," I tell Jake. No point in trying to hide what he already knows.

"What's the other part?" We sit down and wait for the plane to start boarding.

Ugh. I don't know. Just…I'm just… "I'm just…I'm still scared of people. It's habit. It'll take a while to break." That's not all.

"And?" Of course he knows that's not all.

"Now that I've picked up all the pieces and started putting them back together, I'm afraid they won't fit anymore."

"There we go," he says. "_That's_ what you're really worried about. You're afraid that since your heart isn't quite so broken, it won't fit with his any longer."

I sigh and nod. "Yes…Now that I've somewhat fixed myself, there is no way our relationship could not change. But I don't know how it will change. I don't know if the change will be a good one or not."

He hugs me. "Think about it like this, Anna. If he loves you less now that you've resolved your issues, he never really loved you."

"That wouldn't make it hurt any less."

He kisses the top of my head. "I know. But if you want that happiness you have to take those risks. Just tell me, is he worth the risk? If the answer is no, I can't let you get on that plane, Anna."

Is he worth the risk? I see his eyes, both golden and green. Then there's the way I feel when he holds me, even if it's just to stop my tears. He didn't question me when I woke him in the middle of the night, just did what he could to help me. And all I've done is hurt him. "Yes," I finally say. "Definitely worth it."

Oh. There's also the small matter of how I felt when he was kissing me. I may have been drunk, but what I was feeling remained long after the alcohol was gone. "Anna," Jake says. "Why are you blushing?"

"Nothing," I say. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I want to hear it. I think I deserve it, since you're leaving me for who knows how long."

"Don't you try and guilt trip me!"

"Please?"

I glare. He's going to bug me until I tell him. "We both got drunk and we…kissed."

He grins, and it looks more than a little mischievous. "By kissed I somehow get the feeling that you two—"

"Yes. Shut up. Keiko and Yusuke had to pull us off each other."

He starts laughing. "Wish I could've seen that," he hoots.

"Okay, you can shut up now."

Over the intercom or whatever it is, they announce my flight is boarding. He stands, takes a step toward me and hugs me. With his arms still around me, he says, "If you can manage it, call me when you get home, okay?"

I freeze. Home. He said _home_. Since Dad died, I haven't had a home. And until now, I didn't realize that's how I feel about the temple.

In response to my surprise, Jake steps back and takes hold of my shoulders. "You acted like a guest the entire time you were here. I'm not stupid, Anna. America isn't your home anymore. Japan is your home, and they are your family." He sounds sad.

"Jake…you're my family too." Too? Where did that come from? That means I do think of them as my family…

"I know. But you're choosing them."

"No, Jake, that's not how it is." But isn't it? I could easily call and tell Shizuru I'm not coming back. I could stay here with Jake. But I wouldn't be happy. Oh. "I'm choosing him."

He looks at me, so I add, "If I didn't love him, I'd stay. I like them all, but you're more important to me than the rest of them combined."

"Thanks, Anna. I love you too. Tell him that if he breaks your heart, he'll have to answer to me."

I smile. "I don't think that warning's necessary. I already told him what you did to Connor. He's smart enough that he can figure it out on his own."

Jake laughs, hugs me and says, "Now get on that plane, and go be happy."

**Kurama POV**

The police still haven't found her. I don't get it. Where could she have gone? Shizuru sets a bowl of soup in front of me. "Eat," she commands. "Or I will force it down your throat."

Why is she so insistent that I eat? I don't want food.

"Starving yourself won't bring her back any faster, Kurama."

"She's not coming back."

"Yes, she is." How can she be so sure? When I neither respond nor begin eating, she sighs. "Fine. I'll make a deal with you, Kurama. If you eat at least two-decent sized meals a day, I will tell you where she is in two weeks."

"You know where she is? Where is she, Shizuru?" I demand.

"I swore I wouldn't tell you until two months had passed. But if you don't eat, I won't tell you even after that."

I blink and force down a spoonful of the soup.

* * *

Yay! Anna's coming back! Now, moving on to the reviews... Oh yes. From here on out, the chapter titles will be the lyrics to the song "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain.

joey'sBrooklynRage: I wouldn't call it ironic, really. It's just my sister and my mother always think he's a girl and in one of the books, Togashi himself pokes fun at how, er, feminine (did I spell that right? whatever) Kurama looks. I don't know...that just kind of...I was bored. Yusuke becomes a demon when he "dies" during the fight with Sensui (end of book 16, beginning of 17; I couldn't tell you what anime episode(s) that is). Hope that helps. :)

Insanity4Apples: Yes, I love Jake. :) Not sure why, but I do. Notice how Kurama stops being a complete idiot the moment he has an incentive related to finding out where Anna is?

SolitaryNyght: Thanks for your review and here's your update!

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Long overdue, definitely. Not sure when it's coming. Soon, as far as chapter numbers go. As far as actual time in the story/when I give updates...not really sure on that one. :)

animegrlsteph: I love Jake. Almost as much as I love Anna, which seems weird. Maybe that's because Jake doesn't annoy me the way Anna does. And Shizuru cracks me up. How did you like her at the end of this chapter? And just wait, Shizuru gets even better as the story goes on. :D

Starmaid15: Glad you enjoyed the way Shizuru acts. :) By 'the subtle joke at the beginning' I assume you mean the guy mistaking Kurama for a girl. That...well, I wasn't sure how to start this chapter. And that's kind of what came out, probably influenced by Togashi's making fun of Kurama's appearance at one point in the series. And I wouldn't exactly call it subtle...

Angel of Randomosity: Hahahaha. That little script made me laugh. As for OCs bugging you in your head...I only have three but one of them has become so real I walk around having conversations with him OUT LOUD. He has me getting up and doing things for him. Maybe not as many but still...I swear he's taken over my life. (Sorry you have so many, though. I can only imagine...) I guess we both have it pretty bad. :)

Sarcastic Nightmare: Yes, Kurama will be happy. Once he realizes...never mind that's next chapter. Next chapter makes me laugh. :)


	45. Forty Four

**Stop Me and Steal My Breath**

_Three days later…_

**Anna POV**

I use a bit of the money the Swifts gave me to call the temple. If Kurama is anything like he was when I called before…oh, why do I do things like that to the people I care about? Just thinking of the little bit of information I got from Shizuru is killing me. But it's a good bet that he won't care enough to answer the phone.

Sure enough, it's Shizuru's voice that comes over the line. "Hello?"

"Hey, Shizuru."

"Anna!" she exclaims.

"Kurama better not be within earshot."

"No." Her voice is full of disapproval. "He's hiding in his room, as usual."

"Well, could you get him away from the temple for a few hours?"

"Why?"

"I'm in town. I thought I'd stop by. I want to surprise him."

"Really?" she nearly shouts. "Today?"

"Yes, today," I reply. "Could you try not to shout? I guess I could stay in town tonight, if that's better…"

"Sorry about the yelling," she says, talking faster than I've ever heard her talk. "And today is good. Today is perfect. It wouldn't matter if it was the middle of the night. The sooner you get back, the better. I don't care if I have to drag him out of the house and shove him in the trunk to get him to leave. If it will make you come back faster, he will be out of the temple."

"Thanks, Shizuru."

"Uh-huh. Thank god you're back. I was honestly thinking of putting him on a twenty four hour a day suicide watch." She hangs up, and I slowly put the phone back.

A suicide watch? For Kurama? _I_ should be the one they're watching. Not Kurama. Never Kurama. And it's all my fault. Why do I do things like that to people I love? It's wrong. All my fault. I start walking the familiar path to the temple. The path home.

**Kurama POV**

My door suddenly slams open. I jump. Shizuru stands there looking at me a moment. Then she says, "Okay, I'm sick of your moping. Get up."

"Shizuru…" I say. What is she on about? Oh, it hardly matters.

"Get. Up," she repeats slowly. "Get your depressed butt out of bed, and get it out to the car. You need to get out of the house."

"Why?"

"Why? Because you're wallowing in your own misery. You've been having a pity-party for a month and a half. I'm sick of it."

"I'm eating now, Shizuru," I mutter, looking away from her. What does any of it matter? Anna's gone. And despite what Shizuru says, I doubt she's coming back. Why would she come back? There's nothing here she would come back for. She already said I was her best friend. And I know she won't come back for me.

"You may be eating, but that only solves the immediate danger to your life. Now I'm focusing on the emotional trauma." She takes a few steps toward me. "If you don't come willingly, I will drag you into town with me."

"I'm not presentable."

"Then _make_ yourself presentable. If you don't, I will take you with me anyway."

I sigh. She won't be giving up. "Fine." I drag myself out of bed and grab some clean clothes.

As I take a shower, I'm forced to wonder why Shizuru was so intent on getting me out of the house. Last time she did that, it was because Anna needed to talk to her. But Shizuru is going with me this time.

Oh, Anna. Why'd you leave? Where are you now? I'm so…worried. The trouble Anna could get into… I don't like to think about that. It isn't fair…twelve hundred years…I finally find someone, and she can't get away from me fast enough. I just…I don't care anymore. I don't care if Anna won't love me. All I want is for her to be here. I don't care if she doesn't love me, as long as she'll let me love her.

I turn off the water, dry off and get dressed. I walk out of the bathroom to find Shizuru waiting for me. "Took you long enough," she says. "Oh, stop looking so morose, Kurama. How would Anna feel if she knew you were grieving after her like somebody died?"

"She wouldn't care." Someone might as well have died. I'll see her as often as if she had… I put my face in my hands. If Anna had actually died…what would I have done then? Somehow, I suspect I might be able to understand what was going through Anna's head when she tried to kill herself. The idea that it's all just too much to handle.

"You," she says, grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the door, "are a depressed, love-sick fool."

"So?"

She groans, but she doesn't say anything else.

As we get to a more populated road, Shizuru stops trying to get me to talk and turns the music up. I stare out the window. Car after car passes us in the opposite direction. Wait… "Was that Anna?" I ask. The girl in that car definitely looked like Anna. But that's ridiculous. Anna wouldn't be here. She's long gone.

Shizuru's hands tighten on the wheel. "This obsession is getting old, Kurama."

We get to town, and I follow Shizuru blindly around the store as she grabs food to fill the pantry. Isn't food what Shizuru sent me for when Anna went to talk to her?

Two hours later…

"I'm going to sleep," I tell Shizuru as we get out of the car.

"No, you're not," she says. "Not until you've helped me carry all this inside."

Why? I…forget it. I grab as many sacks as I can and head inside. We get to the kitchen, and Shizuru looks around. I guess what she sees isn't what she expects because she frowns. What was she expecting? The only thing that would make a difference to me is if Anna were here. But what reason does she have to come back? None other than the people. And she's made it clear that people don't tie her down like they would anyone else.

I set the bags on the floor and head for my room. I just want to sleep. It's the one way I can get away from it all. I open the door. "Hey, Kurama."

**Anna POV**

He freezes in the doorway. His face is a mask of shock. I think the only times I've seen anyone more surprised were when Jake and the Swifts found out I'd come back. Actually, Kurama's surprise might surpass even that. Why on earth is he so shocked? Did he genuinely believe I was never coming back?

Oh, I feel sick to my stomach to think I hurt him that much. How will I ever make it up to him? I sit up from reclining on his bed. "Kurama?" I ask.

"Anna?" he croaks. Then he shakes his head. "I'm dreaming," he mutters. "You're dreaming, Kurama. Or hallucinating. Get a hold of yourself."

I get up and walk toward him. "You're not dreaming, Kurama."

"So I'm hallucinating. And I'm talking to my hallucination."

I bite my lip. What am I supposed to do? I feel like crying. He's in worse shape than Shizuru let on. And it's all my fault. But if I cry, what will he do? He'll probably start panicking or get even more upset than he already is. "Hug me, Kurama," I say. "You'll see that I'm real."

He steps forward slowly. "The real Anna would never let me hug her." Suddenly his face becomes serene. "Oh well. This hallucination is nice. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts."

He hugs me. I hate to do this. Haven't I already caused him enough pain? But someone needs to knock some sense into him. I punch him in the stomach.

"Ow!" he yelps, jumping back.

"Don't touch me," I mutter.

Shizuru rushes in, sees Kurama wheezing, sees me and asks, "Did he hug you?"

"I told him to. Then I took the opportunity to knock some sense into him."

Kurama looks at Shizuru. "You can see her?"

"Of course, you idiot."

He looks back at me. After a few seconds, he smiles like a little kid on Christmas. "Anna!" He takes a step forward as though he's going to hug me again. But then he seems to remember what happened a moment ago because he stops.

I shake my head. "I only hit you to get you to come to your senses, Kurama. I don't mind if you hug me." Why isn't he moving? Is he mad at me, like he should be? I…I want him to hug me. I know I don't deserve it, but I want it all the same. Does that make me selfish? And I'm still not sure how I feel about him…I think I'm having trouble separating how I feel about him from how I want to feel about him.

Oh forget it. I'll just let it all happen like it will. Que sera sera, right? I step forward and put my arms around him. His body stiffens in surprise. "I missed you, Kurama," I say, leaning my head forward to rest it on his chest. "I almost couldn't finish everything I had to do, I missed you so much."

He relaxes and wraps his arms around me and tilts his head up so that my head is kind of tucked beneath his chin. I knew how much I missed him; I hadn't realized how much I missed having him hold me like this. "I missed you, too, Anna."

Shizuru snorts. "That," she says, "is the biggest understatement I have ever heard in my life."

"Shut up," he mutters.

* * *

There you go! Yay for the reunion! You know who I own and on to the reviews.

Angel of Randomosity: Glad you're so happy. :) Such enthusiasm makes me happy. As for Shizuru...Shizuru gets better as the story goes on. She gets funnier the more she gets sick of babysitting their relationship. :D

Insanity4Apples: You're guess was close. And I'm sure he's lost weight, but it's not like he's been starving himself. He was eating when he was hungry. Only problem: he was never hungry.

Starmaid15: the tournament idea was actually fairly logical, under the circumstances...Yusuke actually had a good idea, there's a first. Anyway, the people thinking Kurama is Kuwabara's girlfriend isn't the only time. A bit later Yusuke makes a comment about it. :D How'd you like their reactions to seeing each other again? And Hiei talking more...I don't watch the anime, I just read the books, and he really doesn't talk much. He (reluctantly) explains when Yusuke doesn't understand something and when he's fighting he goes on about his strength. But when nothing exciting is happening, he (for the most part) just sits there and you can see him thinking 'they're ALL morons.' And now I'm blabbering, so I'll just shut up.

joey'sBrooklynRage: No problem. And hahaha, yes. What will happen next?

SolitaryNyght: I ended it right there because I have a sick obsession with cliffhangers. It's a miracle there haven't been more of them this story. Sometimes I go out of my way to end every chapter in a cliffie. Does that make me a terrible person? Anyway, I hope you liked your update.

wolvesrain17: NEW REVIEWER! YAY! Hope you enjoyed the reunion. Which will continue next chapter.

Aya Ayame: Glad you're excited. It makes me very happy to see people so enthusiastic about this story. :D

Sarcastic Nightmare: I hope you liked this chapter because it does make me laugh. Great way to pick up their relationship, no? And in response to Jake beating Kurama...we've seen quite often in the series that it's the force of the person's will that makes the difference. Jake is VERY protective of Anna (even if he is almost as much of an idiot as she is). I really don't know who would win that fight.

animegrlsteph: I love Jake. So much. End of story. I like his relationship with Anna, but I love him just as himself. Moving on...


	46. Forty Five

**Emeralds From Mountains Thrust Towards the Sky**

**Anna POV**

He just keeps staring at me. He isn't eating his food. Why won't he quit looking at me? "Quit watching me," I say. "It's creepy."

His green eyes continue to stare at me, unblinking, as though if he looks away I'll disappear again. I missed those eyes. Jake caught me staring at his picture more than once. Whenever that happened, it was always his eyes. And if I'm being honest with myself, I like it that Jake was right. I like it that he's not mad at me, no matter how much I deserve it. I eat my food. He still doesn't touch his. "Why'd you leave, Anna?"

"I had some unresolved…issues that had to be dealt with."

"Like what?"

I ignore him for a moment and turn to Shizuru. "How much did you tell him?"

"I told him I knew where you were, but I didn't actually tell him where you were."

"Oh. I figured you would have told him more."

"Where did you go, Anna? And what for?" he asks.

I sigh. He's really not going to let the details slide, is he? "I went to America to deal with the problems I left behind."

"What?" he objects, as though he can change it now. "No. Why didn't you tell me? I would've come with you."

Shizuru sighs. "I'm leaving now. I foresee this turning into a minor argument, and I don't want any part of that."

Kurama ignores her as she abandons me to my fate. Which is probably less than I deserve. "Why didn't you tell me, Anna?" he demands, those green, green eyes looking at me. Why on earth did I miss the intensity of those eyes so much? It really makes no sense. Right now, they are just making me feel worthless.

"I didn't want your help," I say quietly.

"What?" he asks.

"I didn't want your help," I repeat, an apology in my voice even though I don't mean for it to be there.

"Why not?" He looks as though I've insulted him. He's probably taking it as though I don't want him around. Which is so wrong it almost makes me want to laugh. I would laugh, except for the hurt he is trying to hide. Unsuccessfully.

"They were my problems, not yours. I needed to deal with them on my own."

"That doesn't mean you can't have help," he insists.

"Yes it does," I object. "Damn it, Kurama. I did what I did because I need to learn how not to run away from my problems."

"So why couldn't you at least _tell_ me?" he asks. His face no longer shows it, but I can hear the hurt that remains in his voice.

"You're so freaking _stubborn_ that you would have _followed_ me," I say loudly. "And I needed to learn to fight my own fights. If you had been there, you wouldn't have let me do that. You would have insisted on protecting me!" Why am I shouting at him? He doesn't deserve that. He should be shouting at me.

"My protection is a bad thing?" he asks.

"When it's not needed. I can take care of myself, Kurama," I mutter as I sit back down. I don't remember standing.

There is a long silence before he asks, "What did you achieve?"

What do I want to tell him? Everything? Yes…he deserves to know, after what I've put him through. "I went and talked to my mother. Actually it was more of a shouting match. Then I talked to Evan which was totally awkward and anticlimactic." How am I supposed to tell him about Connor?

"What else? That didn't take you five weeks, Anna. What is it you don't want to tell me?"

"I talked to Connor," I sigh. Shock crosses his face, but I ignore it and continue, "Again, it wasn't a conversation so much as it was us shouting, me mocking him and his nose getting broken again."

"Oh Anna," he sighs.

"What?" I say. What's that resigned look supposed to mean? "He kissed me when his sixteen year old girlfriend was in the next room. I think he deserved it. In all honesty, I think he deserved a bit more than a broken nose."

Suddenly the corners of his mouth twitch upward. He's trying not to smile. "What else?"

"I went to my foster parents' house. Jake was still there." His amusement vanishes, and his eyebrows come together. "What?" I ask.

"Just…you told me Jake and the drugs were what pushed you to suicide the first time…it makes me worry."

I lean towards him. "Good thing Jake quit the drugs."

His eyes widen. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

I pull back and look down. "Kurama…"

"Yes?" he asks quietly.

I look up at him. "What were you doing while I was gone?"

He looks away from me, as if he is ashamed. "I…nothing. I basically did nothing the entire time you were gone. All I wanted to do was sleep. Shizuru basically had to force me to eat. None of it seemed worth it… I didn't think you were ever coming back."

"Oh, Kurama." I slide my hand across the table and rest it on top of his. "What would make you think that? I'm happy here. Why on earth would I stay away forever?"

Staring at my hand, he says. "You admitted that you were starting to form some sort of attachment to me. You said I was your friend, at least." If only I could tell him how much of an understatement that is. But I'm still afraid. What if it's not real? What if it's just some hormonal reaction to how he feels about me? I can't hurt him like that. And he deserves so much more than me anyway. He goes on, "I thought you had run away because you were scared of what being close to someone might mean." Oh. Now that train of thought…that actually makes sense. Finally he says, "Shizuru kept promising me you'd come back, but I didn't believe her."

"Kurama, I'm so sorry." The words are out before I know they're coming. Before he can respond I pull my hand away and stand. I look around. "I…I need to go call Jake. I promised I'd call him when I got home."

**Kurama POV**

As she hurries away I am struck by two things. First…she feels bad about hurting me? More importantly, she just…Anna…she thinks of this place as her home?

* * *

First, sorry it's been so long since I updated. I'm a terrible person. You know who I own, and here we go to the reviews!

AprilMae72: I am very happy to see you're enjoying it! I agree that seeing Kurama sad is weird...but that's all I could think of. No more sad Kurama now though! Just confused...which is, perhaps, equally weird.

a real lady: I am in complete agreement with you. But I didn't know what else to write. I obviously had to have something about what Kurama was doing while Anna was away, but it is relatively unimportant to the story as a whole. What Anna is doing while she's in America: important. What Kurama's doing: not so much. Anyway, the lack of importance is the reason I didn't put quite so much thought into it. Sorry, but I'm glad to see you suffered through that. :)

Starmaid15: Urgh. I hate the inconsistencies between the manga and the anime. Sorry, I could not for the life of me tell you what Yusuke said at the end (or the beginning or the middle) of any episode. So...for clarification, Rinku is Link. In the sixth/seventh books his name is translated as Rinku, but in the seventeenth-nineteenth books it's translated as Link. The translation as 'Link' was used more often, so that's the one I chose. I'm still trying to figure out why they did that. Same person, though. :) If you have a question about who said what in this chapter of this book, I could probably tell you that. ;)

Angel of Randomosity: Yoko has evidently been driven into a corner of self-pity because he thinks Anna could never love him. Now I'll borrow your words: stupid kitsune. Glad you liked their reunion, sorry the update was so long in coming.

SolitaryNyght: Sorry the update took me so long! Forgive me? Please?

animegrlsteph: Kurama irritates me when he's depressed. There's nothing else to it. But I couldn't think of anything else.

wolvesrain17: Here's your update. :D

Insanity4Apples: Who were you calling sweet? Me or Kurama? Kurama: yes. Me: not so much. At any rate, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed the update (finally!).

Sarcastic Nightmare: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated! I liked the punch to the stomach too. Leave it to Anna to make the phrase 'knock some sense into him' literal.

Aya Ayame: And this is only the beginning of the drama to come... I can't wait, you have no idea! :)


	47. Forty Six

**Never Revealing Their Depth**

_One week later (October 19)…_

**Anna POV**

Oh, I'm so tired. My stomach growls. I guess I need to get up. But I don't _want_ to get up. Today is going to be a bad day.

I groan and open my eyes. I sit up. I wish I could just skip today. Go straight to tomorrow.

I stand and walk in my pajamas to the kitchen. Balloons hang from the ceiling, and a few streamers decorate the table. I ignore them, grab some cereal and make myself breakfast. Kurama and Shizuru watch me expectantly.

When I ignore them, Kurama says, "Anna?"

"Go away."

"What's wrong?" I refuse to look at him. I won't do it.

"I hate you right now."

"What?" I finally look up at him. He looks confused. "Don't you know what day it is?"

"Yes. I'm perfectly aware what day it is. Now go away and leave me alone."

Shizuru shakes her head, and Kurama sighs. They both stand up to leave. As Shizuru leaves, Kurama sets something on the table. I don't look at it, I just glare at my food. He leaves it there and walks out of the room. At the door, he says, "Happy birthday, Anna."

Once he's gone, I glance up to see what he put on the table. There is a small package. Laying next to it is a single rose.

**Kurama POV**

I wait for her to return to her room. When she does, I leave my room and go to the kitchen. Best clean up the decorations. This definitely didn't go as planned. I sigh and use a thorn to pop each of the balloons. Then I turn to pull the streamers off the table, and I stop short.

The rose is gone. The present is still there, but she took the rose. Why am I smiling? She rejected my gift and my attempts to celebrate her birthday. But she took the rose.

I finish cleaning up and leave the gift on the table. She took the rose. She'll come back for the present when she's ready to let me get a little bit closer. Or when her curiosity gets the best of her.

**Anna POV**

I turn the deep red flower over and over in my hands. I put it up to my nose and inhale. It smells like him. Or rather, he smells like it. Actually, I don't really care. All that's important is that the rose smells good.

I breathe in again and…I am so happy to be back. Those first few days were really awkward because I felt so bad and he didn't blame me for it at all. And now this. I feel bad I got mad at them, but I don't like celebrating my birthday. I may not have all those issues anymore—okay, may issues my have been reduced, but I still don't like the idea of age. I'm in love with Kurama, for god's sake. He's twelve hundred. I think that goes past the point where age even matters.

Why did he even remember my birthday?

And the present? What's with that? All I do is hurt him. If he was sane at all, there would be poison snails or something like that in the box. But I know that's not what's in it. He's too sweet for that. Which is one reason I love him. He loves me, even though I don't deserve it.

Suddenly, I don't know how or why, I am walking down the hall back towards the kitchen.

No one is there, which is unusual, but all the decorations are gone. The present is still lying on the table wrapped in paper the color of his eyes. I pick it up and carry it back to my room.

I sit down on my bed and stare at it. I turn it over in my hands. Why would he get me something? After all I've done to him, he should hate me.

I slide my finger under the paper and open it. I pull the paper off the box, careful not to tear it. I fold it up and set it aside.

Then I look at the box. It's small and white. I open it. Inside is a necklace. At the center is a small rectangle of…what is that? Rock? No…not exactly…it's…petrified wood? My name is carved into it. On either side of that is a square, glass bead with the image of a tree in it.

There is a note. I suddenly realize I've never seen his handwriting before. It's small, neat, somehow characteristic of him. It says, _So you can carry the forest with you. Happy birthday. With love, Kurama_.

Why do I feel like I'm going to cry? I'm not a crier. I mean, I cry when I'm angry or when someone dies. But I am not a Kodak moments person. I don't cry when I feel so incredibly…loved.

Then again, it's been a long time since I gave anyone the chance to love me. And I've never felt loved like I do right now. With my hands shaking, I put it on.

Then I stand and search for a pen.

Kurama POV

I hear her steal out of her room for a second time in less than fifteen minutes. But she's back within a minute of leaving. What on earth is she doing?

I get up and slowly go to the kitchen to see what she's been up to. There is no gift on the table. My heart starts beating faster. She picked it up. That's a good sign, right?

On the table in its place is a slip of paper. I pick it up. There are two words on it, I'm assuming from Anna. _Thank you_. This causes both joy and a pain in my chest. I'm so happy that my heart feels as though it is going to burst.

* * *

Finally! Anyway, update today in an effort to make up for a week and a half w/o updates! Yay! Y'all know who I own and on to reviews.

Insanity4Apples: Well, I know I never said it, but he's eating now. And I'd forgotten that I had Anna call him sweet in this chapter. Coincidence? I think not. I think it is merely evidence of an irrefutable truth.

SolitaryNyght: Good thing you don't have to wait. :) I really do love you guys, even if I sometimes leave you hanging for forever.

wolvesrain: Sorry, no Christmas oneshot. That is for no other reason than the fact that Christmas is a VERY important part of the storyline (it's also cute/sweet, almost to the point of making me want to gag). In theory, I will have up to Christmas posted by Christmas so that I can post Christmas on Christmas (was that even possible to follow?), but I'm not sure that's going to happen. I guess it depends on how much studying I actually do for finals :P

Sarcastic Nightmare: Of course her feelings aren't hormonal! Only Anna would be ridiculous enough to think that... and only Kurama is dense enough not to realize what's going on. Whatever. I'll just let them do whatever they want. My life is easier that way.


	48. Forty Seven

**And Tell Me We Belong Together**

_The next day…_

**Kurama POV**

Anna has spent most of today in her room. What is she up to? I know she's not avoiding me because she was perfectly okay sitting next to me at breakfast. Maybe even happy. Seeing her back here now, I actually feel really stupid. How could I have believed she wasn't coming back? Especially when Shizuru kept insisting she would be back.

I don't know. Perhaps I was too caught up in my emotions. I missed Anna so much, I couldn't think things through properly. Yeah, Kurama, keep telling yourself that. Anna's back, and I still can't think things through properly. Well, at least that's behind me. No need to dwell on it.

But what is she doing now? And why can't I ever predict what she'll do next?

There is a loud knock on my door. "Come in," I say.

My heart falls when it's Shizuru rather than Anna. I should have known it wasn't her, though, as I haven't heard her leave her room. "Hey," she says, "We're leaving in ten minutes to go into town. We're going to grab the others and go to dinner or something. You coming?"

We? Who is we? Shizuru and Yukina? Or Shizuru, Yukina and Anna? "Sure," I say. As she turns to leave, I say, "Shizuru?" When she turns to look back at me, I ask, "Whose idea was this? Botan's again?"

"Actually, no," she says slowly. "This time the idea was…Anna's."

She leaves, and I am left wondering how much Anna's trip to the States changed her. A lot, obviously. And she is happier. How could five weeks possibly make such a difference? And does this change mean it will be easier or harder to get her to fall in love with me?

Suddenly, Shizuru opens my door again. "If you don't ask her out on a date by the end of tonight," she threatens, "I will ask her out for you."

Before I can object, the door snaps shut. It figures. Shizuru would be the one to give me an ultimatum such as that. But actually dating…something about that seems odd to me. There is nothing normal about our relationship, and there is very little that's normal about us as individuals. To try and put our relationship into such a conventional box…can that even be done? I haven't thought about it before…

But why ask when I know what her answer will be? But Shizuru has been right about everything going on between me and Anna so far. I think…I think it's probably a safe bet she might be right about this too.

I walk out of my room, and Anna is leaned against the wall, waiting for me. She looks at me a moment, then, "Took you long enough."

Shizuru calls from somewhere near the front door, "Are you two coming or not?"

I gesture that Anna should go first, and she gives me a look that says she is wondering what I am thinking. As I follow her, I glance over what she's wearing. A black turtleneck, jeans, Converse. No necklace… Her hair is up. She must have gotten it cut while she was away because it's several inches shorter, and the ends are much more even.

We get to the car, and Shizuru says, "Yukina already called shotgun. Get in."

"No I didn't," Yukina says in confusion.

"Then I'm calling it for you."

Her effort to make me and Anna sit next to each other is so obvious it's almost comical. I don't have any objections, but how will Anna react?

She doesn't say anything. She just opens the door, slides into the car and fastens her seatbelt. I get in and slide into the middle seat. She narrows her eyes. "You're unbelievable."

"I just do it to annoy you."

"Yeah," she mutters. "I know."

"You do things like that to me sometimes," I reply.

"So? You doing something to annoy me is different."

"_How_?"

"I'm the one being annoyed." I can't help but snort at that. The logic is so…well, it can't even be defined as logic. She glares at me a moment before smiling herself, her hand traveling up to touch her neck.

When we get to the restaurant, Kuwabara, Keiko, Yusuke, Botan and Atsuko have made the size of our party swell, and Yusuke found Hiei and dragged him along. Just waiting for a table reminds me why we rarely go out in public as a group.

We haven't been waiting two minutes when there is a sudden whirl of fists, and we all turn to see Yusuke holding Kuwabara in a headlock. Of course, Shizuru and Keiko's intervention is probably more violent than the initial scuffle.

Anna just sits there, watching it with those deep brown eyes. I can only imagine what she is thinking.

**Anna POV**

Finally. It took them long enough to get us a table. As soon as we sit down, everyone starts laughing and joking again. Kurama is sitting next to me. I just watch the others after everyone orders.

"Anna," he suddenly whispers. "You're so much more relaxed since you got back. You aren't as…guarded. You seem happier." He doesn't say it, but I can tell that makes him happy.

I look at him. After several seconds, he begins to look almost nervous, as though he thinks he won't like what I have to say. So I tell him, "I am happier. I let go of some of the pain, and I'm working on getting rid of the rest of it. And I realized while I was away that having friends is worth the risk of getting hurt." I frown. All of that is true. But…I am having such a hard time actually becoming a part of this group. It's not because they don't want me here. And no one has ever accused me of being shy. "But…I'm still afraid of getting hurt."

He looks awkward, as though he feels he should say something but doesn't know what to say. Thankfully, our food arrives, and the conversation dies.

We don't speak to each other for quite a while. Eventually, I find myself watching him. I can't see his eyes because his red hair is falling past his face, hiding them. As though he feels my eyes on him, he looks up. And suddenly he starts talking. By the time he's finished, everyone is listening. "Anna, would you go out with me? On a date, I mean, just the two of us. Not like this. We could go wherever you want. Please?"

I hear Yusuke and Kuwabara snickering, but Kurama ignores them. I turn back to my food, so I don't have to meet his sincere, green eyes any longer. "You're blabbering like an idiot, Kurama. Or a boy who's never asked a girl out before." Of course, that's not really an answer. And Shizuru's threat…how did she know this was coming?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him go pink. Then he mutters, "Shizuru made me do it."

I look up at Shizuru. "Really, Shizuru?" I ask. "Really?" She is unbelievable. I admit she has good reason to do it, since she is the only one who really knows all of what's going on. But that she would do this…

"I have no idea what he's talking about," Shizuru says with mock innocence.

I snort and face Kurama. "I guess I have to say yes, since Shizuru threatened me if I don't."

Confusion and then…hurt crosses his face. "Never mind," he says quickly. No… I want this, Kurama. He continues, "If you don't want—"

I cut him off, my hand traveling to the necklace that is hidden beneath my shirt. "Just shut up, Kurama." I can't help but smile a little bit at him. "I would have said yes even if Shizuru hadn't told me to."

After a long silence where he just stares at me in what can only be called confusion, Shizuru says, "Stop gaping, and look happy, Kurama."

He nods but continues to stare at me. I turn away and try to ignore him, but I can feel his eyes on me and my neck and face start to get hot.

**Kurama POV**

As I watch Anna finish her dinner, somewhere around us, someone, Yusuke I think, says, "Why on earth is he so surprised?" I look away from Anna to see everyone else shaking their heads in bewilderment.

Am I the only one who didn't see Anna's response coming? You know what? I really don't care. She wants to go out with me. But when did that change come about? How could five weeks halfway around the world have changed her opinion of me like that?

* * *

Ah...what a glorious chapter. I really do love this chapter. You guys know I only own Anna. On to the reviews.

Foxgirl Ray: No worries; I've written the chapter about his past (and hers!) and it's coming. Sometime. And she already has a rough understanding of his past from what he's said and just from listening to everyone else.

SolitaryNyght: Anna finally opening up...ah at last.

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Yeah...actually, I'm pretty sure they're BOTH blind.

Angel of Randomosity: Hahahaha. Anna probably would kill you if you if you hugged her. I think next chapter (or maybe the chapter after) is when things start getting REALLY interesting. Hahahaha. I just got to your other review. Yeah, Shizuru is currently going out of her way to try and get them together (wonderfully demonstrated in this chapter), and her actions in relation to Anna and Kurama only get better.

wolvesrain17: I'll do my best. Maybe I'll post two chapters today to try and get all caught up... :)

Kajihenge Yoko: YAY! New reviewer! No problems with the Kurama being out of character. I'm aware of that. More and more lately I'm struggling with keeping them in character (possibly due to the fact that I have a story where I own all the characters, so I just do whatever I want). Of course, now I just feel like I'm making excuses. At any rate, apologies that he isn't in character, thanks for your praise for how Anna has been written (OCs...whether Anna should be a virgin or not...I struggled with that...then I decided there really wasn't anything else for it). Thanks for the review and thanks for sticking with the story even though you feel like Kurama is out of character. As a warning, it probably won't get any better (now that Anna's back, it won't get any worse like while she was gone, but still). I think that's everything. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :) Just got to your review about flight attendents: I totally agree. That is what I wanted. Anna is really not a very nice person at the beginning of the story... Amazing how people change.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Next chapter is even cuter. (I think...)

animegrlsteph: I love how, at the end of this chapter, Kurama isn't happy. No, he's far to shocked to be happy *face-palm*


	49. Forty Eight

**Dress It Up With the Trappings of Love**

_Three days later…_

**Kurama POV**

Oh. Why am I so nervous? It's just Anna. But that's the issue. It's Anna.

And I've never been on a date before. Before Anna, there was never anyone I wanted to take on a date. As Shuichi, there have been girls who showed interest in me, but none of them ever drew my attention. And I'm still shocked she agreed to this.

How do humans do this? I have much more life experience than any of them, yet somehow that isn't helping me here. My palms are sweaty. Why on earth is this so nerve-wracking? All we're going to do is have dinner. I've eaten plenty of meals with Anna before. Why is this time any different?

I know the answer to that. It's because we'll be alone.

What is taking her so long? I feel like I've been waiting for her forever. It's not like we're going somewhere fancy where we need to dress up. It shouldn't take her this long to get ready.

I begin pacing back and forth. Where is she?

**Anna POV**

Do I want to? Yes. No. Both. I want to wear it. But, if I'm being honest with myself, I don't want him to know I'm wearing it. I sigh and fasten it around my neck. I pull on my boots. Then I take the necklace off again and set it on the bedside table, my name facing up. I pull on my jacket. Then my hands, moving of their on volition, pick the gift back up and put it around my neck. I guess I'm wearing it then.

I walk out to find him pacing. What is up with him? I have butterflies, sure, but I didn't think _he'd_ be this…nervous. There's no other word for it. He doesn't notice me enter the room. He's just wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a light jacket, but I get the feeling that he put more thought into it than he normally would have. After a minute, I say, "Why so nervous, Kurama?"

He looks up in surprise. "Anna," he says. "I didn't…hear you…coming…" He trails off when his eyes lock onto his necklace. I expected him to look happy, but he doesn't. He just looks confused.

"Something wrong?" I ask him.

"You're wearing the necklace," he says quietly. "I didn't think you would…"

"Why wouldn't I wear it? You got it for me to wear, didn't you?" Now I'm the one who's confused. I told him thank you. When did I ever give any sign that I didn't want to wear it? I didn't, did I?

"Yes, but the necklace was from me. I didn't think you'd want to wear it, since you don't like me all that much." He looks sad.

And they think he's the smart one? If that's true, I don't want to know how stupid the rest of them really are. "Kurama," I ask, unsuccessfully trying not to grimace at his stupidity, "If I didn't like you a decent amount, would I be going to dinner with you?"

"But…" But what? He seems to come to the same conclusion because he suddenly smiles. "You look beautiful Anna."

I look at him. What's he talking about? "I don't look any different than normal. I mean, I'm wearing shoes but other than that…" I'm wearing a t-shirt, a jacket and jeans. What's the big deal?

"Exactly," he says, offering me his hand. "You don't look any different than normal."

**Kurama POV**

When I say that, she turns pink. Which somehow manages to make her more beautiful.

But she is beautiful, dressed as she is. More beautiful than if she got dressed up, I think. Because this is Anna. She isn't pretending to be something she's not. This is the Anna you see, this is the Anna you get.

Her jeans, cowboy boots, t-shirt and hooded jacket are all somehow more flattering than a little black dress and high heels would be.

Finally she reaches up slowly and takes the hand I'm still holding out to her. Wait, she took my hand? But Anna never lets me touch her in any way. At least not when she's sober and emotionally composed.

But then she says, "Kurama, if you don't stop acting all confused and surprised, you won't be able to enjoy this…date." Why the hesitation? Does she find going on a date with me as weird as I find going on a date with her? Suddenly she walks forward, towards the door, dragging me with her. "Come on, Kurama. If you don't come with me, I'll just have to leave you here."

"But you can't drive," I object without thinking.

She looks at me and shakes her head. "I ran away when I was seventeen, Kurama. I had my license. I know how to drive. And as for any legalities, how much stock to I place in rules?"

I grin. "Not much. I'm driving."

_An hour later…_

It's busier than I thought it would be. We should have left earlier. I turn to Anna, "Do you want to wait or go somewhere else?"

She sits down on a bench outside and tells me, "I'm in no hurry."

I smile. "Okay."

I sit down next to her, and she looks at me. Her brown eyes feel as thought they are looking right through me. How can a human girl have such an effect on me? How can any woman have such an effect on me? I always thought I was above that. Evidently not. And I still can't figure her out. I think Anna is an enigma I will never solve. A puzzle whose pieces keep changing shape. After a moment, she says, "You want to know something, Kurama?"

"Sure."

"When I went back to Alabama…seeing Jake again…" She is talking about this voluntarily? What's going on here? "You have no idea how hard it was for me to leave him, Kurama."

She misses her brother. And now she's avoiding my eyes. Her hands are curled around the edge of the bench, and she is staring down at her feet. "So why'd you leave him? If he's that important to you, why did you come back?" I ask. I'm happy she came back. But if she's not happy…I almost want her to go back to the US if she isn't going to be happy here.

She looks up at me and holds my gaze for nearly a minute. I want to look away, but I can't. Her eyes are drawing mine. Finally she looks down again. Then, so quietly I can hardly hear her, she says, "As much as I miss him now…I missed you more then."

"You missed me more than you miss Jake?" I ask. She nods. "Why?" What could this possibly mean?

She hesitates before giving me an answer. "I don't want to tell you. I'll tell you sometime, if it turns out to be true. But right now…I've been hurt enough times to know that some feelings pass, and others aren't real to begin with. I don't want to say something like that and end up hurting you. Or me." She adds herself as an afterthought. What thing could she be talking about? My love for her won't die. Can't she see that?

**Anna POV**

I miss Jake but…Would someone cancel her engagement because she wanted to continue staying at her brother's house? No. And that's what I'm doing. I'm leaving my brother's house to be with the man I love. It's not entirely my fault the two places are half a world apart. But I can't give him that engagement comparison. It implies too much. And I still don't know what my feelings for him really are. Are they here to stay, or are they merely transient emotions induced by an instinctive, hormonal desire for a physical relationship?

God. Am I trying to talk myself out of loving him? Yes. Why, I have no idea. But now more than ever I am seeing it's a lost cause. I am trying to use something that's almost science to explain away my feelings for him. And science was always my worst subject.

After nearly a minute, he says, "We're getting quite serious for a first date with that topic, aren't we?" He's giving me a way out. He knows I'm uncomfortable, so he's providing me with a way to get away from the subject. So many reasons to love him. So few not to love him.

And before I can stop them, the words have slipped out. "This isn't the first."

"What?" His face and eyes are confused.

"You took me out for ice cream, just the two of us. I took you to my river, with no one else. To me, those count as dates, even though they were spur of the moment." I mumble it all, hoping he'll miss the fact that this view of things means I've liked him for far longer than I want to admit.

"You liked me before you left?" he asks. Of course he had to notice. And no. I didn't like you before I left, Kurama. _Liked_ is too much of an understatement to be considered true. "Am I right, Anna?"

I am spared answering by the host announcing our table is ready.

* * *

Well... yes, there are no reviews, since I posted the last chapter about four minutes ago... so... anyway, I only own Anna, and the next chapter is one of my very favorites! (I'll try to get it posted tomorrow.)


	50. Forty Nine

**I'll Be Captivated, I'll Hang From Your Lips**

**Kurama POV**

We finish eating, and I pay. She hasn't said much since we were seated, but that's okay. Being here with her is enough. We stand, and I ask, "Back to the temple?" I don't want to go back. I don't want tonight to end. I don't know if she'll ever go out with me again.

She hesitates. "Is there a park close by?"

"A park? But it's dark out."

"So?" Her question is so sincere, I am forced to think it over for a moment. What is there to stop us from going to the park at night? Human conventions. I'm not human. Anna doesn't care what people think. Then there's safety, but I won't let anything happen to her.

"Yeah," I say smiling. "There's one a few blocks away."

She grabs my hand and pulls me towards the door. "Let's go."

It takes us less than five minutes to get to the park. I park the car, and Anna hops out. She doesn't wait for me but walks alone to the swings. I follow at a distance. She sits down, eyes closed and sways back and forth on the swing. "I miss being a little kid, Kurama," she murmurs when I catch up.

She said something like that before. How old was she when her childhood was effectively ended? She was fourteen when her dad was killed, I think…her mom left a couple of years before that. She deserved more time to grow up than she got.

Her arms are wrapped around the chains, her eyes still closed. I walk over behind her, grab hold of the bottom of the chains and take several steps back, dragging her and the swing with me. Then I let the swing fall forward, and I give her a push for good measure.

She laughs. The sound is clear. Not loud but easy to hear in the deserted park. After a few more trips back and forth, she jumps off, landing easily on her feet. Then she turns to me, smiling.

Oh. If I thought I wanted to kiss her before…that's nothing compared to how much I want to kiss those lips right now, while they are still curved upward. She walks toward me, stopping closer than I would have predicted. She has to tilt her head up, and I have to look down, so we can meet each other's eyes. Is she trying to make it harder for me not to kiss her?

She smiles up at me. "Can you imagine how we look, a nineteen year old pushing a twenty year old on a swing?"

"Now imagine how we'd appear to others if I looked my age."

She bites her lip to keep from laughing. "Or if you were in your real body." That too.

She takes a small step towards me, placing her palms on my chest. She has me so confused right now…I put my hands on her waist. "Thanks for coming out with me tonight, Anna." How I want to kiss her…

"Thanks for bringing me. It's been nice."

She looks almost innocent, the way she's staring up at me. I still can't read her eyes, but I feel like she's trying to tell me something. And she's letting me hold her. How would she react if I kissed her? She's letting me hold her. Only one way to find out.

I lean forward slowly, giving her time to move away.

**Anna POV**

He presses his lips to mine, more gently than I could have imagined. This kiss isn't like any of the times Connor kissed me. This isn't even like the time Kurama kissed me when we were both drunk. This is better. Much better. I kiss him back, slowly, not with the physical need I felt last time…

Is this the difference between love and lust?

I gasp and pull back. He looks hurt and apologetic. "Sorry, Anna. I don't know what—"

"No," I whisper shaking my head to deny his apology. "I was just caught off guard. I realized the difference between love and lust."

"You still thought it was lust?" he asks. "You're just now realizing that I am really, truly in love with you?"

No. I knew that. I'm just now realizing how real _my_ feelings are. They'll never go away. As long as Kurama is here, they will remain. I see that now. "Anna?" he asks. But I don't know how to tell him that.

"Shhh…" I whisper. Then I push myself up off my heels and kiss him. After a half-second's surprise, he kisses me back.

A couple seconds later, we pull away from each other. "We should go back."

"Okay." Then he takes my hand, and we walk towards the car. Even in the dark I can see how happy he is. But can he tell the reason I am so happy is mostly based in his joy?

_An hour later…_

**Kurama POV**

We walk inside, and Shizuru appears almost instantaneously. "Back already?" she asks. "How'd it go?"

"It was nice," I say, thinking of…Anna didn't object when I kissed her. She kissed back. And then _she_ kissed _me_.

"That is an understatement, if ever I heard one," Shizuru notes. "What happened?"

Anna looks at me, a mischievous grin appearing on her face. What's she up to? Slowly she says, never looking away from me, "I don't kiss and tell, Shizuru."

She told? What? Why do I feel so hot all of a sudden? Shizuru's eyes go wide. "_Really_?" she asks.

"I just said," Anna says, still watching me, "I am not going to tell you."

Shizuru smiles. Why doesn't she look surprised? "Kurama, your cheeks are all the answer I need; I want you to know they're the color of a fire engine."

Anna can't help but giggle. I glance away from Shizuru to look at her, and it no longer matters that she told Shizuru. She kissed me. Nothing else matters.

Actually, it does matter that she told Shizuru. It means she doesn't care if other people know.

* * *

I LOVE this chapter. Love it. Anyway, if I post a chapter almost every day (I think I can miss two days...), I can get to Christmas by Christmas so that I can post Christmas on Christmas. Fun, right? I only own Anna. Now for reviews.

Starmaid15: Tell me about it. I have Kiyoshi and Ella (except Ella is generally off in lala land thinking about who knows what) and now Anna. Then there's a bunch of characters from the story I'm writing just for me that haunt me... but the biggest problem is Kiyoshi. Stupid kid. Kiyoshi: HEY! Me: How was this chapter for sweet?

wolvesrain17: how'd you like this chapter? I think that's really all I can say to your review, since the last two chapters were all building up to this.

Angel of Randomosity: Thanks for the very enthusiastic review. Although half of it just confused me. That's okay, I'm easily confused. Moving on... Hope this wasn't too long a wait. ;)

Sarcastic Nightmare: No problem, it's just good to see reviews. :) (In all honesty, I should probably be studying right now too, but I really don't feel like it. Remind me to blame FanFiction when I fail all my classes.)


	51. Fifty

**Instead of the Gallows of Heartache That Hang From Above**

_Three and a half weeks later…_

**Kurama POV**

I hear her get up and start moving around her room. I jump out of my bed and meet her at her door. "Good morning," I whisper as she rubs her eyes. She smiles sleepily, and I lean down to give her a quick kiss.

She smiles and glances at me. "How long have you been awake?" she asks. "You're already dressed."

"About half an hour," I tell her.

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No." I take her hand and give it a slight squeeze. "I was waiting for you. Are you hungry?"

"A little bit."

We walk out to the kitchen, and I tell her, "Sit down. What do you want to eat?"

She makes a face. I don't know what it's supposed to mean. It's almost unhappy but somehow not. But it's gone less than a second later. She sits down and says, "I don't care. Whatever you want is fine."

I nod. After I finish making it, I set two plates on the table and pull my chair up close to hers. She eats quickly, then leans against me, her head on my shoulder.

It's nice, being here with her. As much as I love her, there was some part of me that believed she would never feel anything for me. But she does. I'm not sure how strong her feelings are, but I can wait. She likes me now, as more than a friend. That was more than I had dared to hope. If I give it enough time, perhaps one day she'll love me. I twist my head around and kiss the top of her head. "I love you, Anna."

"I know," she murmurs.

But how long will it take her to fall in love with me?

_That evening…_

Anna is sitting next to me on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her. My arm is around her, and she leans up against me as we watch the others get slowly louder as they get more and more drunk.

We keep to ourselves except when someone comes over to talk to us. As usual, Anna seems content to keep her distance and watch the antics of the others from the sidelines.

Suddenly, Link pops up behind us. "Hey guys!"

"Hey, Link," I say. "Anna, this is Link."

"I know. I may not join in, but I do pay attention. I know everyone's name." She smiles at Link. "It's been a while since you were last here."

"Yep!" he says cheerfully. "I was off doing things in the demon plane. You know how Enki has all the tournament losers do jobs for him now and then."

"Yeah," she says. She understands what he's talking about? How much does she know about the demon plane and its politics? And where and when did she learn it?

"Well," Link continues, ignoring or not noticing my confusion, "It was my turn to patrol the border, you know, make sure humans don't accidentally cross over into the demon realm." He frowns in mock confusion, but the frown is almost immediately replaced with a devilish smile. "And it looks as though while I was gone, Kurama fell into the same trap as Chu and I did at the tournament."

"Nope," I say. "I fell into it about eight months ago."

Link starts laughing at me, and Anna asks, "What trap is that?"

Link manages to control himself, but he doesn't reply. Then Hiei, from a few feet away, answers, "The trap you women set to ensnare unsuspecting morons like Kurama, Link and Chu."

It's an insult, but all Anna does is raise her eyebrows and ask, "Like how Kuwabara fell for Yukina?"

Hiei's face hardens. I bite my lip to keep from laughing. Trust Anna to remind Hiei that his sister is one of the girls who has a guy wrapped around her little finger.

After a silence, I pull Anna closer to me. Seeing this, Hiei mutters, "You two are disgusting. I don't know about the rest of them, but I personally do not want to see you cuddling and kissing when you think no one's looking. Keep it to yourselves."

"We're not making you watch, Hiei," I point out, leaning in to kiss Anna's cheek. He makes a face of disgust before getting up and leaving the room.

Anna sighs, but it sounds happy. She nestles in closer to me and says, "Typical Hiei. It looks as though us dating hasn't wrought some dramatic change on the universe."

But it has. Everything is better when Anna is here. The world feels right. I feel at peace, somehow, a feeling I don't remember having all that often. "My universe changed, Anna."

I catch a glimpse of a smile before she says, "That is so incredibly cheesy."

"I don't care. I love you."

"Will you ever get tired of saying that?"

"No." I kiss her hair. "Never."

"Good."

* * *

Well...there's chapter one of them being so cute it's almost disgusting...moving on to reviews... Oh! And I apologize that this chapter is so short.

Insanity4Apples: Yes, chapter 49 is one of my favorites. :D

SolitaryNyght: Hope you liked this chapter. I'm not particularly fond of it, but it's necessary for the next chapter (or two).

Sarcastic Nightmare: Hope you liked this chapter as much as the last few. Good job with your final!


	52. Fifty One

**And I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder, I'll Be Love's Suicide**

_Later…_

**Kurama POV**

She sits up, and I let my arm fall. "I'm thirsty," she says.

I move to get up, but she catches my arm. "I can get myself a drink, Kurama."

"But I want to get it for you," I object. "It's no problem."

"Obviously it is a problem," she says, standing and facing me. "Since we started dating, you've been doing everything for me."

She doesn't want me to do things for her? But I _want_ to do little things for her like grabbing her a drink. I stand. "Why not? What's wrong with me helping you out?"

"Helping me?" she asks. "_Helping me_? I don't _need_ help, Kurama. I can take care of myself."

I know she can take care of herself. She proven that many times. "I know. But just because you can doesn't mean you have to." Calm yourself, Kurama. "You don't need to be so completely independent anymore. I'll always be here."

She shakes her head and snaps at me, "That's different. You won't let me do anything for myself, Kurama." Oh no. Her volume is starting to creep upward. The last time she shouted at me like this was on the plane. "At first it was sweet, but pretty soon it just got to be annoying."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I ask loudly. Calm, Kurama. Anna is already shouting. I don't need to start shouting too. "I'm supposed to take care of you."

"Is that what this is about?" Is that what what's about? She got angry first. She goes on, "This is about your…your virility? You're the guy, so you need to take care of me or you aren't a real man? Like it's you fricking _job_ to do that?"

What? No. That's not it. She turns to walk away. I grab her hand. "Anna, I—" I begin. But before I can finish, she has swung her other arm back and slapped me full across the face. I stumble backward, my face stinging. I'd forgotten how much force she can put behind those. She hasn't felt the need to slap me recently.

She looks at me a moment. Then she threatens, "Don't. Touch. Me. Kurama."

Then she turns and stalks out of the room towards the kitchen. Is she really that mad? Damn it, Kurama. "But why didn't she tell me it bothered her _before_ she got angry?" I groan as I fall back onto the couch.

Yusuke looks at me and says, "She probably thinks she did. Keiko's gotten mad at me for things like that. I guess they try to tell us what they want without actually saying anything. I still haven't figured it out."

"Women are impossible," I mutter, pressing my hand to my face, which is tingling.

"Tell me about it."

But maybe Yusuke's right. Maybe she did give me hints. This morning…the face she made when I told her I'd get her breakfast. Is that what he's talking about? How her _thank you_s stopped being so frequent and started sounding less sincere? The hesitation before accepting things from me and the loss of expression during that hesitation?

How am I supposed to read that, much less come to the conclusion that it's because I'm irritating her with my helpfulness? "This is so screwed up," I mutter. "How is anyone supposed to understand signs as subtle as that?"

"I feel your pain, Kurama," Yusuke tells me, taking a drink.

"A woman would have noticed them," Keiko mutters. How much attention did we attract? Could everyone hear us? Probably. Great. Everyone knows we're fighting.

Fighting. Such a thing hadn't occurred to me. Perhaps it was stupid to expect no problems. It's just…our relationship is to weird to begin with. But now…depending on exactly how mad she is…what if our relationship no longer exists?

No. What can I do to fix this? I groan and place my face in my hands.

"Just wait till she cools off."

"What?" I ask.

"Wait till she cools off," Shizuru repeats. "Then try and talk things through. It's not up to you to fix it, Kurama. Anna will have to work with you."

Yes. She's right. Just let Anna calm down. But… "How'd you know what I was thinking?"

She gives me a look that says quite clearly she thinks I already know the answer. When I don't say anything, she grimaces. "Kurama," she begins, "You are unnaturally good at reading people, but it's a conscious process."

"So?" What's she getting at?

She sighs. "Women are more naturally inclined to such analysis, Kurama. Many of us don't really realize we're doing it. But you have to try to complete that process, although that's much more than many men can achieve."

"So why is Anna mad at me? Just because I can't instinctively read her body language?"

She stares at me a moment, thinking over her answer as she smokes a cigarette. Finally, "I'll be the first to admit that many of us take this…woman's intuition for granted. And we get mad at you guys because you _don't_ have that, like it's something you can control."

"So she's mad at him for not being a girl?" Yusuke asks.

Shizuru pauses before saying, "At the most basic level, yes."

Okay. This has stopped making any kind of sense. I suppose that's to be expected. Anna is often anything but logical.

Of course, that probably means I'm even more illogical than she is, since I'm the one who fell in love with her.

**Anna POV**

Ugh. I grab a beer. Maybe I shouldn't have slapped him. That might have been taking it a little far. But it was the first thing I thought of. And in the last couple of days, I've started to feel suffocated.

It was really sweet at first. It was nice to feel so taken care of, something I haven't had for a long time. But then it just got annoying. He wouldn't let me get my own food. He insisted on opening doors for me. Maybe my reactions was a little out of proportion to the situation…

But it's like he's convinced I need to be taken care of. I don't. I want him to be there with me. Take care of me when I'm sick; I'll take care of him when he's sick. That kind of thing. But that doesn't mean he has to do every single little thing for me.

Unfortunately, I can feel my anger at him fading. I _want_ to be mad at him. But I love him to much to hold onto that anger.

I sigh and take a drink. This whole relationship thing…it's far more complicated than I remember.

* * *

Urgh. 'Tis depressing. Anna, Anna, Anna. Whatever will I do with you?

Angel of Randomosity: Thank you! :) :) :)

Takara Rose Oizumi: Thanks so much! And...NEW REVIEWER! (I think...at least, I don't remember your name...I think I'll shut up now.)

Aya Ayame: Uhhh...gracias. si. no hablo francais. lo siento. merci, is it? aqui esta tu capitulo.

Sarcastic Nightmare: I love that line too! Yeah, her name's Mukuro. I don't care for that pairing either. I understand where the possibility comes from (he gave her her slave master in a regenerating plant so she could torture him...great birthday present, no?), but I don't care for it all the same. They hardly seem to tolerate each other...

wolvesrain17: I absolutely love the little conversation with Hiei. Makes me laugh every time I think about it.

animegrlsteph: Just wait. Shizuru gets even more ridiculous. (Mind you, she is finally fed up with their 'relationship issues.')


	53. Fifty Two

**I'll Be Better When I'm Older**

_Two days later…_

**Kurama POV**

I sigh and sit down next to Shizuru. "She still mad at you?"

"Yeah," I mutter. I look up at her. "How long is this going to last? I don't know what to do. I hardly understand what I did. I feel like she's being irrational."

"That's because she _is_ being irrational. But she'll come around soon, Kurama. Today, probably. She was struggling to hold onto her anger yesterday, and I think the only reason she managed it is because she left every time you walked in the room." She takes a drink of her tea and makes a face. At Anna's actions or the tea, I'm not sure.

"Why does she want to be mad at me?" What good could possibly come from our being angry at each other?

"Honestly?" Shizuru asks. "I have no clue what Anna's reasons are for half the things she does. I cannot figure that girl out. But my best guess would be she's still afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid your relationship won't work. Afraid she's going to get hurt." Before I can object, Shizuru adds, "Afraid she's going to hurt you."

"Why would she be afraid of that?" I blurt out.

"You are so _blind_, Kurama. She loves you, Kurama. I'm not sure why you can't see that, and I'm even less sure why she won't just come out and tell you. But she does love you."

I'm about to answer when Anna's voice says from the door, "Shizuru? I'd like a word alone with Kurama." I look at Anna. She's wearing a tank top and jeans. She's barefoot as usual. Why on earth would I do anything to risk losing her? But I didn't, at least not on purpose.

"Finally," Shizuru mutters in response to Anna's request. She stands, picks up her tea and leaves the room.

"Anna, I'm—" I begin, but she cuts me off.

"Shut up. I talk first." She is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"Okay…" Do I even want to know what she has to say? Based on her tone, probably not.

But suddenly she sighs and comes to sit down across from me. She thinks a moment, then says, "My dad always listened to weird music."

"Okay…" She wants to talk to me about her dad's music? She's been mad at me for two days, and this is what she wants to talk about? This is what's so important that she won't even let me apologize first?

She looks me in the eye and says, "He would quote them at me and Jake all the time. He insisted they contained life lessons with an eloquence and art he could never manage on his own. I always thought he was talking nonsense, but now I see he was right." She makes a face.

Huh? "Anna…I'm lost."

She sighs. "One of his favorite quotes…he'd go around the house singing it after my mom left, still convinced she was coming back…" She suddenly begins singing softly, in English, "_True love never did run smooth—And smooth love never did stay true—One day you'll find love and when you do—Remember true love never did run smooth_."

Love? True love? Does this mean what it sounds like? Does Anna…? Was Shizuru right? "What did you say?" I ask. Am I imagining this? No. No. I smile.

She give me a weak smile in return. "I mean…if what we have is real…we can't expect not to have problems. There's no such thing as a perfect couple. The true test of love is not if you can avoid arguments but if you can work past them."

She gets up and pushes her chair in. She can't leave yet. I haven't had a chance to apologize. Do her words mean she does love me already? But before I can find my voice, she pulls out another chair and scoots it in close to me. She places her hand on top of mine. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I shouldn't have gotten mad. I should've asked you to stop before I got angry. But mostly…I'm sorry I slapped you."

I turn my arm over on the table and slip my fingers through hers. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you were frustrated. How can we work through this?"

"Let me do things for myself," she answers. She holds my hand tighter. She's not mad anymore. Thank god. She's not mad. "Do little things occasionally, offer help. And if I think you're doing too much, I'll say something before I get mad."

"Fair enough," I say. "But if you're doing something I think might hurt you—hauling around one of Shizuru's fifty pound sacks of potatoes for example—I reserve the right to insist on helping you, whether you want me to or not."

She looks at me with a blank expression for a moment. Then she smiles. "Deal."

I lean forward and kiss her. She kisses me back. Oh, this is wonderful. I never understood why Yusuke is never upset when Keiko slaps him. I never really understood why he is so happy around her or Kuwabara around Yukina. But now…Anna is here, kissing me, and the rest of the world disappears.

**Anna POV**

I'm happy. My stupidity didn't ruin this. The only thing is… "You're an idiot," I say pulling away from him.

"Huh?"

"How could you possibly think this was your fault at all?"

"I—"

"Don't say it, Kurama," I warn. "Don't you dare tell me you should've known I didn't like it based on subtle body clues. It's ridiculous for anyone to expect that from anyone."

He closes his mouth. Good. I don't care if he still thinks it's his fault, so long as he doesn't believe it enough to say it out loud again.

"Kurama?"

"Yes?"

"Lean over this way a bit. I'm too short to reach you from here."

He smiles. It's so good to see him happy. "That," he whispers, "I will do, my lady."

I kiss him. "And quit being so corny."

"I'll try. But no promises."

* * *

Well, there's that chapter. Yay! the song quote is from 'true love (never did run smooth)' by tom wopat. I only own Anna and now for reviews. :)

AprilMae72: I'm really glad you liked the conversation w/ Hiei, and I find your...assessment about Hiei needing to get laid...interesting (but probably true). And I feel sorry for Kurama too.

wolvesrain17: yep. It's been scientifcally proven that women are more inclined to notice/correctly interpret body languages/facial expressions.

Insanity4Apples: Actually...I'm not sure he will. But if he doesn't it's not his fault. It's Anna who's so freaking unpredictable.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Well, here you have it. While having someone wait on her hand and foot annoyed Anna, how cute they are now is actually beginning to irritate me. oh well.

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Not sure Shizuru would make such a great counselor. She's really starting to get fed up with them...

animegrlsteph: Anna is mad at Kurama, Kurama is mad at himself and confused about Anna and _you_ of all people think it's funny? Did hell just freeze over?

Aya Ayama: yeah, I knew what you said (I have a VERY minimal amount of french-my mother responds to my spanish in french, but she remembers almost none of it). Wait, what else was I going to say? I'm not sure how i feel about their argument.


	54. Fifty Three

**I'll Be the Greatest Fan of Your Life**

_That night…_

**Anna POV**

How am I supposed to ask him? And do I want to know? He already told me he was a thief. How different is my Kurama from the old Kurama? Will he even be willing to tell me? "Kurama…could you tell me a little bit more about your life?" He looks startled, so I add, "I know what kind of person you are now. But our experiences help shape us. I want to know what made you the way you are today."

He smiles. "Two questions first." I nod, so he asks, "Is the type of person I am today a good type?"

Yes. Definitely. I smile. "For the most part. Question two?"

He hesitates. That hesitation can mean only one thing. Finally he asks, "When I have finished, will you tell me more about your past?"

No. Yes. I don't know. "Kurama," I say slowly. His face falls; my tone is making him think I'm not going to agree, I guess. "I trust you enough to tell you."

"But?" Yes. There's always a catch.

"But I don't know if I can talk about it. A lot of it is still painful." I sigh. "I think Jake is still the only person I'd feel comfortable really talking about my past with."

He looks slightly hurt. I wish I didn't feel that way. I really do. I want to tell Kurama. I just don't know if I'll be able to say it. But he seems to understand because he says, "Because Jake went through all of it with you."

"Yeah." There is a silence, so I say, "I will try to tell you, Kurama. I just don't know if I'll be able to."

He nods. "Well, I suppose that's fair enough. Especially since…parts of my past…I'm ashamed of much of it, Anna. I might have trouble telling you about it."

"Just try. And I'll try too."

"Okay." He sighs. He's so…sad. Almost worn. Is this his true age showing through to his human body? "I suppose…As you know, I'm a yô-ko, an enchanted fox. I made a life of breaking seals and codes and stealing the treasures hidden within. I killed people without a second thought. I have never once lost sleep over taking a life." He looks _so sad_. I suddenly release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Perhaps that's because all those I've killed recently were also trying to kill me. Any innocents, any women and children I killed were dead long before I developed a conscience…"

"Oh, Kurama," I say moving closer to him on the couch. "I didn't realize…" I don't think he really realized how much it bothers him.

**Kurama POV**

I continue, "Then there's the simple cruelty. For many years I found pleasure in…not other people's pain exactly. But I enjoyed the sense of power that came with causing pain. I had power over those people." I shake my head. Why? What could possibly have made such a thing seem acceptable or even logical? "And I haven't entirely moved past that. Recently…fighting in a tournament…admittedly, he was trying to kill me, and he was threatening Shiori…but I found myself saying something along the lines of _I enjoy facing lowlifes like you. It allows me to be as brutal as I want_."

"Kurama. Oh, Kurama," she says, squeezing my hand. Why isn't she afraid to be near me after what I've told her so far?

"I often worked with someone to carry out the raids…sometimes we couldn't work together any longer, so I would hire someone to…eliminate them. I still cannot bring myself to regret those betrayals. The only one I regret…you may have heard of a man named Yomi…"

"I thought he was still alive," she replies, obviously confused. How on earth did she find out about the politics of the demon plane? And who told her? And when? Urgh. It really doesn't matter right now.

"He is…I hired someone. He failed, and Yomi was blinded. I regret not hiring a stronger assassin." I shake my head. "And then the women…but I don't think you really want to hear about that." Please don't make me tell you, Anna. That is the one thing I cannot bring myself to talk about around her. I can't do it.

"No, not really. And Kurama…you're making it sound worse than it is. You regret it now. Please keep that in mind."

I look at her. She looks something between sad and worried. "I'll try," I promise. But…it is as bad as it sounds. Why wouldn't it be that bad? Just because I feel regret for my actions now…that does nothing to atone for the actions themselves.

She looks at me and says, "So what caused the one eighty?"

"Shiori." That one word…that one woman changed my life more than I could have imagined. How is it that the two people who have had the greatest impact on my life are human and women, both of which I always used to look down upon. "She taught me what it means to love."

Anna smiles. She squeezes my hand again and says, "I guess it's my turn. Just…Kurama, try to remember that the only person who knows the whole story is Jake. You're the first person I've tried to tell. I think I screamed a lot of it at Dr. Takei but…"

"Wait. No one ever called Dr. Takei to tell her you were back. Crap." I move to get up, but Anna stops me.

"I'm not stupid, Kurama. I went to see her before I came home. She was with a patient though, so I just had her secretary or whatever tell her that I'm fine, but I'm not planning on coming back." I breathe a sigh of relief. Okay, we didn't forget anything major. Well, Anna didn't, at least. Then she says, "Did you understand what I said, Kurama?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Okay…well…until I was twelve, my life was normal, other than being raised bilingually at home. Which isn't all that unusual in the US. But when I was twelve, my mom left. First, though, there was a lot of shouting, and a lot of things got smashed and broken." She suddenly starts glowering at the floor about six feet away from us. "My father never got over her, but she was married less than four months later, and now she has another kid."

"Anna, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything. And I'm done with her. If I never see her again, that's fine by me." There is a long silence. I think I know why. What comes next is one of the most painful parts for her. Her father's death. "I was only fourteen," she finally whispers. "It was an armed robbery. He tried to keep them out to protect me and Jake, but he didn't have a gun. There were two of them. Four bullets…one in the arm, the shoulder, the leg, the chest…there was blood everywhere." Her voice cracks, but she suddenly forces a wry smile onto her face, as though trying to find the irony in a situation that still causes pain. "The bullet to his chest somehow missed all vital organs…the ME never figured that one out…But the bullet to his leg hit the femoral artery…"

She sniffles, trying her hardest not to cry. I put my arm around her and draw her closer. "Shhh…" I say. "I'm here. You don't need to tell my anything else." I almost wish she wouldn't if it's going to cause her this kind of pain.

"No," she insists. "I _want_ to tell you." She wants to tell me? I might've guessed otherwise. "But after that Jake and I were stuck in foster care. The Carls…they were the ones we were with when Connor happened." She doesn't say anything else about Connor, for which I am thankful. But she does continue. "Then Jake started the drugs. At first it wasn't that bad, mostly just cigarettes, occasionally marijuana…but the Carls got rid of us anyway. Then we were sent to the Swifts and his drug usage just got worse and worse and then the suicide attempt and the forest…" Up till this point her speech as gotten faster and faster as she gets closer and closer to crying. She suddenly takes a deep breath and whispers, "And you know what comes after."

"Yes…and I'm very happy for it." She still looks sad, so I pull her onto my lap and hold her. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I tilt my head to rest on top of hers.

After several silent minutes she says, "As much as I hate him…in a twisted way…some part of me is grateful to him…some part of me considers what happened with Connor the second-best thing that ever happened to me."

I flinch involuntarily. What is she talking about? How can she still like him at all? "Why?" I whisper.

"Because even though it was indirect and unintentional on his part, it still led me to the best thing. It's kind of like being happy for trials that in the end bring happiness. Weird but true."

"What's the best thing?"

She closes her eyes. It's rare for me to see Anna so peaceful like this. "If not for being heartbroken, I'm fairly certain I could have handled Jake's drugs. If I had handled that, I wouldn't have run away, and I wouldn't have ended up in that park."

**Anna POV**

"You mean the best thing was coming here to Japan?"

Kind of. Indirectly. The location actually has no influence on it whatsoever. "Sure," I reply, not bothering to open my eyes. He's holding me. His arms are around me, and he is protecting me from my memories as well as he can. "We'll go with that." Let him figure out that Japan itself has nothing to do with it.

* * *

Well, here is this chapter. It is dedicated to Foxgirl Ray, since she is the one who gave me the inspiration for this chapter. :D I only own Anna, Jake and Dr. Takei. Anna being the most important one, of course. Now on to the reviews.

Arista Lycoris: Hahaha. I hadn't noticed. However, the fact that the girls falling for Kurama having mental disorders (of course, Anna doesn't really have a mental disorder, she just has...issues) might say something about Kurama. As for Shizuru, when I started this story I had no intention of making her anything more than a minor character. So much for that.

wolvesrain17: agreed.

Angel of Randomosity: Most definitely. It's kind of painful for me to write. I'm most definitely NOT a romance person. I think this is probably the closest thing I've gotten to girl-falls-for-boy, boy-falls-for-girl, and they-live-happily-ever-after. Well, for the focus of the story at least. Romance generally is the minor plot that underlies some other major plot. Now I'm rambling and don't remember what I was trying to say, so I'll just shut up.

Starmaid15: Well, posting 3 chapters without you... I don't _try_ you know. I'm just trying to get enough posted so I can post the first Christmas chapter on Christmas. So I am trying to post quickly, but I'm not trying to leave you behind.

animegrlsteph: Of course it's cute. Kurama and Anna are almost disgusting with how cute they are. Until Anna gets just a bit more comfortable. Then it just turns funny.


	55. Fifty Four

**And Rain Falls Angry on the Tin Roof**

_One month later…_

**Anna POV**

As I'm making breakfast, Kurama comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "I'll never get over the fact that I can touch your hand or shoulder without getting slapped."

I smile. "Just be careful you don't get too familiar."

He spins me around. "Define too familiar."

"I think you can figure that one out without help. And if you can't, that's not my problem."

"You're probably right." He kisses me once, then says, "Shiori wants me to come home for dinner tonight since I haven't seen her in a while. Will you come with me?"

"Isn't meeting-the-parents a little serious, Kurama?" I turn back to my eggs, which are starting to smoke. But eggs hardly matter. I know this relationship is a serious one. I've known that from the beginning. There's no way this relationship couldn't be serious. But meeting his parents somehow makes it official. Which frightens me.

"I am serious, Anna," he reminds me as I carry my plate to the table. "And Shiori wants to meet you."

"We've already met," I say carefully.

He makes a face. He doesn't appreciate my technicality. "Fine. She wants to meet my girlfriend."

I glare. Now he's using a technicality on me. I wasn't his girlfriend the one time I met his mother. "Fine. But…"

"But what?"

"No promises on my good mood." I take a bite of eggs before adding, "Shuichi."

"Oh." He suddenly understands. This is going to be so much fun. He turns and starts getting food for himself.

_That evening…_

**Kurama POV**

Anna reluctantly gets out of the car. I guess Shiori was waiting for us because she rushes out to meet us. "Shuichi!" She hugs me and says, "You really need to come home more often." Then she turns to Anna. "It's good to see you again, Anna. I don't think we were properly introduced last time. I'm Shiori."

"Nice to see you again." Anna smiles. But how many times will she tolerate hearing my human name?

"Shiori!" my stepfather yells from inside. "Something's boiling!"

Shiori rushes inside to save the meal. I turn to Anna. "You'd never know he survived for six years without a woman to take care of him."

"See?" she mutters. "It's actually us women who take care of you all."

I chuckle. "Probably true, now that I think about it."

I take her hand and lead her inside. We sit down to dinner with my parents and brother.

"Hey Hatanaka, Takeshi," I say. "This is Anna. Anna, my stepbrother Hatanaka and my stepfather Takeshi."

Hatanaka looks at her for a few seconds. "She's hot. I approve." Then he begins shoveling food in.

"Hatanaka!" his father says sharply, attempting to reprimand his son for the comment.

I look at my stepbrother and whisper, just loud enough for Anna to hear, "I agree."

"Shuichi!" Shiori says in shock.

The comments have no effect on Anna. Well, Hatanaka's has no effect. When I agree, a blush begins to creep up over her cheeks. But she is trying not to laugh. To keep from laughing, she begins eating. Suddenly, Shiori, trying to draw her into the conversation, asks exactly the wrong question. "Could you tell us a little bit about yourself, Anna?"

"What do you want to know?"

Don't say family or childhood, Mom, please don't. "How about your family? Shuichi hasn't told me anything about that, since he hasn't met any of them." Crap.

She tenses, but I'm not sure if it's because of the question or because of the name Shuichi. At any rate, she answers quickly, watching Shiori and hardly blinking, "My dad is dead, my brother was addicted to drugs for almost four years, and my mother's just a bitch. Can we leave it at that?" Shiori's eyes are wide, and Anna finally looks away and continues eating. Takeshi's food is paused halfway from the table to his mouth.

After a long pause, Takeshi says, "Well, Anna, I see you don't waste words."

"That she doesn't," I mutter. She elbows me. "Ow."

Shiori suddenly changes the subject. "Well, Shuichi. You hardly call me anymore and never come to see me. Your birthday is less than a month away. I don't know if I'll see you before then." Before I can answer that I'll see her for New Year's, I am distracted by Anna.

Anna fixes her gaze on me. I don't think I'll ever get over how unnervingly penetrating those brown eyes can be. "Birthday?" she asks.

"January 14," Shiori provides. Then she turns to me, "How long have you two been dating? And you don't know each other's birthdays?"

"I know hers," I say. "And I hadn't told her mine. Age isn't exactly important to Anna."

"What do you mean?" Hatanaka asks, mouth full.

I look at Anna. "You want to answer?"

"Sure. I view time as nothing more than a pointless, human construct designed to mark the passing of the seasons. It does not matter to me if I am eight or eighty-eight. All that matters is that, right now, it's winter. It will be spring next."

"So how old are you?" Hatanaka would ask that.

"She didn't know how old she was when we met. Dates and times don't mean much to her either. She turned twenty almost two months ago."

Hatanaka laughs once and replies, "You're girlfriend's older than you. She can hold that over for you forever, Shuichi."

Anna snorts and nearly chokes on a bite of food. "Are you okay?" Shiori asks.

Anna nods quickly, still trying not to laugh. "It's just, three months is hardly older." Oh. That's what's funny. I can't help myself; I start laughing too. Her being three months older hardly matters when I had nearly twelve hundred years before I took this form. I don't know what's so funny, but I can't stop laughing. Perhaps it's the fact that Anna actually finds this situation funny. She laughs so rarely. Unless she's laughing at me.

"What did I miss?" Hatanaka asks, looking from me to Anna and back again.

Shiori shakes her head, bewildered.

Takeshi just says, "I haven't the slightest, but I missed it too."

* * *

Lalalalalala! Finals are over and my Latin final was terrible, but that's probably because I was too busy writing this story to study! Four days till Christmas! And Happy Saturnalia everyone! For those of you who don't know, Saturnalia is the pagan celebration of the winter solstice that many historians believe is the reason we celebrate Jesus' birth in december rather than late march or early april (when the Romans would have conducted the census). Now that I've given you a bunch of completely useless information, I only own Anna, Jake and Dr. Takei, and on to the reviews.

One last thing-I have come to the conclusion that there are bits and pieces of this story that are missing. However, the bits that are missing would not be from Anna's or Kurama's POV. So I have decided to post a series of oneshots and/or songfics that are these little bits and pieces I am finding in my brain. The first will be posted today, and they will be under the story 'Runaway,' if you want to check that out (if you don't, that's okay too. Nothing in it will be necessary for the understanding of this story).

Sarcastic Nightmare: I'm happy to here that I have once again delivered a good chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one just as much!

Angel of Randomosity: Kind of sad but somehow necessary. Let me know when you post. :D

animegrlsteph: It's sweet that they both shared.

Arista Lycoris: that's probably because Togashi doesn't really develop her character all that much. You have a basic foundation to work with, but you can let it go anywhere from there. :)

Insanity4Apples: Finally is definitely the right word.


	56. Fifty Five

**As We Lie Awake in My Bed**

_That night…_

**Anna POV**

"Well, Mom, we should probably go," Kurama says, standing up. "The temple is quite a ways away." I stand up too. Thank god. I really like Shiori, but if I have to hear the name Shuichi much more…if I have to say it one more time…Kurama hugs his mother, then Shiori comes over to hug me.

"I hope to see you again soon, Anna," she says, smiling.

"I feel the same way." Why is Kurama so surprised?

He says goodbye to his stepfather and stepbrother, and we leave. On the way to the car, I ask, "Why were you surprised when I said I wanted to see your mother again?"

"Well, I…" He stops a moment, brow furrowed.

"You look cute when you're confused, just so you know."

A slight blush covers his cheeks. Ha. Payback for earlier. He makes a face and says, "You just didn't seem too happy. You seemed…tense most of the time."

I sigh and shake my head. "Kurama…you really think my mood is because of the people? I like your family a lot. It's your deceiving them that irritates me."

"That's it?" he asks, starting the car. Yes, that's all. What is there to not like about Shiori? She's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

"I understand why, so it doesn't bother me quite as much as before. I understand the idea of wanting to protect someone you love." He looks at me for a second as he pulls out of the driveway. Oh yeah. I haven't told him the real reason I didn't tell him I loved him before I left was because I didn't want to hurt him. And now, I haven't told him because…because I'm still scared of my own emotions. God, Anna. Must you be afraid of such things all the time? "The main thing that frustrates me now is the need for me to be careful not to call you by your name."

He takes one hand off the wheel and places it over mine. Looking at me, he says, "Thanks for going with me, Anna."

"You're welcome. Now just watch the road."

He chuckles, but he does as I ask.

An hour later…

Kurama turns off the car, but neither of us get out. Finally I say, "I'm tired, Kurama. Let's go inside."

"Okay," he sighs. "I was just trying to hold on to this."

"Hold on to what?"

"This moment alone with you." I'm starting to realize…he is a hopeless romantic. Huh. I always thought a guy like that would annoy the hell out of me. So much for that prediction.

"Me too."

**Kurama POV**

She smiles, squeezes my hand and climbs out of the car. I get out and follow her towards the temple. At the door, she pauses, turns to me and says, "It doesn't have to end, Kurama."

"What do you mean, Anna?" She's totally lost me. What is it about Anna that lets her do that to me? Very few people can confuse me at all. No one else can confuse me as consistently as she does. But she said I'm cute when I'm confused. That's a compliment, right?

She doesn't answer my question. Instead she smiles and says, "You're confused again." Why does my face feel hot? This isn't fair! Why can't I control this? She laughs. "You're cute when you're embarrassed too." She smiles again, and this time I see something else in that smile. She's up to something. But what on earth is going through her mind right now? I can see the plan formulating behind her eyes, but it isn't being written in any language I can understand. She turns back to the door and disappears inside.

I follow her. I'd follow her anywhere. I understand the phrase now, about following someone to hell and back.

By the time I catch up to her, she's going into the bathroom, toothbrush and pajamas in hand. I wait for my turn in the bathroom. She opens the door, stands on her tiptoes to give me a quick kiss, then she vanishes down the hall. I still think she's up to something. Unfortunately, I still don't know _what_. And Anna being Anna, that worries me. I hesitate then head down the hall after her.

I knock on her door, but there isn't any response. What did she mean when she said the moment didn't have to end? How is it supposed to continue if we're not together?

I slowly return to the bathroom and prepare for bed. I walk back to see if Anna is ready to answer her door. I knock once and wait for her to…but wasn't my door closed? Yes. I'm sure it was.

I push the door open and find Anna laying on my bed. "Anna, what are you doing?"

She looks up at me innocently. "I invited myself to spend the night."

"Spend the night?" All night? What? Is this what she meant by the moment not ending?

"Oh, Kurama, don't look at me like that." Look at her like what? "It's not like I haven't slept in here before."

Yes. That's true, as surreal as it seems to me even now. "But that was different. You were semi-suicidal. And we _weren't dating_."

"So?" So? Does she not understand what everyone else will think?

"Spending the night with someone means something entirely different when the two people are dating rather than just friends. What will they think, Anna?"

She stares at me. "Who cares what they think?" I stand here across the room from her, unable to move, unable to speak. She sighs. "Okay. I get it. You care. So leave the door open. It's not like we're doing anything we wouldn't do with them here."

I smile. "Okay." I pull the door all the way open, turn off the lights and lay down next to her. After a few seconds of silence, I say, "You're my girlfriend. This shouldn't be awkward."

"Evidently it's only awkward for you."

I turn on my side to face her, only to discover she's already looking at me. "Why is it only awkward for me, do you think?"

"You care what they think. I like them, but if they have a problem with anything I do, it's just that: _their_ problem. I want to be here with you, and nothing is going to make me change my mind on that. And I'm tired and can't really think about much beyond the fact that I want to go to sleep." For being so tired, she sure thought all that through pretty well. But she is so beautiful. She let her dark hair down, and strands of it are falling in her face and falling on my arm. Her brown eyes gaze at me.

"If you're so tired, why are you still talking?"

"It's not _my_ fault," she retorts. "_You_ still haven't kissed me goodnight."

I laugh and give her a quick kiss. "So it's my fault, is it?"

"Of course. I can find a way to blame you for anything." I most definitely believe that one. "Good or bad." The good too…maybe her ability to blame me isn't such a bad thing. "And I know you can give me a better goodnight kiss than that."

I smile, but I don't know if she can see it. "I can live with that." I kiss her once more. "Good night, Anna."

"Good night, Kurama," she whispers, her breath dancing across my cheek. Then she rolls over to her other side, back to me, and almost immediately falls asleep.

It's nice, being this close without worrying about her injuring herself or me. She's warm, alive. Thank god she's alive. The blood…I shudder. But that's the past. All that matters is that she is next to me, her heart is beating, and her breathing is quiet and even.

But how does she do that? This is the third night we've spent together. And every time she's fallen asleep within seconds of deciding to sleep. I can't fall asleep that quickly when Anna's _not_ here.

"I love you, Anna," I whisper to the darkness, to the girl sleeping next to me.

When she doesn't reply, I slide a few inches closer to her. I slide my arm under hers, wrap it around her middle and hold her to me. I will never let her go. I'll die before I let that happen.

As I feel myself fading into sleep, I also feel Anna's small hands lace their fingers into mine, holding my hand gently. She whispers something, but I can't quite tell what it is. I'll ask her in the morning…

* * *

They are such an odd couple. That's really all that can be said. Y'all know who I own, and here we go to the reviews.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Won't have to wait for long. :D

animegrlsteph: I know! I pick on Kurama for that so much in this story...

Angel of Randomosity: I am so ready for the Christmas chapter. So ready. So excited. :D Happy holidays to you too.

Arista Lycoris: And that limited amount of info makes her easy to write. :) Here's your new chapter, I hope it was enjoyable.


	57. Fifty Six

**And You're My Survival, You're My Living Proof**

_The next morning…_

**Kurama POV**

I wake up, and I find I have moved in even closer to Anna. Or she moved closer to me. I feel her hands around mine. I can't think why I found this so awkward last night. It isn't any longer. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps I do care about what they think too much. When did that happen? When did the opinions of others begin to be so important?

Now…after spending the night with her…I care about the opinions of three people: Anna's, Shiori's and my own.

And one opinion matters more than any other: exactly what does Anna think of me?

I would like her to…don't get ahead of yourself, Kurama. She hasn't said "I love you" yet. She is _acting_ like she loves me…some things she has said imply it…but she hasn't actually told me. You need to wait until she tells you that, Kurama. Only then can I let myself start thinking about spending the rest of my life with her.

But…I'm not sure she notices…she sings to herself, just as her father did. That's new since she came back to Japan. New since we started dating. And it's gotten more frequent lately. And by the sound of some of them, she picked them up from her father as well. I just wonder that she remembers the words and tunes after all these years. Anna bewilders me.

_Baby you're all that I want when you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe. We're in heaven. And love is all that I need, and I found it here in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven._ Lying here with Anna…it is like heaven.

I…being here with Anna…it almost makes me wonder if I didn't die. No, that's a lie. When I die, I'm going to hell. This can't possibly be anyone's definition of hell. But, even though I haven't died, even though karma or whatever hasn't caught up to me quite yet…what could I have possibly done to deserve this?

Nothing. Perhaps…perhaps, sometimes, the universe gives us that which we do not deserve…

Or perhaps, with Anna, the universe is giving me a chance to redeem myself, as it did with Shiori.

"Kurama…" she mumbles.

Huh. I thought she was asleep. "Yes?"

"Mmm…don't touch me…" Never mind. She's is still asleep. I'd forgotten she talks in her sleep. But…whenever I hear it…why is she always talking about—or to—me? Is that a good sign or a bad one?

"Kurama…?" I don't respond. How can you have a conversation with someone who's asleep? But then she repeats, still mumbling, "Kurama?"

I honestly can't tell if she's sleeping or not. "What, Anna?"

"I…you…" She what? Ugh. This is frustrating. I want to know what she's saying. But it's entirely pointless to attempt to have a real conversation with someone who's asleep. Especially since what she'd say is likely nonsense.

"Mm-mm-mm-mmmm…" Is she _humming_?

I looked up some of the songs. Some of them were actually difficult to find, since I didn't know the title or the artist…

Suddenly her thumb begins rubbing back and forth across the back of my hand. She's really awake now. Well, conscious at least, if not entirely awake.

Softly, in English, I sing, "_You dream of sure love, and I dream of your love. Your dream and my dream are one and the same. I'm a sure thing. You think love's a gamble. Take this chance, or you'll never know. I'm a sure thing. Love can be forever, and I'm the one who'll never let go._"

She lets go of my hand and rolls over to face me. "I know," she whispers, chocolate eyes staring at me. "Do you even know who that song's by?" she asks.

"Not a clue." That was one of the ones I didn't look up. She sings it often enough.

"Foster and Lloyd." She looks at me inquiringly. "How do you even know that song?"

"That's one of the most common you go around singing."

"Oh." Did she not know what she was singing? "The moment I realize I'm singing, I stop." That would explain why she sometimes stops in the middle of a line.

"Why do you sing that one so much, do you think?"

**Anna POV**

I'm glad it's so dark in here. He won't be able to see how warm my cheeks are getting. At least not very well. I hope. "I don't have any idea." Whatever. If I've really been singing that song…others like it…brilliant. Either he's starting to suspect the truth, or he really is an idiot.

But why do I care so much? I _do_ love him. He loves me. Why am I still so…afraid? Why do I feel like I'd be so vulnerable if I told him the truth? It makes no sense.

You think love's a gamble. Take this chance, or you'll never know. I should. I should take this chance. "Kurama, I—"

Suddenly there is a flash, and we both throw our arms up to protect our eyes. Before the spots have left my eyes, Shizuru laughs. "That picture is going on your wedding invitations. You look adorable."

He moves to get up, but I just reach over the side of the bed. The first thing I find is a shoe. Shizuru only narrowly avoids it. "No need to get violent, Anna. I'm just getting back at the two of you. I've been putting up with your relationship issues for the last ten months."

I jump out of bed. "Give me that camera, Shizuru."

"Not a chance." She disappears from the doorway.

I move to follow her, but Kurama catches my arm. "What?" I ask.

"Is it really worth the effort?"

"But she has a picture of us," I object. Suddenly, hurt crosses his face. What did I say? Oh! I wrap my arms around him. "Oh, Kurama. I'm sorry. I didn't mean—habit you know? I told you last night—leave the door open, and who cares what they think? I _meant_ that, Kurama, I swear it."

"Then why did you want the picture back?"

"Kurama…some learned behaviors die hard. Name one person who wouldn't have gone after Shizuru. Other than you. I did pick up some habits in the seventeen years I lived in…civilized society."

He smiles and kisses me. "Okay. I was overreacting."

No you weren't. His reaction is entirely understandable. He thought I was embarrassed to be seen with him. Which for a moment—quite irrationally—I was. Whatever. "Let's go get breakfast."

He takes my hand, and we walk toward the kitchen. "What were you going to say before Shizuru interrupted?" he asks. I get ready to answer, but what Shizuru said suddenly sinks in. I freeze. "Anna? Is something wrong?"

"Wedding," I say. "She said _wedding_. What would give her that idea?" It's way too soon to think about lifetime commitment. I need to get past telling him I love him first. "What have you been saying to her, Kurama?" Or is that merely the conclusion she drew from knowing that I love him too?

"Me? Nothing! I mean I've…thought about the possibility before," his speech slows. Why is he nervous? Does he think I'll be angry? Suddenly the words speed up again, faster than they were before. "But I haven't said anything because I didn't want to push that on you." That's so…sweet. "Well, I did tell Shiori, but only because she asked if I only liked you because I wanted…er…"

"To get in my pants?"

He closes his eyes. He's torn between being embarrassed and being amused. "Yes."

I grin. He's cute when he's embarrassed. Let's see if I can amplify that. "Do you?"

"Do I what?" Playing dumb is he?

"Want to get in my pants." I watch his face.

It promptly turns bright pink. "Anna—I—I—Anna!" he sputters.

I let go of his hand, stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. Hooking my arm under his and resting my head on his shoulder, I say, "Kidding, Kurama."

"Thanks, Anna." His reply is so sarcastic that I can't help myself.

"I already know the answer to the question. You do." He starts to object, but I don't let him. "But I also know you won't take advantage of me."

He is mollified by that, but he still insists on asking, "If you knew the answer, why ask the question?"

"I've told you before: you're cute when you're embarrassed."

"And I think you're cute despite how annoying you are," he mutters trying to hide the fact that he's embarrassed to be called cute.

"Does the word cute bother you, Kurama?" I ask. "Would you prefer pretty?" I laugh as his face starts to color again.

* * *

Honestly...I don't know where half this chapter came from. That's okay. No update tomorrow, buuuuuuut the next chapter is Christmas! Success! Anyway, I only own Anna in this chapter and on the reviews.

Insanity4Apples: she said 'I love you.' See she's trying. She tried to say it again in this chapter, but Shizuru interrupted them...ahhh. Shizuru just screwed up what she's working towards...

animegrlsteph: Hahahaha. Remember this chapter? I told you about it when I wrote it. :)

wolvesrain17: It's all good. I'm glad to see you still like the story. Happy holidays to you too.

Aya Ayame: Glad you liked it. This chapter isn't quite cute, but that's okay. It makes me laugh. Anna makes me laugh. Happy holidays to you too.

Angel of Randomosity: EXACTLY. How could you not love Shiori? She's one of the sweetest people ever. How else would she have cracked the shell Kurama had built around his heart? Anyway...yeah, Anna's pretty much afraid of all emotions, the possible exception being rage.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Ding, ding, ding! That's exactly what she said. Glad I got that across. ;) Here's a not-quite-so-cute chapter that borders more on...ridiculous.


	58. Fifty Seven

My Love Is Alive, Not Dead

_One week later (Christmas)…_

**Kurama POV**

"Happy Christmas, Kurama," she says, and I open my eyes. Anna is there next to me. Since the night at Shiori's she's been sleeping in here.

Yusuke made fun of us when he found out. Anna punched him in the stomach. He hasn't said anything about it since. I laugh under my breath. "What?" she asks.

"Thinking about Yusuke. It was nice to see you hit someone else for a change." She smiles. It makes me happy that she finds it amusing too. "Happy Christmas, Anna."

We lay there for a moment, then she asks, "Are you ready for the Christmas party?"

"No."

She props herself up on an elbow and stares at me. "Why not? How much worse than Saturday nights can it be?"

I look at her. "Good point. Until you throw in what kind of gifts Yusuke generally receives."

"Example?"

"Just prank gifts. Or rather, gifts that aid him in pulling pranks. I'm not sure why we consistently get him gifts like that. And some of them in the past have been rather…twisted. Throw in that people actually get less drunk—possible exceptions being Atsuko and Chu—and it just gets…crazy, since they're not drunk into the usual stupor."

Her lips twitch, but she tries to hide her amusement. "Let's go get breakfast."

I nod. "Sounds like a plan."

We get to the kitchen, and I'm surprised to find it filled. Nearly everyone is already here, already eating. Shizuru hands each of us a plate and shouts to the room, "This is y'all's Christmas present from me, mind you!"

I laugh and fill my plate.

_Later that day…_

We've almost sorted through all the gifts. Most of them—as usual—have been sweets or random items with no practical use. There are exceptions. Keiko gave Yusuke something he's been wanting for his stand. Chu got Atsuko some strong liquor from the demon plane. It's already half gone. Keiko got me a small, potted plant. I shake my head. A small, potted, _plastic_ plant. Yusuke about died laughing at that one.

Anna's been sitting next to me the whole time. Her gifts were all more or less the same. She explained to me that she didn't have money to buy things, and there's only so much you can do with the herbs and flowers growing in the forest in December.

Suddenly a package is thrown at my head. I catch it. I look at the tag. "From Santa?" I ask. I glance around the room.

Anna's eyes are glinting with amusement. Shizuru, too, is trying not to laugh. She's in on this. I let it sit in my lap. I'm not really sure I want to open this.

**Anna POV**

He freezes. He knows something's up. Shizuru had to help me with this one. I would have had a hard time sneaking away from him to go to the store with her.

"Aren't you going to open it, Kurama?" Shizuru says loudly, drawing everyone's attention to the gift he's holding.

"Looking at your face—and Anna's—I'm a bit afraid to open it," he admits.

By now Yusuke's and Kuwabara's interest has been completely drawn to the package in his lap. "Open it," Yusuke urges. "I wanna know what's in it. If you don't open it, I will."

"Fine." He shakes his head. "Fine." He rips the paper open, promptly turns red and quickly covers the contents back up.

"You don't like it, Kurama?" I ask.

"No—yes—Anna!"

Yusuke suddenly dives forward, knocking the gift to the ground. Kurama tries to hide it, but it's too late. Yusuke, Kuwabara and the others have already seen the Christmas tree-print boxers.

Yusuke staggers into the wall he's laughing so hard. Kurama just sits back, still a bit pink, giving it up as a lost cause.

**Kurama POV**

Why? What would make her do something like this? As if she knows what I'm thinking, she says, "You're absolutely adorable when you turn that color, Kurama." Of course that's why. I just don't know _why_ I'm embarrassed. Because what I have with Anna carries so much meaning, meaning they'll place more meaning on this than it really carries? Yet, for some reason, I can't make myself get mad at her for it.

Especially when she cuddles up next to me. "I'll give you your real present later."

"What?"

"You think that was you real present? That was just a joke, Kurama. From me and Shizuru. To see you—"

"Cute?" I interrupt her.

"Yes," she replies as the room finally calms down.

She is suddenly handed a box. She takes the paring knife she got from the kitchen and slits each piece of tape. She takes off the paper and carefully folds it up. She's done that every single time. She finally takes the lid off the box.

She smiles, but then she begins to cry. She pulls out the frame that holds the picture of her brother I stole from her room three days ago. "I miss him, Kurama. I miss him so much. I wish he could be here."

"I know," I whisper. "The gift is just a symbol. A promise either to take you to America or bring him here before next Christmas comes around."

"Really?" she looks at me, eyes watering.

"Really. I promise."

She throws her arms around me. "I love you, Kurama. I've loved you almost from the beginning."

* * *

Yes! Finally! I only own Anna and, success! I got to post the first part of Christmas on Christmas! Yay! I'll probably post the next part of Christmas on Wednesday or something, and then the posts/chapters will be in real time for a while. :) I only own Anna and on to any reviews! BTW, sorry this wasn't earlier today, I had no time till now.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Yes I do celebrate Christmas! Happy christmas & new years to you too! I'm glad you liked the chapter even though it was a bit less serious.

animegrlsteph: glad to hear it! How'd you like the ending?

Angel of Randomosity: Yeah...leave it to Shizuru to ruin the moment she's pushing them towards. Hahaha. I hope you liked Christmas part 1. :D

wolvesrain17: Yeah, I prefer cute too. It's just that you hear girls calling guys pretty, and I'm sure Anna _knows_ he would prefer cute. But she also knows that suggesting he's pretty would embarrass him... Is the fact that Anna has Kurama figured out, but Kurama can't figure her out simply because that's how Anna is or because I, the author, can't figure her out? (Did that even make any sense?)

Happy Holidays, all! (God bless us, every one.)


	59. Fifty Eight

**And Tell Me That We Belong Together**

**Kurama POV**

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"What?" I whisper into the dead silence that has filled the room.

"I love you," she says in my ear. "I love you so much. You have no idea how much I love you."

I pull her to me. "This is the best present you could give me, Anna. The very best."

"I know," she whispers. "I've been trying to tell you for a while now, but I didn't know how. And I didn't know what to get you for Christmas either. A few days ago, I put the two things together. I realized that there was nothing I could give you that would make you happier."

"You're giving me your love for Christmas?" She sits back, but she's still basically sitting in my lap.

"No." She twirls the end of my hair on her finger. "I'm informing you that you already had it."

"_Finally_," I hear Keiko mutter.

I look up. "You knew?"

Yusuke stares at me. "You serious, Kurama? You really didn't know? You really need to stop thinking you don't deserve her, man. It's making you blind to the obvious."

"Why wouldn't you deserve me, Kurama?"

"I've…I told you about my life, all the things I've done. Why would I deserve to be as happy as I am right now?"

"Because you're a good person?" she asks, mocking uncertainty.

I start to shake my head, but before I can speak, Shizuru says, "I'm sick of your idiocy, the both of you. You love each other. That's all that matters. There's no point in contemplating stupid things like why you do or don't deserve each other."

I look at Anna, and she answers my unspoken question. "All I've done is hurt you. I've hurt you over and over again, even after I realized I love you."

"When did you realize that?" Yes…exactly how long have I been oblivious?

"When I was in the hospital. But some sort part of me always knew I was going to end up in love with you."

"If you knew…" The party has started around us, but Anna doesn't seem to notice.

"I was afraid. First of getting hurt. Then of hurting you if what I was feeling wasn't real."

**Anna POV**

His green eyes stare into mine. "But you just claimed you've done nothing but hurt me." Well, that's something. Claimed. He disagrees.

"I believed it would hurt you less to believe I didn't love you than it would if you thought I loved you, and it turned out I didn't."

He kisses me. "If it wasn't love you were feeling, what did you think it was?" His question is so sincere. How am I supposed to answer that?

"That night…when we were both drunk…that was before I knew I loved you…Right then…drunk as I was…there was hardly much more than a physical motive." I look at him. "Come on. Let's go join the others. It's Christmas. Time to celebrate."

"It's the best Christmas of my life."

"You," I tell him, pulling him to his feet, "are a hopeless romantic."

"It hardly matters what I am. No, I take that back. I _am_ with you. That matters."

"That is so over the top it makes me want to gag."

He spins me around and pulls me to him. "Just trying to prove your point." He grins. Pointing at the ceiling he says, "Look." I glance up. "Mistletoe."

He leans in and kisses me. When he pulls away, I say, "Like you need an excuse to kiss me."

"True," he laughs.

"But I need an excuse to kiss you. Look," I say.

"At what?"

"We're still under the mistletoe." I pull his head down, so I'm tall enough to reach his lips.

"I love you, Anna," he whispers, looking down at me.

"And I love you. Now that you know that, you'll never be able to get rid of me."

He picks me up at the waist and spins me around, like in the movies. It's almost pathetic how cheesy it is. It is pathetic that I like how cheesy it is. He sets me back down on the floor. "Good."

Before I can respond, Atsuko shouts, "You two are so cute together it's almost disgusting!"

"Yeah," Yusuke suddenly puts in. "Get a room!"

"Anna…" I look away from Yusuke to see Kurama grinning down at me. "Allow me to point out that you, too, are…how did you put it? Absolutely adorable? Yes. You too are adorable when you're embarrassed."

I hadn't realized I was embarrassed. But now that he says that…why am I embarrassed? Aw, who cares? "Aren't you?"

"No. I can't be embarrassed. I'm far too happy."

_Later that night…_

As Anna crawls into bed next to me, she's singing under her breath. I don't say anything. If I do, it will break the spell. And Anna's singing is the one way I can occasionally get a relatively clear understanding of what's on her mind.

"_Blame it on the mistletoe 'cause what happened there nobody knows. How could something simple as a kiss change my holiday like this? And we held each other all night long, and we fell asleep to a Christmas song playing on the radio. Blame it on the_—" She stops.

"Go on," I say. "I was enjoying it." Not as much as if I was fluent in English, but enough.

She shakes her head. "Who needs mistletoe?" She kisses me once, then curls into a ball in my arms.

Within minutes, she's asleep. I'm currently aware of three things. I'm holding Anna. She does love me. I am very, very tired…

* * *

Okay, there you have it. Hurrah! I only own Anna. ;) And starting next chapter, we'll be in real time for a few weeks! I'm really not sure why I find this exciting...

SolitaryNyght: I'm fairly certain you hit the key word: finally.

Angel of Randomosity: Uh-huh. :) She finally told him. Yay! Happy Holidays to you too!

Sarcastic Nightmare: Randomness: perfectly okay. I absolutely love that part of the series. Makes me laugh every time. As for making Kurama turn red...from here on out, they both get a bit irritating. But only to each other. It just makes me laugh.

animegrlsteph: I love that chapter so much. :D

Starmaid15: I wasn't mad at you. :D sorry if I sounded that way. Sometimes...yeah not all that good at articulating over the computer. I'm actually very happy that your still here with this story. :D I promise!

wolvesrain17: Merry Christmas to you too! Yeah...Christmas night. Well, next we have New Year's which is fun (or funny, not really sure which adjective is better.)

Arista Lycoris: Hahahahahaha


	60. Fifty Nine

**Dress It Up With the Trappings of Love**

_Six days later (New Year's Eve)…_

**Anna POV**

Kurama kisses his mother hello. While he's exchanging hellos with his stepfather and brother, Shiori hugs me. "Hello, Anna. How are you?"

"I'm great," I reply. "And you?"

"Wonderful. Absolutely fantastic." She smiles warmly at me. "You know…before he met you, I was beginning to worry Shuichi would never find anyone. He's young enough, but he never showed even the slightest interest." Is she totally oblivious to how awkward this is for me? Apparently. "I'm just so happy he found a nice girl like you."

"Nice?" Kurama asks, grinning at me. "Right."

I scoop a fistful of snow up off the ground and throw it at him. He wasn't expecting it, so it hits him in the face. He blinks snow out of his eyes. Then his eyes glint with mischief. He shakes his head and bites his lower lip, grinning. "You're going to regret that," he threatens.

"Am I?" I challenge. He seems to be forgetting that I'm the one used to living outside in all weathers.

He packs a snowball, takes careful aim and with exaggerated movements, throws it at me. I duck. The snowball sails over my head and hits Shiori's shoulder. "Sorry, Mom," he apologizes quickly.

Shiori, however, looks absolutely thrilled. In fact, she has already thrown a fistful of snow at him. Unfortunately, she misses by about two feet and hits her husband. She covers her mouth and tries not to laugh. "We're really too old for this," Kurama's stepfather says, at the same time leaning over to get some snow. It's too late. Both of them are involved now, and I somehow doubt Hatanaka will be left out of this willingly.

Quickly, small alliances form. Quite predictably, it's the groups we're already standing in, guys against girls.

Moving around the yard, throwing fists of glittering ice crystals, I quickly start to get warm.

Suddenly Kurama runs toward me, apparently oblivious to the snow that's being thrown at him by me and Shiori, as well as the occasional case of friendly fire. He heads straight for me, and I turn to run. Dang it, I didn't move soon enough.

**Kurama POV**

"No!" she shrieks, laughing as I pick her up. One arm is beneath her back, one under her knees. "That's not fair!"

I ignore her and run to the driveway and dump her in the pile of snow left by Hatanaka and Takeshi shoveling the drive. Almost immediately she launches herself up, tackling me.

I fall backward into the snow. Her momentum carries her forward, and she lands on top of me, laughing. "Truce?" I ask.

"Better yet," she whispers, looking down at me, "Let's get the three of them."

I nod, and she jumps up, pulling me to my feet. It takes the three of them a minute to realize that alliances have changed. But the minute they do, Anna shouts, "Kurama!"

I turn toward her, and yet another snowball hits my face. By the time I understand that Anna has changed sides again, she has grabbed Shiori and disappeared inside.

After I wipe the snow off my face, I follow them. I get inside and start taking off my wet outer clothes. Suddenly Anna appears before me, cheeks still read from the cold, wearing a shirt and sweats that are far too large and look oddly familiar. "I win," she laughs.

"We still have the walk back to the car," I remind her. Are those clothes _mine_?

"You wouldn't," she says.

"Try me." I'm sure those are mine. Why is she wearing my clothes?

Shiori walks up behind Anna and says, "I thought she'd be more comfortable borrowing your clothes than the clothes of an old woman."

"You're not old, Shiori," Anna assures her. Not that age is even a relevant topic here, considering.

"Thanks, dear," Shiori laughs. Looking at Anna, she adds, "Of course, you're so tiny that you'd be drowning in anyone's clothes but Hatanaka's. And that would be even worse than borrowing my clothes, I'd imagine."

Anna nods. "I'm comfortable. Thank you very much." She's comfortable wearing my clothes. Is it weird that that makes me happy? "You're grinning like a fool, K-Shuichi," she says, catching herself at the last second.

"It's just—never mind," I say. I go upstairs to my old room and pull out some clothes. Why does it seem so important to me? Anna and Shiori don't seem to notice. It's just that seeing Anna wear clothes that I've worn before is…intimate somehow. Not quite sure _why_, since we've been sharing a bed for two weeks, but this is somehow different.

**Anna POV**

As we sit down to eat, I have trouble concentrating. I'm wearing his clothes. Why does it feel so natural?

Four hours later…

I look at him. "Countdown?" I ask.

"Let's. Ten."

"Nine," I respond.

"Eight," Shiori joins in.

"Seven."

"Six."

"Five."

"Four." By now we're all speaking. "Three. Two. One."

Kurama wastes no time. He leans in and kisses me, right in front of his parents. Whatever. I kiss back. When we stop kissing, I say, "That was quick."

"I wanted to make sure I was the first to kiss you this year." He kisses me once more. "I didn't want Hatanaka to steal that honor."

"Honor?" I snort. "Right. And I will never kiss anyone but you again. Unless you count kissing Jake on the cheek."

He laughs. "No. That doesn't count."

**Kurama POV**

Wait. Did she say _never again_? Does that mean she sees this relationship as a permanent one? I look into her eyes to find the answers to my question. She just stares back, eyes as unreadable as ever.

"That was gross," Hatanaka comments.

"Shut up," I reply automatically, not looking away from Anna.

"Not you," he says. "You kissing someone is just weird. But Mom and Dad are _old_."

I start laughing, but then I see Anna. She looks sad. "At least your stepmom knows you exist. Until I confronted my mother, her new husband didn't know she had two other kids."

There is silence. Finally I manage to say, "At least you have Jake."

She shakes her head as if to get rid of a negative thought. Then she replies, "No, not anymore."

"What?" I ask that, and Anna grins.

"I'd have to go back in time. Jake is stuck in 2010."

I roll my eyes. "Only for a few more hours."

"And I have you."

I nod. She curls up on the couch, resting her head in my lap. I place my hand on her shoulder. "Always."

"I love you, Kurama."

"I love you, too, Anna."

We sit together for a while before Shiori asks, "What are you doing for your birthday, Shuichi?"

"Nothing," I reply. "I don't want to make a big deal of it."

"Don't count on that," Anna murmurs sleepily, just loud enough for me to hear. I do not like the sound of that.

"Okay, that's fine," Shiori says, unaware of what Anna said. She then begins cleaning up. She looks tired. We should probably go. After a minute, I look down at Anna to suggest this, but she's asleep. I smile. Oh, Anna. Shiori has disappeared into the kitchen, and Takeshi followed to help her.

Suddenly, Hatanaka asks, "Why did she call you Kurama?"

"What?" She did? Crap. I wasn't paying attention. This is bad, this is very bad.

"She called you Kurama. You didn't even notice, you just responded. Is this related to the time that freaky thing crawled in my ear?"

"You remember that?" He shouldn't remember any of it.

"Yeah, bits and pieces. Mostly I just remember being confused as to why I was doing all these things, since I didn't realize I was possessed or whatever until afterward. I remember wondering why I kept calling you Kurama."

That's odd that he would remember anything. I didn't bother with Dream Flower pollen because most people wouldn't remember anything without it. Hm. "All the claims about demons and ghosts that are surfacing lately are true," I explain. "In the demonic world, I am known as Kurama."

"Is Anna a demon?" If only Anna could have heard that question. I'd love to see how she'd react.

"No, she simply has a strong sixth sense." We need to leave before he asks about me. "Could you grab me some blankets? I don't want to wake her up if I don't have to."

He jumps up and goes to get blankets. I ease Anna's head onto a pillow and carry our wet clothes out to the trunk.

I return inside and say to Shiori, "Thanks for having us."

She hugs me and says, "If you hurt her, Shuichi, I will have a few things to say about it."

"I won't, Mom. I promise. I'm going to ask her to marry me." Whoa. Where did that come from? It's the truth, but telling Shiori means I intend to ask much sooner than I was aware of.

Shiori just smiles. "Good. I've never seen you this happy. And she is at least as happy as you are."

I smile and walk back to Anna. I wrap her in the blankets and pick her up. As I'm carrying her out to the car, she curls into me in her sleep, naturally attempting to escape the cold. She's beautiful like this. She's always beautiful. I lay her across the back seat and wave goodbye to my family. She doesn't wake up through it all.

If I ask her, what will she say?

And how do you ask a girl to marry you? When I grew up, you wouldn't necessarily ask the girl. You would ask her father. But things are different now, and her father isn't around to ask anyway.

* * *

Happy New Years everyone! Yay! I only own Anna and now for reviews!

Aya Ayame: Finally! Took her long enough, didn't it?

Starmaid15: hahahaha. That's really funny. I hadn't thought about that. Hahahaha. I haven't read much rurouni kenshin...

animegrlsteph: uh-huh.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Well, here's the more! Hope it was enjoyable.

SolitaryNyght: Glad you enjoyed it. the song was 'blame it on the mistletoe' by...uh...Toby Keith. I meant to put that at the end of the last chapter...my bad.

wolvesrain17: sorry. :(

Arista Lycoris: Haha that's funny. I got my dad the movie 'sometimes a great notion/never give an inch' but he knew that's what he was getting. so i wrapped a different movie.

Angel of Randomosity: actuaaaaaaaaalllllllly... they somehow get even more stupid. not sure how they manage that, but they do. ? whatever. btw, could you please teach me that dance?

Insanity4Apples: Update=arrived.

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Working on Christmas break...goodness...that's ALL I've been doing. Oh, I also couldn't help but notice that you used an adverb where an adverb was needed (lots of people would have used an adjective :P). Is it weird that that makes me happy? Also, I was thinking about people whose reviews I might have to reply to when I decided to update. You were one of the first I thought of. (is that creepy?)


	61. Sixty

**I'll Be Captivated, I'll Hang From Your Lips**

_One week later…_

**Kurama POV**

Why can't I stop thinking about what I said to Shiori? It's true. Maybe that's the problem. It's so true it scares me.

I don't understand. I can go into life-threatening situations, I can fight those with far more power than I possess… I can do those things without fear. But to ask Anna to marry me… why is that such a frightening prospect? Why should I be afraid of that?

Because I'm afraid she'll say no. She loves me, I'm sure of that, but part of me worries that she doesn't want to marry me.

And another part of me is afraid of her. Anna herself. When she wants to, Anna hits _hard_. And I know there is nothing on earth, in the human realm or the demon plane, that could make me raise a hand against her, even to defend myself. I laugh.

"What are you laughing at, Kurama?" Yukina asks.

"I'm afraid of Anna," I reply.

"Why is that funny?" She is so sincerely confused. Kuwabara, you better take care of her. If you don't, I might have to help Hiei kill you.

"She's a human woman," I reply. "Of all the things for a notorious demon thief to be afraid of, it's a human woman."

"As you should be."

I turn around to see Anna and Shizuru have returned from the store. They're each carrying five or six shopping bags. It's amazing the amount of food we go through around here. I stand and move toward them to help.

"Don't help me, Kurama. Go out to the car and bring the rest of the food in," Anna replies, not letting me take anything from her. "We left all the heavy bags out there for you to bring in."

"There's _more_?"

"Of course," Shizuru mutters. "Where have you been, Kurama? There's always more. And we got extras today."

I shake my head in disbelief and head outside. Oh, it's cold. I should've put on a jacket. Sure enough, there' is more. Quite a bit more. How is it that the people living here can go through so much food? I grab as many sacks as I can carry, making sure to grab the heaviest ones, and return inside.

But how do you ask a girl to marry you? How does Anna change from my girlfriend to my fiancée, from the one I'm courting to my betrothed? With anyone else, not that there could ever be anyone else, I'd ask her father first, for tradition's sake and to get things started.

But Anna's father is dead. The only people she has are me, our friends and Jake. Jake. That's it. Closest male relative. He's older than she is, too. And I promised on Christmas to take her to Jake or bring him here. I'll go to America to speak with him and bring him back.

I put the groceries away rather mindlessly, sticking them in the pantry wherever they'll fit. Which seems to be Shizuru's organizational system anyway. "Hey, Shizuru, can I borrow your computer?"

She looks at me suspiciously. I never borrow her computer. Anna does occasionally, to email Jake. But I don't particularly care for them. I find them relatively uncomplicated, but neither are they exactly necessary. "Sure," she finally says. "Anna, will you help me put the rest of this stuff away?" As I leave the room, I feel Shizuru's eyes on my back. She knows something's up. Not sure if that's a good thing.

I open Shizuru's internet browser. How does she even get internet service all the way out here?

It takes awhile, but I find a fairly cheap plane ticket to America. The flight leaves in two weeks. After booking the flight, I search for tickets back to Japan. There we are. I buy the two tickets now, since Jake will probably come back with me, even if he doesn't approve of me marrying his sister. The way I understand it, he and Anna love each other too much for him to turn down an offer to see her.

I go to the website that I found Anna's missing persons report on. She's still there. I guess they don't update it often, at least as far as removing old cases goes. I write down the address of her foster parents.

No going back now.

I close out the internet and shut Shizuru's computer. Hm. I feel strangely calm. I've been stressing over this for a week, but now that the decision has been made, I feel at ease.

"What are you up to?" Anna asks.

I start. I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't notice her com in. "Me? Nothing."

"I don't believe you. Would you really lie to me, Kurama?" she asks.

I groan. Why'd she have to ask that? "Not lie. I wouldn't lie. Somehow, you'd know, even if I tried."

"Then why don't you tell me what you're doing?" she asks.

"It's a surprise."

Her eyes narrow. "I don't like surprises, Kurama."

"You'll like this one," I promise. Provided it stays secret and stays a surprise. Which is exactly why I'm not telling anyone, except perhaps Shiori.

"I doubt it," she mutters. She walks out of the room. I get up to follow, but she has already walked back in. "Let's go for a walk."

"It's freezing outside," I reply.

"So put on a coat." She says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Which, come to that, it is.

I chuckle and nod. "Okay, although I can't imagine why you'd want to."

She looks disappointed. "I thought you, of all people, would understand the beauty of the forest, even in the winter."

The beauty of the forest in winter. It's been years since I've thought of it that way. Very few humans can understand the subtle beauty of trees dropping their leaves to preserve energy, of the way pines hold their needles and provide shelter, of the way the whole forest seems to hold its breath and sleep. Very few humans can understand. Very few demons, for that matter.

I nod. "I understand. It's just been a long time." I put on my coat, and she takes my hand and pulls me out the back doors.

The forest is quiet. We walk a distance in, and she stops. She places a hand on a bare tree and closes her eyes. It's so strange. Only when she's asleep does Anna look this at peace.

After a minute or so, she takes my hand and places it on the tree next to hers. "Close your eyes," she whispers. "Reconnect with the forest. I know you miss it, Kurama. I can feel it. I can see it in your eyes. Reconnect."

I close my eyes. I can feel the trees life beating beneath my palm. Like a pulse but much, much slower. Anna can feel that? I have only met a few who can feel the life of plants as I can. None of them were human. Admittedly, my contact with humans was rather limited until the last few years.

"I taught myself to feel their life," Anna murmurs. "I figured, they live and breathe just like people. I can feel the spirit of humans and the spirit of demons. Why not the spirit of the trees?"

She taught herself? It never occurred to me that that might be possible. "Anna—" I start.

She cuts me off. "Shhh… Just feel the trees life, Kurama. That's all. Life. It's everywhere. And trees don't hurt you. You can trust a tree not to hurt you. People…you must be more careful. But trees will never raise a limb against you."

I nod, although I doubt she sees it. Then I feel not just the one tree but all the trees around us. I feel the whole forest. The plants at least.

If she says yes, I'll have to build a house out here somewhere. Working around the trees.

The peace and calm Anna is emanating spreads over me as well.

* * *

Uh-huh...well...yeah. Anna's insisting on being weird. I guess that's what I get for letting my characters do whatever they want. So...first, this chapter takes place TOMORROW (Friday January 7, 2011). I'm just not going to have internet access so I'm posting it a day early as opposed to two or three days late. Also...starting next chapter and continuing for about three chapters this story will be closer to needing an M rating than ever, just as a warning. So moving past that...Reviews!

canopyskyandblanketseas: New reviewer! Yay! I'm very happy to hear that you want to see Jake again; he's my favorite OC in this story (don't tell Anna, though, she'll kill me).

SolitaryNyght: I love how he asks (yes, I have written that far ahead; now I'm just posting in real time cause it excites me (does that mean I have no life?)). Anyway, here's the update. :)

NatalieRikuLoveStory: The adverb thing...I'm just a grammar Nazi. Enough of one that it makes me happy when someone uses an adverb where it's needed. :) You're the second person whose had 'snowball fight' in all caps.

Starmaid15: Hahaha. That review made my day. Yeah, Hiei's my favorite. But he most definitely would NOT work for this kind of story. And, in all honesty, it's easier to write from Kurama's point of view.

Sarcastic Nightmare: No problem! Here's the new chapter. ;)

animegrlsteph: yeah, that's basically what I'm hearing from everyone.

Insanity4Apples: Ummmm...six chapters from now...I think. As you can see, Kurama has a lot of things to do first. And Anna has some stupid things to do first. *groans*

AprilMae72: Uh-huh. They are. So much so that it almost makes me sick.

Aya Ayame: One of two ways...I would very much like to know what you mean by that. Because I feel that, for this pair, there's really only one way it can go.

Angel of Randomosity: Yay! Actually...the next few chapters...well, one of them is funny, but the others are serious. Which is disappointing. And stupid. Urgh. Anna frustrates me. And it's okay to speak spanish if you're not hispanic. I accidently start speaking spanish without realizing it, and it makes my family angry...

wolvesrain17: yeah, I like longer chapters too. :)

Arista Lycoris: I'll try, but despite what I tell my friends, I am not a psychic (shhh...don't tell them, they haven't figured that out yet!). Anyway, I'm glad it amuses you. Wrapping paper...what I like doing for wrapping presents is using normal wrapping paper but sealing every single seam or whatever with packing tape. It's funny trying to watch people open those...


	62. Sixty One

**Instead of the Gallows of Heartache That Hang From Above**

_One week later…_

**Kurama POV**

Something's not right. Without opening my eyes, I reach towards Anna. My hands do not find her.

I open my eyes and look around the room. She's not here. Which is odd. We normally wake up at around the same time, so that whoever's awake first hasn't had time to crawl out of bed before the other wakes up. Which is weird in itself, but no one ever accused either of us of being normal. If they did, they would be lying.

Why is the door closed? The door is never closed. We make a point of leaving it open. I'm not sure I like this situation.

I get up and get dressed. Then I walk over and turn the knob to go out. Or rather, I try to turn the knob. The door isn't locked, but I can't open it. I force myself to relax and suddenly feel it. Anna's aura is keeping this door shut. The force she can exert unintentionally still astounds me. I don't like to think what she would be capable of if she were taught to control it intentionally. She must _really_ want to keep me in here.

And that worries me.

I suppose I could kick the door down. Then again, even that might not work. And if it did, Shizuru would be pissed.

But why would Anna want me locked up? What could she be—oh dear god. Today's the fourteenth. Shuichi's twentieth birthday. This cannot be good.

I knew I should have bought tickets that would put me out of town today.

I sit on the bed, since there's not much else I can do. Every ten minutes I check the door to see if Anna's finished with whatever she's doing. It's forty five minutes before she throws the door open.

"Oh, good. You're awake." Then she disappears back down the hall. I cautiously follow. I'm not sure I want to—"Happy birthday, Kurama!" she says loudly. Everyone else claps.

I enter the kitchen. Decorations are everywhere. _Everywhere_. I never expected this. I don't want this. Anna doesn't pay any attention to age. "Anna—why?"

"Because," she says, walking up to me. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. "You didn't want to make a big deal of it, so I figured it was a good bet it would embarrass you. And you know how I like to see you embarrassed." She points over her shoulder. "And they're ready for any excuse to party."

"That's the truth," Yusuke says.

"It's ten in the morning," I say.

"So let's pretend it's ten at night," he suggests, grinning. Typical Yusuke.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask.

"You can't get rid of me that easily. I own the stand. I can take off whenever I want."

I look at Anna. "It's all because I love you," she says, putting her hands behind my neck.

My hands travel to her waist. I can't manage to get angry at her for it. Like she said, other than the decorations this is really just another excuse to party. "I love you, too," I answer. I kiss her. Oh, I just want to take her and—no, Kurama. She may love you, but she's had bad experiences in the past. Wait. I must follow the advice Shiori and Takeshi both gave me. I must let Anna set the pace of our relationship. I can wait as long as she wants to.

I'm still going to America to meet Jake. But it's still Anna's decision. I can wait. She grins up at me, as though she knows what I'm thinking. "I know," she says. She does? Does she know what I'm thinking, or is she talking about something else entirely? She grabs my hand and drags me out of the kitchen. "Come one. You need to see the other room."

As she pulls me along, my eyes drift down her neck and—stop, Kurama. Just stop. Anna's choice. Her face, her eyes. Think about those.

But why has it been so much harder to control those thoughts lately? When we're completely exhausted it's not a problem. But gradually, as she stays in my room longer and longer, it has gotten harder not to think these things.

The last few nights, it's been harder to control my hands.

Is it the knowledge of what I'm going to ask or just my human hormones finally getting the best of me?

**Anna POV**

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see him looking at me. His face is conflicted. He's not looking toward my face, but he's looking at me.

It's so funny. He thinks he hides it so well. But he's wanted me for a long time. A _long_ time. In the last week or so it's gotten a lot more intense. But like I told him…he hasn't tried to take advantage of me. I love him more for it.

And, in all honesty, he is not the only one. I find him very attractive, even when I'm sober.

**Kurama POV**

I'll be gone in a week. It will remove this temptation, at least for a while. Perhaps that would be the best thing. Explain to her what I'm struggling with, have her go back to her room.

But would she trust me less if I tell her these thoughts? Not as much as if I didn't manage to control my hands. She warned me not to get too familiar, and she was right in saying I knew what she meant.

Just get past this week, Kurama. You're leaving then. Only six more nights. Oh god. Six more nights.

We enter the room, and I freeze. It looks as though Shizuru and Anna pulled out all the stops on this one. Streamers, colored lights and balloons decorate the ceiling. Confetti is everywhere. And there is a huge table of food running down the center of the room. That's what Shizuru's extras were for.

The lights are low to make the colored ones stand out. Shizuru walks to the stereo and hits play. Music starts, not loud but there, beating quickly through the room.

"How long did this take you?" I ask Anna.

"About two hours." She smiles. "Do you like it?"

"Will you get mad at me if I say no?"

She grins. "Maybe."

"Then yes, I like it."

She laughs. "You're so full of it."

Yusuke and the others appear behind us. Seeing the table, he says, "You didn't tell us there was food!" Then he and Kuwabara swoop down on the table and begin gorging themselves on the junk food.

Another song comes on, much slower. She puts her hands around my neck again. "Dance with me, Kurama."

"Why? We're just in the living room. No one else is dancing."

"So? That doesn't mean we can't dance." She looks up at me with those brown eyes.

"Okay." Will I ever be able to tell her no? I doubt it. My hands are on her waist. Is she trying to make this difficult for me?

When the song is over, Anna drags me over to the table, and we get food.

Then out of nowhere, Anna pulls out a small box. She hands it to me. "I saw this when I was at the store with Shizuru the other day. I thought of you."

Great. Another present from Shizuru and Anna. "Am I going to regret opening this one in front of everyone?" I ask.

"No." Then eyes twinkling, she asks, "Have you worn them yet?"

What am I supposed to say to that? Nothing. I just won't answer. I carefully tear the paper off and open the box. Inside is a small, stone fox wrapped in tissue paper. "Anna, what am I supposed to do with this?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I never said it had any practical use, just that it made me think of you." I can't help myself; I start laughing. It's so typical of Anna to say something like that. Confuse me, then say something like that with such a straight face. "Don't laugh at me," she says, punching my arm but not hard enough for it to actually hurt. I laugh harder. So she drops her plate and drink on the nearest table and tackles me.

The food I'm holding gets all over my shirt as my plate flies from my hand. My soda soaks Anna's shirt. But now she's laughing too.

Standing up, I find everyone staring at us. Then Yusuke asks, "Do I look like that much of an idiot when I'm around Keiko?"

"Yes," Hiei replies immediately. "You all look like idiots around your…women."

Suddenly Shizuru slaps him on the back of the head. "Thank you, Hiei, for your rather unwelcome input."

Hiei glares then says, "You approve of the way they're acting?"

Shizuru shrugs. "I don't care what they do or how they act so long as they don't come crying to me like they have for the last year." Has it really been that long? Has it really been only that long?

"Shut up, Shizuru," I respond, trying to brush the food off my shirt in vain.

"I'll stop annoying you about it when you get down on one knee," she retaliates.

Does she know what I'm planning? How could she? I haven't told anyone. Wait…I never erased her browser history. Would she look at that? Could she deduce what I intend to do from the sites I accessed? I catch sight of Anna. Her brown eyes are watching me. "Why are you red, Kurama?"

Crap. "Oh—I… I need to change shirts." I hurry out of the room.

**Anna POV**

I look at Shizuru. "What is with him today?"

"I have no idea," she replies. "But you might want to go change also."

I nod. What is he up to? It's not just today that he's been acting weird. He's been acting funny ever since New Year's.

Oh well. Shizuru's right. I need to change. I follow him back to our room to get clean clothes. I wonder…I trust he won't try anything…but how will he react? Could be funny…and if he can't control himself…oh well.

**Kurama POV**

As I pull off my shirt, Anna enters our room. I freeze.

She looks at me, her eyes almost analyzing. Then she nods once, answering an internal question. To me she says, "You should go without a shirt more often."

What? I stare as she opens the closet where most of her clothes have migrated at some point or another. What does she mean, I should go without a shirt? Then she pulls off _her_ shirt. Wait, what? What is she thinking? I'm standing right here! I'm—Anna!

She looks down at herself. "Damn it, Kurama, why'd you have to laugh? I'm soaked through."

Then she reaches up behind her back and—look away, Kurama, just look away. I try to look away. I fail. I watch as her bra hits the floor. She keeps her back to me as she slips another on, thank god. If she had faced me…I have no idea what I would have done. Does she know what I'm struggling with? Is she trying to make it more difficult for me? Then she has a clean shirt on, and I can suddenly breathe again.

She picks up her clothes and walks toward me; I still haven't moved since she waked in. Then she says, "You can do the laundry, since this is your fault."

"My fault? You tackled me," I object.

"You laughed," she reminds me. And with Anna's logic, that's a perfectly reasonable explanation for tackling someone. She puts her clothes in my hands and eyes me critically again. "On second thought, you should put a shirt on. I might get jealous if another girl were to look at you for too long." She heads for the door. I look down at the clothes in my hands.

"Anna?" I ask.

She stops and looks at me. "Yeah?"

Don't say it, Kurama, don't say it don't say it don't say it. "Is there a reason this…is bright green with polka dots? Or that the one you're wearing is purple and black zebra print?" Damn it, Kurama. Hold your tongue. Here we go again with the not being able to control what I say.

She smiles, almost laughing. "Do you have a problem with the word _bra_, Kurama? You're turning red, you know. And they're cute, don't you think?" That's it. She is most definitely doing this on purpose. Why I can't imagine. "And on the off-chance that you might see one of them, I want them to look cute, don't I?" She doesn't wait for a reply but grins and leaves the room.

**Anna POV**

Oh my god. Did I really just do that? Oh my god.

"Anna, is something wrong?" Yusuke asks. "Where's Kurama?"

"Uh, he's changing," I mutter.

"He left before you," Yusuke says in confusion. "Aren't you guys sharing a closet?"

"Yeah."

"So how'd you get changed before him?" He is asking way too many questions.

"He got distracted." I pick my plate and drink back up off the table and walk away.

Shizuru follows me. "You're really red, Anna. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you really change with him in the room, Anna?"

Of course she figured it all out. "Yes," I mutter.

"Why?"

I look at her. "You know…I don't really know why. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Then I changed and walked out, and now I can't believe I did something so stupid."

She looks as though she's trying not to laugh. "I wouldn't call it stupid," she says. "More…you want to take your relationship—"

"Stop talking, Shizuru," I interrupt. "Just stop talking."

She takes a drink of her soda. "I'm just saying. You know, hormones. And the way he's been acting…it's a miracle he didn't jump you."

I can't believe I did something so stupid. Maybe if I was drunk, but I haven't had anything to drink since…Saturday. I had one beer. "In some part of my mind that may have been what I was hoping for," I mutter, as Shizuru takes another drink.

She snorts so hard that soda comes out her nose and goes all over the floor. "Ow."

**Kurama POV**

I toss the clothes on the bed. As I pull on a clean shirt and button it, my eyes are drawn to the undergarment on the bed. And I can't stop thinking of how casually she took it off with me in the room. She wasn't even embarrassed.

She is going to kill me yet.

* * *

Well...I'm really not sure where this chapter came from...I think I wrote it at two in the morning. But it's one of my favorites, for some odd reason. Hmmm... oh well. I only own Anna this chapter. Now, on a more serious note, the next few chapters are going to be toeing the line between T+ and M, so let that serve as a warning (I don't even remember what this story is rated...oh well). But only one chapter is really anything super-serious, and I don't want to change the rating of a 75 chapter story for one chapter. So, if you want to protect your innocent little eyes and mind, skip chapter...uh, 64 I think. (coincidence that 64 is my favorite number? I think not.) Now, after that long AN, on to reviews

Starmaid15: It would probably be wise for me to update more often if I really intend to have actual conversations with my reviewers... I honestly don't remember what we were talking about. Anyway, I'm better at making people laugh on the computer too. Face-to-face, not so much.

Foxgirl Ray: Well...it's kind of hard to write a normal story when Anna is so weird herself and is telling me exactly what to write. Well, I hope you still like where the story is going after this chapter.

SolitaryNyght: Thanks. :) Anyway, here's your update and, after the next update, I'll probably be updating more frequently because the timing will be too weird to update in real time.

Sarcastic Nightmare: We'll get to the Kurama-Jake interaction soon. But first we have some things to deal with in Japan. :)

Angel of Randomosity: I think that pretty much sums it all up.

animegrlsteph: Oh...was that the last chapter I posted? I can't keep track of them all. I hope you liked this one. It's still one of my favorites. :)

Insanity4Apples: Just wait. Things get WAY worse. I'm a cruel person. At least to my characters.

wolvesrain17: You have no idea. I have this whiteboard in my room, and it has six square feet of writing space. I had the basic idea of that scene written on that whiteboard for so long...

NatalieRikuLoveStory: In all honesty...Kurama is pretty OOC in this story. That doesn't really change much. Perhaps it gets worse. And you're not the only one who thinks he's being a bit of a dunce. However...in his (and my) defense, Anna is a very difficult person to understand, resulting in some of his confusion. There was something else I was going to tell you...ah well. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Aya Ayame: I think Anna's response is fairly predictable...only issue is some stuff happens that complicates it. A lot. Ah, how I love torturing characters when they give me the opportunity.


	63. Sixty Two

**And I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder, I'll Be Love's Suicide**

_One week later…_

**Kurama POV**

I finish my breakfast and look across the table at Anna. "Why'd you do that last Saturday, Anna?" I've had trouble not thinking about it all week. Especially at night. But I need to ask her, and I leave tomorrow. I may not have another chance before then.

"The party or the shirt-change?"

So she does know what I'm talking about. That means she was definitely doing it on purpose. "The shirt."

She smiles wryly. "I'm not really sure. I didn't quite think that one through." She's not _sure_? She continues, "All that really went through my mind was that you've been having issues the last week or so. And I once told you that you would never take advantage of me. So the stupid part of me decided I should put myself in a completely vulnerable position." Anna, vulnerable? Yeah, right. "Shizuru figured out what I did, by the way," she adds.

So Shizuru once again knows everything that's happening between me and Anna, perhaps better than I do. I wave that away. "So it was a test."

She looks down, ashamed. "Yes. And a rather cruel test at that. In my defense, though, I never really thought about the fact that I'd have to change bras too. And by then it was too late."

"And if I hadn't been able to control myself? If I had failed?" Calm, Kurama. Don't get angry. I have to work to control my voice. "You would have been angry with me for something you provoked. You would have slapped me for my…familiarity."

At my accusation, she shakes her head. "Actually…nothing would have happened." She hesitates then adds, "Or everything, depending on how you look at it. I feel the same way you do, Kurama…I'm just not one hundred percent sure I'm ready." She grins again. "I do know, however, that the moment one of us loses control, it's all over. We're going down in flames."

What? Anna is struggling with this physical desire too? How could I not notice? I sit and try to process this as she clears the table. When she finishes washing the plates, she sits down and says, "I also know that the only reason you haven't noticed me trying to deal with it is that you're having more trouble. Your past…experiences are not directly linked to your worst memories." She slaps a hand on the table. "And that's all I'm going to say on the subject for now."

"Okay." Good. She's got me confused enough as it is. "I'm going into town today, Anna." I still need to get ready to leave. It's difficult to do something like pack when Anna is always around.

"I'll grab my coat."

"No, Anna, you can't come." Why do I feel so bad saying that? It's for her.

She doesn't look offended at least. Her face just shows complete disapproval. "That asinine surprise again?" she asks. If only she had an idea of what it is…I doubt she'd call it _asinine_.

But other than that, it's true. "Yes, Anna."

She scowls. "Fine."

She's not angry at least. Well, not angry at me for leaving. Angry about the surprise itself, maybe, but she'll get over it.

I walk to the door, grab my coat and keys and head down the mountain. As I drive, I think about what Anna said. That bastard Connor is still hurting her. While I'm in America I might have to…no. I might not be able to stop myself. And that piece of trash is not worth getting arrested for murder.

I pull into Shiori's driveway and walk to the door. I unlock it and head upstairs to my room. Once there, I pull out a suitcase and start packing the clothes I'll need.

I jump when Shiori screams at my door. I turn to see her with her hand to her heart. After a moment she says, "I didn't know you were here, Shuichi. Some warning next time, okay?" She sees the suitcase and asks, "What are you doing?"

"Packing."

"I can see that. Where are you going? And why?" Shiori always did know which questions to ask when she wanted the full story.

"I'm going to America to meet Jake." The less I say, the less likely it is Anna will find out.

"Jake? Anna's brother?" she asks. I nod. "Okay, Shuichi, what's going on? I want the whole story."

Of course she does. "I'll tell you if you swear you'll tell no one. It's a surprise."

Shiori hesitates; she doesn't like swearing secrecy. But then she says, "Fine."

"First, I promised Anna on Christmas to either take her to see Jake or bring Jake to see her before next Christmas. So I'm bringing him with me when I come home," I explain. "Second…I'm going rather…traditional. I'm asking Jake for permission before I propose."

Shiori's eyes go wide, then she falls to the ground next to me. After throwing her arms around me, she pulls back and says, "Are you sure? You've only been dating a few months."

"We've loved each other longer. Anna just wouldn't admit it."

She smiles. "Okay. I can see it makes you happy. When you said you were going to marry her, I didn't realize you meant so soon."

I smile back. "Neither did I." She laughs.

_An hour later…_

I stand awkwardly in the shop, waiting for someone to help me. I really have no idea what I'm doing. None at all. A man comes up to me and asks, "Can I help you? You look lost."

"I am. I have no idea what I'm doing," I admit. "I need an engagement ring."

He looks at me suspiciously through his glasses, straightening his graying hair with his fingers. "How old are you?" he asks.

Older than you. "Twenty," I answer.

He shakes his head. He thinks I'm too young to know what love is. He should get over it. "Budget?" he asks.

"Can we talk style first?" I ask. "I want something simple."

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend, son," the man warns. "They like flair."

"Not Anna." Not Anna. Then I add, "And the only reason you're pushing something more ostentatious is your commission. Now I would like to see some simple rings, and if you don't show them to me, I will go somewhere else entirely."

He scowls a moment, then forces a smile onto his face. "Very well. Silver or gold?" Good. He's gotten the picture. He is working for me, not the other way around.

But silver or gold? "Silver…" I reply. Something tells me Anna would prefer silver, less cliché. Knowing Anna's unpredictability, though, I could be way off. Nothing gaudy. That's not Anna. Anna is all about being either practical or unpredictable. Things must have a definitive purpose or no purpose at all. Something being there simply for show doesn't seem to be a quality reason for her. As he leads me to the silver section, I say, "A band, nothing more. No jewels."

He casts me yet another disapproving glance. He thinks I'm being stingy, and it's hurting his sale. Good. "I have only one style." He shows it to me.

It's exactly what I asked for. So unremarkable that it looks like it shouldn't belong in this store. "Perfect," I tell him. None of the jewelry in this store could possibly compete with how beautiful and interesting Anna herself is. This, on the other hand, does not try to compete. Its simplicity will emphasize rather than distract.

"What size?" he asks.

"What sizes do you have here?" I ask. "I need it as soon as possible."

"She pregnant?" he asks. Every second his disapproval grows, and every second I like him less than the second before. "That why you're in such a hurry?"

"No," I answer coldly, "not that it's any of your business."

"I have a three, a five, a six and a ten."

That means absolutely nothing to me. "Can you show me the sizes? I'm not sure."

He sighs but leads me to the front counter where he pulls out a device I'm assuming is used to size fingers. I do my best to visualize Anna's hands as I adjust the tool. "The six," I finally say. The five or the six would fit best, but I might be wrong.

After paying, I sit in the car a while, staring at the ring in my hand. Oh my god. This is real. I'm actually going to go through with this.

This is real.

* * *

Well, I only own Anna. Now for reviews. Oh, no longer posting in real time, btw.

DarlingAngelthewriter: NEW REVIEWER! *tackles* okay, now that my ridiculous excitement is out of the way, thanks for the advice, and I'll try to keep that in mind. It's just one of those stylistic (is that even a word?) things, you know? I feel like I overuse words like 'said' and 'replied' and 'responded' and 'asked.' I don't know. And, this is just me, but when it's a train of thought story, like this one, I feel like they should be used less. There was something else...oh, yes. Sometimes, I do that intentionally because I want to intentionally make it unclear who is speaking since both speakers in a dialogue feel the same way. Well, I hope that at least makes it understandable why I write it like that. Hope it doesn't sound like I'm making excuses (cause that's what I feel like I'm doing, even if it's unintentional...)

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Haha. Yeah, not so perfect is a good way of putting it. Kurama always seemed to me like this perfect-on-the-surface-not-so-much-when-you-really-get-to-know-him kind of a guy. The main reason he's OOC is that he isn't doing quite as well with the hiding of his emotions...ah well, such is life.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Glad you liked it. That is probably my second favorite chapter. :)

Insanity4Apples: Shocked more than shy, I think. ;)

Aya Ayame: Yep...the next few chapters are...ugh. I don't want to give anything away! But they're some of the most important in the story...

canopyskyandblanketseas: In all honesty...I'm surprised Hiei hasn't come up more often. I'm not _trying_ to leave him out (he's my favorite character; I would never do that!), but he doesn't seem to quite fit into any of the situations that are super important...OH! I just realized! I knew there was something I was forgetting. I have another chapter that Hiei was going to be in, and I left him out...stupid, stupid, stupid! So many comments he could make! Thanks for reminding me. :D

wolvesrain17: hahaha. I can't be too picky. I'm lucky to find one that _fits_.

Angel of Randomosity: You really think _anyone_ can control Anna? Anyway, it makes me super happy that you seem to like Jake that much. :) What else...there was something else...oh yes. the soda scene was inspired by a true story. I was at bell choir rehearsal and one of my friends had a diet coke in the sanctuary. Now, we're not supposed to have any kind of drink in the sanctuary. Someone made her laugh while she was taking a drink, and foam came out her nose and mouth and soda went all over the floor. It was hysterical.


	64. Sixty Three

**I'll Be Better When I'm Older**

**Anna POV**

I get a glass of water and sit next to Shizuru in the main room. She closes her computer and looks at me. "What is it this time, Anna?"

"I was just wondering…everyone will probably come over tonight…if Kurama and I go to bed early, will they notice?" I ask. I've been thinking about it since this morning, and…I want this more than I'm afraid. A lot more. For multiple reasons.

"How early and which people?" she asks. "Both are directly related to sobriety and how well they notice changes in their environment."

"I don't know…before midnight, I guess." Then I add, "Who doesn't really matter."

Shizuru nods. "Chu and Atsuko will be drunk out of their minds by eleven, as will some of the others. Yusuke and Kuwabara…eh, they're unpredictable. But slipping something that big past a sober Keiko and Botan—not going to happen. Or by Hiei for that matter, not that he'll care."

I nod. "Well…if anyone notices, will you keep them away from our room?"

"Why are you telling me, Anna?" she asks, staring at me. "Why not wait until tomorrow night, when no one will be here?"

"If I wait…I'll lose my nerve," I mutter. "And…I feel like, the way he's been acting lately…if I don't make the first move, he will, and he'll hate himself for it. I'm telling you because you basically know everything that goes on around here, and it would take you all of two seconds to figure it out anyway. I get the feeling you knew what I wanted to say before you asked."

She smiles. "I had an idea," she admits. "Does Kurama know about this yet?"

"That I want him, yes. But tonight…he's not in on that bit yet."

Shizuru laughs. "The money I would not pay to see his face." She nods and reopens her computer. "I'll keep them away from your room if it costs them their lives."

"Thanks, Shizuru."

_That evening…_

**Kurama POV**

I put my hand in my pocket. The case is still there, the ring still inside. Anna has been bouncing around the room for the last hour, talking to everyone. Well, not bouncing. But she's been moving almost constantly.

She must be in a really good mood. Normally she just sits over here with me and Hiei, but occasionally she gets involved in the gossip and joking.

All of a sudden she appears in front of me. Grabbing my hand, she pulls me up. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I ask, looking down at her.

She wraps her arms around my neck. "You'll see." Then she pulls my head down and kisses me. Before I know it, I'm kissing back. My hands are suddenly under her shirt, touching the skin on the small of her back.

I pull away and whisper, "Are you drunk?" She shouldn't be letting me get away with that. I won't be able to stop myself. But she did say…just stop, Kurama.

"No, Kurama," she answers. "All I've had to drink tonight is soda, no alcohol." She kisses me again. "Are you coming or not?"

I nod, and she leads me down the hall to…our room. She lets me go in first. I glance around. Nothing's different. What's going on—wait. The door clicks shut, and I turn around in time to see Anna lock the door. "Anna, what are we doing?"

She walks over and stands on her toes to kiss me. "What do you think we're doing, Kurama? Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"Anna, I'm getting very mixed signals right now." Only this morning she said she wasn't ready, didn't she? Neither of us turned on the light, and I can feel her body next to mine. Oh, if she doesn't stop—

"I get the feeling that you only think the signals are mixed," she whispers. Suddenly she jumps and turns sideways, wrapping her arms around my neck again. I instinctively catch her, now holding her bridal style. "Are you trying to make this difficult, Kurama? I thought you wanted this."

She kisses my forehead as I stutter, "No—yes—I mean I do but not like this." I let her go gently. "I don't want to pressure you…I don't want you to do something you'll regret and have you resent me for it."

**Anna POV**

I shake my head. Good grief, he has a lot of self-control. I kiss him again, and his hands tighten around my back. Not much longer now. I grin. "You have never once pressured me, Kurama. I love you. My love is what's driving me to this." I kiss him, and his hands slip under my shirt. "Hard to regret something you want to the core of your being, Kurama."

"Anna, I—" he starts.

I put my finger to his lips. "What issue do you have with this, Kurama? Don't you want to give me what I want? Especially since you want it just as much as I do?" My hands drop and unbutton the top button of his shirt.

And his hands suddenly travel up my shirt and find the clasp of my bra. "I love you, Kurama," I whisper. "So much."

"I love you too, Anna." He kisses me. The intensity, the burning I felt when we were both drunk is back, full force. But the genuine love behind it makes it even stronger.

As I continue to undo his shirt, he unhooks my bra, and I'm forced to stop a moment as he pulls my shirt off. Damn, I was right. Once he lost control, it was all over.

He continues to kiss me as I drag him onto the bed.

* * *

Okay, so I lied. I thought the questionable chapter was 64, but it's actually this one. It's not too bad, though. Anyway, everyone will live, right? I only own Anna and on to the reviews!

animegrlsteph: I love what happens when he's trying to propose...

canopyskyandblanketseas: Haha. Yes, I miss Jake too. Hope this chapter was as good as the last.

Angel of Randomosity: Nope, no turning back. No matter how much physical pain may result from that. :)

DarlingAngelthewriter: Hahaha. I've been trying to predict what Anna will do next since the beginning of this story. I still haven't figured her out, and we're to chapter sixty three (such a big number!).

Insanity4Apples: Yep, he got the ring. :D

Sarcastic Nightmare: I hate it when salespeople do that too...Sometimes I'm tempted to tell them that the first person to leave me alone will get the commission...


	65. Sixty Four

**I'll Be the Greatest Fan of Your Life**

_The next morning…_

**Kurama POV**

I wake up to find Anna's head resting on my chest and my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

I rub her shoulder with my hand. Perhaps last night wasn't such a good idea. But…Anna initiated it. She has no reason to be mad at me at the very least.

I carefully slide her head off my chest and onto her pillow. I crawl out of bed and dress as quietly as I can. I grab the ring from the jacket laying on the ground and pick our clothes up. I'm thinking more and more that last night was really, really stupid. Especially now. I look at her, sleeping so quietly. I still haven't told her I'm leaving for a few days. And I have to leave…I glance at the clock. Now. But I don't want her to wake her.

I'll just tell Shizuru. I lean over, kiss her forehead and say, "Goodbye, Anna. I'll be back soon, I promise. I love you." She doesn't wake up as I tuck the blanket around her arms, covering her bare shoulders.

As I ease the door shut on my way out, Shizuru walks by me. I grab her arm. "I'm leaving, Shizuru, just for a few days."

She looks at me seriously. "Why?"

"You know how I promised to bring Jake here before Christmas?" I ask. Shizuru nods. "I'm making good that promise. But don't tell Anna that's what I'm doing. I want it to be a surprise."

Shizuru nods. "I can do that. See you."

_An hour later…_

**Anna POV**

I dress and go to the kitchen. "Where's Kurama?" I ask when I don't see him.

Keiko shrugs, but Shizuru says, "He left about an hour ago."

"Left?" Why would he leave? No. Not again. No. Not Kurama. What is wrong with me? I slowly sit down.

Shizuru looks at me, her eyes worried. "Anna? You okay?"

"He's gone?" I whisper. How can he be gone?

"Yeah…he's going out of town for a few days," Shizuru says slowly. "Didn't he tell you?"

"No." My voice is so quiet I can hardly hear myself.

"Damn it, Kurama," she curses. "Are you really that stupid?"

_Three days later…_

**Kurama POV**

I pull the rental into a driveway next to a blue pickup. I'm pretty sure this is her house, if the directions I printed at the hotel were correct.

I get out, walk to the door and ring the bell. After a minute, a young man answers the door. He is a few centimeters taller than me, more visibly muscular with short dark hair and eyes that match Anna's. "Jake?" I ask.

He grins an says, "So you're the fox, then. Where's my sister?"

As he leads me inside, I reply, "Japan."

He turns, and his eyes hold so much suspicion and worry it's alarming. He's as protective as I am as far as Anna's concerned. "You came without her?" he asks. "Why?"

How do I answer that? Well, he knew I'm a fox, which means Anna told him everything. "It's kind of…I grew up in a time when…" Just say it like it is, Kurama. "You're her closest male blood relative."

"So?" Okay, that means nothing to him I guess.

"I wanted your permission to ask Anna to marry me," I say.

Understanding lights in his eyes. Why is it I can read his reactions after only five minutes, but it's been a year, and I don't even have a baseline for Anna? He asks me, "You're asking me to give my sister away?"

I nod. "Yes."

He shakes his head and snorts. Is he saying no? That's not how this is supposed to go. But even as he shakes his head, he says, "That's up to Anna. If she wants to marry you, she can marry you. I could stop hellfire easier'n I could stop Anna. Just…" Suddenly he trails off.

And he's also suddenly more serious than I've seen him. "Just what?" I ask.

"Just I may not be able to stop her, but I will fight you two getting married if she's not singing." Singing…yes, she's singing, but how is it important?

"What do you mean?"

He sighs, staring at a point behind me, trying to find the words. Finally he answers, "Our dad would go around singing." Anna mentioned that. "Anna would too, but she never realized she was singing. Don't lie to me, Kurama. Is she singing again?"

"Yes," I say truthfully. "But why is it so important?"

A look of disgust crosses his face. "She stopped singing after Connor." Suddenly his face just looks sad. "I haven't heard her sing since. The drugs, part of it was the fact that I was young and stupid. The other part was I thought they might help me escape the silence. They didn't, but I was addicted by the time I realized that." He smiles. "As long as she's singing, you can marry her with no objection from me. You can even have my—I feel so weird saying this, but you're the one asking for permission—you can have my blessing." I laugh, then he adds, "But…"

Some kind of protective threat is coming, I can feel it. "But?"

"If she ever stops singing because of you, it had better be because you're dead, understand?" He threatens, "If you're not dead, I will rip out your entrails piece by piece, burn them and feed the crisps to the crows in my backyard."

Anna will always have someone to protect her. Good. "Thanks, Jake," I say.

He chuckles and nods. "After that comment, I'm not too worried you'll hurt her on purpose, but the promise still stands. Now…can you tell me about my sister?"

"Huh?" I ask.

"My sister, my Anna, hasn't been seen since that bastard broke her heart. Somehow, though, you found her. You brought my Anna back from the dead."

I smile. "That's the other thing I came to talk to you about. I need your help giving Anna her Christmas present."

He raises his eyebrows. "Christmas?"

"For Christmas I promised to either bring her to you or bring you to her. I came here alone," I explain. I pull out my return tickets. "But I have two tickets back. I was hoping you'd take one of them."

His eyes flicker across my face, then his voice is a whisper. "Seriously?"

I nod. "The only condition is this: I intend to propose as soon as we get there. You can't see her until after she's given me an answer. I don't want her to say yes just because I brought her big brother halfway around the world."

"I can still see her if she says no?" he asks.

I nod as we both stand. "Of course."

He sticks his hand out, and I reach out to shake it. But then he pulls me into a hug. "You make Anna as happy as I've ever seen her," he says. "And between you and me, based on how she talked about you, the way she looked at your picture, things she's said in emails…the likelihood that she'll say no is about one in ten million."

* * *

Well...reenter: JAKE! YAY! Moving on... I only own Jake & Anna. On to reviews :)

animegrlsteph: yeah...except I'm not sure finally is quite the right word, since they've only been dating, what, four months?

Angel of Randomosity: I'M SORRY! Cliffys are my favorites. :) It's actually kind of a miracle that there haven't been more of them this story. Some of my stories, every single chapter ends in a cliffy...

Insanity4Apples: hahahaha. okay, here's your chapter, sorry if it wasn't what you were looking for. :) We'll just leave everything to Ricky's imagination, shall we?

wolvesrain17: Uh-huh. I have yet to learn how to predict what Anna will do next... for that reason, I pity Kurama.

DarlingAngelthewriter: Nope, no more, sorry. I'll just leave it ALL to your imagination...

Sarcastic Nightmare: Basic synopsis of the rest of the story: they continue being just as stupid as they've been from the beginning. What am I going to do with them?


	66. Sixty Five

**I Dropped Out, I Burned Up**

_The next day…_

**Kurama POV**

"You ready to go already?" I ask when Jake appears at the door to Anna's room. It felt weird to stay in here. The room is somehow both very much Anna's and not hers at all. The room is filled with things I can see Anna using as a much younger, much less jaded person.

The main thing that draws my interest is the bookshelf. It is packed full of books. Most of them seem to be on people's experiences with the supernatural, the demons and the ghosts. Jake sees me looking at them. "She always believed. She never once claimed to have a sixth sense, to be able to sense ghosts or anything, but I knew. How strong is her sense, Kurama?" he asks.

"All I know is that she can feel the difference between the human energy my body emits and the demonic energy my spirit emits." I had never really thought about the difference between the two until I met Anna. I sigh and smile. "She really hated me at first. She didn't trust me, said I was one of the Pretenders."

"Pretenders?"

"People who pretend to care." I hesitate then add, "Jake, my tickets are for a plane that departs from New York. We have time to make a little detour on the way there, if we leave now."

"Detour?"

"I have a few choice words to say to Connor."

"I'll try to keep you from killing him."

"Somehow," I reply, "I don't think that will be necessary. Anna said he was the second best thing that ever happened to her."

"How could she possibly say that?" Jake hisses as we walk out the door.

"She told me that she would have been able to handle your drug usage if her heart hadn't been broken, and I believe it. Especially since you might not have been on drugs at all if her heart hadn't been broken. But her running away eventually led her to Japan and what she says is the best thing that ever happened. At first I thought she just meant leaving the country, but now…" Now I'm wondering if she meant me. But I can't say that out loud. It's far too self-centered. I'm not so arrogant anymore.

Jake nods. "You are what she meant by that, Kurama. I know it. So you intend to spare his life because without him you wouldn't have met Anna?" I nod, and he replies, "Crazy, but whatever works to keep murder off the table. And I'll be there to stop you if worst comes to worst."

If worst comes to worst there are very few people who would be capable of stopping me, and Jake Matthews is not one of them.

_That night…_

"Kurama," Jake says. I turn the radio down. "You said something about emitting energy. What did you mean?" I guess he doesn't share his sister's sense. Which suggests it doesn't really run in the family. Which means Anna bewilders me even more.

"Well, everyone emits something called aura. It's your spiritual energy," I explain. "It's that force that people with a sixth sense can detect."

"That's it?" he asks. "But that seems so…simple. What about your plants?"

Heh. Anna really did tell him everything. "Well, my plants goes into the idea of controlling your aura, using that spiritual force that is unique as a fingerprint to affect the physical environment. That is more difficult than sensing the aura itself."

"Can Anna…?" He trails off.

I sigh. I still haven't figured that one out. "Anna…I don't think she can. But when she really wants something or really needs something, her energy helps her out. This kind of unconscious control is something I've never seen before. Unless she's lying to me—"

Jake cuts me off. "Anna doesn't lie. She doesn't tell the whole truth, she'll even admit she's not telling the whole story, but I don't recall ever hearing her tell an outright lie."

She lied when she said she didn't love me, that she couldn't love me. But she was trying to protect me…so I guess we can ignore that one. I nod. "Okay. Well…I don't really understand Anna. Demons are classified by power, D being the least powerful and moving up to A. I won't confuse you with the issue of S-class."

"What are you?"

"A."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him smile. "Good. More than capable of taking care of my sister."

"That's the thing," I reply. "She doesn't need it. I said when she wants or needs something, her energy helps her achieve it. That extends to protection, evasion, avoidance, you name it. And even though she can't control it consciously, her spirit is so strong that, when she wants something badly enough, her aura can be stronger than mine."

"You serious?" he asks. I nod. "Damn. Only Anna could manage to have that much…aura while having no idea how to control it. This exit." As I pull off the highway, he adds, "Could she be taught?"

"Yes, but god forbid that happen," I answer. Actually, that might not be a bad idea. Even more protection. Except… "Your sister doesn't have the best track record as far as controlling her temper goes."

He laughs. "You're telling me. I grew up with it. Of course, it wasn't that bad until after Dad died. But don't say _your sister_ like that. You're the one who wants to marry her."

I look at him as I pull into the parking lot of an apartment complex. "Very good point."

I reach for the handle of the door, but then Jake asks, "How much did she tell you about Connor, Kurama?"

"Not much," I admit. "But I've pieced it together, more or less. I want to make him regret ever going near Anna." His life is simply the very subtle thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet her.

We ask the manager for the apartment number, and then head up two flights of stairs. At the top of the second flight, I say, "I don't think I'll have any trouble not killing him, but if I do…any evidence will so thoroughly bewilder the police…"

"I understand. I'm here to try and talk you out of anything completely stupid." His voice is louder than normal, raised to be heard over the music pouring from inside the apartment.

I knock loudly and answer Jake, "Exactly."

A boy answers the door. I would bet almost anything this is Connor. Based only on the facts that he's roughly my age and has a teenage girl of about sixteen hanging off his arm.

Jake glances at him before saying to me, "I guess he worked hard to bulk up after getting beat up by a girl. I doubt she could take him now." I look at him. That's probably true. I'd have no problem, and I doubt Jake would have a problem, but someone Anna's size wouldn't stand a chance.

"Jake," he spits. "It's been a while. Who's your friend? Aw, hell, it doesn't matter. Neither of you were invited."

He starts to slam the door, but I throw out an arm and stop the door's movement. "Too bad. We're crashing." I walk in, forcing my way past him. "On second thought, we're ending this." More loudly, I say, "Everyone out!"

I get a couple of stares, but no one leaves. I inhale. Well, there are so many drugs here it's doubtful any of them will believe it actually happened. Except Connor. I will make sure he believes. I want him as miserable as possible without actually being dead. I walk to the stereo. With a loud cracking, the music stops and the stereo splits open, engulfed by vines forcing their way from the inside. Everyone turns to look, and I take my fox form. "I said out." I turn to Connor. "Except you. I need to speak with you."

The room clears in an instant. "Who the hell are you?" Connor asks.

Remain calm, Kurama. It frightens them more when they can't visibly enrage you. "You can call me Kurama," I answer. No need to draw Shuichi into this if he decides to file a report. "Anna is my girlfriend." Hopefully fiancée soon.

"What is with her, damn it?" he asks. Facing Jake he says, "You beat me to a bloody pulp, then she came after me herself, and now this joker? What's she going to do next, sic Toto on me?" Toto?

Jake evidently gets the reference because he says, "Maybe, if there's anything left for her to sic Toto on. I'm supposed to keep Kurama from murdering you, but right now you're making it rather difficult for me to see any advantages to that." Well, at least I won't have to worry about unintentionally harming Jake if I do lose my temper. He obviously has no intention of getting in my way.

Connor faces me. Eventually he says, "No way this freak could hurt me. He looks like a cat."

"Fox," I instinctively correct. "A fox with twelve hundred years of violence backing it. Now listen carefully," I threaten, my vines writhing at my sides. "I could kill you without moving from this spot, understand?"

"Yeah, right," he mutters. "Prove it."

My vines whip out and knock him to the ground, pinning him there. I see him wince as the two of them dig painfully into his wrists. I continue, "If you ever go near another underage girl again, I will know." Lie. "If I ever discover you've done so, I will kill you on behalf of Anna and all the other girls you have hurt." True but unlikely. "If I kill you, there will be no evidence linking the crime to me." True.

I pull out my rose whip and brandish it. "What are you doing, Kurama?" Jake asks, as Connor's eyes fill with fear.

"Just making sure that when he's sober he knows that this was not a dream or a hallucination. I won't let it hurt for too long." I flick my wrist, and the whip severs the smallest finger of his left hand. He screams. I pull a salve from my shirt and apply it, watching as it urges the cells to form scar tissue faster than they ever could on their own. I stand, and the vines release him. I look down and say, "Be careful with that hand. It'll be a bit tender for a few days."

I turn and walk out. At the top of the stairs I switch back to Shuichi. "Think I scared him sufficiently?"

"Oh yeah," Jake replies, shaking his head. "He was always a coward. Probably why he goes after young girls."

After a long silence, as I'm entering the highway, Jake asks, awkwardly, "Kurama…don't take this the wrong way…I just don't want Anna to get hurt…but after Connor…are you two sleeping together yet?"

How do I answer that question? "Well…in the very literal sense of those words, we have been almost since we started dating."

"I'm serious, Kurama."

I sigh. "I don't know how to answer that question, Jake. I don't want to lie, since Anna trusts and loves you so completely. I want to show you the respect you deserve for being so important to Anna. But at the same time, can I really give you the answer you want?" The way men guard the…virtue of their daughters, wives, sisters, even now… "How am I supposed to answer that, Jake?" He's probably figured it out by now, and he doesn't look angry.

In fact, he nods. "I understand. And, well, Anna's an adult and very much her own person. She can make her own decisions, and I'm not in any position to lecture her on decision-making skills." Where is this going? Is he lecturing me instead? Since he knows I'm more likely to listen, since we have a common goal of protecting Anna? "But whenever you two sleep together, if you haven't already, make sure she knows you don't intend to leave." Oh crap. I left.

"Damn it," I curse. I _knew_ there was a reason to wake her up. "Damn it, how could I be so _stupid_?"

"Kurama," he asks, voice threatening, "What did you do?"

"Something really, undeniably, unbelievably stupid," I answer, hitting the gas, as though arriving at the airport faster will make the plane leave sooner. "Just pray that Anna listens to Shizuru more than I did."

* * *

Well, there's that chapter. I own Anna and Jake. :) Now, on a side note, I'm finding it interesting that everyone seems to like Jake so much. I mean, I absolutely adore Jake, but I wasn't expecting such a strong reader response as far as he's concerned. Interesting. Now, reviews.

lostmoonchild: haha that's funny. In some part of my subconscious (sp) mind, I think Jake is a combination of two of my closest guy friends (I do not have a brother to base him off of, younger or older.)

Slimjim314yo: hmmm...I feel like I've admitted Kurama is OOC many different times...maybe all of those were in individual review responses...ah well. I am aware that Kurama is OOC, and I am completely aware that Anna has a frustrating tendency to act like a madwoman (but that's what makes her fun to write!). Thanks for the review!

SolitaryNyght: Glad you caught those eyes. ;)

Sarcastic Nightmare: Well...You'll have to wait one more chapter. Sorry. This chapter was begging to be written and this was the only logical place for it.

animegrlsteph: too bad for connor they had some time to kill.

Insanity4Apples: Hahaha. WAIT! When did I ever say Jake's cute? That opinion doesn't come up until LATER!

Angel of Randomosity: About those cliffies...

DarlingAngelthewriter: Please note the odds Jake gave Kurama. ;)

canopyskyandblanketseas: I prefer the 'feeding the crows' line. I'm more into the step-and-stab style of the roman military than I am the chivalric-romances of the middle ages (did that comparison make any sense at all, or do I just need to go to bed?).

Thanks to PiNkBuN17 for the first few reviews. :)


	67. Sixty Six

**I Fought My Way Back From the Dead**

_Two days later…_

**Kurama POV**

I pull into the drive and jump out of the car. I hurtle toward the temple, leaving Jake behind. He can figure the temple's floor plan out on his own, I don't care. It's not that difficult. And it's not like he's actually talking to me, but I don't care about that either. All that matters is that Anna knows I don't intend to leave her.

How in hell could I do something so stupid? How could I go a millennium and never miss a single detail but turn around and possibly ruin something this important? You're an idiot, Kurama, a complete moron. If she says no, you'll deserve it completely.

Where is she most likely to be? She's not in the main room. The kitchen. If she's not there, I'll check our room.

I run into the kitchen. Shizuru and Botan are sitting there alone, talking in hushed voices. I don't think I've ever heard Botan speak that quietly. Oh dear god, please don't let Anna have done anything stupid. Not because of me.

Shizuru sees me and flies out of her chair. Before I have a chance to say anything, she slaps me. Hard. I stagger backward. Then she says, "You may have been my friend longer, Kurama, but now Anna's my friend too, you understand? Now tell me—why didn't you tell her you were going out of town?"

"It was the most stupid thing I could have done," I reply hurriedly. Oh, I just need to get this conversation over with, so I can find Anna. I need to talk to her as soon as possible.

"You think?" she snaps.

"I see that now. I was planning on telling her the night before I left but then…" Does Shizuru know? Probably. But if she doesn't, I don't want to say anything.

"So why didn't you tell her _in the morning_?" she demands, taking a step toward me. I take a step back. I may not have the body language women use completely figured out, but that is definitely a threat.

"Anna is so peaceful when she's asleep," I explain quickly. "I didn't want to wake her, and I didn't think about how she would associate my leaving with that bastard." I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, not thinking. "Now I just want to make it all right."

Botan comes up behind Shizuru. "And how are you planning on doing that, Kurama?" she asks. It doesn't sound like Botan at all. Not cheerful and bubbly but worried and almost angry. "A kiss and an apology aren't going to cut it this time, Kurama."

"I know, I know." I pull the ring out of my pocket. "You think this will?"

Shizuru shakes her head. "Anna's not much of a jewelry person, Kurama, you know that. Neither is she one to be bribed, especially in matters of the heart."

"I know that," I reply nodding. I flip it open. "That's why I went so simple. This isn't an apology ring."

"What is it then?" Shizuru demands, then her eyes widen. "An engagement ring?" I nod. She purses her lips and says, "If anything can make her forgive you, that's it, I'll give you that one."

"Okay, now where is she?" I ask. "I need to ask her as soon as possible." I need to apologize as soon as possible.

"Good luck finding her," Shizuru mutters, sitting back down. "She went into the forest a few days ago."

The forest. Damn it. She must be _really_ upset. Oh, this is not good, this is _not_ good. I sit down at the table and put my hands to my head. "What do I do?"

"Not much you can do," Shizuru sighs. "Except wait for her to come back. Speaking of coming back, I thought you were bringing Jake. You seemed confident he'd come back with you. Where is he?"

"Right here," Jake says from the doorway. "What do you mean she went into the forest?" His Japanese comes slowly, but who knows how long it's been since he last used it. My English probably sounded slow to him when we were speaking to each other.

"When she gets upset, she goes to the forest," Shizuru explains, eyeing Jake.

"Figures," he mutters. Then he asks Shizuru, "Where should I put my stuff?"

"Kurama, can you help him?" Shizuru asks.

Jake scowls, and I sigh. "When he found out how stupid I was…he's almost as mad at me as Anna is. I'm lucky he hasn't murdered me. And you know which rooms are available better than I do, Shizuru."

She sighs and says, "Come on. You can have the second room Anna stayed in." The second. To stick him in the first would be…twisted.

About a minute after they leave, the glass doors to the porch fly open, and Anna swoops past, grabbing an empty trash bag as she goes by. She is gone before I really register that it's her. She's back, and she's alive. Thank god.

I follow her in time to see our door swing shut. I go over to it. I test the handle. No surprises there. It's locked. Well, with her aura at least. She is really angry. "Anna," I say to the door. "Anna, will you please let me in?"

"Go away, Kurama."

"Anna, I'm sorry I left. Please. I just want to talk."

"I said go away," she shouts. I hear a lot of movement. What is she doing?

Shizuru appears, Jake at her side. Botan comes up behind me. I ask Jake quietly, "No matter how angry she is with me, will you honor our agreement?"

He hesitates then nods. Shizuru and Botan ignore us and approach the door.

**Anna POV**

There is another knock at my door. Why can't he just give up? This is hard enough as it is. "Go away, damn it," I shout, throwing my clothes into the trash bag.

"It's me, Anna," Shizuru says. "And Botan."

Oh. "It's unlocked."

She turns the knob, and they walk in, closing the door behind them. "What are you doing, Anna?" Botan asks, seeing the trash bag.

"I'm leaving." I tie the top of the bag into a knot and offer it to Shizuru. "Here. Sell them, trash them, give them away, I don't care. I won't need them."

"Where are you going?" Shizuru asks, not taking the bag.

I drop it. "The forest. I figure it'll be easier on him if he doesn't have to face what he did every time he looks in the closet."

"Anna, he loves you," they object at the same time.

If he really loved me he wouldn't have left without telling me first. At least not then. I still love him, damn it. "No, he doesn't. I was a moron to believe him when he said he did. And then I gave him what he wanted. That's all any of them wants. If I never see another man, it will be too soon."

Shizuru sighs. "Fine. I'll talk to him for a minute, see what he has to say for himself. Botan, let's go."

**Kurama POV**

Shizuru and Botan emerge from the room, Shizuru coming out slap first. I rub my jaw. "What was that for? You already got me once."

"She just finished _packing_, damn it," Shizuru curses at me.

"Packing?" I whisper.

"More accurately _bagging_," Shizuru snaps. "She's going back to the forest with no intention of coming back. Ever."

I push past her toward the door and once again try to open it. "She won't let me in," I say. "I just want to sort all this out."

Shizuru tests the door. Evidently it's locked her out too. "Anna," she calls, "Let me in." She hisses to me, "The moment she says I can come in, go in. Her aura block will be down."

"Whatever," Anna answers.

Shizuru swings the door open and pushes me inside, pulling it shut after me. Anna glances up. Seeing that it's me rather than Shizuru, she doesn't look surprised. She just hisses, "Get out, Kurama. I have nothing to say to you."

I take a few steps toward her. "Anna, I'm _sorry_ I didn't think things through. I was going to tell you, but—"

She steps toward me in the same threatening movement Shizuru used earlier. "But what, Kurama? You got what you wanted. Can't you just leave me and my stupidity in peace?"

"You're not stupid," I object. "I was stupid. I didn't think how you would interpret it. And I can't blame you for that."

"No, you can't," she snaps, shoving me backward. "I _trusted_ you, Kurama. And then you used me."

"No—"

"And now you come back, thinking you can apologize and have me continue making the same mistake."

I grab her hand. "No, Anna. I'm really sorry. Genuinely, truly sorry."

"Don't touch me," she snaps, pulling her hand away.

I grab it again. "Anna, I—"

"I told you not to touch me," she snaps. Then she uses her left hand to slap me. How many times am I going to get slapped before I have a chance to propose? She sits down on the bed. "You've gotten what you wanted, Kurama. If you care about me at all, if you ever cared about me, leave." Gotten what I wanted? No. Never. She thinks so little of me because I left? Why didn't I think of what that bastard did? She whispers, "Just leave."

* * *

I did not have a chance to edit this one, so sorry if there are a bunch of mistakes. :) Now for the million reviews. This could take a while...

DarlingAngelthewriter: I know, right?

animegrlsteph: haha me too. connor deserved that, i think.

kuramasredredrose: you would think...

Insanity4Apples: Crystal may be a psychic and Ricky may be an emo, but I, for one, am just confused...

Slimjim314yo: Glad you liked it. I wasn't going to include that chapter, but then a bunch of people seemed like they wanted it. As for the voice...I try. :)

Sarcastic Nightmare: Anna not freak out too terribly? Uh-huh... good luck with getting that one to happen.

Aya Ayame: thanks for the review. :D

Angel of Randomosity: *hides face and runs from room in shame* I'M SORRY!

lostmoonchild: thanks, I'm happy to hear it's still enjoyable. :)


	68. Sixty Seven

**I Tuned In, I Turned On**

**Kurama POV**

Maybe the best way to get her to stop being angry is to do as she asks. I reach the door. No. I turn around and walk back to Anna. If I leave, she'll leave. I can't let that happen.

I grab her hand again, pulling it away from her face. She's crying. Why'd I do this to her? How could I have done something so stupid and unkind? I reach up and wipe the tears from her eyes. She turns away from me slightly, pulling her hand back.

I take it yet again. "No, Kurama," she objects. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Anna, how many times will I have to apologize to get you to believe that I really am sorry?"

She turns her back on me completely and crosses her arms. "I don't know. Keep trying. I might let you know when you get there. If you get there."

"I'm so, so, _so_ sorry, Anna," I say. "I didn't know how to tell you, so I was procrastinating. I was going to tell you the night before I left, but I got distracted."

"So you're blaming me?" she asks. "How typical. Why didn't you just tell me in the morning?" She still won't look at me.

"You are so beautiful and peaceful when you're asleep."

"Don't you dare try flattery."

"I'm not. I just couldn't bring myself to wake you."

"Stop trying to make excuses."

She's right. Excuses. That's all I'm doing. "You're right. You're right. Will you please look at me?"

She doesn't turn around. "No."

"I'm sorry, Anna. I had to go out of town for your surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"You won't hate this one," I promise.

"Prove it."

"I can't." Not until she's given me an answer.

She spins to face me. "Why not?" she demands.

"I need you to answer a question first."

She glares. "Fine." Well, at least she's talking to me and looking at me again.

I take her right hand with my left, and I hold onto it when she tries to pull away. With my right hand I reach into my pocket. As I pull out the case, I take a knee before her. I flip the case open. Anna's eyes are suddenly surprised, no longer angry. She just stares at the ring, eyes wide. She finally looks up at me, and I say, "Anna, will you please, please, _please_ let me give you a last name? Mine?"

She stares at the case again. Then she starts crying. No. Why is she crying? She's not supposed to cry. "Anna?" I ask, sliding onto the bed to sit next to her. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"You…you…" she cries quietly, "You really were sorry. You really aren't planning on leaving, and I accused you of…oh, Kurama, I'm so sorry!"

She turns toward me and buries her head in my shoulder. "Shhh," I say, hugging her. "Shhh. I'm right here. It's okay. It wasn't you're fault. I should have told you I was leaving."

She pulls back. "Where did you go?"

I shake my head. "I can't tell you that." She glares. "Not until you've answered my question."

The glare disappears, but she continues looking at me. "Why?"

"I don't want the surprise to influence your answer." If she says yes, I want it to be because she wants to marry me, not as a way of saying thank you.

"What do you think my answer is?" She stares up at me, eyes looking as innocent as ever and still completely unreadable.

"I'm hoping you'll say yes." I'll have a lifetime to learn the language her eyes speak.

She smiles, rather mischievously. "And if I say no?"

She's just playing with me now. That's a good sign. "I'll wait a month and propose again."

She laughs then hugs me. "No need. I love you, Kurama. Of course I'll marry you. All you had to do was ask."

"I just did."

She pulls away from me and smiles. "I know. And I said yes."

I kiss her. "I love you, Anna. Never forget that. I will always love you. And I will never leave again without telling you first."

"Thank you," she whispers in my ear, hugging me again.

* * *

I wasn't going to update today, but I decided to take pity on you after that horrible cliffie. As always, I only own Jake & Anna. Sorry this chapter isn't very long. Now onto the reviews!

wolvesrain17: Poor Kurama...I agree. As for cliff hangers, you've probably noticed that I, for one, love them. :)

animegrlsteph: Is that really Anna's personality though? To just let it all go without an explanation? She's mad enough...to just let him talk in this chapter was a stretch.

Insanity4Apples: Please note that he _almost_ did walk out (stupid, stupid, stupid idea!) I love the little conversations, btw. Ricky makes me laugh.

DarlingAngelthewriter: What's funny is that lots of people are like 'poor Anna.' 'Poor Kurama...kind of.' then here I am, sitting writing the story, thinking 'Why the hell are you both being such MORONS?' Yeah, I'm definitely with you on this one.

SolitaryNyght: I'm a terrible person for ending it on a cliffie that bad, I get it. But I adore cliffies. Something about them gives the chapter a good place to stop, since it definitively says that this isn't the end of the story.

Angel of Randomosity: Question: Is how I feel about Jake really that obvious? Because I definitely don't recall mentioning ANYTHING that would imply something happening between Jake and Shizuru. Don't remember that at all. But somehow, you still pegged an idea I've been wondering about. Hmmm... ARE YOU A MINDREADER?

Sarcastic Nightmare: As you can see, that's not what happened. But I could totally see him doing something like that. Something tells me that the only reason he didn't is the fact that he needs an answer from her before she sees Jake.

Kuramasredredrose: Well...slap 1 (shizuru): hurting Anna by not telling her the truth. slap 2 (shizuru): hurting Anna enough that she wants to leave and never see another human being again. slap 3 (Anna): she doesn't know that Shizuru has already slapped him twice, and she feels completely betrayed. Yeah...I'm pretty sure they were all necessary. Look on the bright side-she didn't slap him at all this chapter. :)


	69. Sixty Eight

**Remember the Thing That You Said**

**Anna POV**

Oh, how could I have been so mad at him? He'd never do anything he knew would hurt me, at least not on purpose. He pulls out of our hug and takes the ring from the box.

It's a simple little thing. The romantic that he is…I would have guessed he'd go for one of the big, gaudy rocks. I'm glad he didn't. This silver ring is much better. "I didn't think you'd want anything showy," Kurama explains, as if he's reading my mind. "And I felt like all the others would just be competing for attention."

"Competing with _what_?" Dare I ask.

"Your beauty," he answers. I sigh and shake my head. "Hopeless romantic, remember?" he reminds me, sliding the ring onto my finger.

We stare at it. This is so…wonderful. Fantastic. Amazing that this one little piece of metal could represent such a drastic change in my life. Just… "It's too big, Kurama."

He frowns. "We'll go get a smaller one later."

"No," I object. "This is the one you picked out. This is the one you proposed with. This is the one I'm keeping."

"But if it's too big—I don't want you to lose it," he says.

I slip it from my ring finger to my thumb. "Look," I answer. "It fits."

"So it does," he laughs.

"Now will you tell me where you went?" I ask.

He smiles. "I suppose. I guarantee you'll like this surprise." He shouts at the door, "Shizuru, could you bring Anna's Christmas present in?"

Christmas present? But for Christmas he promised—he didn't just leave town—did he leave—Jake?

**Kurama POV**

I watch her. The moment I say the word Christmas her face becomes a mask of shock. I smile as Shizuru and Jake enter the room, followed by Botan. "Happy Christmas, Anna," I say. She doesn't move. Her eyes flicker between me and Jake. "Anna?"

She doesn't reply. Then Shizuru says, "Kurama's closer, Anna. Jake will understand."

What? "What?" Jake asks.

Then Anna throws her arms around me. "Thank you so much, Kurama." Oh. I understand. She couldn't decide who to hug first.

Then she hurtles across the room where she is drawn into her brother's arms. I feel—her brother, Kurama. It's just her brother. I have to remind myself of that to stifle the irrational jealousy that flares inside me.

When Jake finally lets go of her, he takes her by the shoulder and holds her at arm's length. After a minute, he says, "So you're marrying that idiot, then."

"Yes," she says. Ah, I like hearing her say—wait. She just called me an idiot. Then she adds, defending me, "But he's not an idiot."

"He's marrying someone from the Matthews family," Jake answers. "He's either an idiot, or he's insane."

"Or both," Shizuru puts in.

Anna bursts out laughing. I walk up behind her, placing my hands on her hips. She tilts her head back. "Be careful not to get too familiar, Kurama," she warns, grinning. "My big brother's here to protect my honor, now, remember that."

"We already had a little talk about that, Anna," Jake says. "Don't worry."

Hearing that we've discussed her…honor behind her back, Anna turns slightly pink. "You," I say, "are cute when you're embarrassed." She hits my arm but not hard enough for it to actually hurt.

Jake looks at her and says, "I've never thought about it, but he's right, you know." She just glares at him.

"You're not going to hit him too?" I ask. She hits me again. "Ow."

Jake laughs. Anna punches his arm. "Ow," he echoes me.

"You two get along too well," she mutters. "It frightens me."

I look at Jake. I'm not sure if he's forgiven me or not. He shrugs. "If Anna can forgive you, I suppose I can too." He reaches out, and we shake hands. "But the promise is still good."

"Promise?" Anna asks suspiciously. "What promise?"

Jake looks at her. "Something about intestines and barbeque and happy birds if there isn't any karaoke." He says it all with a completely straight face.

I start laughing. I'm thinking that Jake might be part of the reason Anna's so odd. She grew up around this. Now, Anna just looks confused. "I guess we're even," I tell her. "Apparently we are both cute when we're embarrassed, and we're both cute when we're confused."

"Well, if you want to see Anna embarrassed," Jake begins, "there was this time when she was thirteen—"

"Oh no you don't!" Anna shouts. She launches herself away from me and tackles Jake so hard they both hit the floor. After a minute of wrestling, Jake is flat on his stomach with Anna on his back.

"When'd you get so strong?" he gasps. "Damn, Anna."

"Get over it." She stands and walks over to me.

Jake sits up and continues as though there was no interruption. "She tripped up a flight of stairs at school. Her books and pencils went everywhere." Anna is already turning red. She moves toward him again. I grab her arms. I want to hear this. "Trying to get away from it, she ran into the nearest classroom, running into the doorframe in the process." Jake is already laughing. I'm unsuccessfully trying not to. Anna is struggling to get away from me, but I guess her hands are her main weapons because she can't do much with her arms pinned to her sides. "Wait," Jake laughs, "It gets better. It wasn't actually a classroom but the teachers' lounge. She also forgot to pick up all her stuff. While she was gathering her things, one of her friends asked why she was going upstairs, since her next hour was downstairs."

I start laughing. But then Anna says, "You just wait, Kurama. You just wait. I will dig something up. Mark my words. Laughing at me will come back to haunt you." She turns to Jake. "As for you, I have one word: Kimberly."

Jake promptly stops laughing and turns red.

"What do you mean, dig something up?" I ask. That phrase really worries me.

"Someone here is sure to have an embarrassing story about you," she replies. "Or Shiori. And if that fails, mothers have this annoying habit of taking naked baby pictures. I'm sure one of them would be suitable for the invitations to your twenty first birthday party." This does not sound good.

"Who's Kimberly?" Shizuru asks.

"When Jake was fourteen, there was this girl, Kimberly." Anna quickly sidesteps Jake and continues her story. "He had a crush on her. One day at lunch, one of his friends dared him to kiss her." She dodges out of the way again, this time hiding behind me. "He did, and she slapped him. Everyone saw it." Jake is finally successful in taking Anna to the ground. After a short scuffle, Anna is somehow sitting on his chest. "Then after school I was teasing him about it. I ran into the girls' bathroom." Suddenly Jake reaches up and begins tickling her sides. "No!" she shrieks. "Stop it! It was late, so he thought no one would—quit it!—be there, and he followed me. Kimberly was in the bathroom." Suddenly she can't continue as she shrieks. I did not know she was this ticklish. I'll keep that in mind.

"Question," Shizuru asks. "How frequent is the tackle-wrestle-tickle?"

"Is Maria home?" Jake asks. Shizuru gives him a blank look, so he explains, "Maria would kill us if she found us wrestling in her house. Mark thinks it's funny, especially when Anna wins. So, when Maria's not there…two or three times a day."

Shizuru shakes her head. "Yusuke and Kuwabara all over again."

"Speaking of," I say. "We need to tell everyone Anna's gone crazy and agreed to marry me."

"Gone," Jake asks. "Sorry to disappoint, but she was crazy long before she met you." Still sitting on him, Anna hits his shoulder. "Ow! No need to hit so hard."

Anna hops up and says, "And I'm sure neither of them would be too reluctant to give me a story or two."

* * *

well, there you have the reunion! yay! y'all know who I own and now for the twenty three thousand revies. this is going to take forever. love you guys! happy super bowl sunday!

Starmaid15: No, not going to their grandchildren. And even if I did, there would definitely be some 'thirty years later' moments involved.

Angel of Randomosity: It is totally possible that I'm giving hints like that unintentionally. As I've said before, I have a tendency to let the characters do whatever the hell they want, since it makes my life easier than fighting them. And when I try and force them to do something, the story has a tendency to either a) not get written or b) turn out terrible. So if Jake and Shizuru like each other...is it really my place to stop them? And I don't particularly care if you know what's going on between them. (I like it when people guess/make suggestions!) It's just that I've never had a reviewer who has made predictions as accurately as you have...

wolvesrain17: I may be mean (hence the cliffhangers) but I'm not entirely heartless (therefore I do my best to update regularly). :)

canopyskyandblanketsea: hahaha. The total 180 on Anna's part...Anna's just ridiculous like that. And she loves him too much to stay angry with him for long. As for Hiei vs Kurama: I'm a Hiei fangirl. But as much as _Kurama_ is OOC in this story, can you imagine what it would be like if Hiei were to be placed in such a situation?

DarlingAngelthewriter: Finally. I'm pretty sure that word sums it up.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Please understand that when she hits him in this chapter, they're those hits that hurt, but only for about three seconds. Jake on the other hand...I think she was actually trying to hurt him.

lostmoonchild: Yep. She said yes. How could she not?

animegrlsteph: Or are they? o_O

Aya Ayame: Haha. Thanks for the review! :)

Insanity4Apples: I contemplated having him walk out, then immediately turning around and breaking the door down in order to talk to her...but I like this better. Ricky: You won't. Not in this story.

Kuramasredredrose: :) I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks for the review.


	70. Sixty Nine

**And I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder, I'll Be Love's Suicide**

**Anna POV**

Not sure if I'm really going to make Kurama regret laughing or not. Either way, it doesn't matter, but it would be fun to hear some of the stories.

Shizuru smiles and says, "Well, come on. Let's grab Yukina and tell everyone. Keiko and Yusuke are both working today. I'm sure they'll both be happy for this kind of distraction."

It takes Shizuru a whole minute to find Yukina. I swear, she knows exactly what's going on in every room of this place every minute of every day. Which is actually a bit unnerving. "Yukina," Shizuru says. "Anna has something to tell you."

Yukina looks at me expectantly. I hold up my left hand. She tilts her head slightly to the side. "Kurama proposed."

Her eyes light up, and she rushes forward. Hugging me, she says, "I'm so happy for you guys! When's the wedding?"

I look at Kurama. He shakes his head. "No idea," he says. "She agreed _maybe_ fifteen minutes ago."

Shizuru grabs Yukina's hand. "And now we're going to tell everyone else."

"Shouldn't we let Kurama and Anna do that on their own?" Yukina asks uncertainly.

"No way." Shizuru shakes her head. "I've put up with their whining for a year. I want to see everyone's reaction. I think I deserve that. And I've also decided I'm going to be the aunt who shows up at the most inconvenient times."

I wouldn't put any of that past her. "She probably does deserve to see everyone's reaction, you know."

He nods, turning to Shizuru. "But we get to tell them."

"As long as I see their faces."

We all squeeze into Shizuru's car. Shizuru is driving with Botan in the passenger seat and Yukina is squashed between them. Wait…"How did I end up stuck between the two of you?" I ask.

Jake looks at Kurama. "I think we can use this to our advantage."

Kurama grins and nods. I do not like where this is headed.

"Where are we going first, you two?" Shizuru asks.

"Yusuke's," I respond. "I want to save Shiori for last."

Kurama looks at me. "I told her I was going to propose, Anna."

How many people did he tell? "I figured. But she'll still want to know I said yes."

He smiles. "True. And I love hearing you say that. You said yes."

"I'll have to stop saying it, then, just to irritate you," I reply. "And just how many people knew you were planning to propose?"

"I told Shiori and Jake," he says. "Jake told Mark and Maria. I told Shizuru and Botan about five minutes before you came back, just so they'd stop being angry with me."

"You were angry with him?" I ask.

"Oh yeah," Shizuru mutters.

After we pull off the highway, Jake says, "I'll hold her arms."

Then he grabs me by the wrists and pulls my arms above my head. Kurama attacks my sides. "No fair!" I shriek. "No double-teaming! No attacking when I can't move because of the safety belt!"

"Stop screaming, Anna," Shizuru says. "It's distracting."

"It's not my fault!" I yell, trying to move away from Kurama. That only puts me closer to Jake, who hands one of my arms to Kurama. Brilliant. Now they each have a free hand.

"That's not my problem," Shizuru responds, grinning at Jake in the rearview mirror.

"Quit helping them!" I shout as we pull into a parking space. Shizuru laughs, stops the car and climbs out.

They finally stop tickling me. As I catch my breath, Kurama opens the door, and I push him out. "I am not sitting between you two again." He opens his mouth to say something, but I say, "And I could take both of you at once. Neither of you is willing to fight with your full strength because you're both afraid of hurting me. I can and will use that to my advantage."

He closes his eyes, smiling. "You do know I love you, right Anna?"

"I know." I haven't quite figured out the why yet.

We go up to Yusuke's stand. "Welcome!" he says. Then he turns around and sees us. "Oh. It's just you guys."

**Kurama POV**

Anna turns around to leave. "Fine. You aren't happy to see us. We just won't tell you."

"No, wait," Yusuke objects. "I want to know." Enthusiastically, he adds, "Welcome! Now what is it?"

I laugh and take pity on him. "We're getting married."

Yusuke's jaw drops, and his spoon hits the ground. Laughing, Anna says, "This is Jake." She pulls him forward. "Jake, Yusuke."

They shake hands, then Yusuke asks, "You guys told Keiko yet?" I shake my head. "Okay, give me ten minutes. I'll take my lunch break, so I can see her freak out."

Yusuke cleans up his stand and washes his hands. Then we all walk to Keiko's parents' diner. We walk in, and her dad calls out, "Keiko, Yu and some of your other friends are here!"

She comes out. She walks up to us, and her eyes fall on Jake. She looks at Shizuru, who says, "Mm-hmm. No doubt."

"What?" Jake asks. What kind of silent question was Shizuru answering?

Anna grins. "Watch it, Yusuke," she says. "You might want to take a leaf out of Kurama's book and propose, or you might lose her. She's checking my brother out."

Is that what they were communicating silently? Ugh. I don't understand women. "I have proposed," Yusuke mutters as Anna and Shizuru laugh. Both Jake and Keiko are a nice shade of pink. "Many times. She keeps turning me down."

"Your brother?" Keiko asks, ignoring Yusuke's comments but grabbing his arm.

"Yeah. Jake, meet Keiko, Yusuke girlfriend."

She smiles. "Nice to meet you. What're you guys doing here, anyway?"

Anna looks at me. "I said it last time," I remind her. "Your turn."

She slides the ring off her finger and hands it to Keiko. I guess she was serious when she said she wasn't going to say it again.

Keiko examines the ring a moment. "What is—oh!" She throws her arms around me. "Yay! Since when?" she asks, giving Anna a hug.

"Since an hour and a half ago."

She nods bouncing up and down in excitement. "Keiko!" her mother calls. "Some help!"

She sighs. "Well, I need to go. Congratulations!"

We walk Yusuke back to his stall and pile back in the car. True to her word, Anna refuses to sit in the middle. Instead she sits sideways, her back up against the door, facing us. I'm stuck in the middle, Anna's toes digging into my leg.

Kuwabara's reaction is more or less the same is Yusuke's, then Anna insists we find Hiei. As usual, he's up a tree. "What?" he asks, dropping down from the branches.

"I'm marrying Anna," I reply. Best get the insults over with.

He stares at me. "You're a fool." Then he walks away. As he goes I hear him mutter, "Throwing his freedom away...a human woman...idiot."

Anna shrugs. "Typical Hiei. To Shiori's?" I nod.

Ten minutes later we pull into Shiori's driveway. Anna jumps out and runs to the door. I sprint after her, the others trailing behind. Shiori answers the door, and Anna says, "I told him yes."

Shiori smiles and hugs her. "I'm so glad. Come in, all of you."

Everyone files past me. I grab Jake's sleeve and whisper, "She doesn't know I'm a demon. To her, I'm Shuichi. I'd like to keep it that way."

He nods. "No problem."

We go inside, and Shiori sees him. "You must be Jake." She smiles. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Shiori."

He smiles back and nods. "Nice to meet you too." He turns to Anna. "Just how much have you been talking about me, woman?"

Anna shrugs. "Does it matter?"

* * *

You guys know who I own, now on to reviews! :)

FireStorm1991: Awww... Thank you so much! You make me feel so loved!

animegrlsteph: whose fault is that, Jake's or Anna's?

Insanity4Apples: Hahaha. As for wearing an engagement ring on her thumb, since when has Anna ever done anything in a traditional manner? She can't even run away in a normal way-she ends up halfway around the world. Anna bewilders me. Still.

Angel of Randomosity: Hahaha. Kurana, agreed. I'm sure Anna would _hate_ to hear someone say that.

wolvesrain17: sorry it was a bit hard to follow. I hope this one was better.

Slimjim314yo: Sorry I didn't update sooner. I tried, but my email wasn't working so I couldn't answer the reviews. Grrr...

Aya Ayame: I second that... unless you're the one being embarrassed...

Sarcastic Nightmare: Yeah, they aim for real pain. I know from my sister 'cause she aims for real pain. I don't. I'm not that mean. Actually, she's just too much of a wimp to take it, and if I aimed for real pain she would really get hurt. And then I'd have to deal with her crying/whining. Urgh. But my best friend has a younger brother...definite intent to kill going on there. Now I'm rambling and I'll shut up.

DarlingAngelthewriter: Well...It's a good day when I don't walk into a doorframe...Funny story: I went to the eye doctor, and they dilated my pupils (worst idea EVER). So then there was all this extra light, and I got a headache, so I was walking around with my eyes shut. I didn't walk into any doorframes. Fail. As for Shiori having a story on him... I'm not sure we're going to hear it. In all honesty, I'm probably too lazy to make Anna follow up that threat. Sorry.

canopyskyandblanketsea: Yes, Jake's in this chapter! I love Jake! :D Did you like Hiei's reaction?


	71. Seventy

**I'll Be Better When I'm Older**

_Three days later…_

**Kurama POV**

Anna and I enter Shiori's house, followed by Shizuru, Yukina, Botan and Keiko. Shizuru volunteered to help plan the wedding and then recruited everyone else. Anna was pleased to have their help. "Oh, don't look at me like that," she says. "You have to be here, and you know it." Jake has settled in a bit more and has discovered that he likes Yusuke. A little too much perhaps. He opted to hang out at Yusuke's stand rather than with a bunch of what he termed 'women excited about a party.'

"Your wedding," Shizuru reminds me. I've never noticed before, but they all avoid saying my name when we're around Shiori. They're careful not to call me Kurama, but it's like they can't quite bring themselves to call me Shuichi either.

"Or funeral," I mutter. All this planning and stuff is going to kill me, I swear. Anna hits me. Or Anna will.

Shiori gets us all drinks. Taking a sip of her own, she asks, "You guys have any idea for a date?"

I shake my head. Glancing at Anna, I say, "It just has to be sometime when it can be outside."

Shiori smiles. "An outdoor wedding. There's something beautiful about that. There's a park nearby that has space that can be booked. Should I check into that?"

I look at Anna. She shakes her head. "I want to get married at the edge of my forest. It's my friend."

I hear Shizuru take a deep breath. I can't help but agree. Anna's going to stubbornly stick to all her oddities, I can see that already. And I don't think Shiori quite grasps just how off-the-wall some of Anna's opinions and habits can be. "Your friend?" Shiori asks.

"Uh-huh. A living, life sustaining fortress. It protected me and took care of me when I needed it to." Oh, Anna. Can you possibly tune down the otherworldly around my mother? Please?

Shiori smiles. "Okay. Your forest it is. Your wedding. I understand. I'm just here to help organize. And who wants the input of an old woman anyway?"

Anna smiles. "I do, Shiori."

Shizuru interrupts, "Well, we have a place. How about a date? I've always liked the idea of an autumn wedding. The trees changing color, the way the air is crisp."

I shake my head. Fall doesn't seem right. "Summer," I say. "It has to be summer."

Keiko looks at me. "Why? I thought you didn't care about any of this planning stuff. I thought you were only here because Anna and Shizuru dragged you along."

Why? Because the plants are…how do I explain? I guess I don't have to, since Anna takes over. "Winter…the forest is asleep. Spring, it's just waking up, sleepy but there with the potential for greatness. Autumn…the entire world is preparing to sleep, the trees, the animals, all working to hibernate soon. Summer is the peak of the forest's life. Summer is when everything is most…"

"Vibrant," I finish.

"Yeah," she says. "Vibrant is the perfect word."

Shizuru shakes her head. "I swear, you two know all the details of this wedding, right down to how many buttons should be on the best man's suit. You just don't know you have it all figured out."

"Maybe," Anna shrugs. "But that's what you're here for. To help us find what we want."

"True."

Quietly, Yukina says, "So, it's going to be out behind the temple. How about early July, right in the middle of summer? And it'll be hard to organize an entire wedding before then anyway."

I glance at Anna. "I like that."

"Me too. How about…July eleventh?" she suggests.

"Why the eleventh?" I ask.

"I like prime numbers." Only Anna. "And we met on the eleventh of February. But to try and get married then would be insane, and I don't want to wait a whole year."

She remembers what day we met on? Even I don't remember that. I smile. I love her so much. "The eleventh sounds perfect, Anna."

Shizuru pulls out the datebook she bought just for the wedding planning. It frightens me how much she's getting into this. "The eleventh of July it is. Place is no issue, since we own it. Now, what time of day, do you think?"

Shiori answers, "Evening would be best, if you don't mind me saying so. July is terribly hot."

I nod. "How does seven-ish sound?" Anna nods, resting her head on my shoulder.

Shizuru simply writes it down in the book, shaking her head and muttering, "I told you. I told you that you had all the details planned out."

"Who are you planning to invite, Shuichi?" Shiori asks. I feel Anna flinch beneath me. This isn't good, I don't think. I can't tell Shiori the truth, but I fear I may have to.

"Our friends," I say, rather vaguely. "Jake and Anna's foster parents." I frown. "We'll have to notify them as soon as possible so that they can set that date aside. You, Takeshi and Hatanaka of course."

Shizuru shrugs. "We can figure out the precise guest list later. Let's try and get the wedding party out of the way first."

I nod. "Anna, why don't you take this one?"

She shakes her head. "Shizuru's the one who knows what's going on. How about she asks us who should be what?"

Shizuru just says, "Like I know what all the people in a wedding are."

Keiko cuts in. "Father of the bride, walks you down the aisle. You want that to be…"

"Mark," I supply.

"You want it to be Mark?" she repeats.

Anna shakes her head. No? Who else would it be? "I want Jake to bring me down the aisle. Just Jake."

"Why—" Shiori starts, but I interrupt.

"I understand, Anna. After the…robbery, Jake was the one who took care of you. He still tries to take care of you."

She nods. "And now he has help." After a pause and a moment staring at me, she adds, "Even though I don't need it."

I kiss her forehead. "Keep telling yourself that." She's probably right, but I will never let her hear me admit that out loud.

Then Keiko says, "Okay…K—Shuichi…Best Man?"

Hm. I hadn't thought about that. I don't really have many friends. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Jake. Well, kind of Jake. He's out anyway, since he'll be standing in as the father of the bride. Hiei totally disapproves of the whole thing so… "Yusuke."

Keiko raises her eyebrows. "Okay," she says shaking her head. "That's your choice."

"He had to choose between Yusuke and Kazu," Shizuru mutters. How did she know that? "I personally feel it was a good decision not choosing my blockhead of a brother."

Yukina tilts her head to one side, bewildered by the semi-affectionate insults as she always is. "Maid of Honor?" she asks.

"Shizuru," Anna says instantly.

Shizuru looks up. "Really? You want…Anna…I don't know what to say."

"You've been helping me since the beginning, Shizuru. Who else would I pick?"

Shizuru bites her lip. "Thanks, Anna. I love you too." She writes it down in the little book.

"Any other Bridesmaids or Groomsmen?" Shiori asks.

I nod. "Kuwabara. And…"

"Do not say Hiei," Shizuru threatens.

"My goal with Hiei is to get him to come," I assure her. "I don't really need anyone else, I just want someone standing between Yusuke and Kuwabara."

Keiko's eyes widen at the mental image of them fighting at the wedding, and she nods her head vigorously. "Good thinking."

Ah, got it. "Hatanaka."

"Sounds good," Shizuru replies. "Anna, Bridesmaids?"

"Yukina, Botan and Keiko."

They suddenly swoop down on her. This is probably the closest thing they've gotten to Anna admitting how important they all are to her. "Ring bearer?" Shiori finally asks.

"Isn't that usually a little kid?" Anna asks.

"Typically."

"How about Link?" she asks. "He looks young enough, at least. I'm sure he wouldn't object."

I start laughing, but I nod. "And the flower girl?"

Anna shakes her head. I don't know either. Rather wryly, Shizuru says, "If you're going for temporary ridiculousness, I'm sure Atsuko would love to throw flowers at people."

Anna grins. "I kind of like that idea. But we'll come back to that one later. Anything else?"

Keiko looks at Shizuru, then shakes her head. "I don't think there's really much more we can do today. There's the rings, of course, and there's the clothes."

"Invitations?" Botan chirps.

Anna shakes her head. "Shizuru's already got that one covered."

What is she talking about? Wait. Is she serious? A dark cloud passes over Shizuru's eyes. Then she suddenly seems to understand. "Really?" she asks.

"So long as the picture doesn't look completely…awful."

"No." Shizuru shakes her head, smiling. "It's cute. You two most definitely didn't know it was coming. It might be a bit crooked, but that can be fixed."

I jump up and begin pacing back and forth. "What's wrong, Shuichi?" Shiori asks.

"This is real," I say. "This is really happening. This is really real."

_One month later…_

**Anna POV**

Shizuru, Botan, Keiko, Yukina and I enter the store, followed closely by Shiori. This is the part I've been dreading. Dresses. We go up to the woman, who asks, "How can I help you?"

"We have an appointment," I say.

"Name?"

"Well…"

Shizuru steps in to help me. "The appointment is under the name Shizuru Kuwabara. But I'm not the bride."

The woman nods. "This way please. Which one of you is getting married?" I don't move, so Botan pushes me forward. The woman smiles. "A bit scared?" she asks.

"No," I answer. "I just don't like dresses."

She raises her eyebrows. "Well, I have many different styles. Perhaps we can find one you like. Traditional or something more modern?"

How do I answer that? I'd like something simple. Not traditional exactly, but not super modern, either. Keiko says, "Anna moved here from America. We're not going to go traditional. Let's look at the ones that are more modern, and we'll go from there."

The woman nods and looks at me, "Does that sound alright to you?"

"Perfect."

She shows us a collection of white dresses. My eyes are immediately drawn to one of them. I look at the others. "What do you guys think?"

Shizuru smiles. "It's your dress, Anna. This and the rings are the two places I refuse to give you any input."

I nod. I get it. I point to the dress. It is simple, thin straps maybe two fingers wide, designed to fit tightly to the body until the hips where it will flow outward slightly, any excess fabric pooling at the floor. The woman nods. "I was hoping you'd like that one. That dress was designed with smaller women in mind."

As she's taking measurements, I suddenly say, "I want it in green. Pale green, almost white, but not quite."

The woman looks at me. "It will be a bit more expensive."

I glance at Shizuru. She nods. "That's fine. I want the green."

After she finishes sizing me, Shizuru and the others look at Bridesmaids' dresses. I don't care what they wear. I'm marrying Kurama. That's all that matters. And it isn't long before they pick one. It's simple as well, strapless, hugging the body to the knees where it flares outward. They show it to me. Shizuru says, "Green, of course."

_One month later…_

**Kurama POV**

They picked the dresses up yesterday. The dresses Shizuru, Botan, Keiko and Yukina will be wearing are beautiful, the color of dark, dark, healthy leaves. Anna wouldn't let me see her dress. Bad luck, she said. It has to be a surprise. I suppose that's okay, as long as we keep the color scheme green. The color of the forest.

We walk into the jeweler's. It isn't the same place I got her engagement ring. I refuse to go there again.

A woman comes up to us and asks, "Here to search for anything in particular?"

"Wedding bands," I smile. "Wedding bands."

"She heard you the first time," Anna says.

"I just like the idea."

"I've noticed," she mutters.

The woman's eyebrows are raised. She's probably beginning to wonder if dealing with us is worth the commission. "Okay, what would you like?"

"Simple," is Anna's immediate response.

I nod. "Something simple. And…I think we're going to have to go with emeralds as opposed to diamonds." Emeralds, green of the forest.

She nods. "This way."

We glance over the rings, and our eyes fall on the same one at the same time. It's silver, small green stones set around it in a single circle. That's the one. That's Anna's ring. She looks at me. "That one," I say pointing.

"You sure?" she asks.

"Absolutely."

"What about you?" Anna asks. "How about…this one?" She points to a silver ring, slightly wider than the one we chose for her. There aren't any gems set into it, but there are etchings along the outside that almost look like vines. "They look like vines. It seems right somehow."

"I agree."

The woman nods. She hasn't said much, hasn't tried to force anything on us. It's like she knows that Anna is stubborn, and I won't put up with such nonsense. And I think she just wants to make the sale and have us gone.

We go to the front with her, and she asks, "Let me see your ring finger. We like to make sure that the rings are precisely the right size."

Anna looks at me. "Can we go non-traditional, Kurama?"

"Name one thing that's traditional about our relationship thus far, Anna."

She smiles. "Okay." Turning back to the woman, she says, "I want my wedding ring on my left thumb, not the ring finger."

Anna…I suppose that does have more meaning than what tradition does. "Mine as well," I say.

The woman just nods. "No problem." I'm not sure I want to know what she's actually thinking.

After she sizes our fingers, I give her a credit card to make a payment. She swipes it and asks me to sign. I do. Anna watches as I scrawl Shuichi's name.

* * *

Well, there you have it. Disclaimer: I only own Anna and Jake. Disclaimer #2: I'm not married. I've never planned a wedding. So just go with it. Now on to the reviews! Oh, one more thing: as I was answering these reviews, I had my YouTube playlist going. Runaway Train came on. Ah, what perfect timing.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Haha. Agreed. Thanks for the review.

Angel of Randomosity: I'm going to be honest. I have no idea what you were talking about. But thanks for the review. :)

FireStorm1991: I love it when reviewers see key problems before I introduce them. LOVE IT. 3 You'll see. It's fun. Next chapter. :)

canopyskyandblanketsea: Well...I love Jake, but he's really not there very much. He's kind of a hard character to write, in all honesty.

Starmaid15: Yeah, everyone knows. :) No flames for hating football. It bores me out of my mind to watch football. On the other hand... it bores me out of my mind to watch _any_ sport. I'd much rather be running around playing whatever sport it happens to be...

wolvesrain17: hahaha. I get the feeling that I probably wasn't awake when I wrote this. It's been ages since I wrote a chapter during the day as opposed to at ten at night (or later, as seems to be the case more often than not).

Insanity4Apples: Thanks for the review! I don't think there's really anything I can say about Ricky's response to that chapter though...

animegrlsteph: yep. I wasn't really expecting Anna to be ticklish... it just kind of happened. Jake and Kurama bring out the best in Anna. :)

Aya Ayame: Thank you very much!

DarlingAngelthewriter: Sorry that this chapter wasn't terribly exciting. Next chapter will be better in the 'where is she going with this?' category.


	72. Seventy One

**I'll Be the Greatest Fan of Your Life**

**Anna POV**

I watch him sign his name. Shuichi Minamino. And it is so natural and unthinking…I can't do this. I can't. I thought I could. But I can't. I turn and walk away.

"Anna?" Kurama calls after me. As I walk out the door, I hear him say quickly, "Thanks for your help." He follows me outside. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it, Kurama." Not like this.

"Do what?"

"Marry you. I can't do it."

"What?" The word is said so quietly that I can't actually hear it, I can just see the way his lips move.

"You heard me, Kurama. I cannot marry you. I thought I could, but I can't." I can't live like that.

"Why not?"

"You are not Shuichi," I hiss. "I cannot keep lying, Kurama. I hate liars, I hate Pretenders. I cannot spend the rest of our lives calling you Shuichi when we're with your mother, just so she doesn't find out the truth. I can't marry Shuichi. I won't do it."

"But if we want to get married—Shuichi is my human name, Anna."

"Then we won't get married." I want to marry him. So badly. But I want to legally be married to Kurama, not Shuichi.

"Legally Kurama doesn't exist," he says.

"I cannot marry Shuichi, Kurama. Don't make me try." I walk back to the car without another word.

**Kurama POV**

I climb into the driver's seat. What am I supposed to do? Would Anna really refuse to marry me over my name? Yes. She would. I knew she didn't like me pretending to be human. Pretending. She must really feel strongly about this. It's been a long time since she used the word _Pretender_.

But how am I supposed to change any of that? How am I supposed to marry her without telling Shiori the truth?

Can it even be done?

"Anna," I say as I drive down the highway. "Can we at least talk about this?"

"No," she says. "There isn't anything to discuss. I marry you as Kurama, or I do not marry you at all."

"Why do you feel so strongly about this, Anna?" I ask. "A name, that's all it is. You gave up your names."

"Because names hold nearly infinite meaning," she snaps. "I gave up my last name because I wanted nothing to do with my past, you understand? It was a way of disassociating myself and my family. My middle name, Lynn, that was my father's middle name too, understand? I wanted to escape painful memories. Do you see the power of names?"

"Yes, Anna. But—"

"But what?" she asks furiously. "This name Shuichi Minamino means nothing. A good boy who got good grades and always did what he was told. Kurama on the other hand, _your name_, holds an entire story. Which of the two names do you use in both forms? Think about it. Are you more Kurama, or are you more Shuichi? Which one can be followed through your whole life?"

"Kurama." I can't pretend with this. I just don't know how to do anything about it.

"Now tell me," she says quietly, threateningly, "Who did I fall in love with—a demon called Kurama or a human named Shuichi?"

I nod. "I understand."

"Do you?" she challenges.

"Yes." Just… "Anna, you're asking me to choose between you and Shiori."

"No I'm not." What is she talking about? "I have no problem keeping truth hidden. That is one thing. But I do not like to lie. You know what the hardest thing I ever had to do was? Tell you I didn't love you in that forest, okay? I cannot lie. It is one thing not to say something, it's another to tell an outrigt lie. Your name isn't Shuichi. I won't call you Shuichi again, Kurama. I don't care if Shiori knows about the whole demon-human mess. All I care about is a way for me to be able to call you Kurama while she is there."

I turn to look at her. "Is that all?" I mutter. I understand what she wants, and I understand why, but it will be incredibly difficult for me to work out. At least without telling Shiori.

"Just watch the road," she snaps at me.

Oh dear god. How am I supposed to get around this one?

_The next day…_

I pace back and forth around the kitchen.

I could tell Shiori. Just tell her. She'll probably find out soon enough anyway.

But the shock might kill her. She isn't exactly in the best health, she hasn't been since she got ill.

But if I don't do something about my name, I can't marry Anna.

And on top of that, Anna's insisting on marrying me as Kurama, and how can that be done? If we got married in the demon realm, that would be no problem. The name Shuichi Minamino means nothing to the people there.

But that isn't an option. It has to be legal here in the human world, since Anna is human. And I don't know if Anna could handle the miasma. I wouldn't doubt it, but I don't want to risk it.

I throw my hands into the air. What do I do?

"You okay, Kurama?" Shizuru asks. "You've been pacing back and forth for five minutes."

"Anna's asking me to…"

"She's asking you to…?" Shizuru looks at me. Evidently Anna hasn't told Shizuru what she thinks yet, which seems odd.

"I don't know," I say honestly, falling into a chair. "I don't have any idea what she's asking me to do. All I really know is that, with things as they are now, there won't be a wedding."

"What?" Shizuru asks.

"Anna won't marry me."

"Well that was perfectly obvious from you stating that there wouldn't be a wedding. I meant why?"

"She wants to marry me as Kurama." Shizuru closes her eyes in understanding. "And I understand every word of her reason for it, but I don't know what to do. The most obvious option is to tell Shiori the truth."

"How would that solve anything?"

"Her issue isn't so much with marrying me as Shuichi as it is with the necessity of calling me that around Shiori."

"I see." She stands up. "Two weeks, Kurama. You two have to get married. I will give you two weeks to figure something out. If you haven't come up with an alternate solution by then and you haven't told Shiori, I will tell her myself. Your mother knowing the truth is not as bad as you and Anna splitting up over something like this. Two weeks." Then she stands and walks out.

* * *

Hehe. I'm a terrible person. I only own Anna and Jake. Now on to the 10+ reviews. :)

canopyskyandblanketsea: Well... I hope I managed to make this chapter not-so-bland.

DarlingAngelthewriter: Kurama is Kurama's real name... Shuichi is just his human name. But I hope this chapter clarified her problems with it.

Sarcastic Nightmare: Of course Kurama's freaking out. But when Anna has the potential to act like she does in this chapter, can you really blame him?

animegrlsteph: haha. I just kind of made the designs up as I went.

NatalieRikuLoveStory: Thanks so much! Well, I've basically written the entire story. And there is one chapter and the epilogue after the wedding. Does that answer your question?

FireStorm1991: I AGREE. I wish I could be more like Anna. And if more people were like Anna, life would be WAY more interesting...

Aya Ayame: Haha. I'm glad you're enjoying this.

wolvesrain17: I try to make them long. I just fail at that as a general rule.

Angel of Randomosity: Thanks! :)

Insanity4Apples: Hahahaha. My day gets better every time I read one of your reviews. Thanks for that review and all the support!


	73. Seventy Two

**I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder, I'll Be Love's Suicide**

_Two days later…_

**Kurama POV**

I walk into Shiori's. "Shuichi!" she says happily. I flinch away from the name.

"Is Hatanaka home?" I ask. "I need to talk to him."

She sighs in frustration. "He's up in his room, still trying to put that blasted computer back together."

"Thanks." I smile.

I walk up to his room. "Hey Shuichi," he says, hardly looking up.

I close the door and lock it. "I'm not Shuichi today. And I need your help."

His attention is immediately caught. He stops sorting through the pieces and sits on the floor looking at me. "With what? And why me?"

"Anna has decided she won't marry me unless I find a way for her to be able to call me Kurama when Shiori is around. I chose you because you are the only person who both knows Shiori well enough to give decent advice and knows the truth."

"Oh," he says. "Oh. Well, why don't you just change your name legally?"

"That would hurt her, I think, to believe that I hate the name she gave me that much."

He grimaces and says, "So change your middle name. People go by their middle names all the time."

"That still begs the question why," I mutter.

After a moment's silence, he asks, "Why did you introduce yourself to Anna as Kurama, if she's human?"

"I didn't," I reply startled. "I introduced myself as Shuichi. But she'd already heard one of the others call me Kurama."

He shrugs. "You could tell Shiori it's some sort of nickname that came from a misunderstanding of some sort. Because that almost sounds like a misunderstanding to me, even though it was just Anna outsmarting you."

Thanks Hatanaka, for that. I nod. "You're a smart kid, Hatanaka. Thanks for the help. The piece you were looking for is on your bookshelf, by the way."

He looks to where I'm pointing, and I leave.

"Mom," I call. "Where are you?"

"The kitchen, Shuichi."

I walk in to find her reading a book at the kitchen table. "Mom," I say to her. "I'm going to do something that will seem odd and possibly entirely pointless."

"What a great opening," she remarks when I pause. "Now you've definitely got my attention."

Wonderful. Just what I needed. "I'm changing my middle name to Kurama."

She stares at me. I think she thinks I'm joking. When she sees I'm not, she asks, sounding bemused rather than upset, "Why?"

What do I say? I probably should have thought this conversation through a bit better before I sat down to have it. Too late now. "The first day Anna and I met, she heard someone say the name Kurama. She thought they were talking to me. She's stubbornly refused to call me anything but Kurama ever since."

She looks at me. "So it's a nickname?" she asks. That's exactly what Hatanaka suggested I convince her. Perfect. That kid is really smarter than I think anyone gives him credit for. "Why change it legally if it's just a nickname?"

"It seems…wrong somehow to marry her under a name she never calls me." How'd I manage that? I'm pretty sure everything I told her was the truth, but I still somehow avoided actually telling her anything.

"So you're doing this for Anna?" She is smiling. That's a good sign.

"Yes," I reply, adding, "I just thought you might like an explanation."

"Well, as long as you have a good reason." She stands and hugs me. "I love you, Shuichi. And I love Anna too. Remember that."

"I will."

_Two weeks later…_

**Anna POV**

Kurama gets back from Shiori's. He is carrying a manila envelope. "What's that?" I ask.

"Legal documents." He hands them to me.

I spread them across the table. They all bear the same name. Shuichi Kurama Minamino. "Kurama?" I ask quietly, "What is this?"

"I told Shiori you heard someone say the name Kurama," he explains smiling. "And that you thought they were referring to me. If you ask Shiori, as a result of that 'misunderstanding,' you gave me the 'nickname' and have refused to call me anything else."

"And the documents?" I ask.

"Now, even by the laws of the human realm, you will be marrying me as Kurama."

He changed his middle name… "Thank you so much," I whisper. "Do you have any idea how much this means to me?"

He shakes his head and takes my hands. "No, Anna, I don't think I really know. But I do know that if I had been forced to choose between marrying you and keeping the truth from Shiori, I would have picked you."

"Oh, Kurama," I say, hugging him. "Thank you. For all of it. I love you so much."

When I step back, he takes my hand and lifts it to his lips. "And I you."

"So much the gentleman," I whisper. And the romantic.

"I have my moments," he replies. His green eyes stare into mine, and he has an almost crooked smile on his face. He offers me his arm.

I ignore it and grab a fistful of his shirt in each of my hands. I look up at him. "And if I were to tell you I prefer bad boy over gentleman?"

"I would—" he begins, but Shizuru interrupts.

"Say too bad, gentleman is what you're getting, at least for today." She grabs my left arm and Kurama's shirt and drags us towards the door. "I don't particularly care to know when or what goes on behind closed doors. On the other hand, I want the two of you pure as snow, at least for today."

Kurama raises his eyebrows and glances at me. "Pure?"

"Why?" I ask. What's she after? This almost has me worried.

"Pure," Shizuru defines in a voice that seems dignified yet somehow seems to be mocking some unseen authority. "Resisting the temptation to indulge in the ungodly desires of the flesh."

Oh dear lord. "Why?" I ask again.

"We're meeting the priest today," she answers cheerfully.

"Priest?" I choke. "As in Catholic priest?"

Shizuru shrugs. "Yeah. Since you basically left all of the wedding planning to me, I asked Jake who he thought should perform the service." She continues as I climb in the passenger seat of the car. Kurama makes a face as he gets in the back. "All he would say was that you were christened a Catholic."

"Christened, Shizuru," I say. "As a baby. I'm only Catholic because my father was Catholic. I believe there's a god, but I couldn't tell you which god it is, assuming he's even one of the ones people worship. Hell, he could be _all_ of the gods people worship for all I know."

**Kurama POV**

Only Anna would use the word _hell_ as an interjection in a conversation about religion. Never would have pegged her as being raised a Catholic, though. Shizuru shrugs, keeping her eyes on the road. "So?"

"So I haven't seen a priest since I was fifteen." Anna sounds so exasperated it's almost funny. "When I was fourteen one of them tried to tell me how I was supposed to grieve my father's death. Who does that? Jake thought going to confession might help after Connor, but the priest just got colder and more superior with every word I said." All of a sudden she's imitating a man's voice, "My child, you have sinned. You must ask God for forgiveness. It is a terrible temptation you have fallen into."

"He's just an official," Shizuru says. "What's the big deal?"

"Catholic. Priest," Anna repeats.

"Shizuru," I say. "I'm a _demon_. You know how the Church feels about demons, right? Especially demons _possessing_ people?" I'm not exactly possessing Shuichi, but the priest probably wouldn't see it that way.

Shizuru shrugs. "Nothing wrong with a little irony."

* * *

Well, I only own Anna and Jake and currently hate my life. I had just finished answering the reviews, went to change tabs and accidently hit a button sending me to a different website. Before I had saved the changes. Resulting in a loss of all my review responses. Anyway, I don't have time to go back and re-answer them all, so I just want to thank you all so very much, and I love you! My normal review responses will resume next chapter, and I apologize for my failure. I would however like to address one thing.

In my mind, Kurama is not afraid Shiori won't accept him as Yoko. He is afraid by telling her he will either a) give her a heart attack or b) drag her further into the dangerous world he lives in. He doesn't want to tell her because he's trying to protect her, not himself. Also, Anna is not asking him to tell Shiori the whole truth. She understands that he is only lying to protect Shiori (and that is the only acceptable reason to lie in Anna's book). But she doesn't want to lie. For some reason, Anna feels that withholding information is acceptable while telling an outright lie is not. So she doesn't care how he does it, she wants to marry Kurama not Shuichi. If this made sense to you, good. If it didn't... sorry. Sometimes my thoughts are hard to convey without losts of gesturing. (yes, I am one of those people who speaks with her hands. A lot.)

Thanks for reading this chapter, I apologize again, and I love you all.

OH, Allysarian (I hope I got that right. Sorry if I didn't), you have no idea how loved I felt when I read your review. My day has been fantastic already, and that was just the icing on the cake. :)


	74. Seventy Three

**I'll Be Better When I'm Older**

_Two and a half months later…_

**Anna POV**

Shizuru appears in my room, already dressed in the dark green gown the bridesmaids are wearing. I'm pacing back and forth. "I don't know if I can do this, Shizuru," I say as she hands me the hanger with my dress on it. "I'm scared."

"Anna," she says soothingly. "There's nothing to be scared of. I'll be with you the entire time." I look at her. She isn't helping. I think she sees that because she adds, "Kurama will be with you the whole time. And long after."

"That's why I'm nervous," I say.

"Why?" she asks, obviously confused.

"My family doesn't exactly have a good history of acting like family," I answer. "Having family hasn't…"

Shizuru asks, "Hasn't what, Anna?"

"Hasn't exactly worked out for me in the past. I'm a bit wary of having an actual family."

Shizuru grimaces. "Name the two most important people in your life, Anna."

"Kurama and Jake," I reply immediately. Oh, I get it. Jake. Family. And, now that I think about it, Dad died trying to keep us safe. Family.

She smiles. "You ready now?"

I nod and remove the protective covering from the dress. "Thanks, Shizuru."

"No problem," she answers, staring at the dress. Then she adds, "Man, that dress is small. Only when I look at your clothes does it really register just how tiny you are."

"Thanks, Shizuru. Thanks for that."

"Uh-huh."

**Kurama POV**

"I'm nervous," I tell Yusuke as I straighten my jacket one last time. "Why am I nervous?"

"Kurama," Yusuke says seriously. "Given the choice between an angry Keiko and refighting Sensui _and_ the Dark Tournament, I'd take Sensui and the Tournament."

I look at him. "What're you trying to say, Yusuke?"

"Girls can be way scarier than risking your life. Especially when you're in love with them."

"Tell me about it," Jake says walking into the room we're using to dress in. Anna and Shizuru kicked me out of ours. "Even if love isn't involved. Those three in particular."

"Those three?" Kuwabara asks.

"Anna, Shizuru and Keiko."

Kuwabara nods. "I grew up with Shizuru. Trust me, I know."

"And I grew up with Keiko," Yusuke answers. "What'd you try to do?"

"I just wanted to talk to Anna," Jake replies, exasperated. "They didn't approve. I knocked on the door and when they didn't answer, I opened it. It took maybe two seconds for them to fly across the room and push me back out. Then they locked the door. Of course…growing up with her, I should have known Anna would react that way."

"So basically," Hatanaka asks from the corner, "Shuichi is the only one who doesn't know just what he's getting himself into?"

Jake nods as he and the other two howl with laughter.

_Later…_

I stand at the end of the aisle next to the priest. He's not too bad, I suppose. More modern than I was expecting. There haven't been any lectures, at least, even when he learned that a bunch of us were living together. He crossed himself once when he saw some of our wedding guests, but he didn't actually say anything.

Yusuke nudges my arm. I look back at him. "You'll be fine, Kurama," he says. "Just quit worrying. Enjoy the moment." Hatanaka and Kuwabara nod in agreement.

I take a deep breath and turn back to watch Atsuko come up the aisle, scattering flowers, Link at her side carrying the rings.

Yukina, Botan and Keiko follow, all wearing dresses of a green so dark it's almost black. Shizuru comes next, her dress matching the others. They're all beautiful. But once they're all lined up at the front, Anna appears and trumps their beauty.

She's so beautiful. Oh my god. I have to work to keep myself from rushing down the aisle to meet her. She's on Jake's arm, smiling more brilliantly than I've seen. Her dress is the opposite of the others, such a pale green it's almost white. It clings to her small figure, emphasizing her almost ethereal appearance. If there are such things as angels, I can't imagine them being more beautiful than she is at this very moment.

When the two of them get to me, Jake hugs her and kisses her cheek. Then he leans in and tells her, "I love you, Anna. You don't know how happy it makes me to see you today."

"Thanks, Jake. I love you too."

As he hands her off to me, he whispers so that Anna can't hear, "And remember my promise."

I smile and nod. Anna looks at us questioningly but doesn't say anything. We walk to the very edge of the forest where the priest is waiting for us. It honestly surprised me that Shizuru managed to find a priest who didn't insist on doing a wedding in a church. This man honestly seems to defy most of my stereotypes. I take her hands and look into her eyes. Forever. I will have this _forever_.

Anna is staring back at me. This is the first—and quite possibly the last—time I have understood precisely what's in her eyes. Love. Nothing but love. I hope she sees that in mine as well.

Suddenly the priest turns to me and asks, "Do you, Shuichi Kurama Minamino, take Anna to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse, till death do you part?" I think he's been talking the whole time I've been looking at Anna.

"I do," I say. "I do."

He turns to Anna. "Do you, Anna"—that was the one thing he couldn't understand, why we insisted on having my full name and only her first name in the ceremony—"take Shuichi Kurama Minamino to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse, till death do you part?" Why am I holding my breath? Is some part of me still afraid she'll say no?

"Yes," she says, her voice clear and confident. "Yes, yes, yes. I do."

Link steps up and hands us the rings. I take the thin band, ringed with emeralds and slip it onto her thumb. She takes the my ring and places it on my left thumb as well. "I love you, Kurama."

"I love you too."

The priest smiles. "Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife." He looks at me. "You may kiss the bride."

I carefully take Anna's face in my hands and lean in to kiss her. Almost as soon as our lips touch, she pulls away from me. Smiling, she whispers, "Don't touch me, Kurama."

Oh, Anna. "Try and stop me." I lean in and kiss her again. This time she kisses back. When our lips part, I say, "There's no getting away from me now."

"You're the one who should be running," she answers. "But now you're mine, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it."

"Good," I answer as I swing my arms under her knees. I pick her up and run down the aisle. She clings to my neck as I carry her up the stairs and into the temple. How can someone so small and light be so…ferocious and so intimidating? She can't weigh more than a hundred pounds.

Actually, I don't care. Anna will be Anna. We reach the main room, which has been decorated for the reception, which will likely be nothing more than one huge party. I set Anna's feet back on the floor. She looks at me and says exactly what I'm feeling. "Forever, Kurama. We have this forever."

* * *

Well, there you have it. The wedding. I think there are two more chapters and the epilogue. Ah, that makes me sad... I own Anna and Jake. :)

animegrlsteph: I love that bit too. I want you to stay PURE, stephanie!

Insanity4Apples: hahaha. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :) (determined to not hit the wrong button again...)

FireStorm1991: I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

wolvesrain17: haha. I'll think about putting that poll up. ;)

Sarcastic Nightmare: Sorry if you were looking forward to a visit to a church. I just wanted to establish who was going to perform the service.

Angel of Randomosity: Thank you. :)

DarlingAngelthewriter: Yes... Kurama is really too clever for his own good, isn't he? Too bad he's powerless to say no to Anna...

Allysarian: Hyper is perfectly okay with me. I have a tendency to get that way when talking about my story. I'm happy to hear that the solution Kurama found was believable. :)

lostmoonchild: yeah... the idea of confessing sins to another person makes me cringe too. Confess to god (ie, admit you know you did something wrong) I can live with that. Admit it to another person... not so much. Me=definitely not a catholic.


	75. Seventy Four

**I'll Be the Greatest Fan of Your Life**

**Anna POV**

The others quickly find us. The first people to come up to us are Shiori and Takeshi. Shiori is… I don't know how to describe it. _Shining_, maybe. With love, happiness, pride. She hugs me. "I'm so happy to be able to call you my daughter, Anna. So happy."

"I'm happy to be a part of your family, Shiori," I answer. "I love you, you know." I love her more than I love my own mother, but I don't think she'd like hearing that. She'd feel bad. Not that it's too hard to see that I feel that way, considering my mother wasn't even invited.

Then Mark and Maria appear next to Shiori. They got here a few days ago. It's been driving Maria crazy, either listening to someone else's broken English or needing a translator. "Hey," I say, hugging her and then Mark.

"Hello," she says. "Just so you know, the ceremony was terrible. I had no idea what was going on."

"Sorry, Maria," I answer.

Mark puts his left arm around her shoulders and says, "You're fine, Anna. You know Maria just likes to complain." He reaches toward Kurama with his right hand, and they shake hands. "Now, which do you prefer, Kurama or Shuichi? I understand you go by both."

"Shuichi is fine," he answers. They're human. I can understand that. I really don't care what anyone else calls him as long as I can call him Kurama.

"Well, Shuichi," he says, "I'm sure you've already heard this from Jake, but you better take good care of Anna, you understand?"

He nods. "Believe me, I will. And Jake has been reminding me of that ever since he got here."

"I still don't know what that promise is," I mutter.

Jake appears and hugs me and shakes Kurama's hand. "Just a promise to remove his entrails should he break your heart."

"Oh, Jake," I say smiling. "You know I can take care of myself."

He nods. "That doesn't mean I can't help."

Kurama puts his arm around me and says, "Shiori and Takeshi, Mark and Maria."

They all shake hands, and our parents walk away, Shiori and Takeshi speaking English as quickly as they can. Dr. Takei appears to take their place. Kurama looked surprised when I said I wanted to invite her, but I'm glad we did. She just looks at us and smiles. The she shakes her head in disbelief. "I'm not sure what you did, Anna, but I think you're happier now than when I was trying to help you work through your problems."

I nod. "I let myself love him. After I went back to America and dealt with my regrets, Evan, my mother, Jake, Connor." Jake and Kurama shuffle nervously when I say Connor's name.

"You went back to Connor?" she asks. She looks worried, probably the psychiatrist in her.

"Yes. I left him with another broken nose." I watch them and, sure enough, more shuffling. "What'd you two _do_?" I ask rather suspiciously.

"Umm," Jake says. "Well…Kurama, you tell her."

"Thanks," Kurama answers sarcastically. "Throw me to the wolves."

"Kurama?" I ask.

"Well," he says. "We crashed a party, kicked everyone out and had a few words with him." That's not all, I can tell. I wait, and after a moment, he adds, "I don't think he'll be going after underage girls any time soon." I look at him and wait for an explanation. Finally he admits, "When we left he had nine fingers instead of ten."

Dr. Takei and I stare at him for a moment. Then her eyes widen, and I start laughing.

Over the karaoke mike she dug up from somewhere, Shizuru suddenly says, "Can everyone please move to the edges of the room? It's time for their first dance as husband and wife."

Husband. _Husband_. Kurama is my _husband_. He smiles and leads me to the middle of the room. The music starts playing, and a curious smile crosses his face. "This is the song you made me dance to on my birthday."

I nod and rest my head on his chest. When that song finishes, Kurama hands me off to Mark and grabs Shiori for another dance. As we dance, I tell Mark, "Sorry I had Jake walk me down the aisle instead of you—"

"No need to explain," he interrupts. "I understand. I may have taken care of you as far as clothing, food, things like that, but it was always Jake who took care of you emotionally. And he was doing that long before Maria and I fostered you."

"Thanks, Mark."

After the dance is over, Shizuru just puts her Mp3 on shuffle. Jake helped her put together the playlist, so who knows what will come up.

**Kurama POV**

Anna's been dancing with everyone. But suddenly, she comes over and pulls me back into the mix. She's singing with the song blaring from the speakers. Her eyes are alight with happiness, and I can see that she believes every word she's singing. "_I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation, and the only explanation I can find is the love that I've found ever since you've been around. Your love's put me at the top of the world_."

I smile and dance a few songs with her. As we're dancing, Hiei approaches us. Might as well get this over with. "You are both idiots," he tells us. He looks at me. "You more so than her." He shakes his head. "Throwing your freedom away for a woman. A human woman, no less. It's disgusting."

I get ready to fire back a retort, but Anna grabs my arm, stopping me. She stares at Hiei for a long moment. Hiei glares back, challenging her. Then with a perfectly straight face and a voice that is dead serious, she says, "Hiei, you really need to get laid."

I snort. Hiei stares at her as though he can't believe she had the nerve to say such a thing out loud. Shizuru approaches and, noting Hiei and Anna's staring contest, asks, "What's going on here?"

Still trying not to laugh, I answer, "Anna just told Hiei he needs to get laid."

Shizuru presses her lips together in an obviously futile attempt not to laugh. "Seriously? And no one's dead?" She chuckles slightly.

Hiei vanishes from sight, and the front door slams almost simultaneously. Shizuru then begins howling with laughter. Anna blinks in surprise. "I was just telling the truth," she says, once again perfectly serious.

"That's why it's funny," I answer, "You know no one else would have had the guts to say that about Hiei. At least not to his face." I laugh and pull my wife closer to my side. My wife. Suddenly I notice what Shizuru is holding. "Shizuru, what is that?"

Shizuru grins. She leads us over to the wedding cake. Then she decides it's a good idea to give Anna the knife she was holding. I place my hand on top of Anna's, and we cut the cake. We each take a bit of the cake in our fingers and move to give it to the other person. Her eyes glint with mischief. Oh no.

At the same moment, we smear cake across each other's faces. Then without thinking, I take the rest of the piece I have on the plate in my hand and shove it into her face.

After wiping the frosting from her eyes, she looks at me a moment as though debating something. Then she grabs my neck and rams my face into the rest of the cake. Knowing Anna, I should have been expecting that one.

I come up laughing. "Anna," I say, "You ruined the cake."

"And you got frosting in my nose. And it's just cake." She shrugs and adds, "Besides, it wasn't me that ruined the cake, it was your face."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Shizuru shake her head. "I knew this would happen. I had Keiko's mom make two. The other one's in the kitchen if anyone actually wants to _eat_ cake."

Are we really that predictable? Anna bursts out laughing.

I look at her. "You're more cake than person," she says in response to my questioning look.

Well, if there's another cake…this one's ruined anyway. I take a fistful of the pastry and cover her face as well. "Now you are too."

She pulls my head down and kisses me. Through the frosting, she says, "I love you, dear husband." She accuses me of being a hopeless romantic, and then she goes and says things like that. Typical Anna, I suppose. But husband. She called me her husband.

* * *

! They are such morons. o_o - watching you... Okay, now that I'm done having a spaz attack and done being creepy (for now) we can move on to the whole 'I own Anna... and Mark... and Maria... and Dr. Takei... and Jake now onto reviews' bit...

Eldel Raid of Water: Yeah, I think about that scene sometimes and wonder how Meyer(s?) could have written that. It was painful. I gave up Twilight because, while I felt it was a good story, it wasn't nearly good enough to deserve all the hype it's getting. I am so sick of vampires... there's a reason I read Dracula. I needed some good, old-fashioned, kill-the-vampires-before-they-kill-us type of book. Okay, now that I've ranted at you, thanks for the review, and I'm glad you liked the wedding scene. It's been forever since I went to a wedding...

Allysarian: I couldn't have possibly put Hiei in the getting ready process. Everything would have gone down in flames (literally). But I didn't forget him! The priest crossing himself was more likely at some of the ones who don't look human at all. Juri... Koto... Jin, since he's probably floating... you get the picture. The priest's crossing himself wasn't one specific person. Who knows, he could have been crossing himself upon seeing Jake...

Insanity4Apples: Anna's not exactly Miss Innocent... I kind of get the feeling that Anna would me more inclined to make perverted jokes than Kurama would be...

Angel of Randomisty: DON'T DO THAT! You're gonna make _me_ cry! I'm sad and simultaneously relieved this story is almost over. I'll miss it, but I really don't have the time... urgh. But you're wonderful too!

FireStorm1991: I'm sad about the end, but at the same time I'm relieved. I don't have time for this (please note: I'm posting anyway, I'm writing dysfunctional family anyway cause I'm stupid like that...). Anyway, there won't be anything to write a sequel _about _(you'll understand once you've read 75 and the epilogue). Thanks for the review!

wolvesrain17: If you mean the chapter, sure I can. :) If you mean the story... of course not! I'm not that cruel.

Kaori Minamino: Yeah, all good things must come to an end... and if you try to drag it out... it starts to suck.


	76. Seventy Five

**The Greatest Fan of Your Life**

_One year later…_

**Anna POV**

Jake pops up next to me. "Hey," he says.

"Who said you could come in?" I ask him. "That could be considered trespassing you know."

He rolls his eyes. "Like you even care. I just wanted your opinion on something."

"Nothing ostentatious, nice dinner, one knee halfway through the dessert."

He closes his eyes and sighs, breathing out through his nose. "How long have you known?"

"You and Shizuru have had the hots for each other since day one," I answer, looking at him as seriously as I can manage under the circumstances. "It wasn't long before you asked her out. It didn't take much longer to see that you love her. End of story."

"But how long have you known I was going to propose?" he asks.

Well, I've known he was going to marry her for about four months. He started acting odd about three weeks ago. "A lot longer than you," I answer.

_The next day…_

Jake has gotten everything ready. He decided that he wanted to make the nice dinner, since Shizuru is the only one who ever cooks for more people than herself. He wanted to cook for her. And he told us that he knew we were going to listen in so we sure as hell better be quiet.

Botan, Keiko and I are sitting in the next room. They're almost done with dinner. They've been talking the entire time. Jake is going to propose during dessert. Suddenly I hear Shizuru slam her utensils down onto the table. "This is beautiful, Jake. But I have a problem."

"What is it?" he asks, sounding nervous.

"You are taking far too long," she replies.

"Far too long to do what?"

She ignores his question and says, "So if you won't, I will. Jacob Matthews, will you marry me?"

I hear Jake choke on whatever it is he's eating. Then he says weakly, "I was waiting for dessert."

_Two and a half years later…_

**Kurama POV**

Anna walks up and throws some mail on the table. She's been acting odd lately. Happier somehow. Something else is a bit off, too, but I can't quite tell what. "I think all of that's for you," she says.

I nod and go through it. Nothing interesting except…there's a manila envelope with no return address. And it has my full name on it. I hold it up so Anna can see. "Any idea what this may be?"

She looks up from where she's chopping vegetables—oh, it still gets me every time I see her doing something so mundane. We're married. We have a life. What did I ever do to deserve such happiness? She shrugs. "Why would I?"

"I don't know," I answer, carefully breaking the seal. I slide out a thing sheet of plastic. It's blue, black and white. "What is this?" I hold it up. She hardly glances up before shrugging again. I place it on the table, trying to—wait. Is this…? I look up at Anna. "Is this what I think it is?" I ask.

"First baby picture, you mean?" she asks. "Yes."

I cross the room and kiss her. "How many weeks?"

"Around thirteen."

"_Thirteen_?" I ask. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to be one hundred percent sure," she answers. "And then I didn't know how."

"This is _wonderful_, Anna," I say. "Wonderful." A baby. A _baby_. My baby. Anna's baby. I'm going to be…oh dear god. I'm going to be a father.

She smiles and puts my hand on her stomach. "I thought so too."

_Five months later…_

"Damn it," Anna shouts, crushing my hand. "Can't we just get this over with? Damn it!"

I don't know if it's Anna's determination or something purely physical, but it seems like it's only a few minutes before a piercing shriek fills the hospital room. "It's a girl," the nurse says smiling, checking her vitals, cleaning her, wrapping her, handing her to Anna. A baby. My baby. Then the nurse asks, "Do you have a name picked out?"

I look at Anna. We haven't really discussed names. The others had fun giving us suggestions, Shizuru and Botan in particular. But none of the names really stood out. At least none of the girls' names. I think that's because we already knew. Anna nods at me. "Shizuru," I say.

"That's a pretty name," the nurse replies, writing it down. "I'll leave you three alone for a couple minutes." Three. There are three of us now.

I go to Anna's side, and she offers me the baby. "She has your eyes," she says.

She's pink, with dark hair the color of Anna's. And sure enough, when she looks up at me, it's through glinting, golden eyes. But somehow, they're softer than mine ever were. More innocent. There aren't words. Then Anna says, "I'm scared, Kurama. I have nowhere to look for a model on how to be a mother. I'm so scared."

"I'm scared too," I reply. "Scared out of my wits."

Suddenly Shiori and Shizuru appear, tailed by Keiko, Takeshi, Jake and Yusuke. Shiori rushes over to me and looks down at her granddaughter. "What's her name?" she asks.

Anna smiles. "Shizuru."

"What?" Shizuru asks.

"No," I say. "Her name is Shizuru."

Shizuru puts a hand to her mouth in surprise. Then she leaves the room. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she's crying.

_Three and a half years later…_

**Anna POV**

"What?" Kurama says in shock.

"Twins," the doctor repeats. "Definitely twins. Congratulations."

"Oh dear god," he says, sitting down.

"Daddy," Shizuru asks. "Daddy, what's going on?"

"Twins," Kurama repeats more to himself than to our daughter. "Twins."

"What's going on?" Shizuru asks again.

"Daddy's in shock, Shizuru," I tell her. "You're going to have two little sisters or brothers."

"Two of each?" she asks.

God forbid. No. No, no, no. How do you explain the concept of twins to a three year old? "No…just two. But we don't know yet if they're boys or girls."

_Four months later…_

Oh good lord! "Get these kids out of me!" I shriek. I am never doing this again, never never never. You could not pay me enough money. "Now!"

It seems like an eternity later, but I am finally handed one crying baby, and Kurama is handed another. Our children. They're ours. I like to think I'm a good mother to Shizuru, but I don't know…I'm better than my mother at the very least, but that's not saying much. "A boy and a girl," the nurse says. "Congratulations. Names?"

I look at Kurama. "Any ideas?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. I would, however, like the names to have meaning." He smiles at me.

I nod. "Kurama, I could never give a kid a name that was just a name. I don't know. Names are so important."

He answers, "How about…Jacob?"

I grin at him. "Naming him after Jake?" I ask. "Do you know how funny Jake would find that? And I never particularly loved the name Jacob."

"Okay," he answers. "His middle name then. Dustin. Would that be better?" He looks down at the child in his arms.

I frown. I've never thought about how I like Jake's middle name. Then I smile and nod. "Dustin it is. Of course…it's not exactly a common name here in Japan."

"So he'll stand out. Nothing wrong with that." Then he adds, "Did you see his hair, Anna? It's silver. It's not like he can stand out much more than that." He tilts the child forward, so I can see. The tiny child waves his arms at me, brown eyes glowing.

I stare at him. Then I smile and show him our daughter. She has dark brown hair and green, green eyes. "We've named one of them after Shizuru, one of them after Jake…who do you love most, Kurama?"

"After you, I'm assuming?" he asks. I narrow my eyes. Him and his technicalities. "Shiori," he says. "Always Shiori."

I nod. "I thought so. How about Shiori?"

Kurama smiles and leans over to kiss me, careful not to crush either of them. "Perfect."

**Kurama POV**

I leave the twins asleep in Anna's arms in order to grab a drink. I bring Shizuru with me. As I'm leaving the room, I hear Anna's doctor talking to a nurse. "The Minaminos…I don't know…If I were him, I'd want a paternity test. That hair…so odd."

I say loudly to them, "I'd be more worried the kid wasn't mine if he had red hair. Don't you ever suggest that my wife is cheating on me again. To my face or behind my back."

I turn and walk away without waiting for a response. "Daddy," Shizuru asks. "What does cheating mean?"

I look down at her. "It's something that's really naughty," I reply. "Something Mommy would never do."

"Okay."

Shizuru. Dustin. Shiori. Anna. A family, something I never dreamed I'd have.

* * *

Sigh... well, there's that chapter. Only the epilogue left. Well, on to the reviews... Oh, there were seven this time. Four of you specifically mentioned what Anna said to Hiei. What does that say, do you think?

AprilMae72: that's pretty much my favorite line in that chapter too. I really want to know what he's thinking as he storms out...

Insanity4Apples: It will be 75 chapters long, NOT including the prologue and epilogue. I'm touched that you've stuck with this story for so long. Thanks so much for the support. :)

Kaori Minamino: Well, if Hiei gets any, Anna and Kurama obviously don't care too much... hmmm... perhaps I should add something about Hiei to the epilogue... could be interesting.

Angel of Randomosity: I'll miss you too. Although I'm kind of to the point where I'm just sick of Kurama and Anna's stupidity...

canopyskyandblanketseas: Ummm... not really planning on hooking Hiei up with anyone, but if I do, I _will_ use your name suggestion. :) As for making Hiei gay... I only write a very few yaoi stories, and those three Hiei's relationship is kind of central to the plot. I think saying Hiei is gay in the epilogue would make it so the ending wasn't quite so neat.

Allysarian: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you're excited. Me too.

animegrlsteph: that chapter wasn't exactly necessary... but it was fun to write and I basically had them act ridiculous. :) Did you like my favorite chapter?


	77. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Ten years later…_

**Shizuru Minamino POV**

"Dad," Dustin suddenly asks. "What's Mom's maiden name?"

"Why do you need to know?" he asks.

"I have to do this project for school," he explains as I stir the batter for cookies. "We're making family trees."

Dad sighs. "Matthews. Her maiden name is Matthews."

"What about Matthews?" Mom comes into the room, frowning. I've never quite been able to understand why she never wants to talk about her past. Any questions I bother to ask, she weasels her way out of answering. Unless the answer comes sometime after she started dating Dad.

"Dustin's doing a project for school," Dad answers. "Family tree."

"Oh," Mom says. "Okay."

"Mom," I ask. "Why don't you ever talk about your past? Neither of you do. It all seems to start when you guys started dating. Not when you met, but when you started dating."

She glances at Dad. Then she says, "Our lives haven't exactly been…pretty. Sometimes it's best just to try and forget, try to move on. I've learned that there's no sense in dwelling on the past."

Dad stands up and walks over to her, kissing her quickly. That is so gross. They've been married almost nineteen years, but they still act like they've just fallen in love. Ugh. "Still here," I remind them.

"That's okay," Dad says. "Your mother's never exactly been shy."

"Shut up," she answers. "Like you have."

"You always had a way of making me embarrassed," he reminds her. "I was obviously more shy than you." Dad, shy? Embarrassed?

"Daddy," Shiori says. "Why do you like Mom so much?"

"That," he answers, "I could not tell you. I don't quite understand myself." Mom suddenly hits him. He adds, "That's one of the things I don't understand. One of her favorite things to say to me until we got married was 'Don't touch me, Kurama.'"

"Too familiar," she mutters back.

He laughs. "Might I remind you that more often than not it was you who made the first move?"

"Oh, shut up."

I look over and see that, by now, Dustin has completely lost interest in the conversation. "Daddy," I ask sweetly. "Could you answer a few questions?"

He looks at Mom. "You know she's up to something when she calls me _Daddy_."

Mom nods at him. "Whatever. Answer whatever you want. I'll just sit over here and listen, make sure you don't twist the story into something it's not."

He smiles. "What do you want to know?"

Lots of things. Lots and lots. "The people. Where did you meet all your friends?"

"Mostly in life and death situations," Dad answers. I stare, and he sighs, "Shizuru, I know you know I'm a demon. But…like your mom said, some parts of the past are better left forgotten. For a millennium I was a thief and a murderer. I met many of my friends as a result of that. Well, Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara were a direct result of that. Most of the others were a result of the Dark Tournament or my involvement with Yusuke." Suddenly he laughs. "Except Leah."

Why must my family be so weird? I have golden eyes, isn't that enough? Do I really need to be afraid to bring my friends over to my house because my father was a thief and a murderer? Apparently. And god forbid what happens when my father finds out I have a boyfriend. "But what about Hikari?" I ask. "She's human. She probably couldn't fight to save her life. Although she might kill someone with all her analyzing. And what's different about Leah? She's a demon."

"We met Leah after Hiei… well, at our wedding reception Hiei was telling me how stupid I was for falling in love. Your mother told him he needed to get laid." Wow. I think I've underestimated how ridiculous my family can be. "So he went out with the intent of proving to her that getting laid would change nothing." Dad laughs. "And the idiot fell in love." He hasn't answered my first question. I think he's avoiding it. But why?

"And Hikari?" I ask.

He sighs, looking frustrated that I remembered. "She was your mother's psychiatrist after she…" he trails off.

"Just say it, Kurama," Mom says. "I'm sure she understands already anyway."

"When your mother tried to kill herself." Yes, I did know that. Well, suspected it at the very least. The scars on her arms…they're bad enough that they had to be pretty deep. But…why does Dad look so sad? Does it really hurt him that bad just to think of losing Mom? "The second time."

"The second time?" I ask, startled. I already knew she tried suicide once, but…

"She tried to kill herself a few years before we met," Dad answers quietly. "When Jake was doing drugs and her life basically…"

"Sucked," Mom finishes.

"Jake did drugs?" I ask. I didn't know that. I can't exactly say it surprises me, but I didn't know it either. Jake is…different would probably be the best way to put it. My family is so screwed up. My mom and my uncle are both forty or almost forty, but they still make a habit of wrestling each other whenever one of them says something irritating. And then both Mom and Jake had to come halfway around the world to fall in love. Shizuru and Dad never let them forget that.

"Yes," Mom answered. "You name it, he probably tried it at least once." I can tell by her tone that that subject is closed. She won't be saying anything more on Jake's drugs any time soon. If ever.

"Daddy?" I finally ask.

"Yes, Shizuru?" he sighs. He suddenly sounds so tired.

"How did you and Mom meet?"

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and I were vacationing in America. We were walking the paths of a National Park. I don't remember who…I think it was Kuwabara realized there was someone near the path but not actually on it."

"Mom?" Shiori asks.

Dad nods to her. "Yep. Your mother was sitting off to the side of the path. But when we tried to get her to come out, she ran away from the path. We ran after her; we didn't want her to get lost in the forest after dark."

"See?" Mom interrupts. "This is exactly why I have to listen to him tell this story. He insists on making it look like I'm the one who needed saving."

"So how did it really happen?" Dad asks, looking amused. I get the feeling that he knew she'd react this way. He knew she wouldn't like that opening, and she'd get fired up enough to help him tell the story. The whole story.

"I was sitting on the riverbank minding my own business," Mom says. She looks amused as well. She knows what he's doing to get her to talk, but she isn't objecting. I don't understand them. And I'm already regretting asking. "You tried to get me to come out, so I ran away. Then when you all followed me, _you_ got lost, and I had to lead _you_ out."

"Oh yes," he says, getting up and walking to her. He pulls her to her feet, picks her up and spins her through the air. Okay, it's almost sickening how young they act. "You're right. I remember now. Then Yusuke convinced you to come back to Japan with us. On the condition that you wouldn't have to sit by me. You wanted nothing to do with me."

Wait, Mom didn't like Dad at first? I didn't know that. "Fortunately," Mom answers, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. How is it that after eighteen years they still act like they've just fallen in love? It's cute and disgusting at the same time. "You wouldn't leave well enough alone."

* * *

Well... there's the final chapter of runaway train. Chapters 1-42 were titled with the lyrics of 'Runaway Train' by Soul Asylum. Chapters 43-75 were titled with the lyrics of 'I'll Be' by Edwin McCain. You all know who I own through the story... Now, this bit could take a while.

First, some statistics: 29 pages of reviews, 423 reviews (excluding this chapter), 77 chapters and 123,797 words. It's been a long, fun story (at least for me; I hope you all can say the same).

Second, I have a new poll set up concerning a comment made in chapter 72. The poll is dedicated to wolvesrain17, whose idea it was. ;)

Third, Leah is dedicated to canopyskyandblanketseas, no matter how fleeting her character actually is.

Fourth, the story as a whole is dedicated to Kaori Minamino, wolvesrain17, AprilMae72, FireStorm1991, Aya Ayame, lostmoonchild, Insanity4Apples, Kuramasredredrose, Angel of Randomosity, canopyskyandblanketseas, Allysarian, animegrlsteph, Eldel Raid of Water/Starmaid15, Sarcastic Nightmare, DarlingAngelthewriter, NatalieRikuLoveStory, Slimjim314yo, SolitaryNyght, PiNkBuN17,  
Foxgirl Ray, Arista Lycoris, Takara Rose Oizumi, Kajihenge Yoko, a real lady, joey'sBrooklynRage, 01Trycia-chan01, T. R. Blessing, moani-sama, Cheshire Lee Kat, Alaska-Pixie, FallenAngelx3,  
Melancholy-Symphony, avengedchocolateangel, ViolentAlice, Kiara3rayerayepoo, Dyani91, ShadowFireFox13, and FeistyFilly. I appreciate everyone's support and reviews! Please note: If you reviewed and your name is NOT on this list, it's because I missed it when sorting through 29 pages of reviews. The story is still dedicated to you, I promise. I love and will miss you all!

Finally, this chapter is dedicated to all of you who added this story or me to one of your favorites/alert lists.

Kaori Minamino: I love chapter 75... I think it might be my favorite in the entire story...

wolvesrain17: Thanks, glad you liked it.

AprilMae72: I'm glad you read it all the way through to the end also.

FireStorm1991: I'm going to miss this story too.

Aya Ayame: Thanks. :)

lostmoonchild: yeah, there are a couple sets of twins in my family too. But who knows what's coming this generation, right?

Insanity4Apples: I'm sad too. but all good things must come to an end. If they don't... they stop being so good.

Kuramasredredrose: Thanks so much! :)


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